ROH: BITTER FRIENDS, STIFFER ENEMIES - 8/16/2003

ROH: BITTER FRIENDS, STIFFER ENEMIES

Sacred Heart University
Fairfield, CT
August 16th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 5 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 4 Defenses)

Sorry for the brief absence (if there’s anyone actually reading). Work was busy this week plus the last two ROH shows were boring and bad, respectively, and I needed a bit of a break. This show *looks* stellar. Let’s see if it delivers.

The show starts with a shot of an arm tattoo that reads “RUST NEVER SLEEPS”, and the camera pulls back to reveal it belongs to RAVEN. Raven says it’s come to his attention that he’s been fingered as the prime suspect for Lucy’s beatdown last month because somebody left a note behind that says “Rust Never Sleeps”. Well while we’re at it if you’re gonna blame him, blame Neil Young too. Hell, maybe blame Crazy Horse as well. He says he has nothing to do with Lucy’s beatdown, but he doesn’t hate that it happened. He quite enjoys it. He wasn’t in Dayton though. As far as Punk’s weasel ass, a cage isn’t violent enough he’s starting to believe. Running his skeezy little face across the cage until it bleeds isn’t enough. And there’s only way to turn up the violence. So therefore, he welcomes him to Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun Cage Match. Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.

Elsewhere, Convicted Sex Offender RF is talking to Gabe who’s holding the camera, telling a clearly false story about a woman he slept with. Keep reaching. Punk storms up and shoves RF. He says he was gone ONE MONTH, he missed ONE SHOW since last November, in his absence, his people are dropping like flies. Punk says Ace and Cabana were too afraid to show up tonight because somebody left behind a note with Ravens tattoo on it. Punk wants to know why someone hasn’t been brought to justice. A nervous RF says he’s aware and he will investigate further into it. The Outcast Killaz walk up and interrupt Punk, and Punk says he’s not going to stand here and be interrupted by Special K. The Killaz introduce themselves, and they tell Punk to relax and drink a beer. Punk beats the shit out of both of them and then leaves.

Special K are in the hallways and they say they need more women in the group. They turn a corner and see Alexis Laree. They start trying to flirt with her and she goes on some diatribe about honor and respect. Meanwhile, Becky Bayless sneaks behind her and drops drugs into the drink Alexis had. But Alexis turns in time to see this and kicks the cup out of her hand. She tells Becky to meet her in the ring tonight.

Prince Nana comes out for his match, BUT HOMICIDE GETS OUT TO THE RING AND GRABS A MIC AND HE STARTS SCREAMING FOR CORINO TO GET HIS ASS OUT HERE NOW! Guillotine LeGrande comes out (still no idea who this dude is) and he is representing Corino. GMC runs over with a mic. LeGrande says he'll erase the confusion here. He's been insulted, CW Anderson's been insulted, Jack Victory's been insulted, but Homicide has insulted Steve Corino most of all. He brings Corino son into this, and that's disgusting. Still no recollection of that happening. He says Steve Corino is here and ready, but he's in the back getting a massage and he'll be 100% to kick his ass LATER tonight. LeGrande says he had always admired and respected Homicide, but he's turned out to be an ROH puppet lately. Homicide starts to jaw at him but then NANA SPINS HOMICIDE AROUND! Nana challenges Homicide to face him, and Gabe notes that Nana’s opponent was set to be Tortuga but he was a victim of the Punk beatdown. Homicide laughs and accepts.

Match #1: Homicide vs. Prince Nana
It’s noted that Homicide does not have Smokes with him being true to his word. Dude did I miss a whole Homicide promo or something where he makes this promise and insults Corino’s kid? Nana gets a few surprising shots in right away to take Cide off guard. All of Nana’s offense is centered around his gigantic ass. Cide quickly makes his comeback and this turns in to a fun quick squash. Cide wins with his Torture STF.
**

Post-match, Homicide gets back on the mic. He says Corino is dead tonight, and actually, HE WANTS IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. CSO RF comes out and says he'll get him now and Homicide yells that he wants him NOW! GMC comes out instead and says Corino WILL be out later on and says to relax, and the match will happen. He leaves and Homicide says Corino is a dead man tonight, and you're gonna fucking see it. Then he says FUCK YOU BITCH to the camera.

Backstage, the Carnage Crew are talking. DeVito says he couldn’t make it to the Dayton show because he got called in to work. But he had off Saturday night and he wanted to relax but the kids were crying and his wife was nagging him and he couldn’t stand it. Loc says at least he wasn’t there to get pinned by those Special K shitheads like he was. They do a lot of yelling about Special K’s wealth and lack of respect, and they’re pissed off and they’re gonna take it out on everyone in their match tonight.

There’s a Purists vs. Dunn/Marcos match but THANK CHRIST, it’s a clip job.

In the back, Dan Maff is standing by. Maff says to go through with your future, you have to deal with your past. That's exactly what he'll do tonight to Low Ki. In 1998, they didn’t meet as Dan Maff and Low Ki, they met as two regular people trying to get to the same place. Throughout the years, Low Ki got bigger, faster, and stronger. He went and became an international superstar. An indie wrestling god, larger than life. Everyone looks up to him. He went to Japan before anyone else did. He got the honor of walking down Madison Square Garden. He became the first ROH Champion! And recently, he fulfilled his dream and teamed with the Great Muta. And Dan Maff was always walking behind him, always held back and in his shadow. But it's finally a new day and a new age. Because Maff grew up. Maff got bigger and badder and turned into the biggest badass that ROH has to offer. It's them for the first time here tonight, and it's in Low Ki's house, ROH. But Low Ki is yesterday's news. He's the original demon from Bed-Stuy DO OR DIE. He's the hired assassin, under the eye of the Fallen Angel. He's tired of hearing and reading about Low Ki. He's tired of his stupid music and people chanting his name. PISS ON LOW KI. PISS ON HIM. HE'S SICK OF THIS GARBAGE. IT'S HIS TURN AND HIS TIME. The sickest thing was when he went home, IN HIS OWN GOD DAMNED HOUSE, and he goes to tuck his daughter in and he asked who her favorite wrestler was, just joking as her daddy. AND SHE SAID LOW KI. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN YEARS, HE FELT LIKE SMACKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. SHE DISRESPECTED HIM AND LOW KI, HE WILL NOT BEAT HIM. HE'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM. Holy shit, a would-be career defining promo, but alas.

At the start of the next match, it's announced that the Field of Honor is an  8-man tournament with two blocks of 4, round robin style. Still no idea what its purpose is.

Match #2: BJ Whitmer vs. Matt Stryker [Invitation to Field of Honor Match]
This wasn’t any good. Not that I was expecting a hidden gem with these two but it just stunk. Felt like a fight with no real reason to be one, i.e. little to no limb work or selling, no psychology. Just two dudes throwing moves at each other. And it goes on doing that for absurdly long as they end up drawing at the 15 minute mark. Whatever.
*1/2

Post-match, GMC comes out and announces that due to the draw, both men will be in the Field. Crowd goes mild.

Match #3: Special K (Dixie/Izzy) vs. Backseat Boyz vs. Carnage Crew vs. The SAT [Tag Team Scramble]
I honestly think there’s an argument to be made for the SAT being one of the worst teams of the 2000’s. They actively drag down every match they’re in. This would’ve probably been a solid three star affair without their involvement. But they botch and slip around all over the place and don’t have it in them to recover properly like Special K do. Carnage Crew and Backseats carried this to at least being passable. Finish came when Carnage Crew hit Izzy with the Carnage Driver but all of Special K breaks it up with NO DQ being called. In the melee, the Special K members switch around and Kashmere hits who he thinks is Dixie with the Cradlebreaker but the real Dixie in another persons big fuzzy hat rolls Kashmere up for the upset win. Nice.
**

Post-match, Special K and their girls start to rave again but it’s interrupted by Alexis Laree coming out for her match.

Match #4: Alexis Laree vs. Becky Bayless
Awful. Becky is Jenna Morasca levels of bad. But I don’t know why she’s being put into this situation. Special K keep attacking Alexis behind the ref’s back, which eventually leads to some HIJINX SPOTS~ where Alexis keeps evading them causing them to collide. Alexis finally catches Becky and hits her with an Inverted DDT to win. Poop.
1/4*

Before the next match, the two men face off in the ring. Xavier gets on the mic and says everyone here thinks that Christopher Daniels is the leader of The Prophecy. But in reality, HE was the real leader. HE was the ROH champion for 6 months, and he beat the best. They chose HIM to be champion because he was always the better man, better athlete, and better wrestler. So as good as friends as they may be, Daniels should just lay down and let Xavier bring The Prophecy back to greatness. Daniels doesn’t like this. Daniels gets the microphone and says Xavier was only the ROH Champion because he LET him win that belt. He was ROH Champion BECAUSE IT WAS HIS PLAN, THE PLAN OF THE FALLEN ANGEL. AND IF THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS RING WHO HAS THE BRAINS FOR A PLAN LIKE THAT, IT CLEARLY ISN'T XAVIER. HE is the leader of The Prophecy, HE makes the decisions, and HE won't ask Xavier to lay down for him…because he doesn't need him to lay down for him for him to win. GET HIS ASS.

Match #5: Christopher Daniels vs. Xavier [#1 Contd’rs Trophy]
The Fallen Angel is a miracle worker because he drags probably the best match Xavier is ever capable of having out of him. He’s still lacking in so many basic fundamental departments like just the idea of learning how to sell. But on offense, he’s a bit tighter with his work. He focuses on Daniels’ neck, which is always a weak point. At one point, he sends Daniels off the apron head first into the guard rail and it opens the match up for a long AND SURPRISINGLY NOT AWFUL control segment. Daniels keeps attempting comebacks but his own offensive arsenal causes him to hurt himself. Additionally, to play off the “the former partners know each other too well” bit, both men do a great job at finding ways out of or avoiding altogether the big moves of the other man. They do a double lariat spot where they both go down and Daniels sells the shot to the neck like death. Xavier tries to go the extra mile by using the ropes on his finishing run, but the ref catches him. BUT MOMENTS LATER, DUE TO POSITIONING, THE REF TOTALLY MISSES DANIELS GETTING A FISTFUL OF TRUNKS ON AN O’CONNOR ROLL TO WIN! DANIELS FINALLY GETS HIS WOLRD TITLE SHOT AND THE CROWD LOVES IT!
***1/4

In the back during intermission, GMC is standing by a door with a crudely drawn sign that says “KEEP OUT - ZERO ONE TALENT ONLY”. GMC says it’s Steve Corino’s locker room and they’re going to go in and find out why Corino wasn’t ready for the Homicide match earlier. GMC goes to enter the locker room, BUT CM PUNK COMES OUT OF IT. FORESHADOWING~ Punk is screaming for Chris Daniels and GMC says he doesn’t know where he is so Punk leaves. GMC heads in and asks Corino if he's ready for tonight’s match and he's also heard about his neck. Corino says his neck is fine and LeGrande says all he said was he wasn't ready when Homicide was out there, and Corino says he only works main events. He determines when he works, and they kick GMC out. Nice.

Match #6: Deranged vs. Hydro vs. Jonny Storm vs. Slyk Wagner Brown [Four Corner Survival Match]
Slyk sucks so much ass. But he had a funny spot where he tosses both Special K guys from the ring and calls for Storm to do a running leap off his back to the floor, but as Storm hits the ropes Wagner takes his head off with a lariat. I LOVE THAT. The rest of this is what it is. Some fun spots from the Special K guys but the other two really stink. Finish comes when Storm whiffs on an SSP attempt and Deranged hits him with a poisonrana to win.
*3/4

Punk comes out for his match and is welcomed with chants of “YOU DRANK BEER!” Punk grabs a mic and asks if anyone here knows what it's like to almost have everything you've believed in ripped away from you, and then have the thing you fought the most against poured down your throat in a shithole state like New Jersey. HEY! Punk says he almost did, because of a washed up has-been and a fat never-was. The chants continue and Punk says he expects that from them, but he wants to talk to his soldiers. For those brave enough to stand in the face of oppression and hold up an X. It's that pride, integrity, discipline, faith, and heart that makes them part of something bigger than the rest of them will ever know. In 21 days, you will witness the first ROH steel cage match and it might not be the last one, but it will be the most violent, brutal, unforgiving, bloody, sacrificial match you will see in Ring of Honor. Raven has 21 days to live his life how he sees fit before he smashes his spirit under his boot. He finishes by saying those of you who follow Raven to drugs, depravity, and debauchery can step in this ring, and he'll stamp you out just like he will Raven.

IT’S TIME.

Match #7: Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk [Non-Title Match]
I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t disappointing. It’s certainly not bad it’s good, I enjoyed it. But I also know this isn’t a part of The Trilogy, and I can see why it’s not called a Quadrilogy or whatever dumb internet buzz word. Both men are legit banged up going into this as well, so that adds to the somewhat disappointing nature. Joe busts Punk’s mouth open pretty early and they work around that. Joe goes to set up for the Ole Kick on the floor but PUNK GETS UP AT THE LAST SECOND AND DOES RAVEN’S DROP TOE HOLD TO THE CHAIR BIT AND THEN HITS HIS POSE! I love that this spot is hilariously the only legacy Scotty Riggs left behind in the business. Going back to them both being banged up, commentary notes that Joe’s working through an elbow injury and Punk with a knee injury, and naturally that’s where these two sickos focus on hurting each other the most. Still, the overall match lacked the passion and umph later matches would provide. Again, that doesn’t make it a bad match. Just not a match up to the incredibly high bar they set together in the next two years. Joe continues the knee work til the end, eventually getting Punk to tap out to a vicious looking single leg crab.
***

Post-match, Chris Daniels runs out to attack Joe. Joe tries to stop him with an Enzuiguri BUT DANIELS DUCKS AND HITS JOE WITH THE ANGEL’S WINGS! Daniels holds up the ROH Title to a big pop and then drops it down on Joe. Daniels then looks at Punk and laughs as he struggles to stand up, and Daniels leaves before anything goes down.

Homicide comes out alone for the next match as promised. But of course, Steve Corino comes out with an entourage of Guillotine LeGrande, some of his very own young boys and Bobby Cruise, who’s his personal ring announcer! He’s also draped in all the gold he currently has from around the world. Bobby Cruise takes the mic and introduces LeGrande and then goes on with maybe the greatest ring introduction I’ve ever heard, listing all of Corino’s accomplishments…literally:

A FORMER:

A FORMER:

•     BCW JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
•     IWA JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     ECWA TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     MEWF LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     MEWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION,
•     WWC JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     UFCW TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     MCW JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     IPWA TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     IPWA LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     EXW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     IWF AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     IPW HARDCORE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     IWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     MID ATLANTIC CHAMPION
•     OMEGA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     IHPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     MCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

THEN HE STOPS AND TAKES A WATER BREAK AND THE CROWD BOOS THE HELL OUT OF HIM? Fantastic.

•     NWA PENNSYLVANIA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     NWA 2000 LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     NWA 2000 AMERICAN HERITAGE CHAMPION
•     NWA FLORIDA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     NWA US TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     NWA WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     NWA NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     PWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     PWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION
•     PRO WRESTLING ZERO1 U.S. CHAMPION
•     NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
•     AND ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

HE IS THE CURRENT:

•     NWA SOUTHERN CHAMPION
•     NWA INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPION
•     AND MLW WORLD CHAMPION

FROM SEA ISLE CITY, NJ. HE IS THE EXTREME HORSEMEN, THE KING OF OLD SCHOOL, AND THE **FUCKING GOD** OF PRO WRESTLING, STEVE CORINO!

AND THE YOUNG BOYS THROW STREAMERS IN BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY SLIDE IN THE RING TO CLEAN THEM UP!

And it’s on!

Match #8: Steve Corino vs. Homicide [No Holds Barred]
One of the craziest, bloodiest matches I’ve ever seen. This has such a huge feeling to it from the get go, and it’s so ultra stiff, violent and filled to the brim with hatred. Early on, they’re exchanging basic holds but it’s done with such force and disregard for each other that it comes across like an actual fight. Corino keeps one upping Homicide and refuses to acknowledge him as a peer. For instance, Homicide tries to get in a slap battle but Corino won’t even dignify that BECAUSE IT WOULD BE ADMITTING HOMICIDE IS ON HIS LEVEL. SO HOMICIDE BELTS CORINO WITH THE STIFFEST, LOUDEST, MOST BRUTAL SLAP ACROSS THE SIDE OF THE HEAD THAT I’VE EVER SEEN/HEARD. Corino IMMEDIATELY crumbles down in pain and rolls out, holding the ear. The story is that til this very day, Corino has hearing problems in that ear. I dunno if that’s a work or not though. A frustrated Corino tries to leave but as he gets to the entry way, JULIUS SMOKES IS HERE AFTER ALL! And he’s got Grim Reefer and Slugga with him! Commentary points out the question of why Slugga is with the Rottweilers and I guess that’ll be answered at another time.

Corino’s forced back to the ring and Smokes stays at ringside now. Homicide begins working Corino over in and out of the ring. Homicide focuses on Corino’s bad arm/shoulder/neck area, AND THEN TAKES OUT A STRAND OF BARBED WIRE AND REPEATEDLY SLICES CORINO’S BAD ARM! AND THEN TAKES OUT A FORK AND STARTS STABBING HIM ON IT. *AND THEN* STARTS BITING THE OPEN WOUNDS, AND HIS MOUTH IS FILLED WITH CORINO’S BLOOD. JESUS.

Corino ends up fighting Homicide off and gets lucky with a strike that busts Homicide open on the forehead. So Corino repays the favor by first, DIGGING HIS FINGERS INTO THE WOUND AND PEELING IT OPEN, MOTHER OF CHRIST.

THEN HE USES THE BARBED WIRE ON HOMICIDE TOO!  Homicide is bleeding so much that if he lays anywhere for literally more than 5-10 seconds, a LARGE pool of blood pours onto the floor/mat.

Homicide kicks out of a piledriver in the ring and rolls to the floor immediately but accidentally rolls onto the ringside table instead, SO CORINO GOES OUT AND HITS THE FUNK STYLE PILEDRIVER ON HOMICIDE THROUGH THE TABLE!

Homicide refuses to stay down and starts to get his second wind. He gets Corino up against the guard rail and then goes back in the ring for a Tope Con Hilo attempt, BUT JUST LIKE IN FEBRUARY, CORINO MOVES AND HOMICIDE LANDS WITH ONE OF THE NASTIEST THUDS EVER ACROSS THE BARRICADE!

Jesus Christ. AND THEN TO CAPITALIZE ON IT, JUST LIKE HE DID AT THE 1YA, CORINO LOCKS ON THE COBRA CLUTCH SLEEPER. BUT HOMICIDE FINDS A WAY TO THE ROPES! Homicide fights off a second attempt when they’re on their feet and gains his third wind, going on a crazy comeback. The match starts to become a little long in the tooth and a little ridiculous with just how much big stuff they start throwing at each other just for the repeated kick outs to happen. But it also kind of works because it helps get across how much these two HATE each other and are not willing to lay there for even three seconds to give the other the satisfaction. They both really start to sell the exhaustion well. Corino does a superplex that ends up hurting not only his already bad neck, but aggravates the ear injury from earlier. This gives Homicide time to recover and NAIL Corino with a stiff lariat. Homicide has him down and locks on the Torture STF! He’s got it on for a WHILE and Corino just WILL NOT TAP. Eventually, someone comes to their senses and LeGrande throws in the towel for Corino to end it. Homicide wins, but Corino was NOT pinned and did NOT tap, and this is NOT over.

God damn. Easily the best match I’ve seen yet in ROH and probably one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. Like with one viewing, this immediately may have shot up into my top 25-50 matches ever.
****3/4

Post-match, a decent amount of time passes before anyone gets up to their feet. Homicide is helped up by Smokes while the young boys, LeGrande and some refs are checking on Corino. Homicide celebrates like a mad man to a standing ovation. He grabs a bottle of water and sips from it before standing over Corino and pouring it down on Corino’s face as a final insult before leaving.

I don’t know how you follow any of that. Zero clue how that wasn’t the main event.

Match #9: Low Ki vs. Dan Maff
This was alright but it didn’t need to be the main event. Like this is truly a baffling decision to me. Crowd is dead for it, too. Ki is extra stiff here, probably because he’s a dick but maybe because it’s his friend and he didn’t want to look like he was mailing it in? In fact, he’s so stiff that around 8-9 minutes in, he hits a springboard gamenguri on Maff that legitimately knocks him out. The ref checks on Maff who is not moving and commentary tries to move things along (which is super weird because everyone knows this is post recorded commentary.) Ki quickly covers to win.
**

Oof.

Maff’s heel turn has been pretty unfortunate. First, Joe gets the knee on him in that angle that legit injures his jaw but alright fine sets up a match. Then his dad unfortunately passes away and of course he’s rightfully going to get some babyface love for that. Now in his big match against his former best friend, he gets knocked out a little less than halfway through. Just a bummer all around.

Backstage, Special K are tending to Becky Bayless. They go into the locker room to find Alexis Laree and she dares them all to fight right here. Becky says she comes in peace. She verbally lathers Alexis up long enough that one of the Special K members is able to slip behind Alexis and spike her drink. Special K then leave and we see Alexis drink her drink. Okay.

In the back, Christopher Daniels cuts a promo. He says it was another stellar night for The Prophecy, as he got one step closer to winning the ROH Title. As for Dan Maff, he proved his value to The Prophecy. Not only did he end The Group, but he took Ki's best shot tonight, THE KICK HEARD ROUND THE WORLD, and he still survived, and that is why he's the toughest wrestler in Ring of Honor. Daniels also notes that tonight he may have had a problem with Xavier tonight, but it's a spat between family to be dealt with in due time. Danger interrupts to say she thought it looked pretty bad but he quiets her down. Daniels says that he is one step closer to his DESTINY. Not only did he win the trophy, but he left Samoa Joe on his back.

But then, CM Punk comes over! He gets in Daniels face and asks if he did it to Lucy. Daniels warns Punk that he's in no condition to mouth off like this with that bad knee, and he should worry about September 6th and Raven, not Lucy. He warns Punk that Raven has promised that it will be the most violent match of his career which is saying something. Punk says he's not done with them and they’re little Prophecy, and then takes over the camera.

He says that on October 25th, 1997, he made his debut and he X'd out his hands as a symbol. He lived under the guise of a drunken father in a broken home, seeing things that no child should ever have to see, and he’s got to relive that because of Raven and a fat never-was pouring beer down his throat. He hates Raven, and 21 days from now, Raven claims violence, but he has no idea. Be careful what you wish for. Punk says that he beats Raven again and again and again, and still he comes back for more. But after he stands on his throat and listens to his death rattle in 3 weeks, he will know his name is CM Punk and that straight edge means he's better than him. Punk leaves, and Daniels laughs maniacally.

IN THREE WEEKS: THE FIELD OF HONOR BEGINS! PUNK/RAVEN IN A CAGE!

ROH: WRATH OF THE RACKET - 8/9/2003

ROH: WRATH OF THE RACKET

Montgomery County Fairgrounds
Dayton, OH
August 9th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 5 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 3 Defenses)

Backstage, Cabana and Steel are standing by on a special camera being operated by Lucy. This is so they finally get screen time according to Ace. Punk is in Japan. They talk about their match tonight but Cabana loses focus because he wants to know more about this Field of Honor tournament. Steel surmises that it’s like the Field of Dreams so there will likely be dead wrestlers there. Brilliant. Cabana goes around the corner to find Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein, but instead they find Homicide and J-Train throwing dice. Cabana asks the “broheim’s” if they’re playing jacks? They no sell it. Cabana asks if they know about the field of honor. Homicide says he isn’t sure he’s only focused on his match against Sabin tonight. Smokes says HE MUST BE A CLOWN, B. WHATCHU MEAN YOU DON’T KNOW ABOUT THE FIELD OF HONOR? ONLY THE BEST OF THE BEST. OPEN THE GATES OF HELL. DEVILS SON IN LAW. AND ROH NEEDS TO BE WORRIED ABOUT THE SYNDICATE AND THEM BRINGING IN THE ROTTWEILERS. Cabana says he didn’t get any of that and Smokes starts to get testy, so Ace moves Cabana and Lucy along. Smokes then lets out a string of BBDDAAT BBDDAAT BBDDAAT’s which makes the Saints run for their lives. 

It should be noted that while “Lucy” is holding the camera, we never see her, because she got signed by WWE and was getting ready to report to OVW. Interesting to note (I guess) I was at the RAW in Philly in spring 2003 where she managed Punk in a dark match, and I believe that was the appearance that got her signed. Not sure if she makes any more appearances but I know an angle happens on this show or the next. 

Elsewhere, AJ & Red are standing by. They cut a very basic promo about their tag title reign and how it’s been spent mostly facing the Briscoes, but they got their last shot. They say they respected the Briscoes but they don’t respect their opponents tonight, the Prophecy. After the camera “cuts”, AJ asks Red if he’s sure his knee is okay and Red promises him it is. AJ says he feels responsible for his well being. SAT walk up and check on Red too, and he again swears he fine. He walks off and the SAT keep AJ behind briefly and ask him to keep an eye on their cousin. 

For as awesome as he is in ring, I don’t know if I’ve ever seen someone less ready to be in front of a camera for a promo than Red was here. Good lord. 

During the entrances for the next match, the house lights are on and this is one of the worst looking venues ROH has done yet. Luckily the lights go down and their newer set up flushes that out. But if they were here a year ago it honestly would’ve distracted me how shitty this venue looks. 

Match #1: The SAT vs. Don Juan/Fast Eddie vs. Carnage Crew (Loc/Masada) vs. Special K (Deranged/Hydro) [Tag Scramble]
You take the TWA kids out of the hardcore atmosphere and they’re immediately in over their head. But the other three teams were able to hold up their end. SAT has the match won with the Spanish Fly off the top but then the TWA kids dive on them on the floor. Dixie trips Loc up, AND DERGANED HITS A HURICANRANA AND GRABS ONTO DIXIE'S ARMS FROM THE FLOOR TO STEAL IT! Fun finish.
**1/4

Post-match, the other three teams leave angrily. Special K party in the ring. But then resident piece of shit Jim Cornette shows up in the aisle way. He wants to go to the ring to cut a promo but upon getting there is told the mic is back by the entrance. Cornette scolds the stage hand for not having a longer cord. Pro and con here: the con is that the mic can’t get past the entry way. The pro is that, for the first time in the company’s existence, ROH HAS AUDIBLE SOUND COMING FROM THEIR ARENA AUDIO EQUIPMENT!

Anyway, Cornette plays the hits on his usual list of tired insults to make fun of Special K. He shits on their type of wrestling because he’s a dope. He said he’s brought a tag team with him tonight to “The Ring of Honor”…AND THE MIDNIGHT EXPRESS MUSIC STARTS PLAYING! FUCK YEAH COME ON SWEET STAN AND BEAUTIFUL BOBBY. I’LL EVEN TAKE LOVERBOY DENNIS! Special K bail through the crowd. But Cornette is annoyed because THAT isn’t the music he wanted played. He turns to yell at the audio guy, BUT OUT COME DUNN AND MARCOS!

Dunn and Marcos explain who they are and say with Cornette’s help they can rock tag team wrestling LIKE A HURRICANE! Cornette again reaches in to his decrepit, dusty old bag of 1980’s strip mall comic club jokes to insult Dunn & Marcos before having the REAL team he brought with him to Ohio come out and attack them…AND IT’S THE PROPHECY BAH GAWD. Daniels and Maff do a tremendous beatdown on Dunn and Marcos including hitting some Midnight Express classics at the behest of Cornette, and Cornette gets a few racket shots in so he can feel good about himself. Daniels gets on the mic and announces Cornette as the newest member of the Prophecy and their manager tonight. On commentary, Gabe says AJ & Red stand no chance if Cornette is managing the Prophecy. Shut up, you crotch goblin. 

Backstage, BJ Whitmer breaks out a paint by numbers style promo to hype his world title match tonight. 

Whoever Chet’s manager is, Brock Guffman or whatever, cuts a promo before the match to try and drum up interest in what is essentially a WWE developmental match that’s about to happen. I don’t think Nigel was signed, but Chet was and HWA was still a WWE developmental territory at this point. Chet was someone that was hilariously in developmental for something like 6-7 years, went from HWA to OVW to DSW to FCW, and just never was any good, and then got popped with a group of FCW guys for violating the wellness policy in 2008. 

Match #2: Nigel McGuinness vs. Chet Jablonski [#1 Contender for HWA Heavyweight Title]
This isn’t good but it’s far from the worst thing ever. Just sort of a match where two dudes are going through the motions. Nigel has a ways to go before he’s where he gets in about 2ish years. Joblonski is bland. And what an awful name too. Chet Joblonski. Gross. Nigel wins with one of those old school Tim Horner tarantula style pins.
*1/2

FIELD OF HONOR IS COMING SOON EVEN THOUGH WE HAVEN’T TOLD ANYONE WHAT IT IS. 

Match #3: Homicide vs. Chris Sabin
This wasn’t bad at all. Mostly was a showcase for Homicide but it let Sabin get a lot of his shit in and you can tell he’s developing well. He does some decent arm work on Cide that doesn’t really go anywhere. But they have a fun finishing run with some teases of the Cop Killa where Sabin keeps finding ways to avoid it, ultimately leading to Cide throwing a leg back to low blow Sabin out of sight of the ref, and then finally hitting the Cop Killa to win. 
**1/2

Post match, on his way to the back, Homicide grabs the camera and says Corino is a pussy motherfucker and that’s a shoot. 

Match #4: Second City Saints (Cabana/Steel) vs. Jimmy Jacobs/Alex Shelley
Another WCWSN style match where the newer guys get some shine but it’s mostly a showcase for the Saints. It’s a bit dull in the parts that don’t have Shelley and Jacobs doing neat stuff but it’s not awful. Colt and Ace don’t seem to have a ton of chemistry as a team, so this just sort of is what it is. The Saints get the win when they hit the Colt 46 on Shelley.
**

Match #5: Justin Credible vs. Matt Stryker
I mean whatever. Credible worked the role of a low card territory heel well. Did cheap bullshit, yelled at the crowd a lot, etc. He plays a lot of the bits he had from his ECW run except who cares? Nobody cared then they definitely don’t care now, even with Credible blading for this random throwaway match. Stryker gets to not only kick out of That’s Incredible, but he gets to kick out at one and that crowd liked that. Soon thereafter, Stryker gets the win with a Death Valley driver. 
*3/4

Intermission time. Outside, GMC isn't here so Les Thatcher is filling in since he’s local. He interviews The Prophecy and Cornette. Daniels says every time ROH thinks they have the card stacked against them, he pulls out another Ace and that Ace is James E Cornette. Daniels says that they never forgot about the tag titles, and just how long did AJ and Red think they could parade THEIR belts around? Their title reign has been long enough, and it ends tonight! To suit that end, he got the greatest mind in tag team wrestling. Cornette says he's heard about ROH and how it's the big new thing. He says there will be no other tag team of importance then they're done. He tells Maff to get rid of Les so they can talk, and Maff yells at Les until he leaves, and Cornette says he has an idea and wants to talk about how the Midnights beat the RNRX for the belts back in the day. 

Elsewhere, Cabana and Steel are with “Lucy” filming them. They find Sabin and mock him for being the man of the future. Cabana says if he’s the man of the future then tell him how many chicks he’s going to be with tonight? Sabin says he doesn’t know, probably none. Cabana asks if he knows about the Field of Honor. Sabin says he was invited, but he doesn't know about him. Cabana is mad and says they have to find Rob and talk.

Out in the lobby, the SAT and Red are signing autographs for the fans, AND THE PROPHECY ATTACK THEM! They throw the SAT out of the side doors and hold them shut and Daniels wears out Red’s bad knee with a chair. Cornette calls them off and they leave. The SAT get back in and AJ runs out to help Red to the back and eventually to the hospital. 

Match #6: Michael Shane vs. Hotstuff Hernandez vs. Scoot Andrews vs. Slyk Wagner Brown [Four Corner Survival Match]
WHY?! Not only is this bad but it gets almost EIGHTEEN FUCKING MINUTES. Get out of here with this nonsense. Shane’s cooled off I don’t even know why he’s back. Hernandez can’t do solo stuff like this yet. Scoot stinks no clue why he’s back. And this Slyk Wagner Brown dude sucks something BAD. Just a rotten terrible match. This whole show has been trash. Shane hits an Implant DDT to win but who cares?
3/4*

It was announced by Gabe on commentary during that match that ROH officials are so angry with Daniels that as punishment, his #1 contenders trophy match next month will now be against his stablemate, the recently returned Xavier. Doesn’t seem like much of a punishment. 

Match #7: Slim J vs. Jimmy Rave
Crowd is completely dead as that last match sucked all the air out of the room. I dunno if Gabe is solely responsible for booking these shows with RF still around, but whoever is should be thrown down a medium sized flight of steps. It’s very McMahonistic to constantly stick with or go back to guys that just kill the fucking crowd and aren’t any good, but because you like to pound off to them and what you THINK is “pure wrestling style”, you still stick with them regardless. It honestly shocks me that out of spite and based off his post dated commentary reactions to the two incidents that Gabe didn’t immediately book Konnan vs. Jeff Hardy to really stick it to the fans. 

Oh that’s right, there’s a match! My bad. This was alright but it was heatless. Slim J had a fun moment where he couldn’t get one over on Rave, so he yelled “LOOK! HOOKERS!” and pointed off in the distance, which got the ref distracted and allowed him to low blow Rave. Then it just becomes a flippy, divey, head-droppy 2000’s indie match which isn’t without its charm. Rave gets his first ROH win with a crossface submission on Slim.
*3/4

Match #8: Samoa Joe (c) vs. BJ Whitmer [ROH World Championship]
This is Whitmer’s hometown so they’re planning on BJ being over. He’s also got a face injury and is wearing a protective mask. Naturally, that becomes Joe’s area of focus. I haven’t been too thrilled with Joe’s reign thus far. He isn’t given a ton of time in these defenses, and he’s also not getting the best opponents just yet. The ROH Title has felt like a midcard belt ever since Ki lost it and hopefully that changes soon. This was indeed better than I expected but not by much. Joe goes after the face and Whitmer eventually ditches the mask as it becomes an impairment but that leaves him open to brutal shots by Joe including his now standard running facewash on the floor. Joe does a huge beatdown and it’s kind of funny because BJ really has done nothing to get over in ROH, he’s not all that interesting or compelling to watch, and even with this being his hometown title shot and commentary screaming that his friends and family are here, apparently none of them care about BJ enough to give a damn when he’s getting beaten down. Or even when he makes his comeback for that matter. On said comeback, BJ does his All Japan tribute act but it’s not enough to put Joe away. Joe does the Dragon Suplex on BJ to end it but BJ survived it. So Joe then pulls out the Bridging Chimera Suplex to get the win and retain.
**3/4

Backstage, Cabana and Ace with “Lucy” filming continue to try and find convicted sex offender Rob Feinstein. In what may be one of the most unfortunate incidental bits in recent memory, Colt says “hey he probably knows where Feinstein is” and the camera pans to some like 10 year old kid. The kid says he hasn’t seen Feinstein yet and Colt seems to find that odd.

Anyway, Colt and Steel then run into Nigel. Nigel greets them, and Colt yells very loud and slow “DO YOU KNOW WHAT THE FIELD OF HONOR IS?” Nigel is confused so Colt assumes he doesn’t know English. Then they come across Dunn and Marcos. Colt yells NEEEEEERDS. Cabana then makes references to the Revenge of the Nerds movies. Man, how did we ever find this dude funny. Marcos says they better watch out, because they'll rock them like a hurricane. They throw up metal horns and Ace asks if they're Jerry Lynn's kids? Now see THAT was funny. Cabana says their hair and music sucks, they're geeks, and he needs to find out about the Field of Honor. The only field they know about is a uh, a force field around them, cause they SUCK and everyone says how much they SUCK and nobody wants to be around them, so there's like a force field around them. Everyone looks at him like he's an idiot so he yells SECOND CITY SAINTS RULE and leaves. Whatever. 

Main event time. Cornette is out with the Prophecy. AJ comes out solo and is ready to fight alone, UNTIL HOMICIDE MAKES HIS WAY OUT TO TEAM WITH HIM SO HE CAN GET AT DAN MAFF!

Match #9: AJ Styles (c)/Homicide vs. The Prophecy (Daniels/Maff) [ROH Tag Team Championships]
Match of the night by default. This felt like such a fucking house show so I have no idea why they sold it as a show but whatever. Styles and Cide are super great at the fiery babyface stuff here. Daniels and Maff play their roles menacingly well. Cornette keeps looking shocked at some of the offense especially by the babyface team. The Prophecy continue to work MX offense but miss the Rocket Launcher at the end. Finish comes when AJ ducks a racket shot from Daniels and then hits the Styles Clash on him down onto the tennis racket for the win.
***

Post-match, Cornette offers handshakes to AJ and Homicide and blames the loss on Daniels. The face team leaves. Daniels & Maff confront Cornette and he yells back at them so they attack Cornette from behind to a face pop which is hilarious. Red then comes back out, no selling his own injury, to try and save with racket shots, but Maff chop blocks him. That was dumb. The crowd then chants for the SAT which is gross. Instead, SAMOA JOE RUNS OUT AND HE DRIVES DANIELS AND MAFF OUT! The Prophecy retreats and Joe helps Cornette up. Cornette sucks ROH’s dick some and Joe gets a standing ovation. 

What a lame show. And the result of the main is pointless too since Red’s knee injury was worse than they thought so the tag belts ultimately are vacated in the next few weeks. But whatever. 

Outside, Homicide and Julius Smokes are standing by. Homicide calls out Corino and tells him to stop ducking him and come back to Ring of Honor and fight him. Smokes chimes in telling Cide to ELEVATE YO HATE and tells Corino DON’T BE SCURRED LET THE GATES OF HELL OPEN ALL OVER THE ECW WAX MUSEUM. 

Elsewhere, Samoa Joe congratulates BJ on a hard fought match tonight. He admires that he worked his way up, earned the shot and fought like a champ. But he’s not the champ. Samoa Joe is. Joe says that he'll sacrifice ANYTHING to keep this ROH belt. He says it’s funny, because every time someone steps in the ring with him to try and take the belt, they have to ask themselves what they're willing to sacrifice? Paul London, knowing he had to head to the WWE the very next week, was willing to sacrifice his career. And it wasn't enough. Dan Maff, a day after putting his father in the ground, he sacrificed his emotions to try and get this. It still wasn't enough. Homicide admittedly almost had it, and he risked his life and almost broke his neck. It still was not enough. Who's next to make that sacrifice? Matt Stryker? Colt Cabana? CM Punk? He's got Punk non-title next week, so they'll find out (YES!). Low Ki? He got away from him the first time, because he got paid to hurt him, not beat him. He has no idea what he'll do to beat him. Christopher Daniels? He took away his friends and wants what's his. Would he sacrifice The Prophecy for this belt? He'll take everyone out to get to Daniels. WHAT ARE YOU WILLING TO SACRIFICE TO TAKE THIS? That's the question for ROH right now. BECAUSE HE IS SAMOA JOE. HE IS THE ROH WORLD CHAMPION. AND HE IS PRO WRESTLING. 

We FINALLY get a pretape from Steve Corino! Corino says he didn't think people could get any lower in ROH. The last time he was there, they sent gang members over the rail at him, because they don't know who he is? Like his safety doesn't matter? They don't stop at that, because they have Homicide, who's a great athlete but you'd never know that. That name has no marketability, he's an idiot! He needs to live his gimmick and keep calling him out. He's beaten him, he has nothing left to prove. That's why he hasn't come back! He says that Homicide needs his heat back, so he brings his son into it? Can we get any lower? (When did this happen?) He doesn't mention the 15 kids Homicide has. So does Homicide want to elevate the feud or increase ticket sales? He doesn't need ROH. HE NEVER HAS, BUT HOMICIDE DOES. He needs people saying how great he is. ROH fans don't matter. ROH does NOT matter. Japan does. But you know what? Sure. He'll be there August 16th, and he'll fight him in Fairfield, CT. He'll beat him one final time. But then he's done. He makes more money in Japan, and doesn't have to work as hard, so he's done with ROH. Corino says Homicide is great, everyone's right, but three or four years from now, when he's nothing, NOBODY WILL CARE ABOUT HIM. So was it worth it? He wants Cide to answer that in a week when he embarrasses him, blows him up, and makes him submit. Then, they're done for good. Then Cide can call him and apologize like a man, and then maybe he can help get him out of ROH and make him a real star.

And finally, the Saints, with “Lucy” still filming, finally find Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein. Cabana grills him about the Field of Honor, RF says it’s a tournament and confirms that Cabana is in it. Cabana says this is the best day in Chicago history. Cabana and Ace leave, but then suddenly, the camera drops and we hear a thud. A piece of paper is then dropped in front of the camera that says “RUST NEVER SLEEPS”. So someone has attacked Lucy and left behind a clue! Oh ok. 

Waste of a show. 

But the next show isn’t…

NEXT WEEK: DANIELS/XAVIER! LOW KI/MAFF! PUNK/JOE I! CORINO/HOMICIDE II! LET’S GO!

Hopefully next show pays off, because I gotta tell you, this is the coldest string of shows I've seen from ROH yet. Very disappointed with 2003 overall so far.

ROH: DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR - 7/19/2003

ROH: DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR

The RexPlex
Elizabeth, NJ
July 19th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 4 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 2 Defenses)

Backstage, Punk cuts a promo. He says that tonight isn't just the most important night of his career, but of his entire life. He'll have a ten foot chain connecting him to someone he doesn't respect, someone who's ruined lives, and someone no better than the dog fit for that same collar. He says that he’s beaten Raven time and time again and pinned him, and he’s giving Raven another chance tonight. Because this has gotten way too personal, and that's why this matters to his career. Three weeks ago, when Raven turned blue and when there was spit coming out of his mouth and when he couldn't breathe and when he saw his life flash before his eyes, he had what people who've been to rehab before call a “moment of clarity”. You see, there was a time when he was a kid and his dad came home from work and he was drunk, more than usual. He ends up passing out and falls asleep, and he threw up. Punk saw him turn blue too. He saw the life fade away. But just like with Raven at WrestleRave, he tipped his dad over and the vomit spilled from his mouth and he could breath again. AND HE HAS REGRETTED IT EVER SINCE! He couldn't do that to his father though. But he can't quite figure out why he spared Raven though and he regrets that he did. He is BETTER than Raven. How many lives has Raven ruined? How many people has Raven led down the road to debauchery? He exercises all of his demons tonight.

Colt Cabana comes in with the chain and says this is heavy. Punk stands up and shoves him hard up against the wall and says that's the last time he interrupts him. He says he’s sick of his tomfoolery and shenanigans, and if Ace was here, he'd slap him (or bite him), and Punk leaves.

Cabana almost follows, but then comes back to the camera. He says he's Colt Cabana. You might remember him from such videos as Do or Die, Revenge on the Prophecy, or the 1st Anniversary Show. A lot of people say he's so funny, that Cabana makes them laugh, like he's a modern day Dave Coulier. He's an entertainer, but there's a serious side. He has feelings. He cried during My Girl. Tonight, he has a four way with BJ Whitmer, Danny Maff, and Homicide, for the #1 Contender's Trophy. Just wait until the night is over, hell show you how serious he can be. And he’s going to put that trophy up on the Cabana Mantle next to the 1993 Deerfield Illinois Hopscotch Championship.

After the shitty opening video, SPECIAL K ARE BACK RAVING AROUND RINGSIDE AND IN THE CROWD. AND THEY’VE GROWN IN SIZE. Commentary come to “the desk” and say they’re confused because it’s 7:03 and the show doesn’t start til 7:30.

This is the biggest crowd ROH has had yet so this should be fun.

We go backstage where GMC is with Joe. GMC confirms London’s last night in ROH is tonight. Joe takes great offense to this notion that it’ll be a special night for London because every night is a special night for Samoa Joe, and this is HIS belt.

Back in the arena, Special K continues raving as the crowd files in more. Dixie steals Gabe’s sandwich.

Backstage, GMC is now with Homicide and Smokes and someone else. He wants to know what happened behind closed doors last month with Low Ki. They try to stay mum but get mad at GMC (because again I think GMC has been a heel this whole time) for forcing the issue. Homicide simply says Low Ki is doing Low Ki things and Homicide’s doing Homicide things. Smokes says all questions will be answered in due time, tell Low Ki that too. Then him and the other thug call GMC some words I can’t/won’t repeat.

Back in the arena and by commentary’s count, the Special K rave has been going on for almost 30 minutes now. Crowd is all in. Looks like a cool venue. Anyway. Stephen DeAngelis comes down to start the show but Special K won’t stop raving. One of them bends down behind DeAngelis and Hydro shoves DeAngelis down so he bails. The rave music stops and is replaced with disco music, and out come the CSC. They do their schtick, and then Special K attack them. They continue the rave but then THE LIGHTS GO OUT. AND IT’S LOW KI! HE’S BACK EARLY! Crowd is HOT. Ki says he didn’t come here to see dancing he came here for a FIGHT. 98% of Special K bails. Lit tries to make a step towards Ki and Ki bitch slaps him into unconsciousness. Cloudy is laughing and Ki starts to laugh with him before doing a double leg and trapping him in the Dragon Clutch til he passes out. Ki plays to the crowd and Deranged low blows him! And we’ve got an impromptu match.

Match #1: Low Ki vs. Deranged
Honestly this was a blast. Deranged kind of toyed with the now winded Ki and did some basic heel schtick that was funny enough. He worked the shoulder a bit. But Ki came back angry and just fucking MURDERED the kid. I’m talking some of the nastiest sounding strikes ever, and everything landed. Just a real asshole type of squash that earned Ki his reputation but also like, kinda rules, sorry to say? Slugga comes back out and traps Ki, but KI GRABS HIS PENIS UNTIL HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES AND PASSES OUT! He then wraps the match with Deranged up with a Ki Krusher and Dragon Clutch.
**

In a pretape from Japan, Chris Daniels is on the phone with Allison Danger who’s back in NJ for DBD. He tells her to offer “him” the spot and keep him posted on what he says. Daniels then addresses the camera. He says tonight is the biggest night in ROH's history in New Jersey, drawing 1200 fans. Congratulations, but the truth of the matter is that they never ever would have gotten here without Christopher Daniels. They have only capitalized on his efforts on the ring. ROH was built on his shoulders, but he's not there tonight. He's in Japan, working for the King of Sports. He's getting updates, and he hears Low Ki is back. He's been a thorn in his side since the beginning. He got rid of Steve Corino by allying himself to those closest to him, and Danny Maff is the same thing in his war against Low Ki. Danny Maff will become #1 Contender tonight, but if he doesn't, he's taking a shot at the #1 Contender's Trophy when he gets back. He then promises to talk to them later.

An ad airs hyping up FIELD OF HONOR starting soon. No idea what it is but I’ve been told I’m going to hate it.

Match #2: Matt Stryker vs. Jimmy Rave
Best Stryker match in a while because it wasn’t something where he’s forced to go 15-20 with another super bland dude. Rave is a more dynamic wrestler than Stryker, and there’s a bit of a styles clash here no pun intended, but it kinda works. Rave has some control of this when they’re on their feet and he tries to keep avoiding the mat. Hubris gets the best of him though. He traps Stryker in a decent crossface but Stryker breaks the hold and hits a Death Valley Driver to win.
**1/4

Match #3: Carnage Crew (DeVito, Loc, Credible & Masada) vs. TWA (Hernandez, Fast Eddie, Don Juan & Rudy Boy) [Weapons Match]
This absolutely whooped ass again. It starts off kind of sloppy and meandering but pretty early on, Credible and Rudy Boy brawl into the crowd and out of sight. Gabe keeps saying they’re brawling in the lobby then the parking lot and eventually says Credible was injured. We never see it. But them being gone helps the other six just fucking go at it and MURDER one another. At one point, Masada gets Fast Eddie up top and:

And later, Don Juan takes DeVito to the apron and:

It’s just crazy spot after crazy spot. I could literally Gif the whole match. They superplex Fast Eddie from the tippy top of a ladder. DeVito gets suplexed over the ropes onto a ladder bridge but he’s spiked head first into it. Hernandez lifts Fast Eddie at one point and they try to recreate the Pittsburgh spot where he Border Toss’d him over the corner into the aisle on top of the crew, but Hernandez tries it with like a body slam this time. He ends up shorting it and Fast Eddie lands so hard on the ground, the thud legitimately turned my stomach. It’s like the sound you think would happen when someone jumps out of a building and falls to the ground and dies. Hernandez does his big dive and that takes both him and Masada out. DeVito and Loc come back and grab Fast Eddie and hit the Rhino Driver 2000 (off the apron, through a table on the floor). But then Rudy Boy is back out and sets up chairs in the ring and Hernandez Border Tosses Masada through all of them and covers him to win. What the FUCK just happened these last 12 minutes?
***1/4

Match #4: The Purists (Mamaluke/Walters) vs. Outcast Killaz
Awful. This show was going so good too. Mamaluke and Walters debut as a team here and they’re dead from the start. You either need to get them in there with a good enough team that’ll make them look like stars, or they need to fucking squash these two goofs in the Outcast Killaz, who have been treated and booked just like that these last six months mind you. Instead! Gabe, in his infinite wisdom, makes this go TEN fucking minutes. Crowd is dead. I hate Gabe Sapolsky so much, man. I loathe him. Mamaluke/Walters win with a heel hook/leg full nelson combo.
1/2*

After both teams leave, Dunn & Marcos come out. Marcos gets the mic. They say tonight, the Killaz proved that they can never be what they are. THE TOP TAG TEAM IN ROH. BECAUSE THEY GOT ROCKED LIKE A HURRICANE. And then, this show goes from bad to fucking worse. Asshole Xavier comes out to make his return and clotheslines both of them down. He hits his shitty little Cobra Clutch Suplex on Dunn and the lame ass Kiss Your X Goodbye on Marcos. He gets on the mic and asks how you can have the greatest promotion in the country without him? Very easy! They just did for the last 3 months. And how can you have a tournament in the Field of Honor, supposed to be about the best, without the All Around Best? Nobody cares about that or you, dipshit. He says he is here to get what he's deserved all along, and that's some damn respect. He's back and better than ever. WOW, so you want from legendarily awful to just bad? Congrats bro. You fuck.

Match #5: Doug Williams vs. Tom Carter
This was whatever. The crowd feels substantially less hot after that last match and segment. They kind of just work a regular old match here. Exchanging holds building up to going move for move, nothing really sticking. Carter does some ok work on Williams arm. Doug’s selling is a bit choppy. Although at the end, he can’t use his arm to fully lock in for the Chaos Theory and Carter’s able to take him down by said arm and get a pretty bad looking pin to win. Whatever. Who cares. 
**

Post-match, Allison Danger comes out and again offers Carter a spot in the Prophecy. He already said no and he sucks so I don’t get why they’d want him but oh well. Luckily, Carter walks out on her, seemingly saying no again. And that’s fine. This is his last ROH appearance ever. What a strange ROH run. Missed the Anniversary show against Punk because of a car accident that Punk off handedly hinted at not being true. Came in and ditched the name and style that got him famous. Lost to Stryker. Missed another show because his wife was giving birth which okay that one’s fine. Then for some reason gets a clean win over a guy in Doug Williams who just a couple months ago seemed to be firmly fitting in as the #3/#4 guy in the promotion. And now he’s gone.

Match #6: Homicide vs. Colt Cabana vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Dan Maff [#1 Contd’rs Trophy Match]
There’s a lot of fun stories at play here. Cabana wanting to prove himself to Punk, Cabana vs. Maff to continue the simmering feud between the Prophecy/Saints, Homicide finally getting in the ring with Maff after the turn, BJ needing to break his string of bad luck. It’s a little slow at first but the back half of this moves almost as quick and as fun as the four way in West Mifflin back in January. The crowd is super hot for this, too, which is good considering they’d been fed shit the last few matches. A lot of great dives from all four, fun near falls too and what not and things of that nature, etc. Maff and Cide really start going at it, which gives Whitmer the opening he needs to put Cabana away with a super wrist clutch exploder to win and break his streak of bad luck.
***1/4

Post-match, BJ celebrates like a mad man with the trophy. Homicide and him shake hands, and they both shake with a downed Cabana. Maff gets in and teases shaking, but then bends down and spits on the ground Homicide stands on, flips off Whitmer, kicks a downed Cabana and leaves.

In Japan, Daniels gets his latest call with an update from Danger, and we hear that neither of them had any idea that Xavier was returning, and they seem concerned. Daniels hangs up and tells the camera man to start rolling (I’m getting really tired of this bit.) Daniels changes his tune to saying Xavier returning tonight was their plan all along. He also puts over Maff for an incredible effort but more so for disrespecting the code of honor. He says he’ll handle the #1 contenders trophy situation when he returns to America. He also warns Tom Carter to make a decision soon.

GMC is backstage with Low Ki and he welcomes him back. Ki cuts a very dry, non-human monologue while making direct eye contact with GMC and it’s SUPER off putting. Ki goes on again about Special K being disrespectful etc. He also teases a match with Maff and going back after the ROH Title. GMC tries to get info out of him about the locker room issue with Homicide and Smokes last show after being unsuccessful getting info out of Cide earlier, but GMC shuts him down on that as well and says that’s none of his concern.

A recap airs of the Special K beatdown on the Backseats and the ensuing rave last show.

Match #7: Special K (Angel Dust, Dixie, Hydro & Mikey Whipwreck) vs. The SAT & Backseat Boyz [Tag Scramble]
This was what it was. I don’t get why/how the SAT are still around. Special K botch a lot in this, maybe too much this time around as it stops serving as a gimmick attribute and starts just making it a bad match. These guys try the quadruple suplex spot and they fuck it up so bad. One of the SATs whiff on a superkick and accidentally hit Acid, which allows Mikey to hit Acid with the Whippersnapper to win.
*

Post-match, the Backseats are pissed so they beat down the SATs to a pop. Please be the end of these assholes the SATs.

Match #8: Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Matthews vs. Krazy K
This is a very famous, very bad match. Jeff had apparently reached out to ROH following his WWE release some weeks prior and was a fan of their shows so he asked to work a match. Something must’ve gone on, or maybe they just responded to the poor reaction it got, because there’s zero mention to hype this appearance up before this show or even during it, and that’s really not like ROH. We all know Jeff’s story by now. This is the peak of his first heavy foray into drugs/drinking/being a fuck up/refusing help, so it’s a lost cause and he’s pretty much useless sans a few TNA matches until his initial clean up so he could return to WWE in 2006 for his career defining run. Anyway. The match was awful. Hardy came out in his Willow the Wisp mask and a trench coat. A large portion of the male fans in attendance were showering him with “YOU GOT FIRED!”, “FUCK YOU JEFF” and “WE WANT MATT” chants, as this was also at the tail end of the peak of the Mattitude run. Hardy looks fucked up. Not like Victory Road 2011 fucked up, but probably fucked up enough that he shouldn’t be performing. At the same time while there’s a negative reaction, there’s also a large female contingent (which is super rare for an indie show back then) that seem to have only come to this show because Jeff is here. I mean they’re vocal the entire time in support of Jeff. Whoever this Krazy K guy is, he sucks too. Would’ve probably been better to just make this Jeff vs Joey so Joey could try and lead Jeff through it. Jeff also works half the match in this ridiculous trench coat. They keep throwing Jeff out of the ring so they can try and work a normal match. Meanwhile, Gabe shows he destined for WWE dicksuckdom by saying the fans are being the weird ones for booing Jeff, and he spends his time on commentary putting Jeff over (which, incase you’ve never seen an ROH show, commentary was all done in post production days later, so this is clearly Gabe pouting about the fans loudly rejecting something he thought would rule). Mercifully, this isn’t that long. Hardy hits a decent enough Swanton on K to win. Good news for Konnan, as he doesn’t hold the distinction of worst ROH match ever anymore.
1/4*

A mostly comprehensive recap of the Punk/Raven feud airs.

NOTHING FROM NOWHERE, I’M NO ONE AT ALL.

RADIATE, RECOGNIZE ONE SILENT CALL.

AS WE AAAAAAALL FOOOORM OOOONE DAAAARK FLAAAAME.

Punk is out and gets a pretty big time feeling entrance. I don’t know if this is the first time Miseria Cantare was used, but it was the first time I truly noticed it. Punk has the mic and asks the fans how it feels to be in a building that doesn't sell alcohol and asks if everyone is okay not being drunk? Personally, he's doing great. He's doing so much better than everyone else here tonight, but they know that. They've done this before. These people were led down the wrong path, and he's not mad at them, he just feels sorry for them. Raven took them by the collar and led them down the road to ruin. Raven is just like his lousy drunk father and asks where being extreme ever got Raven. He says he saw someone who had to buy a ticket to get in probably and points out Danny Doring in the back of the building. He asks where he ever went and they find him in the crowd and he drinks a beer. Security sends him to the back and Punk tries to get security to let him pass but they won’t. Punk says that beer has never and will never touch his lips, therefore, he is better than him! He says he ends the misery tonight but Raven comes out. Punk bails from the ring and does some heel stalling shit. He asks Raven how many drinks he had today and says maybe they don’t even need to have this match. The crowd starts a CM PUSSY chant and to shut them up Punk gets in and gets chained up and it’s ON.

Match #9: CM Punk vs. Raven [Dog Collar Match]
This was everything you would want it to be. Brutal, violent, nasty and bloody. Punk bleeds a TON early. They have a fantastic brawl into the crowd and work around spots using the chain that comes across great. Raven controls a large portion of this early on when Punk was stalling and evading. But Punk’s comeback has him doing some real good heel work to both punish Raven and keep the crowd hot with this long segment + match + segment. They make their way back into the ring and Raven makes a fiery comeback while still selling like he’s out on his feet. He avoids a charge from Punk and it turns into a ref bump, but then Raven catches Punk to hit the Evenflow, BUT THERE’S NO REF! Colt Cabana runs out and attacks Raven, hitting him with a DDT on a chair. DANNY DORING NOW GETS TO HOP THE RAILING AND HE BEATS DOWN COLT AND CHASES HIM AWAY! But the damage is done, and Punk crawls to cover Raven and win!
***1/2

Post-match, Punk grabs medical tape and, with Raven standing on the floor, he tapes Raven’s arms out in a crucifix position on the bottom rope. He grabs a mic and something we can’t see yet and brags about the win, and says it’s back to irrelevancy for Raven, but before he gets there, there’s gonna be a quick stop at rehab. He then reveals the beer in his hand and pours it from the ring down onto Raven. BUT THEN TOMMY DREAMER COMES IN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A CHAIR! AND HE’S IN A HOOTERS BASEBALL JERSEY. Punk turns and Dreamer WALLOPS him with a steel chair and then a DDT. Then Dreamer ties Punk into a crucifix position on the ropes. He then goes and frees Raven, and TOMMY AND RAVEN HUG, CONTINUING WHERE THEY LEFT OFF IN ECW 2000. Raven grabs a mic and welcomes Punk to the dark side, and says he IS his father, Luke. Raven says what just happened doesn’t matter, he was never that good at staying on the wagon anyways. But he asks if Punk’s never even tried a beer before? Punk yells don’t you FUCKING dare. Raven punches him to shut him up, and Tommy opens up another beer Sandman style to a big pop, AND RAVEN POURS THE BEER DOWN PUNK’S THROAT! AND THEN ANOTHER! Raven & Tommy celebrate to “Man in the Box” and they leave. Punk eventually frees himself and he immediately beats up the two referees for not helping and even shoves the camera man down. Incredible stuff.

In the back, Paul London cuts an overly long promo about this being his last night and highlighting some of his favorite moments, and says no matter what he goes on to do, even if it’s wrestling in stadiums or large dome arenas, he’ll never forget what ROH has given him and he thanks everyone.

And this is a reminder that despite being with the company for the majority of the 2000’s, being a former Cruiserweight Champion, a multi time tag champion, AND being (at least at the time) part of the second longest reigning tag champs in company history, SOMEHOW, Paul London never appeared on WrestleMania.

A recap of the last two AJ/Red vs. Briscoes matches air. Matches that AJ/Red won clean and decisively, so while I have zero issue with these two teams facing off in what will assuredly be a fantastic match, creatively I’m not sure I get why this is happening. Gabe does mention on commentary that a stip was added where if Red/Styles win, the Briscoes won’t get another shot while they’re champs, and if the Briscoes win, they are not required to give AJ/Red a rematch. So then this seems like a prime set up to turn the Briscoes heel and have them win?

This is also apparently the end of Red really being relevant. He’s got a bad knee injury that he takes time off for but never gets the surgery on, and it ends up hampering the rest of his career. Damn shame.

Match #10: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (c) vs. The Briscoes [ROH Tag Team Championship]
They get more time than I thought they would considering the injury, and the injury is brought up on commentary. I have to hand it to Red for committing to the bit of just being unable to sell anything but exhaustion, because the Briscoes work the bad knee, Red is legit hurt, and he still doesn’t sell it. Fantastic commitment. I liked the evolution of the story in these three matches as the Briscoes discovered themselves as a team and really began to develop. The first match they came across inexperienced and unbalanced, the second match they knew just a bit more and came close to winning, and in this match they dominate and are extra violent with Red especially, so logically, this should be where they’ve figured it out and beat the champs? Plus it gives Red time off? Right? Right? Welp. Red cuts off the Jay Driller attempt on AJ with a Climbing Wizard and then AJ hits Jay with the Styles Clash to win and retain. lmao. Match was good but far inferior to the first two matches they had.
**3/4

Another pretape airs from Cornette. But fuck him I’m not recapping it. It’s like the same thing he said last show anyway except he says he’ll be at ROH’s debut in Dayton, OH on 8/9.

A recap airs of the last few months for both London and Joe.

Big entrances and big introductions. London is emotional during his and he even gets the streamers!

Right before the bell rings, some fan yells something nasty towards London signing with WWE and the crowd boo’s him out of existence.

Match #11: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Paul London [ROH World Championship]
London controls the flow of this match. Instead of focusing on a body part or building up to something like he did with Danielson and Styles, he actively tries to go for the flash pins to beat Joe as this seems to be a sure fire way to get the job done if you can catch him. But since he does that in lieu of any real body work, Joe doesn’t get worn down enough despite all the MOVEZ~ and once he catches London, he makes him pay dearly. Great, great brutal shit from Joe. The strikes are especially great, and he even gets in his now commonplace running facewash while seated on the outside. London does mount a comeback and again tries the roll ups. He eventually hits the London Star Press, but it’s not enough to get the job done. He does a good job at avoiding the Choke, and then even fighting against it once Joe locks it in, but he eventually can’t fight it anymore and Joe chokes him out to retain.
***

Post-match, London gets the big goodbye ceremony. A large majority of the roster and staff come into the ring to parade him around and the crowd cheers. He gives a speech and what not. Rudy Boy is there. Everyone leaves to give him his moment as he waves goodbye and kisses the logo on the mat.

Backstage, Raven is standing behind a chain link fence. He says he finds it ironic that for 2.5 years, Tommy Dreamer could not pin him no matter what he did, and now he’s suffering the same fate against CM Punk. He’s faced him four times and he’s been beaten four times. And the outside help and interference is no excuse for him. He did get some revenge tonight when he poured that beer down Punk’s throat, the first time beer ever touched his lips. That’s how the addiction all starts, and that amuses him. Paybacks are hell, and speaking of hell, Punk has not suffered enough. He’s an arrogant piece of SHIT. So he wants Punk inside of a steel cage. He will have his victory. He promises that. He will beat CM Punk inside of a steel cage if he has the sack to face him. Welcome to Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun. Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.

Out in the Rexplex as the ring is being taken apart, the Carnage Crew talk about a 4th of July BBQ that was at Loc’s house. The chicken was good but their wives sucked, etc. Credible asks Loc if his wife is easy and DeVito says of course she is. They say the best part of the party is when they left to go to the nudie bar. Hell yeah. They brag about the weapons match tonight, not caring they lost, etc. you know, play the hits. They bring misery into other lives just like they have it every day. With their ugly wives and nagging kids. Loc says there's some other kids around here with no respect who get everything handed to them. Loc says he drives a 1985 Ford Escort and it has the hubcap held on with a coathanger type gimmick. These Special K kids get brand new BMW keys when they turn 16. That's no justice. Devito says they have issues with Special K. Mikey is a crippled old man, and Credible says he's seen some amazing athletes in ROH, but Special K is a damn joke. He then says the Carnage Crew has just become just incredible. NUDIE BAR. LET'S GO. This gimmick covers a very specific type of person that I know, that we all know, who mainly existed from the late 90s thru the early 2010s, but are definitely still around to this day. I can’t think of a word to describe it. It just simply is.

Christopher Daniels cuts a final pretape from Japan recapping the whole night. Lotta nothing happening here except he says when he returns to America he’s targeting the #1 contenders trophy and he will get the belt from Joe.

And lastly, Colt Cabana is in “the locker room” (it appears to be an office inside the Rexplex) with Punk, who’s got his head down. Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein comes in and really starts hassling them to try and get an interview to fill out the last of the tape. Cabana tries to tell him it’s not a good time. Feinstein finally mentions that Raven cut an interview where he’s challenged Punk to a cage match. Punk’s head shoots up and he shoves RF to the floor. He moves at him and RF crawls backwards. Punk asks if he saw what he did to him? If he thinks this is funny? He says he doesn’t care what Raven’s price is, how much it costs to bring him in, where it has to happen even if it’s on another planet, you make the fucking match happen. Nobody does that to him and gets away with it. Nobody.

That show was obnoxiously long. Took me three viewings to fully get through. Zero reason it has to be almost five hours on tape. Live in person? Sure. Whatever. On tape? Fuck off. Die.

Atsushi Onita vs. Terry Funk, FMW 5/5/93

This was the first ever exploding ring death match, and it took place in FMW. To be exact, it was a “No Rope Exploding Barbed Wire Time Bomb Death Match”.

Do you remember that episode of The Office, where Jim walks out of the bathroom to find Dwight and Angela kissing? And then it cuts to him back in the bathroom, with his face like this?:

Well, that was me for this entire fucking match.

Some quick back story: as far as I am aware, Junbo Tsuruta and Atsushi Onita were the first graduates of the All-Japan dojo. When they graduated, they each also went and trained with the Funks in Amarillo. So this match is essentially teacher vs. student.

I had heard about it for years upon years, but I just never sat down and really thought about watching it, until tonight that is.

I expected something pretty bloody but fun, but probably nothing to really write home about at the end of the day. One of those matches that just doesn’t live up to the hype when you’re seeing it for the first time almost 30 years later.

I thought wrong.

I have this bad habit lately of watching some wrestling at 1.5x speed. Mostly because I am trying to cram a lot of matches in to my very limited time during the work week, but also because there’s a lot of wrestling that can just drag a little bit, and the viewing becomes enhanced at a slightly faster speed. Tell me that I’m desecrating the game we love but I don’t care.

I couldn’t even think about switching the playback speed on this match from the moment the file started playing. Onita’s entrance to “Wild Thing” in a stadium full of raucous fans felt like this was a big box office attraction that was happening. Funk’s already at ringside, staring Onita down, and following his every step into the ring.

The referee is dressed like a safety scissors version of Shredder. His outfit comes into play later.

The match itself, meaning the bell to bell “work rate” if you will, isn’t really there. There’s a couple of times I laughed at Funk starting to do limb work and then quickly abandoning it. Whether that was on purpose or not, I don’t know, but it almost adds to the environment of these guys not really knowing what to expect in the match and falling back on traditional habits.

Onita’s the first to go into the exploding barbed wire, and the effects of the explosion mixed with the barbed wire menacingly piercing Onita’s back got a visceral reaction from me, which is hard to get. I am usually very emotionless when I watch things the very first time, always have been. When something gets a rise out of me upon my first viewing? I know it’s special.

Onita sells the effects of this tremendously well, and probably because it’s not really selling when you’re actually fucking hurting, I guess. They tease another spot with Funk dragging Onita by his hair to the other set of ropes, and Onita uses all of his might to overpower Funk slowly, and eventually Funk himself gets sent into it front first!

Funk begins doing what I can only describe as “Weekend At Bernie’s” style selling. Teetering back and fourth, almost falling frontwards but his balance resorts, only for the momentum to almost make him fall backwards, until he swings his arms wildly to even himself out. As over the top as it is, it adds so much to the tease of him going into the exploding barbed wire again.

Funk continues to do it after each strike Onita lands on him, and almost falls backwards into the next set of ropes. He teeters long enough that Onita goes to shove him, BUT FUNK WAS PLAYING POSSUM AND HE PULLS ONITA SO HARD INTO THE BARBED WIRE ROPES THAT THEY BREAK AND HE SPILLS TO THE FLOOR!

Now, when he gets up on the floor, he immediately looks at his one hand and holds it up, almost as if to show someone, anyone, that something was wrong. I rewinded it a few times and even played it on slow-mo, but the quality wasn’t great. Someone correct me if I’m wrong here, but — it looked like the tip of his index finger was hanging on by a thread. I mean, that shit looked like it was easily sawed 1/2 of the way off from the way he fell out of the barbed wire and to the floor.

But it doesn’t stop the sick bastard! He immediately goes back in and attacks Funk.

Suddenly — an alarm rings and a 5:00 countdown clock appears on the screen. I don’t have translations, but knowing what I know, it means in five minutes the whole place is going to blow up.

In a truly surreal scene, PEOPLE IN THE FRONT ROW RUSH AWAY. I LOVE IT.

Funk and Onita are now working against the clock, trying to throw the other into the last set of exploding barbed wire ropes and get this win before time expires. They work fast and start to not fully land things as panic mode sets in. The drama is UNREAL. Eventually, Onita is able to duck a shot from Funk and send him into the last set of exploding barbed wire, and then pins him quick for the win!

But this isn’t over! There’s about 2:30 left on the clock! Funk IMMEDIATELY gets up and attacks Onita from behind. Funk undoes some of his wrist tape and begins trying to choke Onita out, wanting to leave him for dead in the ring that’s about to explode!

But the Safety Scissors Shredder referee comes back into play, trying to reason with Funk and pull him off of Onita! Funk shoves the ref down hard, so hard in fact, that his “metal” helmet goes flying off onto the canvas! Funk turns his attention now to wanting to hurt the referee, and that’s the only opening Onita needed to grab the loose “metal” helmet and WALLOP Funk across the head with it.

Funk goes down. There’s less than a minute left. Onita sends the referee under the ropes and out of the ring, ordering his young boys to take the ref to safety. Onita himself takes a second to recover, looks back at Funk, and leaves the ring. Funk is out, and he may be about to meet his maker!

But NO! Onita angrily slides back in to the ring, mounts Funk and begins frantically slapping the hell out of him to try and wake him up. Clock’s winding down. Funk’s starting to come to, but he’s really out of it. Onita doesn’t know what to do. Time is about to expire! ONITA LAYS ON TOP OF FUNK, THE CAMERA PULLS BACK, AND…

And in one of the absolute funniest and somehow coolest moments ever, we suddenly cut to slow-mo with the most “end of an 80’s action movie” music playing, as Onita helps Funk to his feet, coming out of the cloud of smoke, as the hero that saved the day. Fucking incredible.

Backstage after the match, in front of the press in the locker room, a tearful Funk tells Onita that this is not over, and there will be a next time. Onita reaches out to shake his mentor’s hand. Funk hesitates before telling Onita that he appreciates everything he did for him out there, he means that from the bottom of his heart, truly. But he cannot shake his hand, because he cannot lose to him.

Funk walks away as Onita stares at him, having suffered the true defeat of the night. Funk turns back and says next time, they play by teachers rules. He says Onita is used to barbed wire and the explosions. But next time, it’s in Funk’s territory, and he leaves.

The camera pans back and zooms in on Onita, with just this horrified expression and tears beginning to flow.

He takes a few moments in the locker room, talking softly to reporters before ultimately leaving the locker room and heading back outside, where fans are awaiting their hero with a fence in between them. The roar of the public is enough for Onita for now, as he lets out a celebratory yell.

This was a fucking movie and it was the best movie I’ve seen in quite sometime. It was something I plan on re-watching multiple times throughout the rest of my life.

I can’t in good conscience give this some kind of insane rating. I try not to go too overboard with rating death matches because as much as I absolutely love them, I can’t compare something like this to a traditional wrestling match. There was very little wrestling in this. It was an 80’s action b-movie from the camera shots, the drama of the match, the special effects down to the fucking score! It had a SCORE.

Watch this. Even if you don’t like death match wrestling, just trust me. If you’ve never seen this, you need to as soon as possible.

Sometimes, pro wrestling can be a truly magnificent art.

What’s best is that you really couldn’t do this match nowadays! Now, I know what you’re saying, AEW just did one 3 years ago this month.

And I stand by my sentiment: you can’t do this nowadays. AEW proved that. This was a spectacle, done by a company that was set up and specialized almost strictly for this type of event. I don’t know if any modern company could both pull it off AND pull it off well.

***1/2