ROH: REBORN - STAGE TWO 2004

Frontier Fieldhouse
Chicago Ridge, IL
April 24th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 13 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 6 Defenses)
ROH Pure Champion: Vacant (Since 4/24/2004 - 0 Defenses)

Out in the ring in the empty arena before the show, it’s time for another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING…starring Bryan Danielson! Danielson notes that the coward Joe clearly isn’t here yet so he’s taking this over to show proper wrestling technique and not the illegal maneuvers Samoa Joe employs. Danielson shows off different ways to do a wrist lock on a student but his lesson is interrupted when Homicide comes jogging into the arena and hops the guard rail. That was very funny to me I don’t know why. Like you could’ve just walked around it, it was open. I love him. Anyway, Cide mockingly says he’s looking for Joe and his burnt face but then notes he’s obviously not here and won’t be here either. But he’s very pissed off because he was screwed out of his title match last night so tonight, he wants a shot at Bryan so he can stay loose for his deserved rematch against Joe. Bryan’s confused so Homicide says to keep teaching his class. But then Cide immediately interrupts to show his own version of a wrist lock on the student, but then just forearms his fucking head off. Homicide says there ain’t gonna be no wrist locks tonight. Bryan assures him there will be worse than that because he’s never met someone who’s gonna stretch him the way he will (pause). Homicide says he’ll see him later tonight then. Before he leaves he looks towards the camera and tells Joe to rub some Vaseline on it. Bryan shakes his head disapprovingly.

Out in the main atrium, Dave Prazak and Matt Stryker are having one of those “before the camera goes on conversations” even though the camera is obviously on. Nigel McGuinness walks up and apologizes for interrupting but he just wants to shake Matt’s hand and thank him again for a great match last night, and he wishes him luck tonight. Nigel leaves and Dave tells the camera to start. Dave does a good job of putting Stryker and Joe over and notes that while Joe has not arrived to the building just yet, Stryker is entitled to his title match tonight. Stryker says some shit about targeting Joe’s legs as it’s his weakness and promises victory. The camera “goes off” and Stryker asks Dave if there’s been any word on if Joe is showing up or not, and Dave says nobody’s heard from him all day. Stryker is annoyed.

Backstage, Becky Bayless has camera time and again is making a plea for someone to help her in finding her Special K boys. But Jack Evans walks on and does a break dance routine in front of her, tells her she just got served, and then leaves. Hell yeah.  

Ace Steel and BJ Whitmer come out for their match. But before it starts, THE BRISCOES RUN OUT AND ATTACK ACE FROM BEHIND! They beat him down and then grab the mic and officially introduce themselves to Chicago. Crowd is loud and boos them. The Briscoes say they just made an example out of Ace and there ain’t no way they’re losing the belts in a shit hole like Chicago! Punk & Cabana run out now and brawl with the Briscoes, and the Briscoes bail to the floor. Cabana checks on Ace and Punk grabs a mic. Punk gets the mic and says this is his house and his ring and his wrestling and HIS hometown. They're not afraid of them and he brings ROH to his hometown. They're supposed to have another Chicago classic like Bret/Owen and Bret/Austin, but screw that, because he's come home to kick their asses. Punk turns to go check on Ace, BUT THE BRISCOES PULL PUNK TO THE FLOOR AND BEAT HIM DOWN! Cabana acts quick and hits a BEAUTIFUL Asai Moonsault to the floor. The two teams brawl to the back.

Back in the ring, BJ grabs a mic and says he came to Chicago to fight and he really doesn’t give a shit about what just happened he wants the match to still happen, unless Ace is too hurt to go on. A hurt Steel is helped up by the ref and he says to ring the bell!

I should note that this shows been on in the arena for just a few mins and this is already probably the hottest crowd they’ve had since DBD ‘03.

Match #1: BJ Whitmer vs. Ace Steel
Good and solid, and smart booking. Only went around 6-7 minutes, which works for what they’re doing, and there was a good mix of basic wrestling moves and brawling spots. Ace started off selling the neck pretty good (from the Briscoes attack) but kind of abandoned it and focused more on I guess exhaustion selling, which doesn’t really make sense. BJ wears him down quick, over powers him and hits the Wrist Clutch to win.
**1/2

Post match, BJ grabs a mic and says it looks like he’s proven single handedly this weekend that the Prophecy is better than the Saints, and he’s gonna end it right now. He does a stiff running kick to the side of Ace’s head, and then he grabs a chair and absolutely wallops Steel in the head with it.

Match #2: Justin Credible/Masada vs. Delirious/Shawn Davari
What in the fresh hell did I do to deserve this? This is bad. Credible again looks toasted, Masada is just not suited for a straight up wrestling match, Davari is bad, and Delirious is clunky here with nothing to really work off of, so fuck it. Masada beats Delirious with a fisherman buster backbreaker on the knee gimmick.
1/2*

Match #3: Chad Collyer vs. John Walters
This is alright, I guess. The least angry I’ve been during one of these Gabe style Pure division matches in a while. It’s not without its faults. It’s like for every good step forward they take, something comes along that sends them back to start. Collyer does good leg work, and Walters no sells it. They work faster and add some flavor, but then they fall into the usual traps of the super lame and indie-riffic pinning combination battle. It wills itself into averageness and honestly it could’ve been more. But who cares. They do the roll up sequence and it turns quick into Collyer getting the prawn hold pin to get the win. Alright.
**1/4

Match #4: Nigel McGuinness vs. Austin Aries vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Rocky Romero
I liked this a lot. Good debut showcase for Aries, a chance for Roc to show what he can do without his anchor, Rave continues to shine and Nigel, especially, gets to show out. I’d say he’s the star of this and it’s kind of obvious he’s going to win, although I was really holding out hope for Rave. The thing I liked the most about this is that it was such a change of pace from a usual ROH multi man match. There wasn’t many spots n’ flips and shit. There was focused work being done collectively, Rave’s arm got the brunt of it all by all 3. His selling was good and helped build to a logical finish. It was cool seeing an even more agile Roc than what I’m used to seeing in the 2020’s. His striking was fantastic too. Aries was the breakout. You forget just how smooth he was in everything he did because he’s a reprehensible piece of shit in real life. But god damn, his movement in transition, his speed and agility, everything just looks so polished. Wild this was somehow his first ROH show. End comes when Roc and Aries get into it, and Nigel takes Rave down and locks on his armbar to get the win.
***

Match #5: Bryan Danielson vs. Homicide
There’s a lot to unpack here, and I mean that in a good way. This match was very much about Homicide. He’s officially a heel now and there’s probably nobody better you have available to really help get that across. Because while the character of Bryan Danielson can be one nasty bastard of a bully, he’s also a great fired up white meat babyface when the situation calls for it, such as now. Homicide is angry and bitter during the whole match. He yells at the fans, he throws a fit around ringside and chucks a chair into the ring. And Bryan’s just the right type of prick to needle Homicide where it’s going to affect him the most. Bryan lures him into a lot of hold exchanges. Homicide will find an opening in transition and get one over on Bryan, but his bravado is short lived as each and every time, Bryan finds a way not only out of the hold but a way to one up Homicide. His anger grows and it causes him to make more mistakes that Bryan’s able to capitalize on. This is text book “the longer this goes on the more it favors X” style, because Homicide isn’t built for a long technical match like Bryan specializes in. Homicide finally has to work dirty enough to get one over on Bryan and take control, he focuses on his neck and even uses a chair on the outside to hurt the neck more. Cide then lines Bryan up against the guardrail and goes to punch his neck, but Bryan moves and Homicide punches the rail, and Bryan has yet again gotten one over on Homicide and immediately grabs the now hurt hand and begins slamming it over the guard rail. So good. Bryan sells the neck great, Homicide is selling his hand SO fucking good. He’s constantly shaking it and hitting it against his side and the mat, he’s wrapping and unwrapping the tape on his hand, anything to relieve the pressure from the injury. Even when Homicide takes control, he’s now handicapped, and it takes away his ability to do his Torture STF. The good thing for Cide though is that he got enough work in on Bryan’s neck to injure him, and in what feels like a big momentum shifter, Bryan can’t sustain the Cattle Mutilation. He tries to reposition and transition into another hold but it allows Homicide to stand and back Bryan into the corner. He actually sets up the Cop Killa for the first time in a long time Bryan gets out of it. Cide catches him quick but Bryan goes behind, so Cide has to pull the ref out of position which allows him to swing a leg back and low blow Bryan! Needing to capitalize quick, Cide winds up and DESTROYS Bryan with a nasty lariat and he gets the huge pinfall win.

This keeps Bryan super strong even in defeat, and it gives Homicide a big win with his new heel turn. Very well done on all accounts. I think it goes on a little bit too long but I can’t penalize it too much because these two, and especially Bryan, are capable of adding enough to a match of this length to keep it mostly fresh, whereas a lot of other guys on this roster that have been tasked with similar things have failed and resorted to repeating parts of the match 1, even 2 times in some cases. So it really comes down to just the fact that I have a bad attention span and a 30 minute match, regardless of quality, is going to take me at least 60 minutes to get through. But whatever. This was great.
****1/4

Backstage for intermission, Prazak and Stryker are still hanging out. Before they film, Jimmy Rave and Jack Evans both walk up separately and wish Stryker good luck tonight and they hope he wins. They roll film and Prazak intros everything before letting Stryker know that Samoa Joe has still not arrived, ROH has not recieved word from him as of yet, and there are preliminary discussions of awarding Stryker the title should Joe no-show. Stryker doesn’t want that at all, he says beating Joe is all a part of it. Chad Collyer walks up and stammers his way through a promo. I can’t recap it properly because it’s really bad and even Prazak and Stryker are confused by his wording, but the basic idea he tries to convey is that he’s beaten Stryker 3 times in 3 matches, Stryker has never beaten him, so if he beats Joe or gets awarded the belt, he can just hand it right over to him so he doesn’t have to get beat a fourth time. Stryker just laughs him off.

Match #6: Ricky Reyes vs. Danny Daniels
This was bad. Daniels isn’t good here and Ricky is one of those guys that just needs to be working in a tag team. It feels like ROH knew this was bad too because they manage to edit a large chunk of it out by inserting a BREAKING NEWS moment with Dave Prazak backstage saying that Samoa Joe has officially arrived to the building and Joe/Stryker will take place later tonight. We rejoin the match and whatever man. Who cares. Reyes wins with the body scissors dragon sleeper.
3/4*

Match #7: Jack Evans/Matt Sydal vs. Carnage Crew vs. Dunn & Marcos vs. Jimmy Jacobs/Alex Shelley
Fun mix of different styles but it wasn’t anything to necessarily write home about. Doesn’t mean it was bad just that I’ve seen a dozen matches like it so far in this project and probably will see another two dozen more. The big stand out here is Jack Evans, again, who just is able to do things no other human is doing, at least in 2004. I’m honestly shocked WWE never brought him in even for a cup of coffee, or why TNA didn’t use him more often and steadily. Specifically in this he hits another incredible looking Phoenix Splash and the 630 on to Jacobs, which is what gets his team a moderately big win.
**3/4

Post match, the code of honor is observed by all. Shelley and Jacobs are the last two in the ring. Jacobs is being helped up and Shelley keeps trying to offer him a handshake. And when Jacobs finally goes to accept it, Shelley kicks him in the face! Shelley wipes his hands clean and walks out on him.

Match #8: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Matt Stryker [ROH World Championship]
This feels like Stryker’s last shot at relevance and he blew it. This was going to be right around average no matter what because someone as great as Joe was doing all of the heavy lifting. He’s got his face bandaged from the fireball and he changes up his entire offensive move set to sell the effects of it. He doesn’t let this turn into a striking battle because he’s now got a major target on him, and he keeps this mat focused. And this is where you’d think Stryker would get a chance to excel and show he actually belongs as more than just one of Gabe’s hog riders. Instead, he never really focuses on leg work to Joe like he said he would at the start of the show, and Punk even calls him out for it on commentary. Some of the more vague stuff he tries doesn’t really come across as anything meaningful, as in, it’s all really loose and disconnected feeling. Stryker is very good at accidentally hiding that he doesn’t know how to work, because you’re left with the impression that he just did a lot but in reality, what did he ACTUALLY do? Joe finally turns up the volume and starts throwing bombs which really sells his desperation to get out of this match still champ and then as I was writing this last line he won with a Triangle Choke out of nowhere! I love that touch. He needed to get out, he couldn’t build up to his normal stuff, so just find something that works and finish it. Joe did more to put himself, the injury, Homicide and Stryker himself over than Stryker did just for himself. Joe’s performance alone gets this the rating it’s getting.
***ish

The camera follows an exasperated Joe to the back. As they get through the curtain, he turns towards the camera and grabs it and tells the camera man to find Homicide and have him meet him out back later so they can settle this.

Backstage, Alex Shelley is with the camera man and says he asked for this time for a reason and the camera pans down to see Jimmy Jacobs sitting there. Shelley insults him a bunch and says he might as well call himself backpack and he’s tired of carrying him. He says on 5/22 in Philly at Generation Next, he doesn’t need Jimmy hanging around.

Match #9: Briscoe Brothers (c) vs. Second City Saints (Punk/Cabana) [ROH Tag Team Championships]
The crowd was molten hot for this for obvious reasons with the Saints being de facto babyfaces. Punk really leaned in to the fun with Cabana and they pulled off a lot of goofy shit that was honestly a good time, my favorite being when they did a Billy Goat’s Curse and Camel Clutch combo that lifted Mark off the ground. It relies a little too much on big spots rather than working an actual match but it’s completely fine. I dunno man just not a lot to say here. It’s far from perfect but sometimes the best matches are the ones you can just sit back, relax and watch. The Briscoes do a lot of classic cheating and they’re quite good at it. The goofiness and big spots in general sort of add to it when you see things like Punk blocking a doomsday device while on Jay’s shoulders and just catching Mark to hit a power slam instead. Incredible. The Briscoes had Cabana disposed and work over Punk. They get him up top but Cabana’s back in to crotch Mark on the ropes. Punk has to then peel Jay off the top and send him flying down to the guard rail. He then grabs up Mark and hits an AWESOME looking Pepsi Plunge to win the match and the belts!
***1/2

Post match, before the Saints can even celebrate, BJ Whitmer rushes out and starts attacking them. But moments later, Ace Steel hobbles out with a steel chair and WALLOPS BJ with a disgusting chair shot to the head. The Saints all celebrate with the belts and Chicago.

Backstage later on, Samoa Joe is standing by the bathroom and Homicide is walking across the arena. They jaw at each other and then go into the bathroom to duke it out but Joe doesn’t let the camera man in. And then we hear loud noises coming from inside.

The Carnage Crew are elsewhere and they’re commiserating over the fact that this was a great weekend for ROH but not for the Crew. They vow to find out who disrespected them.

Back at the bathroom, we still hear loud noises coming from inside. This is lame.

Elsewhere, the camera is on Punk tight. He starts cutting a promo but within a few seconds a party horn hits him in the face from Colt and the camera pulls back to see all their friends, family and Becky Bayless celebrating and they serenade them with “We Are The Champions”. Punk ends with a callback by telling the camera “yeah my life’s a war”.

And back at the bathroom once more, the camera man gets antsy and enters the bathroom. Joe is laid out with blood on his face and his eyes rolled back in his head, and Homicide is in the fetal position with a big cut on his head, and the camera man screams for help. Just a really lame angle and the second time they’ve done it in just less than a year. Just get into a brawl and film it.

NEXT MONTH: ROUND ROBIN CHALLENGE III w/ THE SAINTS, BRISCOES & PROPHECY; SPANKY RETURNS TO ROH!

ROH: REBORN - STAGE ONE 2004

St. Paul, MN
April 23rd, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 12 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 6 Defenses)

 

As mentioned at the start of the previous review, there was another part of the Feinstein debacle that came out before this show here happened. Essentially, while ROH as a company cut ties with Feinstein heading into At Our Best, they were still using RF Video for distribution, which of course is run by Feinstein. This wasn’t exactly hidden as much as people not realizing it right away, and then when they put two and two together, shit really hit the fan.

In the aftermath, TNA immediately pulled Daniels, Styles and Lynn from any ROH dates for the foreseeable future. Daniels was supposed to return on this weekends shows to keep the feud with Punk going, Styles was Pure Champ, and now that title has been shelved indefinitely, and Lynn was supposed to stick around for a while. Daniels returns in the summer, Styles doesn’t return until *I think* the end of this year, and thankfully Jerry Lynn doesn’t return for like 4-5 years.

Raven was supposed to return to ROH here but that got shelved and I don’t think he ever makes another appearance with the company. No idea what the creative plans for him were supposed to be.

And CM Punk, who was under a deal with TNA, opted to stay with ROH over TNA, and he’s basically a made guy to the ROH fanbase (if he wasn’t already). As I understand it, this also started the somewhat low-laying beef between AJ/Punk that was last brought up by AJ this past WrestleMania XL weekend.

On paper, ROH is in a bad spot here. This probably would’ve killed a lot of other independent companies, but with this all happening, it ends up creating a ton of room at the top of the card, and Gabe fires off a number of absofuckinglutely right calls in a row that brings ROH into its golden era.

So as I said in the tweet to hype the last review, At Our Best felt like the end to Act One of ROH. And while these next few shows don’t exactly start Act Two, they serve as good connective tissue between the two eras to set everything up that is yet to come.

————————————————

To start the show, we got a pretape with Homicide. He’s pissed at Samoan Joe for attacking Smokes at the last show when he was just trying to deliver a message. Cide reminds Joe of what happened when they last met in the Fall, and says his days are number (for such a scary man his speech impediment is just adorable!). Ichiban, motherfucker.

Elsewhere, the Carnage Crew talk about how great it was to main event the last show. All their hard work paid off and when they got backstage it all went to shit LITERALLY. They’re really mad about someone pooping in their bags and they’re gonna find out who. They have Dunn & Marcos tonight and they like them, but, even if it wasn’t them who did this, they’re gonna get hurt like they were unless they can name names.

Out in the arena, it’s another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. Joe has two students with him and wants to talk about various chokes since he faces Homicide tonight and last time they faced he choked Joe out. Except Joe doesn’t need a noose to do it. Bryan Danielson interrupts and says he doesn’t think Joe has credentials to be teaching this class because chokes in professional wrestling are ILLEGAL. He shows what to really do, and pulls one of the students over and shows the proper way to do a front face lock and breaks it down well in a bit of a cool inside baseball moment. Joe steps up and says he’s got a big problem with Danielson and Danielson mentions how the last time they were in the ring together, Joe was too busy cheerleading to come and help him in the ring. Joe says that Bryan was the one who lost and that’s not his problem. Bryan says the next time he sees Joe in this ring, he dates Joe to put the belt on the line. Because the next time he sees Joe in this ring? He’s beating him for it.

Outside, Dunn & Marcos hype the crowd up.

Match #1: Nigel McGuinness vs. Matt Stryker
Obvious that Stryker isn’t going to lose here because he’s got that title shot against Joe on the next show. Whatever. Least offensive Stryker match in a long while. Nigel is good here. Nigel sells really the knee really well, but Stryker isn’t coordinated or focused enough to know how to capitalize on the gift Nigel is giving him here. Sure that could be because the majority of people Stryker’s worked with this past year are really bad. But I choose to think of it as Stryker being bad. As he is one of the most incomplete and incompetent wrestlers I’ve ever seen. Anyway, they get into a pinning combo exchange and Stryker gets the best when Nigel tries a bridge but his knee buckles. Good touch.
**

Backstage, Ricky Steamboat is here! And he’s giving off huge divorced dad energy with his pleather jacket and goatee. But I love him. Anyway. He says he’s signed on with ROH to oversee a series of matches that involve the Prophecy and the Saints. He says it reminds him one of his greatest, bloodiest most hardcore feuds…against Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji. Hahaha what. He says ROH has given him the call and he’s gonna make sure he maintains order.

Match #2: Carnage Crew vs. Dunn & Marcos
If ROH had a weekly tv show at this point, this is a perfect match for that. Unfortunately this is really just here to fill a hole in the card I’m sure with so many people no longer booked. And it’s fine. Goes on a little long but it’s fine. At one point, DeVito is beating the hell out of Dunn and he keeps yelling DID YOU SHIT IN OUR BAGS?! WHO DID IT?! Dunn & Marcos get a brief hope spot and a near fall but the Crew regroup and take Marcos out with a Carnage Driver to win.
**

Backstage, it’s time for another edition of GOOD TIMES GREAT MEMORIES. Colt comes on screen and has added a monologue to this bit. And it’s really bad. Like even by 2004 edgelord standards, it’s bad. He plugs the new ROHWrestling.com and then talks about ROH’s tag division growing. He mentions their newest signees the Havana Pitbulls and makes a bunch of really lame jokes. The Pitbulls walk on and are very serious and clearly very nervous but they power through. They’re not happy Colt’s making fun of them or their country. They say they’re here for one reason: to make money and to win the belts (this wasn’t a typo). They leave so Cabana calls on his emergency guest, Becky Bayless. Absolutely. She says she hasn’t been able to get in touch with any of the Special K members in weeks since the last show and she’s hoping her appearance on the show today will spread awareness. Colt then tricks her into various ways of showing off her boobies.

Match #3: Justin Credible vs. John Walters
VERY BAD. I’ve oft remarked in these reviews that while I find the entire “Pure” contingent Gabe’s brought in to be mostly abhorrent, Walters is usually the least offensive. That being said: no chance in hell he’s carrying a pilled up Justin Credible to anything even remotely decent. This match is remarkably bad and even at 9 minutes felt like it went 18. Walters escapes the THATS INCREDIBLE and gets Credible with a decent Lungblower to win.
*1/4

Match #4: Alex Shelley vs. Danny Daniels vs. Jack Evans vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Masada
This was a good time. There’s probably nothing to this, but to me, this felt like a rehearsal to see what newer guys from out on the scene could take ROH to the next step with all these openings now, and obviously four of them succeed in impressing. Everybody gets their shit in and it’s a good time at varying degrees. Obviously the main four are the ones who stand out but I didn’t think Daniels or Masada were terrible. But they definitely don’t fit the mold in ROH. They make sure to keep coming back to the Shelley/Jacobs friendship and they add tension to the relationship as both are really starting to stand out in ROH. Jacobs’ neck gets targeted through the match ending with an awesome package piledriver from Daniels. They then start one of the famous dive trains that builds to the crescendo of Jack taking everyone on the floor out with a Phoenix Splash in an incredible sight. Shelley is in the ring to do his dive but he looks and sees Jacobs still down on the mat from the move by Daniels, and instead of diving to the outside, HE LOCKS JACOBS IN THE BORDER CITY STRETCH TO GET THE WIN. YEAH!
***

Code of Honor observed by all and Shelley takes his victory lap around the ring. The camera follows him to the back, and as soon as he comes through the curtain he sees Jacobs sitting up against the wall holding his neck, and Shelley immediately starts holding his neck. He bends down and says he’ll take a knee since Jimmy can’t get up. He tells Jimmy not to be upset about losing to him, because he’s got TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD, even if HIS neck hurts him a bit but he can tough it out. He says on tomorrow nights show, they’re part of a tag team scramble, and he wants to know if Jimmy’s gonna be good to go? Because it would really upset him if he had to cut some excess baggage. Jacobs hesitates but looks up and says they’re good. Shelley is glad and stands up and throws a HUSS at Jacobs in a super mocking way. Jacobs does his own HUSS under his breath and Shelley hears him as he leaves but Jacobs says he didn’t say anything.

Two extremely exciting paths just started. Hell yeah.

Ricky Steamboat comes out in stripes to ref the Cabana/Whitmer match. Cabana’s music hits and he comes out with Punk. Now listen to me. I’m watching this really late at night so this was lost on me at first but when I realized what was going on, I legitimately cackled. It popped me. Cabana comes out with a cabbage patch doll and I’m like what the fuck is this goof doing now? This shits corny. And it wasn’t until he got in the lights of the ringside area and walked up to Steamboat I realized he was mocking the Ricky/Richie entrances from WWF & WCW in ‘88 and ‘89 respectively. That fucking got me. The Saints get into the ring and Colt DROPS THE BABY. It even pops Ricky. Good shit.

Punk gets on the microphone and says it's time to talk about past, present, and future. They have the past here in Ricky Steamboat, presently the greatest tag team in wrestling in the Second City Saints, and the future is tomorrow when they travel to a superior city (Chicago) to beat the Briscoes to become the new tag team champions. He says Christopher Daniels is gone, and he doesn't care what you read, it's because of HIM. The Prophecy is dead and tonight, one more member gets the nail driven into his cheap coffin, and he's talking about Hillbilly Jesus, BJ Whitmer. And when they leave Minnesota, just like the North Stars did, they'll go to a better city and he's never coming back.

BJ comes out for the match and him and Colt circle up, and just as Steamer gets in position, PUNK TRIPS HIM FROM THE FLOOR! HE PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING AND THROWS SOME PUNCHES BEFORE RUNNING STEAMER INTO THE POST! He yells that Steamboat should think twice before he fucking got one over on him, that was for what happened in Jersey! Officials come out and force Punk to the back. Three other refs come out. One gets into the ring to now call the match, and the other two tend to Steamboat. He wants to get back in the ring at first but the refs say he can’t so STEAMBOAT RUNS OFF TO BACK AFTER PUNK.

I *HATE* THAT I KNOW THEY NEVER HAVE A MATCH BUT THIS BUILD IS GREAT.

Match #5: Colt Cabana vs. BJ Whitmer
There’s no Maff or Danger this weekend and obviously no Daniels. If BJ wins this, he gets Ace Steel tomorrow night. One of my bigger criticisms with ROH is that they put the company philosophy over the actual booking constantly. And while that’s worked in most cases, other times it’s caused things to feel rather flat. The last time members of these two factions were in the same ring, they had a huge brawl. So realistically, especially with the enforcer/ref taken out at the start of the match, this should IMMEDIATELY break down into a brawling scenario. But it doesn’t. It starts as a normal wrestling match. I hate that. This DOES course correct because it spills into the crowd with some light weapon usage in the middle of the match, but then that pisses me off too because now it kills the ref and the promotions philosophy. If you’re gonna commit to a bit then commit to it.  But look at the end this is reason just for me to rant and fill space that nobody actually reads. So who cares, right? Yeah man. The match itself is pretty good. The brawl into the crowd did help pick things up a bit and added to the back and forth once they were both back in the ring. In a callback to DBD 2003, Whitmer catches Cabana up top quickly and hits a Super Wrist Clutch Exploder to win.
**1/2

Backstage, DAVE PRAZAK debuts and interviews Alex Shelley. He says Shelley was a part of a show stealing match earlier and he wanted to get his thoughts. Shelley puts over his each of his 5 opponents (but kinda doesn’t put over Jacobs) and says while they all have their strengths, he’s the best all around wrestler in that group. He says if anyone watching thought any different then they clearly weren’t thinking. He says that on 5/22 in the city of Philadelphia, ROH is holding a show called GENERATION NEXT. He says that due to “recent events” in ROH, the deck has been shuffled and everything is up for grabs. And HIS TIME will start on May 22nd.

LETS GO.

On a side note, while I’ve grown fond of GMC, PRAZAK is an immediate upgrade on literally anyone (with the exception of Punk) that’s held a mic or put on a headset since ROH has started.

Match #6: Matt Sydal vs. Delirious [Do or Die Match]
Daizee Haze is in Sydal’s corner. This is ROH debuts for both men. And a Do or Die match, as Gabe explained it, is if you look good and you win, you’re going to be entitled to more lucrative booking opportunities in ROH than if you don’t win. I know Sydal quite well, he’s on the borderline of being “one of my guys” if you will. I’ve never seen a Delirious match and the most I know about him is my friend Andy used him as an efed rep once, and when he eventually books ROH, I believe it is when a lot of my friends stopped watching the product (I could be wrong.) This was fun though. Sydal is definitely the better of the two but Delirious was better than I thought. Obviously the gimmick overtakes a lot of the work which is fine. Sydal looks so good. Clean, crisp offense, smooth movement with flips and quick transitions with holds. They battle to the top and Sydal gets the better of Delirious with the Sydal Special to win!
**3/4

Match #7: Briscoe Brothers vs. Havana Pitbulls [Non-Title Match]
The Pitbulls are the first really unique team that the Briscoes have gotten to face and it’s a perfect building block in the ever growing run of the evolution of the Briscoes. They spent the AJ/Red series learning how to become a team, they spent the Joe matches learning how to perfect it, and now in a match like this, they’re getting a chance to use all that they’ve naturally learned against an international team that’s unlike any team they’ve faced yet. On top of that, they’re the first ACTUAL team they’ve faced in a while, especially one at this level, so it adds another wrinkle into this. And what’s great is that while the Briscoes control this early, they’re not getting the partner breakdowns in communication like they’d have with past opponents, they’re operating against a far more well oiled machine than they are. And it frustrates them so they have to resort to just throwing bombs in order to regain control AND keep it. Again, this is shown perfectly with the finish because in the first meeting between two teams in a non-feud (as of now), the Briscoes have to resort to a Spike Jay Driller on Reyes to get the win. Loved everything about this except maybe the run time, went on a little long, but I figured some much had to because the first half of this show had a lot of shorter, sub-11/12 minute matches.
***1/2

Punk comes out first, then Bryan with a shirt that says “I MUST BREAK YOU”. They’re about to start, BUT STEAMBOAT COMES BACK OUT. He grabs  mic and says ROH paid him to come here and referee a match and since that opportunity was taken from him earlier tonight, he’s here to ask the crowd if they want him to referee this match. They all go nuts. Steamer asks Bryan if it’s okay with him and he says it is. Punk is flipping out as the original ref agrees and Steamer is now in charge! Steamboat checks Bryan and then goes to check Punk, who refuses at first, but then is drawn out to the center of the ring by Steamer. Ricky then METICULOUSLY checks Punk to piss him off. Punk mouths off so Steamer grabs a mic and asks him what he said. Punk laughs and says that he’s old and broken down and he’s just a referee. Steamer comes back at him with “well this referee is gonna be up your ass all night”. HELL YEAH.

Match #8: CM Punk vs. Bryan Danielson
This is chronologically speaking their first encounter ever but obviously I’ve seen them wrestle before in both WWE and at the TPI which happens later in this year. The TPI match was decent but left me feeling kind of wanting for more, which made sense because it was on night two of a big tournament. This is better than that, however, it still left me wanting for more. I wouldn’t call this a total house show effort but there’s points early on where it really feels like it. Like they do some real 1980’s WWF stuff like trying to get bigger reactions than each other from the crowd and Punk stooging around to get heat. Punk picks things up and tries getting his shit head heel stuff in like he did in his last few Pure matches but Danielson’s able to catch that pretty early. What’s more, Danielson then returns the favor ten fold to show Punk he can go that route too if desired, so it sort of forces Punk to work honest on top of him already having to deal with Steamboat there as ref. Once this gets to the mat is when it really picks up. Danielson chooses to work Punk’s entire body over rather than focus on one body part, and it’s a sound strategy because it forces Punk to over exert himself in defense thus costing him offensively, i.e. he starts throwing that winded, defensive offense, if you will. Punk does make a valiant comeback but he keeps having to deal with the idea of Steamboat keeping him in check, and Bryan’s able to surprise him with a beautiful mid air drop kick. Bryan gets him with a quick Dragon Suplex but Punk kicks out. They roll around exchanging holds out of the pin until Danielson traps Punk in a gruesome looking sit-out abdominal stretch, forcing Punk to tap out! Again, this is better than their match at the TPI, and is a good match overall, but I wouldn’t call it great. I know their WWE stuff is better, and I’m going to be checking out their FIP stuff as well, as this is their one and only meeting in ROH, which is insane to think about.
***1/2

Post match, Punk begrudgingly shakes Danielson’s hand and he leaves. Steamboat goes to leave but Punk pulls him back in to yell at him, and he says he didn’t tap he was just scratching himself. They get into a heated argument with Steamboat being really animated to show the frustration boiling over, which is a great touch. But this all proves just to be a distraction as Colt Cabana runs out and attacks Steamboat from behind! Punk & Cabana take turns beating him down and Punk hits a little rope a dope action on him. But the Briscoes run out after what feels like an eternity to make the save and the Saints bail out. We’re reminded the Saints challenge the Briscoes for the belts in Chicago tomorrow night (thanks to Bobby Heenan, but…). Good stuff.

During the introductions for the main event, the crowd does the streamers, and Homicide goes out of his way to kick and punch the streamers and push them out of the ring as a sign of disrespect.

Match #9: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Homicide [ROH World Championship]
Listen, on paper, I should love this match anytime it happens. Like it makes too much sense that I should be rating almost all over their matches off the charts but I don’t know what it is, these two are probably in my top 25 of all time (with Joe being substantially higher), but their matches in ROH thus far just haven’t quite hit for me yet. They’re objectively good, just disappointing. It’s like they work a somewhat similar style, two stiff bruisers, but Joe’s just a level above Homicide so it’s like yeah anytime Homicide has this kind of match with almost anyone else on this roster, it slaps. But because Joe’s just so much better than him at it, it’s like maybe Homicide just struggles to keep up. I dunno. It doesn’t matter anyway because this is clearly happening for the angle. The story in this is that Homicide is quick and ruthless, he stays on top of Joe with everything and he tries numerous times to get Joe with surprise pins, which have proven to be his weakness. Joe is able to overpower and out-hit Homicide but Cide is resilient more than ever here. They do a callback to Glory by Honor II when Homicide sidesteps the knee strike combo and gets Joe with a surprise roll up, putting ALL of his weight on Joe in the pin, AND THE REF COUNTS THREE AND THE BELL RINGS…BUT…THE REFS HAND DIDN’T HIT THE MAT FOR THREE BEFORE JOE GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! Joe immediately sits up to protest but the ref is on his side. Homicide starts celebrating around the ring and raising his arms but the ref is FRANTICALLY trying to tell him what’s up. Homicide is beside himself and refusing to believe it, constantly belaboring his point to the ref by raising his arm. The ref really has to step up and get in Homicide’s face about the non-decision, SO A FRUSTRATED HOMICIDE DECKS THE REF AND THAT MATCH IS THROWN OUT!
***1/2

Post-match, Samoa Joe is back up and he attacks Homicide immediately! He kicks him down to the mat and goes to move in for the kill. BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT —

IN AN EXTREMELY COOL VISUAL, HOMICIDE THROWS A FIREBALL AT SAMOA JOE IN THE DARK!

The lights shoot back on and Gabe is yelling WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS? Referees run out to tend to Joe, BUT HOMICIDE ATTACKS THEM! AND THEN HE ATTACKS THE YOUNG BOYS THAT COME OUT TO HELP TOO! HE’S NOT LETTING ANYONE TEND TO JOE’S BURNS!

The locker room clears out, led by the Briscoes, and they tackle Homicide down and force him out of the ring and to the floor while medics tend to Joe. Homicide is being pulled to the back and raising Hell. Punk, who’s on “commentary”, says he’ll be right back because he sees the Briscoes down there, so he “leaves commentary”.

And within seconds, the group holding Homicide back is broken apart by PUNK AND CABANA RUNNING OUT TO BRAWL WITH THE BRISCOES! All Hell has broken loose and the two teams are now brawling around ringside. MARK GOES UP TOP AND HITS AN SSP OUT ONTO ALL OF THEM!

The entire roster is now split between holding Homicide back and trying to keep the Saints and Briscoes apart. AND NOW CABANA HITS HIS ASAI MOONSAULT ON TO EVERYONE!

AND THEN DUNN & MARCOS BREAK FROM THE PACK IN THE AISLE WHEN THEY SEE THE CARNAGE CREW DOWN AT RINGSIDE TRYING TO KEEP THE OTHEE TWO TEAMS APART, SO DUNN AND MARCOS STAGE DIVE ON TO EVERYONE.

AND NOW JACK EVANS JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN SO HE HITS A SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO THE ENTIRE PILE!

THIS IS INSANE.

The whole ringside area is brawling now. Punk & Cabana have to slide into the ring just to break free. AND NOW, STEAMBOAT RUNS BACK OUT TO GET INVOLVED! He attacks both Saints with big chops and the arm drags and the crowd EATS it up! The Saints end up retreating and the Briscoes join Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat raises both of their arms as Punk flips out. Mark looks in the camera and warns the Saints to get ready for Chicago tomorrow.

Wow. What a show. Not the strongest in ring stuff but the stories/angles are up there with some of the best the company has ever done up to this point. The main event post match, especially, is incredible and is probably only #2 to the Queens Riot at the 1YA. So much to look forward to coming out of this. I’m pumped.

TOMORROW: WILL STRYKER STILL GET HIS TITLE SHOT AGAINST JOE?; BRYAN/HOMICIDE; SAINTS/BRISCOES FOR THE BELTS!

ROH: AT OUR BEST 2004

RexPlex
Elizabeth, NJ
March 13th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 13 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 6 Defenses)
ROH Pure Champion: AJ Styles (Since 2/14/2004 - 0 Defenses)

So let’s get this out of the way, especially since I’ve made a reference to it in almost every review I’ve done on this site for ROH.

Rob Feinstein is a sex offender.

A little over a week before this show on 3/4, Rob Feinstein was caught by the show “Perverted Justice”, a product of its time in the era of the extreme popularity of Dateline’s “To Catch A Predator”, and in their investigation they found that Feinstein had attempted to solicit sex with underage boys on AOL/AIM.

ROH, as a company, cuts ties with Feinstein immediately. Cary Silkin steps in to buy ROH, and Gabe has full control of the pencil (even though he mostly had that in recent months anyway).

To save face, a lot of people pulled out of this show. Low Ki was scheduled for a match, Abyss was supposed to come in, Heenan was supposed to do something with the Saints, and Cornette was going to be in Jay Briscoe’s corner. Now, after literally just returning, Ki is gone again for 3-4 months, Abyss doesn’t appear at all until the Summer of 2005, and Heenan’s appearance is delayed, and  *think* Cornette is done until like late 05 or early 06.

This scandal doesn’t end here. Something more happens between this show and the next one that causes some major exits. We’ll get to that on the next show, however.

On with the show…

We start with another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. He has a bunch of the trainees of the ROH Academy with him in the ring. Joe shits on the Pure Title more and even the idea of that title insults him since there’s only one worthy singles championship in ROH and it’s the one he’s holding. He demonstrates on one of the trainees what he would do to some of these so called Purists if they got into the ring with him. He brutalizes them and chokes them out, etc etc. Kind of a nothing segment tbh.

Footage from the fan convention before the show where Dusty Rhodes is signing autographs, AND OX BAKER SHOWS UP TO YELL AT DUSTY! HELL YEAH. He tells Dusty that he did NOT run him out of Florida and he’s tired of him having said that the last 30 years. Ox starts following Dusty around the convention so eventually Dusty gets into the ring and dares him to come in. Security “holds” Ox back and Dusty gets on the mic. Dusty says VKM called him and said to come up this way for WrestleMania, but he came to the Ring of Honor instead, and that other place can kiss his ass, baby. He says Ox Baker is an old codger but he’s picked a mighty fine day to get his ass kicked if he’s got the gumption. Baker eventually waves him off and leaves.

FLORIDA BELONGS TO OX BAKER.

YOU WILL HATE ME.

Elsewhere, Suga Sean Price sees Julius Smokes arriving. He rushes up to asks Smokes if there’s any updates on Homicide’s whereabouts. Smokes says he knows Cide’s been silence of the lambs as of late but he kicked it with him, and if Price can get him some time in the ring tonight, he’s got a message to deliver on behalf of Homicide.

Match #1: Amazing Red vs. Jack Evans vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Mark Briscoe vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Teddy Hart
Red is back! But strangely, so is Teddy Hart? wtf. I thought he was banned for life after the Scramble Cage stuff but alright. The crowd is super hot for this, which helps, but I think they would’ve had the crowd no matter what because these guys pulled out all the stops. It was like someone had 6 CAWs whose entire movesets were finishers, just spammed over and over (non-derogatory). Everybody got a shot here to really look good, the match did such a good job in that regard. Red slowed down a bit post knee injury but he’s still good. He’s just not Red. Towards the end, Rave traps Dutt in a crippler crossface. Across the ring, like the LOOONG WAY, Teddy does a SSP that is just so far away from where it needs to be so he just lands on his feet and falls back hard and it was very funny. If he wasn’t a scumbag he’d be very funny. Slows down and becomes a bit too choreographed at the very end, which was weird. They started moving like they were in molasses and not like it was a PWG bit. Red hits Mark with some super kicks, then hits Dutt with the Beach Break and Red Star Press to get the win.
***ish

Backstage, Cabana & Ace are about to cut a promo but Punk walks up to interrupt them. He says he needs them hyper focused on the Prophecy and only the Prophecy tonight. No jokes, no bits, no talk shows. Colt says there is no talk show tonight because he’s out for blood against the Prophecy and Punk can count on him and Ace. Punk says he can always count on Ace, it’s Colt he has to worry about, but fine, this is what he likes to hear. He excuses himself because Ricky Steamboat has asked to talk to him, how cool is that? Cabana says to get his autograph. Punk leaves with Traci, and Cabana says they’re ready to start the promo. And just as him and Ace go to talk, the camera cuts off.

GMC is in the ring and welcomes out Julius Smokes. GMC again asks, but this time in public, about the whereabouts of Homicide. Smokes says Homicide sent him here tonight with a personal message for Samoan Joe, FAT ASS SLOPPY JOE. HE’S TALKIN BOUT YO ASS YEAH YEAH YEAH. He says Homicide destroyed him in NY back in the Fall. And Homicide wants him to come get him some so he can stomp his ass out again. Then he randomly starts singing “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag” for some reason. GMC seems legitimately confused (as am I) and asks again where Homicide is at? Smokes says Homicide is chilling, and if Joe wants some, 187 is gonna stomp his ass out.  

So I mean, I have no fucking idea what this was meant to accomplish. Did Smokes forget what he was supposed to actually do? Did they convey it properly to him? Felt like him and GMC were on two completely different wave lengths. But god damn if Smokes don’t know where that camera was every second of that segment. Love him.

The back half of this card is legendary but look at this absolute mud pie they’re gonna force me through in the next three matches to get there. Holy shit.

Match #2: Xavier vs. Slyk Wagner Brown
Only nothing notable here is Nana is back. ROH is so weird with appearances in these early years. They do the angle with Nana taking Xavier in as part of the Embassy, and then you don’t see Nana for months, even though you see Xavier. Just weird. Anyway, yeah man, I ain’t gonna hold you. No one’s reading this anyway. This match sucks. Xavier wins with a Full Nelson Camel Clutch, which was my efed characters submission finisher. I was so dumb, I thought I created that back in the day. Dummy.
*

Match #3: Jerry Lynn vs. Nigel McGuinness
Thankfully, this is Jerry Lynn’s last appearance for like 4-5 years. Sadly, his next set of appearances are to build up to one of the worst decisions ROH ever makes. But that’s a future me problem. Nigel is here looking more like classic Nigel. Bleach blonde spiked hair, ripped soccer shirt, now we’re talking. This actually isn’t awful but it’s still a Jerry Lynn match and Nigel isn’t *there* quite yet to be able to turn this into something great on his own. Nigel doesn’t really seem to have it figured out, in character, how to throw that one big shot yet that’ll end a match, and Lynn almost gets him a couple of times on it, before finally hitting the Cradle Piledriver to sadly get the win.
**1/4

There’s a segment where two dudes in matching singlets who are a team (I’m
sorry but I have no idea who they are) and they’re mad they’re not booked so Dunn & Marcos attack while Twisted Sister plays. I’m tired of these segments. It feels like ROH has grown beyond the need for them.

Backstage, Steamboat meets with both Punk & AJ and goes over the rules. AJ is calm and Punk is being a shit heel, and there’s some tension with Punk and Steamer.

Match #4: John Walters vs. Matt Stryker [#1 Contender’s Trophy]
Whyyyyyyyyy. Why is this for the #1 Contenders Trophy? That makes no sense! And! These two suck! Gabe is the worst man. God damn. You know what? This is a pointless exercise. Nobody really reads these reviews like I said above, and it’s not like these guys are going to make a dent in my GWE stuff, so fuck this. Stryker wins somehow. Moving on.
N/A

Yes, I am in a mood and down on myself because this show has taken me 48 hours and four attempts to watch because that three match run almost killed me. Fuck.

Match #5: Second City Saints (Cabana/Steel) vs. The Prophecy (Maff/Whitmer) [#1 Contendership for Tag Team Titles]
This was around ten minutes and was a fine brawl but it could’ve been better. I think the disconnect here is that Maff is really the only one of the four that is a skilled brawler. BJ’s okay but very faulty and Colt & Ace simply aren’t that type of wrestler. I can appreciate what they accomplished here. It’s a bit of an overcompensation since the feud is about to lose one of its two main guys essentially forever (or so it felt at the time) but it was still decent. Lot of big strikes by Maff, cheap shots by all. It eventually gets out of control and goes into the crowd. Chairs start getting used, it’s a pier 6. The ref tries to maintain order but BJ throws him down and the ref throws the match out finally.
**1/2

Post match, the brawl keeps going and they really do a good job at making things feel raucous. Maff MURDERS Ace with a chair shot to the head. Like holy shit it sent a shiver up my butt hole (???), it was NASTY. Refs try getting order and the two teams fight through them, so now the locker room clears to try and keep the teams apart. Good pull apart action. And they have to do it a second time because the teams burst through! Ace and Cabana escape to the floor finally, AND ACE COLD COCKS A REFEREE AND SHOVES GABE DOWN HARD! FUCK.

WHY DOES ACE STEEL KEEP ATTACKING BOOKERS?!

Match #6: AJ Styles (c) vs. CM Punk [ROH Pure Championship] [Sp.R/ Ricky Steamboat]
This was great! Good evolution from the last match last show with Punk now understanding the idea of the Pure Rules more. In a great example of this, he baits AJ early and gets into a side headlock up against the ropes where AJ just as muscle memory grabs onto the ropes and it costs him a rope break. Fantastic bit. Punk/Steamboat have words throughout this, building tension there, and that’s probably something important! They build up urgency in this match, if that’s the right term, in that it starts very scientific and on the mat. Some good holds and reversals. But it builds up naturally and this spills to the floor when AJ takes a nasty bump through the ropes off a missed clothesline, and then takes a header off the apron to the rail off a dropkick right after that, god damn. But Punk then whips Styles far into the guard rail, and Styles CLEARS it again, AND THIS TIME HE CATCHES PUNK’S QUICK DIVE OVER THE GUARD RAIL WITH A SUPERKICK! They battle back in the ring with Punk on the defensive, and he tries unsuccessfully to get Styles to use his last two rope breaks but Styles is cognizant of this and traps Punk in a Muta Lock. Love when he does that. Punk uses his first rope break. He goes low on AJ and gets him in quick holds to burn through his last two rope breaks in somewhat quick succession. Every time Punk’s done this, he’s tried to keep the hold on too long, and Steamboat gets on him about it and Punk curses him out. AJ makes a quick comeback off of one of the arguments and goes for a lariat but Punk wraps him up in a Sleeper and seemingly has it won as AJ appears to be fading out. But when Steamboat goes to check one last time, Styles FINGERS are still moving, so Steamboat won’t call it! I LOVE THAT. Punk keeps the hold on but focuses more on yelling at Steamer, and it allows Styles to slowly fight out of the sleeper and eventually breaks free. He hits a couple of his strike combos and then a quick succession of hard lariats with some pin attempts, the third lariat into a pin being enough to get the win. This was great! It grew logically from their last match, it helped evolve the match type and started Punk/Steamboat.
****

Post match, Samoa Joe immediately stomps down to the ring and gets in AJ’s face. Joe holds the World Title up in AJ’s face, and AJ returns the favor. Steamboat tries calming them down and wants them to shake hands. Joe is handed the mic and goes to speak, and Punk, who is sitting in the corner, tears off his wrist tape and throws it at Joe. Joe turns to glare at him and *I Think* says “there’s a reason you’re sitting over there and not standing here” but the audio is kinda shitty. Steamboat puts focus back on Joe/AJ and tries to get them to both accept that they are both champions that represent ROH, and begrudgingly, they shake.

After they leave, Steamboat stays behind and Punk gets up and grabs the mic. He says he doesn't know how Ricky's eyes are, BUT RAY CHARLES COULD HAVE SEEN THAT AJ'S HAND DROPPED THREE TIMES. HE IS THE PAST, AND CM PUNK IS THE FUTURE AND THE NEW KING. He was robbed tonight and he's going to hand this mic over, AND HE WILL ACCEPT RICKY'S APOLOGY! Ricky says he's called him old man all night, backstage and in this ring, and to let him tell Punk that he can't rain on his parade and capture some minute bit of glory tonight. In over 20 years and 6000 matches that he's had, he's probably forgotten more than Punk remembers. He calls him a Ric Flair look alike (although I think he means wannabe). Steamer says to let that be a warning, young man. He goes to leave, BUT PUNK GOES TO ATTACK HIM, AND STEAMBOAT FIGHTS BACK WITH CHOPS AND AN ARM DRAG, AND ANOTHER CHOP AND PUNK BAILS OUT. GOD YES. I’ve gotten to see Steamboat wrestle since then (we all have) and this is a 20 year old segment, but I still got fucking chills. Hell yeah dude. Steamboat celebrates to “Sirius” - Alan Parsons Project. Fuck yes.

Backstage, GMC is standing by with Matt Stryker. This shithead. Anyway, I missed earlier that apparently his match with Walters wasn’t for the #1 Contender’s trophy per se, but the winner gets to pick either a shot at the World or Pure Titles. Stryker is asked his choice. He says he’s going to wait til after tonight’s show, because if Joe wins, he wants Joe. And if Jay wins, he’ll just face AJ. Wow. He says it’s because if Joe retains, he’s gonna be so beat up and worn down after a year of defenses that he’ll be easy to beat. This was a REALLY bad way of getting from point A to point B.

Elsewhere, Suga Sean Price finds Samoa Joe, who’s on the phone. He talks a bit about the cage match tonight and he’s nervous but determined etc etc. SSP asks about the stuff Smokes said earlier in regard to Homicide. Joe gets heated and says if Homicide or Smokes has something to say to come find him after the show. SSP also brings up what Stryker said and Joe just laughs it off and says that makes sense because HIS TITLE is the one that matters.

Elsewhere in the back, GMC is with the Briscoes now. GMC asks about the match and Mark says they're not worried, they’ve gotten a plan from Cornette (who’s not there as mentioned above). Jay says since the start, Joe tried to bully them, and that won't work. They fought back harder than him, and time and time again, Joe couldn't get it done for their tag titles. You think he's scared of the cage? He's not scared of Joe, and he's not scared of the cage. Their war ends when his feet hit the ground and he's the first double champion in ROH history.

Let’s go.

Match #7: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Jay Briscoe [ROH World Championship] [Steel Cage Match]
This was fantastic, this was everything that was promised and then some. Mark is in Jay’s corner. Match starts immediately with Jay diving for the door and Joe catching him. Joe punishes Jay about for a bit and they work around Jay trying to escape through the door numerous times. Joe punishes Jay by throwing him repeatedly into the cage well. With Jay down, Joe goes over and digs out a chain that was hidden in the bottom turnbuckle, and he LOCKS the door shut! Hell yeah. We now see that Joe’s previous punishment has caused a NASTY gash on Briscoe’s forehead and yeah man, it’s this all-timer of a cut. It’s just pouring blood out by the gallon, you can smell the copper just by watching it on tv. Joe puts on a master class of how to elevate your opponent while also not turning the crowd against you in terms of face/heel. The crowd is very much Pro-Joe in this, but as time passes by and the beating becomes more severe, they get to a point of openly cheering for Jay now. And that doesn’t make Joe a heel or cause him to start acting (more) heelish, he just continues the beating because in terms of the feud, it’s fucking deserved. This has been eight months in the making and Jay’s getting his comeuppance but it allows the audience to ask “does the punishment fit the crime?” and it’s so nuanced and so well done. Joe works the cut and uses the cage to scrape it up even more, it’s actually nauseating (which rules). He does the Ole Ole kicks in the corner a bunch and blood is literally splashing out of the cage on to the floor! But this strategy also backfires because Joe is hitting the kicks so hard, THE BOTTOM OF THE CAGE BUSTS OPEN AND LIKE A MAD MAN JAY STARTS TRYING TO CRAWL OUT AS MARK PULLS THE CAGING BACK! But Joe catches him just in time. Jay starts making some fiery comebacks, and Joe starts chasing Jay up on the top rope because now Jay’s trying to climb out. But in a nice touch, since Joe is so out of his element up top, Jay bests him each time they go up until the end when there’s just nothing left, which we’ll get to in a second. We start to notice now thanks to a super gratuitous camera angle that the blood coming out of Jay’s head HAS STARTED TO FUCKING CLOT. JESUS CHRIST. At one point, Jay gets a SUPER dramatic rope break off of an STF from Joe and on his comeback, he nails Joe with the Jay Driller — BUT JOE KICKS OUT OF THE JAY DRILLER AT 2.999999. Jay is completely spent at this point and Mark tries climbing up the cage to help his brother, who started climbing up one of the corners. BUT AJ STYLES COMES OUT, AND IN ONE SWIFT MOTION, PULLS MARK OFF THE CAGE AND RIGHT INTO A STYLES CLASH ON THE FLOOR! Jay is out of options up top, and Joe’s caught up to him and finishes him off with a SUPER Muscle Buster. Wow. 

One of the best cage matches I’ve ever seen, and maybe one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. Had just the right amount of MOVEZ~, perfect amount of story, and just a ton of fucking bloody, gory, violence. An absolute out of body experience watching this. Honest to god, I put it up there with Magnum/Tully Steel Cage I Quit from Starrcade ‘85, which if you know me (which you don’t, why would you) you probably know that’s my favorite match of all time.

A well deserved rating.
*****

Just some of the imagery from this instant classic:

Post-match, Joe gets on the mic and yells to get up. He says a lot of people out there said the Briscoes don't have the heart and desire to win this belt. God damnit, he was one of those people, BUT NOW HE'S NOT. SHAKE HIS FUCKING HAND. And they shake! Big pop from the crowd.

Joe goes to leave the ring and he notices AJ still at ringside, AND JOE KICKS THE DOOR INTO AJ! It didn’t hit hard enough to hurt, more of an insult than anything, and they get face to face in the aisleway and have to be pulled apart.  

I’m not sure how that’s not your main event? Like why is this next match happening here? Whatever.

Match #8: Carnage Crew/Masada/Justin Credible/Dusty Rhodes vs. Special K (Angel Dust, Deranged, Hydro, Dixie & Izzy) [Scramble Cage Match]
I’m not even sure who the official entrants are in this. I see various answers on different reviews and results. This thing’s a pig fuck but in a good way. I got mad at first because this was a War Games style match where the faces had the man advantage and that shit fucking mortally wounds my soul when I see it. But that dies down pretty quick by the time it’s 2v2 and suddenly, ALL OF SPECIAL K storm the cage and now they’re just beating the shit out of all four Crew team members. Dusty Rhodes then marches out in ring gear and I guess officially enters the match. He starts helping the Crew clean house but then Special K gang up on Dusty now and get him on the mat near the cage door. AND THIS BRINGS OX BAKER BACK OUT. OX BAKER IS IN SPECIAL K. Ox attacks Dusty and drags him out of the cage but then Dusty fights back with bionic elbows sending Ox to the back. The tides turn and Carnage Crew slowly start getting rid of a lot of the Special K members from the ring. Two of the Special K guys do spots from the top platform to the outside of the ring but nothing that touches the Evans/Hart insaneness from last year.  Eventually, it’s down to pretty much the Crew and Angel Dust and they get him up on the top platform, AND THEY HIT THE CARNAGE DRIVER THROUGH TWO TABLES IN THE RING. GOOD LORD. Crew get the win. Whew.
**3/4

Post match, Dusty comes back out with beers and celebrates with the Crew.

Backstage later, the Crew and Dusty are still drinking in the locker room and they celebrate finally ending the battle with Special K. Dusty says it smells in here and he thinks someone popped in their bags. He puts on his sunglasses and leaves and they do find (but don’t show) poop in their bags and Loc is pissed they can’t have one night of happiness and they wonder who did this. Weird.

Elsewhere, SSP finds Samoa Joe at the Pepsi machine and says he tracked down Smokes if he wants to talk to him. Joe goes around the corner and Smokes is kind of just chilling and folding shirts, and Joe just rushes up on him and nails him with a few forearms to send him to the ground and Smokes keeps yelling WHY JOE?! Joe sits with his knees on Smokes shoulders and says to tell Homicide and his Rottweilers that if they want some, come get some, and he accepts.

NEXT MONTH: JOE/HOMICIDE! BRYAN/PUNK!

ROH: SECOND YEAR ANNIVERSARY 2004

National Guard Armory
Braintree, MA
February 14th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 10 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 5 Defenses)

In the ring before the show, Samoa Joe is in a suit and welcomes people to the second anniversary of ROH. Eleven months ago, he took this belt from an absolute zero, a disgrace who exemplified none of the qualities that embody Ring of Honor. After he took it, he walked it around the world and defended against all those who wished to challenge him. Tonight, they crown their first ROH Pure Wrestling Champion. This night is about that title, not one that's been defended against the best in the world, but the founding of a new belt. While he's in a four way, because ONE man can't do the job. He's all for the competition, so he'll leave it at this. The only reason there's a Pure Champion is because nobody can take the World Title from him. Because is Samoa Joe. And he is pro wrestling. Weird and random way to announce the World Title is now a four way.

Elsewhere, Maff and Whitmer are there with Allison Danger. Repeat a lot of the words they said last show and more issues between them not liking or trusting each other. Maff lets it drop that the fourth man in the World Title match tonight is Low Ki and for the first time since August he’s got a chance at revenge. Whitmer jokes Ki may knock Maff out again. Danger says one of them will be walking out World Champion tonight. So I guess they amended that ridiculous booking choice? Good.

Out in the arena, “Disposable Teens” hits and MY GOD IS THAT CHRISTOPHER DANIELS?!

“Were you expecting somebody else?!”

BAH GAWD ITS CM PUNK! Punk says that he left Daniels in a heap in Ohio after Pepsi Plunging his ass through a table, ending his time in Ring of Honor. A new era begins at the second anniversary show, the era of straight edge. They're taking the credo of the Prophecy, and that's the quest for every title ROH has to offer. He starts with the pure title tonight and in Chicago on April 24th, he moves on to the Tag Titles. He mentions that Bobby Heenan negotiated Punk’s entry into the tourney and the tag title shot they’re getting in April. (However — lol — something unfortunate happens soon that prevents Heenan and many others from ever returning or even stepping foot into ROH for a while.) ANYWHO, Punk says once he has all THOSE belts, HE'S COMING FOR SAMOA JOE AND THE WORLD TITLE. YEAH!

John Walters comes out to start the match, but Punk stays on the mic. He says he knows all the Boston losers (HOW BOUT IT?!) are riding high from that recent Super Bowl win, but he's from Chicago. They kicked their ass in '86, and he'll do it again tonight.

Match #1: CM Punk vs. John Walters [Pure Title Tournament - Quarter Finals]
Remember “Above Average” Mike Sanders? But he really sucked? It should be “Below Average” John Walters because he really, REALLY sucks. Nice. Anyway, yeah I mean, I hope this tournament is the end of a lot of these vanilla charisma vacuums like Walters but I don’t know for sure. Punk is fine here but he’s not some overly skilled technician here and he never ever truly becomes that so you can’t expect him to be able to guide someone like Walters to something otherworldly. I don’t care about this. It is what it is and there’s a lot of shit to cover on this show. Punk reverses an O’Connor Roll and gets the win.
**

Match #2: Doug Williams vs. Chris Sabin [Pure Title Tournament - Quarter Finals]
This was great! It was sub ten minutes and did its intended job to get Williams over in his first ROH appearance in a long while. And I’m glad to have him back. Sabin is great in this too and has sneakily become one of My Guys in this review which I did not expect. I’ve never disliked Sabin I’ve just never been a huge fan or anything. This review is changing that. Doug gets some good work going on Sabin’s neck and keeps it focused. Sabin’s selling is totally on point. Sabin has a fired up comeback and gets a lot of believable near falls before ultimately falling victim to a missed corner attack leading to a beautifully seamless transition into a Chaos Theory. Williams wins, advances and will do battle with Punk in the semi finals.
***1/2

Backstage, Doug Williams does a promo EXTREMELY close to the camera. He says he underestimated Sabin and had more trouble than he thought. But it’s no matter. Because he’s wrestled and BEAT both Jay Briscoe and Bryan Danielson in the same night before. He’s wrestled 60 minutes with three other men for the ROH Title before. So having to wrestle these two other matches tonight is nothing to him, and nothing will stop him from winning the Pure Title. Good promo, not a single BRUV, but there was a very uncomfortable close up on his teeth which just met every single stereotype under the sun sadly.

Match #3: Matt Stryker vs. Josh Daniels [Pure Title Tournament - Quarter Finals]
You know what? No. Fuck you. Stryker won.
N/A

Match #4: AJ Styles vs. Jimmy Rave [Pure Title Tournament - Quarter Finals]
This only got around 7-8 minutes but it rocked. Styles outmatches Rave in every facet imaginable. And then even when Rave seems to have an idea of his next step, Styles just begins pulling from his TNA moveset to throw Rave off which was a nice touch. AJ seems to have this wrapped and sets up the Phenomenal DDT, but tweaks his knee on the landing. Rave hesitates to do anything, but taking AJ’s advice from previous matches, RAVE TARGETS THE KNEE! LOVE that. Rave starts getting ahead of himself and is overworking in a sense that he’s going too much instead of just focusing, and it bites him in the ass as AJ takes his head off with VERY NASTY rolling lariat to get the win! This was great. Rave’s story continues in defeat without lessening his growth, and AJ moves on and rightfully so as he is the superior talent.
***

So it’ll be Styles/Stryker in the semis.

Backstage, Jimmy Rave looks for and checks in on AJ Styles. Rave is apologetic but Styles tells him it’s okay and to not be sorry. He would’ve done the same thing and he is very proud of him.

There’s an RCX/Outcast Killaz in ring bit but I’m not gonna hold you: I don’t give a shit.

There’s a Cornette pretape. I’ve got a couple of issues with it but we’ll get to that after the breakdown. So he addresses Joe’s promo from the end of last months show and says on behalf of his client Jay Briscoe, the challenge for 3/13 is accepted in a Steel Cage Match for the World Title. However, he was able to manipulate the contract a bit, and in that match, the winner can be decided pinfall, submission OR ESCAPE, because his client isn’t above diving off the cage into the 14th row to become World Champion. And if it comes to that? Well he just may.

So first and foremost, if you’re reading these reviews, you’ve either followed ROH back in this time period or at least have a good idea of wrestling history, I am assuming. Therefore, we all know the major blow ROH is about to take in the next 30-45 days. And because of what’s coming, this is Cornette’s last appearance for over a year. So alright, that’s all in retrospect and can’t really be helped.

But there’s still a World Title match tonight that’s been built, albeit adjacently, for some time. And they’ve really teased that Joe could lose the belt. So why air this promo now? No, it doesn’t exactly give the result of tonight’s match away. BUT, it kiiiinda does give the result of tonight’s match away. Maybe just a nitpick but something that annoyed me nonetheless.

Match #5: Carnage Crew/Justin Credible vs. Special K (Izzy/Dixie/Hydro) [Country Whipping Match]
This was absolutely my shit. First and foremost, it’s an old school Memphis style brawl that goes all around ringside. The face team absolutely demolishes the heel team. Heel team gets great color. It’s just a blast. Crowd is pretty lively for it as well. The Crew start to wrap things up when Izzy gets a THATS INCREDIBLE and they set him up for a Carnage Driver. But before they can hit it, ANGEL DUST SHOWS UP IN THE AISLEWAY WITH DEVITO’S DAUGHTER! HOLY SHIT. DeVito and Credible bolt out and give chase to the back and the rest of Special K gangs up on Loc. They beat him down and then HIT THE CARNAGE DRIVER ON HIM OFF THE APRON IN REVENGE FOR WHAT LOC DID TO BECKY! They roll Loc back in and cover him to win! This RULED. Great brawl and awesome booking all around. Special K have been little weasely shit heels before this, now they’re legit big time hateable heels. That rules.
***

Backstage, Special K celebrate while still covered in blood. Izzy says the Crew ain’t got nothing on Special K. He asks where Angel Dust went and Dixie says with a laugh that he’s off taking care of another DeVito family member. Jesus.

Out in the ring, GMC is there and welcomes out Julius Smokes. GMC tells Smokes he’s here to get the scoop and he wants to know where Homicide is at. J-Train does a little singing and then says that Homicide is a ghost. He says Homicide won’t return any of his calls. But he knows what’s up. He knows that Homicide destroys people. BJ Whitmer, Samoa Joe and CM Punk, just to name a few. But Smokes is begging Homicide to stop fronting, because he knows what’s coming and so does ROH. THE ROTTWEILERS ARE COMING. YEAH YEAH YEAH. BBBBBBBDAT BBBBBBBDAT. THE ROTTWEILERS ARE COMING TO OPEN THE GATES OF HELL ON THEIR ASSES. BBBBBBBBBBBDAT. YEAH YEAH YEAH.

Match #6: CM Punk vs. Doug Williams [Pure Title Tournament - Semi Finals]
Another fantastic match! We’re cooking here baby. Williams is absolutely superior to Punk in strength and on the mat and he’s not afraid to show it. Punk manages to get Williams to the floor early and tries a tope suicida, BUT WILLIAMS UPPERCUTS HIM IN MID AIR. Williams stays on top of Punk with a bunch of quick pin attempts to throw him in a loop, and then he starts coming up with neat reversals out of everything with a laugh and it really fucks with Punk’s head. Punk finally resorts to cheap shots to get something, ANYTHING, over on Doug. Doug wants to end this quick and he’s able to hit a flash Chaos Theory. He goes up top for insurance and tries a diving knee drop, BUT PUNK MOVES AND DOUG HURTS HIS KNEE! Punk immediately goes to work on Doug’s knee and it’s really, really good. Doug’s selling, too, is exceptional. Doug works out of desperation and manages to hit a second Chaos Theory that bridges into a pin, BUT THE BAD KNEE GIVES UP DURING THE COUNT AND PUNK LIFTS HIS SHOULDER UP JUST IN TIME AND HE GETS THE PIN AND THE WIN!
***3/4

In a pretape, Steve Corino reminisces on the first two years of ROH, from his time commentating the original shows in a studio, to the wars with Homicide, and it’s all very tongue in cheek because he hates ROH and everyone in it. He doesn’t care about a “pure title” because they might as well have a sports entertainment title too. Makes him sick. He says 2004 holds nothing for him and ROH and he only cares about CM Punk, a man he idolizes and respects, even though he’s a better wrestler, in better shape, better looking, etc than Punk is. But he tells ROH to be grateful for and thank CM Punk for the house.

Match #7: AJ Styles vs. Matt Stryker [Pure Title Tournament - Semi Finals]
This is the penance I have to pay to get the run of mostly good matches I’ve gotten on this show. This isn’t terrible since AJ is leading the way, but it’s still a 20 minute Stryker match. Its flaws are in its design basically. You’ve got AJ working defense and selling, not exactly his strong suits in 2004. And then you’ve got Stryker on the offensive and, well, he just stinks. He still hasn’t figured out how to focus on a body part. He gets multiple ideas in his head he tries to execute all at once and it creates a jumbled mess in a boring package. It’s a pointless exercise at this point to go any further in dissecting it. He’s not a good wrestler and if you look at how his career panned out, this clearly isn’t just me being hard on the guy. He’s not good. Stryker eventually settles on AJ’s bad knee from his earlier match and AJ sells it a teensy bit but then hilariously stops selling it completely to do a springboard 450 splash to win. Hilarious.
**

So look, as a fan of someone who likes good wrestling, I am quite fine with this tournament leading to Punk vs. AJ. Two of my all time favorites with a limited catalogue against one another. However, I find it quite amusing that Gabe spent the last 15 months pulling his pud to this pure wrestling bullshit, overpushing guys like Stryker, Collyer, Woods and others (but mostly Stryker) only to finally get to the culmination of this whole thing, this big one night tournament, and the finals are two guys who — when I think of what Gabe’s idea of pure wrestling is — are the absolute last two people I’d think of in this company competing for the inaugural Pure Title. And it’s none of the guys he wasted so much time pushing! Good on him for course correcting, but it’s also kind of the cowards way out. But whatever. None of this will matter in a couple of shows anyway.

CM Punk does a pretape to brag about his two wins so far and vows to beat AJ in the finals to earn his first crown since he’s the uncrowned king of ROH. Then he’s coming for the tag titles and World Title. Because straight edge means he’s better than you.

GMC is in the back for intermission and HC Loc storms on flipping out about what happened in the Special K match. Loc says Devito brought his daughter to the show tonight just to keep an eye on her because his wife is in rehab. They go to the ring like they do every god damned night here to take care of Special K, because this has gone on so long. It was just about over, and then Angel Dust comes out with DeVito's daughter. They take off, and he gets beat down again. Now, Devito and Justin are gone after Special K. He doesn't want to pin them anymore, and now, they're going to kill them.

Match #8: The Briscoe Brothers (c) vs. Backseat Boyz [ROH Tag Team Championships]
This was fine. This wasn’t bad at all. Just a complete waste of one of the top acts in the company on your big anniversary show. I understand that Gabe didn’t book early ROH with WM style shows but like, maybe he should have? Because an anniversary show should have big things on it. Joe/Jay in a cage should’ve been on this show. But whatever. Mark hits a tornado DDT on Trent Acid through a table on the floor and then the Briscoes hit Kashmere with a spike Jay Driller to win and retain.
**1/2

In a pretape, SPANKY says hello. He congratulates ROH on 2 years and talks about his time in ROH fondly before saying they usually say you can’t go home, but maybe you can? HELL YEAH PLEASE COME BACK.

GMC is backstage outside of the trainers room where he says AJ is getting his knee worked on after hurting it in the tourney. He goes in to get a word but Jimmy Rave opens the door and stops him and says AJ is fine and he’ll be ready for the main event and he closes the door.

Match #9: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Dan Maff vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Low Ki [ROH World Championship]
There’s a lot going here but this definitely over delivered. Joe/Ki is obviously teased throughout the whole thing and the crowd is super into it. Maff and Whitmer really start to gel as a team here, too, so it adds another layer to the match where it sort of becomes 2v1v1. Additionally, you’ve got Joe’s beef with the Prophecy and Maff wanting to get revenge on Ki from August. So yeah, again, a lot going on. There’s a ton of good strikes and violence throughout this. Good floor sequence with Joe doing his ole kicks until Ki cuts him off. Joe takes a spill into the guard rail and gets a GNARLY cut on his hand that gushes blood. They tape it up and he keeps going but you can tell this motherfucker is hurt. From there, the match really comes down to the Prophecy guys singling out either Joe or Ki, or breaking off into pairs, with Joe and Ki fighting through them to keep trying to get at each other but falling short. It starts to get a little too theatrical, like when Joe & Ki get Maff & Whitmer in stereo dragon clutch holds and slowly look up to lock eyes. I sort of rolled my eyes there but whatever. Joe and Ki finally get their big stand off, and in a terrific call back to their 2002 match, they strip down the tape and braces and what not and get ready for a FIGHT, but just as they’re about to hit, Maff tackles Ki through the ropes and Whitmer dives at Joe. But Joe catches Whitmer and nails him with an awesome Uranage before locking on The Choke to win and retain.
***1/2

Post match, there’s another staredown between Ki and Joe before a tense handshake. And it really sucks knowing we never got their big blowoff in ROH. But I’m also kind of glad I know that instead of getting my hopes up.

Jerry Lynn sends in a pretape and brother I could not give less of a fuck. Moving on.

Match #10: AJ Styles vs. CM Punk [Pure Title Tournament - Finals]
So first and foremost, this is weird because none of the other tournament matches had the rope break rule, but this did. Makes no sense. Also, this is still revolving around having to depend on AJ selling his knee incredibly well and that’s just not something that’s going to happen. Punk is great though and AJ, other than the selling, is really good too. They both run through their rope breaks pretty early and they do well at getting over the idea of how important the rope breaks are in this style of match, which is a good touch, but again, I dunno why the whole tournament didn’t have them. This gets high paced and goes to the floor. AJ does his usual leap over the guard rail spot but Punk is on top of it and IMMEDIATELY hits a dive over the rail to hit AJ with a clothesline. Punk stays on top of AJ back inside and keeps the knee work up mostly. Styles is able to surprise Punk with a Styles Clash counter and gets a super close fall. Punk goes up top but AJ catches him and Punk falls back and hangs upside down, allowing Styles to hit a perfectly set up super styles clash. He covers for the pin, Punk has his foot on the rope, but he’s out of rope breaks, and AJ wins the belt. This got clunky at points but its highs were still good enough. Good match for the project but probably not something I’m recommending as must see.
***1/4

Post match, Styles celebrates with the belt. The roster comes out to celebrate the new champion being crowned and the second year anniversary. Samoa Joe comes out too and he gets the mic. He congratulates him and says he's spent the last year making this belt the WORLD Championship, and compared to his, that new belt means nothing. AJ gets in his face and Joe says to do his best, but remember that the reason AJ has THAT belt is because he couldn't beat him for this one. Joe leaves and AJ says this belt might not mean anything right now, but it means everything to him. AJ says Joe did beat him, but this ain't the last belt he's holding.

Colt Cabana has a pretape with another Good Times Great Memories. He goes through his schtick but I just do not care man. He sells the shoulder injury from last month. Dusty Rhodes shows up and he’s gonna team with the Carnage Crew against Special K coming up soon.

In the back, GMC again tries to ask Smokes about Homicide, and he says he really has no idea. Cloudy from Special K comes up and he says he hears Smokes has his hook up and makes the symbol for pot. Smokes asks if he wants that strawberry haze AND THEN GRABS CLOUDY IN A HEADLOCK AND SAYS NOT TO INSULT HIS INTELLIGENCE! GMC says Carnage Crew are looking for Special K members AND SMOKES YELLS TO GET HIS CRAZY ASS, WHITE BOYS! GMC runs off and Smokes yells at Cloudy that they've been robbed of their names and cultures and not to ever disrespect him. The Crew rushes in and Smokes hands him over and leaves. Devito yells to tell him where his daughter is and Cloudy says Angel Dust has her. DEVITO THEN GETS A BLOWTORCH AND A COATHANGER AND THE CAMERA MAN RUNS AWAY. JESUS. GOD YES.

NEXT MONTH: PUNK/AJ II WITH STEAMBOAT AS THE REF! JOE/JAY IN A CAGE! SAINTS/PROPHECY! DUSTY RHODES!