ROH: DEATH BEFORE DISHONOR
The RexPlex
Elizabeth, NJ
July 19th, 2003
ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 4 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 2 Defenses)
Backstage, Punk cuts a promo. He says that tonight isn't just the most important night of his career, but of his entire life. He'll have a ten foot chain connecting him to someone he doesn't respect, someone who's ruined lives, and someone no better than the dog fit for that same collar. He says that he’s beaten Raven time and time again and pinned him, and he’s giving Raven another chance tonight. Because this has gotten way too personal, and that's why this matters to his career. Three weeks ago, when Raven turned blue and when there was spit coming out of his mouth and when he couldn't breathe and when he saw his life flash before his eyes, he had what people who've been to rehab before call a “moment of clarity”. You see, there was a time when he was a kid and his dad came home from work and he was drunk, more than usual. He ends up passing out and falls asleep, and he threw up. Punk saw him turn blue too. He saw the life fade away. But just like with Raven at WrestleRave, he tipped his dad over and the vomit spilled from his mouth and he could breath again. AND HE HAS REGRETTED IT EVER SINCE! He couldn't do that to his father though. But he can't quite figure out why he spared Raven though and he regrets that he did. He is BETTER than Raven. How many lives has Raven ruined? How many people has Raven led down the road to debauchery? He exercises all of his demons tonight.
Colt Cabana comes in with the chain and says this is heavy. Punk stands up and shoves him hard up against the wall and says that's the last time he interrupts him. He says he’s sick of his tomfoolery and shenanigans, and if Ace was here, he'd slap him (or bite him), and Punk leaves.
Cabana almost follows, but then comes back to the camera. He says he's Colt Cabana. You might remember him from such videos as Do or Die, Revenge on the Prophecy, or the 1st Anniversary Show. A lot of people say he's so funny, that Cabana makes them laugh, like he's a modern day Dave Coulier. He's an entertainer, but there's a serious side. He has feelings. He cried during My Girl. Tonight, he has a four way with BJ Whitmer, Danny Maff, and Homicide, for the #1 Contender's Trophy. Just wait until the night is over, hell show you how serious he can be. And he’s going to put that trophy up on the Cabana Mantle next to the 1993 Deerfield Illinois Hopscotch Championship.
After the shitty opening video, SPECIAL K ARE BACK RAVING AROUND RINGSIDE AND IN THE CROWD. AND THEY’VE GROWN IN SIZE. Commentary come to “the desk” and say they’re confused because it’s 7:03 and the show doesn’t start til 7:30.
This is the biggest crowd ROH has had yet so this should be fun.
We go backstage where GMC is with Joe. GMC confirms London’s last night in ROH is tonight. Joe takes great offense to this notion that it’ll be a special night for London because every night is a special night for Samoa Joe, and this is HIS belt.
Back in the arena, Special K continues raving as the crowd files in more. Dixie steals Gabe’s sandwich.
Backstage, GMC is now with Homicide and Smokes and someone else. He wants to know what happened behind closed doors last month with Low Ki. They try to stay mum but get mad at GMC (because again I think GMC has been a heel this whole time) for forcing the issue. Homicide simply says Low Ki is doing Low Ki things and Homicide’s doing Homicide things. Smokes says all questions will be answered in due time, tell Low Ki that too. Then him and the other thug call GMC some words I can’t/won’t repeat.
Back in the arena and by commentary’s count, the Special K rave has been going on for almost 30 minutes now. Crowd is all in. Looks like a cool venue. Anyway. Stephen DeAngelis comes down to start the show but Special K won’t stop raving. One of them bends down behind DeAngelis and Hydro shoves DeAngelis down so he bails. The rave music stops and is replaced with disco music, and out come the CSC. They do their schtick, and then Special K attack them. They continue the rave but then THE LIGHTS GO OUT. AND IT’S LOW KI! HE’S BACK EARLY! Crowd is HOT. Ki says he didn’t come here to see dancing he came here for a FIGHT. 98% of Special K bails. Lit tries to make a step towards Ki and Ki bitch slaps him into unconsciousness. Cloudy is laughing and Ki starts to laugh with him before doing a double leg and trapping him in the Dragon Clutch til he passes out. Ki plays to the crowd and Deranged low blows him! And we’ve got an impromptu match.
Match #1: Low Ki vs. Deranged
Honestly this was a blast. Deranged kind of toyed with the now winded Ki and did some basic heel schtick that was funny enough. He worked the shoulder a bit. But Ki came back angry and just fucking MURDERED the kid. I’m talking some of the nastiest sounding strikes ever, and everything landed. Just a real asshole type of squash that earned Ki his reputation but also like, kinda rules, sorry to say? Slugga comes back out and traps Ki, but KI GRABS HIS PENIS UNTIL HE FALLS TO HIS KNEES AND PASSES OUT! He then wraps the match with Deranged up with a Ki Krusher and Dragon Clutch.
**
In a pretape from Japan, Chris Daniels is on the phone with Allison Danger who’s back in NJ for DBD. He tells her to offer “him” the spot and keep him posted on what he says. Daniels then addresses the camera. He says tonight is the biggest night in ROH's history in New Jersey, drawing 1200 fans. Congratulations, but the truth of the matter is that they never ever would have gotten here without Christopher Daniels. They have only capitalized on his efforts on the ring. ROH was built on his shoulders, but he's not there tonight. He's in Japan, working for the King of Sports. He's getting updates, and he hears Low Ki is back. He's been a thorn in his side since the beginning. He got rid of Steve Corino by allying himself to those closest to him, and Danny Maff is the same thing in his war against Low Ki. Danny Maff will become #1 Contender tonight, but if he doesn't, he's taking a shot at the #1 Contender's Trophy when he gets back. He then promises to talk to them later.
An ad airs hyping up FIELD OF HONOR starting soon. No idea what it is but I’ve been told I’m going to hate it.
Match #2: Matt Stryker vs. Jimmy Rave
Best Stryker match in a while because it wasn’t something where he’s forced to go 15-20 with another super bland dude. Rave is a more dynamic wrestler than Stryker, and there’s a bit of a styles clash here no pun intended, but it kinda works. Rave has some control of this when they’re on their feet and he tries to keep avoiding the mat. Hubris gets the best of him though. He traps Stryker in a decent crossface but Stryker breaks the hold and hits a Death Valley Driver to win.
**1/4
Match #3: Carnage Crew (DeVito, Loc, Credible & Masada) vs. TWA (Hernandez, Fast Eddie, Don Juan & Rudy Boy) [Weapons Match]
This absolutely whooped ass again. It starts off kind of sloppy and meandering but pretty early on, Credible and Rudy Boy brawl into the crowd and out of sight. Gabe keeps saying they’re brawling in the lobby then the parking lot and eventually says Credible was injured. We never see it. But them being gone helps the other six just fucking go at it and MURDER one another. At one point, Masada gets Fast Eddie up top and:
And later, Don Juan takes DeVito to the apron and:
It’s just crazy spot after crazy spot. I could literally Gif the whole match. They superplex Fast Eddie from the tippy top of a ladder. DeVito gets suplexed over the ropes onto a ladder bridge but he’s spiked head first into it. Hernandez lifts Fast Eddie at one point and they try to recreate the Pittsburgh spot where he Border Toss’d him over the corner into the aisle on top of the crew, but Hernandez tries it with like a body slam this time. He ends up shorting it and Fast Eddie lands so hard on the ground, the thud legitimately turned my stomach. It’s like the sound you think would happen when someone jumps out of a building and falls to the ground and dies. Hernandez does his big dive and that takes both him and Masada out. DeVito and Loc come back and grab Fast Eddie and hit the Rhino Driver 2000 (off the apron, through a table on the floor). But then Rudy Boy is back out and sets up chairs in the ring and Hernandez Border Tosses Masada through all of them and covers him to win. What the FUCK just happened these last 12 minutes?
***1/4
Match #4: The Purists (Mamaluke/Walters) vs. Outcast Killaz
Awful. This show was going so good too. Mamaluke and Walters debut as a team here and they’re dead from the start. You either need to get them in there with a good enough team that’ll make them look like stars, or they need to fucking squash these two goofs in the Outcast Killaz, who have been treated and booked just like that these last six months mind you. Instead! Gabe, in his infinite wisdom, makes this go TEN fucking minutes. Crowd is dead. I hate Gabe Sapolsky so much, man. I loathe him. Mamaluke/Walters win with a heel hook/leg full nelson combo.
1/2*
After both teams leave, Dunn & Marcos come out. Marcos gets the mic. They say tonight, the Killaz proved that they can never be what they are. THE TOP TAG TEAM IN ROH. BECAUSE THEY GOT ROCKED LIKE A HURRICANE. And then, this show goes from bad to fucking worse. Asshole Xavier comes out to make his return and clotheslines both of them down. He hits his shitty little Cobra Clutch Suplex on Dunn and the lame ass Kiss Your X Goodbye on Marcos. He gets on the mic and asks how you can have the greatest promotion in the country without him? Very easy! They just did for the last 3 months. And how can you have a tournament in the Field of Honor, supposed to be about the best, without the All Around Best? Nobody cares about that or you, dipshit. He says he is here to get what he's deserved all along, and that's some damn respect. He's back and better than ever. WOW, so you want from legendarily awful to just bad? Congrats bro. You fuck.
Match #5: Doug Williams vs. Tom Carter
This was whatever. The crowd feels substantially less hot after that last match and segment. They kind of just work a regular old match here. Exchanging holds building up to going move for move, nothing really sticking. Carter does some ok work on Williams arm. Doug’s selling is a bit choppy. Although at the end, he can’t use his arm to fully lock in for the Chaos Theory and Carter’s able to take him down by said arm and get a pretty bad looking pin to win. Whatever. Who cares.
**
Post-match, Allison Danger comes out and again offers Carter a spot in the Prophecy. He already said no and he sucks so I don’t get why they’d want him but oh well. Luckily, Carter walks out on her, seemingly saying no again. And that’s fine. This is his last ROH appearance ever. What a strange ROH run. Missed the Anniversary show against Punk because of a car accident that Punk off handedly hinted at not being true. Came in and ditched the name and style that got him famous. Lost to Stryker. Missed another show because his wife was giving birth which okay that one’s fine. Then for some reason gets a clean win over a guy in Doug Williams who just a couple months ago seemed to be firmly fitting in as the #3/#4 guy in the promotion. And now he’s gone.
Match #6: Homicide vs. Colt Cabana vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Dan Maff [#1 Contd’rs Trophy Match]
There’s a lot of fun stories at play here. Cabana wanting to prove himself to Punk, Cabana vs. Maff to continue the simmering feud between the Prophecy/Saints, Homicide finally getting in the ring with Maff after the turn, BJ needing to break his string of bad luck. It’s a little slow at first but the back half of this moves almost as quick and as fun as the four way in West Mifflin back in January. The crowd is super hot for this, too, which is good considering they’d been fed shit the last few matches. A lot of great dives from all four, fun near falls too and what not and things of that nature, etc. Maff and Cide really start going at it, which gives Whitmer the opening he needs to put Cabana away with a super wrist clutch exploder to win and break his streak of bad luck.
***1/4
Post-match, BJ celebrates like a mad man with the trophy. Homicide and him shake hands, and they both shake with a downed Cabana. Maff gets in and teases shaking, but then bends down and spits on the ground Homicide stands on, flips off Whitmer, kicks a downed Cabana and leaves.
In Japan, Daniels gets his latest call with an update from Danger, and we hear that neither of them had any idea that Xavier was returning, and they seem concerned. Daniels hangs up and tells the camera man to start rolling (I’m getting really tired of this bit.) Daniels changes his tune to saying Xavier returning tonight was their plan all along. He also puts over Maff for an incredible effort but more so for disrespecting the code of honor. He says he’ll handle the #1 contenders trophy situation when he returns to America. He also warns Tom Carter to make a decision soon.
GMC is backstage with Low Ki and he welcomes him back. Ki cuts a very dry, non-human monologue while making direct eye contact with GMC and it’s SUPER off putting. Ki goes on again about Special K being disrespectful etc. He also teases a match with Maff and going back after the ROH Title. GMC tries to get info out of him about the locker room issue with Homicide and Smokes last show after being unsuccessful getting info out of Cide earlier, but GMC shuts him down on that as well and says that’s none of his concern.
A recap airs of the Special K beatdown on the Backseats and the ensuing rave last show.
Match #7: Special K (Angel Dust, Dixie, Hydro & Mikey Whipwreck) vs. The SAT & Backseat Boyz [Tag Scramble]
This was what it was. I don’t get why/how the SAT are still around. Special K botch a lot in this, maybe too much this time around as it stops serving as a gimmick attribute and starts just making it a bad match. These guys try the quadruple suplex spot and they fuck it up so bad. One of the SATs whiff on a superkick and accidentally hit Acid, which allows Mikey to hit Acid with the Whippersnapper to win.
*
Post-match, the Backseats are pissed so they beat down the SATs to a pop. Please be the end of these assholes the SATs.
Match #8: Jeff Hardy vs. Joey Matthews vs. Krazy K
This is a very famous, very bad match. Jeff had apparently reached out to ROH following his WWE release some weeks prior and was a fan of their shows so he asked to work a match. Something must’ve gone on, or maybe they just responded to the poor reaction it got, because there’s zero mention to hype this appearance up before this show or even during it, and that’s really not like ROH. We all know Jeff’s story by now. This is the peak of his first heavy foray into drugs/drinking/being a fuck up/refusing help, so it’s a lost cause and he’s pretty much useless sans a few TNA matches until his initial clean up so he could return to WWE in 2006 for his career defining run. Anyway. The match was awful. Hardy came out in his Willow the Wisp mask and a trench coat. A large portion of the male fans in attendance were showering him with “YOU GOT FIRED!”, “FUCK YOU JEFF” and “WE WANT MATT” chants, as this was also at the tail end of the peak of the Mattitude run. Hardy looks fucked up. Not like Victory Road 2011 fucked up, but probably fucked up enough that he shouldn’t be performing. At the same time while there’s a negative reaction, there’s also a large female contingent (which is super rare for an indie show back then) that seem to have only come to this show because Jeff is here. I mean they’re vocal the entire time in support of Jeff. Whoever this Krazy K guy is, he sucks too. Would’ve probably been better to just make this Jeff vs Joey so Joey could try and lead Jeff through it. Jeff also works half the match in this ridiculous trench coat. They keep throwing Jeff out of the ring so they can try and work a normal match. Meanwhile, Gabe shows he destined for WWE dicksuckdom by saying the fans are being the weird ones for booing Jeff, and he spends his time on commentary putting Jeff over (which, incase you’ve never seen an ROH show, commentary was all done in post production days later, so this is clearly Gabe pouting about the fans loudly rejecting something he thought would rule). Mercifully, this isn’t that long. Hardy hits a decent enough Swanton on K to win. Good news for Konnan, as he doesn’t hold the distinction of worst ROH match ever anymore.
1/4*
A mostly comprehensive recap of the Punk/Raven feud airs.
NOTHING FROM NOWHERE, I’M NO ONE AT ALL.
RADIATE, RECOGNIZE ONE SILENT CALL.
AS WE AAAAAAALL FOOOORM OOOONE DAAAARK FLAAAAME.
Punk is out and gets a pretty big time feeling entrance. I don’t know if this is the first time Miseria Cantare was used, but it was the first time I truly noticed it. Punk has the mic and asks the fans how it feels to be in a building that doesn't sell alcohol and asks if everyone is okay not being drunk? Personally, he's doing great. He's doing so much better than everyone else here tonight, but they know that. They've done this before. These people were led down the wrong path, and he's not mad at them, he just feels sorry for them. Raven took them by the collar and led them down the road to ruin. Raven is just like his lousy drunk father and asks where being extreme ever got Raven. He says he saw someone who had to buy a ticket to get in probably and points out Danny Doring in the back of the building. He asks where he ever went and they find him in the crowd and he drinks a beer. Security sends him to the back and Punk tries to get security to let him pass but they won’t. Punk says that beer has never and will never touch his lips, therefore, he is better than him! He says he ends the misery tonight but Raven comes out. Punk bails from the ring and does some heel stalling shit. He asks Raven how many drinks he had today and says maybe they don’t even need to have this match. The crowd starts a CM PUSSY chant and to shut them up Punk gets in and gets chained up and it’s ON.
Match #9: CM Punk vs. Raven [Dog Collar Match]
This was everything you would want it to be. Brutal, violent, nasty and bloody. Punk bleeds a TON early. They have a fantastic brawl into the crowd and work around spots using the chain that comes across great. Raven controls a large portion of this early on when Punk was stalling and evading. But Punk’s comeback has him doing some real good heel work to both punish Raven and keep the crowd hot with this long segment + match + segment. They make their way back into the ring and Raven makes a fiery comeback while still selling like he’s out on his feet. He avoids a charge from Punk and it turns into a ref bump, but then Raven catches Punk to hit the Evenflow, BUT THERE’S NO REF! Colt Cabana runs out and attacks Raven, hitting him with a DDT on a chair. DANNY DORING NOW GETS TO HOP THE RAILING AND HE BEATS DOWN COLT AND CHASES HIM AWAY! But the damage is done, and Punk crawls to cover Raven and win!
***1/2
Post-match, Punk grabs medical tape and, with Raven standing on the floor, he tapes Raven’s arms out in a crucifix position on the bottom rope. He grabs a mic and something we can’t see yet and brags about the win, and says it’s back to irrelevancy for Raven, but before he gets there, there’s gonna be a quick stop at rehab. He then reveals the beer in his hand and pours it from the ring down onto Raven. BUT THEN TOMMY DREAMER COMES IN FROM OUT OF NOWHERE WITH A CHAIR! AND HE’S IN A HOOTERS BASEBALL JERSEY. Punk turns and Dreamer WALLOPS him with a steel chair and then a DDT. Then Dreamer ties Punk into a crucifix position on the ropes. He then goes and frees Raven, and TOMMY AND RAVEN HUG, CONTINUING WHERE THEY LEFT OFF IN ECW 2000. Raven grabs a mic and welcomes Punk to the dark side, and says he IS his father, Luke. Raven says what just happened doesn’t matter, he was never that good at staying on the wagon anyways. But he asks if Punk’s never even tried a beer before? Punk yells don’t you FUCKING dare. Raven punches him to shut him up, and Tommy opens up another beer Sandman style to a big pop, AND RAVEN POURS THE BEER DOWN PUNK’S THROAT! AND THEN ANOTHER! Raven & Tommy celebrate to “Man in the Box” and they leave. Punk eventually frees himself and he immediately beats up the two referees for not helping and even shoves the camera man down. Incredible stuff.
In the back, Paul London cuts an overly long promo about this being his last night and highlighting some of his favorite moments, and says no matter what he goes on to do, even if it’s wrestling in stadiums or large dome arenas, he’ll never forget what ROH has given him and he thanks everyone.
And this is a reminder that despite being with the company for the majority of the 2000’s, being a former Cruiserweight Champion, a multi time tag champion, AND being (at least at the time) part of the second longest reigning tag champs in company history, SOMEHOW, Paul London never appeared on WrestleMania.
A recap of the last two AJ/Red vs. Briscoes matches air. Matches that AJ/Red won clean and decisively, so while I have zero issue with these two teams facing off in what will assuredly be a fantastic match, creatively I’m not sure I get why this is happening. Gabe does mention on commentary that a stip was added where if Red/Styles win, the Briscoes won’t get another shot while they’re champs, and if the Briscoes win, they are not required to give AJ/Red a rematch. So then this seems like a prime set up to turn the Briscoes heel and have them win?
This is also apparently the end of Red really being relevant. He’s got a bad knee injury that he takes time off for but never gets the surgery on, and it ends up hampering the rest of his career. Damn shame.
Match #10: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (c) vs. The Briscoes [ROH Tag Team Championship]
They get more time than I thought they would considering the injury, and the injury is brought up on commentary. I have to hand it to Red for committing to the bit of just being unable to sell anything but exhaustion, because the Briscoes work the bad knee, Red is legit hurt, and he still doesn’t sell it. Fantastic commitment. I liked the evolution of the story in these three matches as the Briscoes discovered themselves as a team and really began to develop. The first match they came across inexperienced and unbalanced, the second match they knew just a bit more and came close to winning, and in this match they dominate and are extra violent with Red especially, so logically, this should be where they’ve figured it out and beat the champs? Plus it gives Red time off? Right? Right? Welp. Red cuts off the Jay Driller attempt on AJ with a Climbing Wizard and then AJ hits Jay with the Styles Clash to win and retain. lmao. Match was good but far inferior to the first two matches they had.
**3/4
Another pretape airs from Cornette. But fuck him I’m not recapping it. It’s like the same thing he said last show anyway except he says he’ll be at ROH’s debut in Dayton, OH on 8/9.
A recap airs of the last few months for both London and Joe.
Big entrances and big introductions. London is emotional during his and he even gets the streamers!
Right before the bell rings, some fan yells something nasty towards London signing with WWE and the crowd boo’s him out of existence.
Match #11: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Paul London [ROH World Championship]
London controls the flow of this match. Instead of focusing on a body part or building up to something like he did with Danielson and Styles, he actively tries to go for the flash pins to beat Joe as this seems to be a sure fire way to get the job done if you can catch him. But since he does that in lieu of any real body work, Joe doesn’t get worn down enough despite all the MOVEZ~ and once he catches London, he makes him pay dearly. Great, great brutal shit from Joe. The strikes are especially great, and he even gets in his now commonplace running facewash while seated on the outside. London does mount a comeback and again tries the roll ups. He eventually hits the London Star Press, but it’s not enough to get the job done. He does a good job at avoiding the Choke, and then even fighting against it once Joe locks it in, but he eventually can’t fight it anymore and Joe chokes him out to retain.
***
Post-match, London gets the big goodbye ceremony. A large majority of the roster and staff come into the ring to parade him around and the crowd cheers. He gives a speech and what not. Rudy Boy is there. Everyone leaves to give him his moment as he waves goodbye and kisses the logo on the mat.
Backstage, Raven is standing behind a chain link fence. He says he finds it ironic that for 2.5 years, Tommy Dreamer could not pin him no matter what he did, and now he’s suffering the same fate against CM Punk. He’s faced him four times and he’s been beaten four times. And the outside help and interference is no excuse for him. He did get some revenge tonight when he poured that beer down Punk’s throat, the first time beer ever touched his lips. That’s how the addiction all starts, and that amuses him. Paybacks are hell, and speaking of hell, Punk has not suffered enough. He’s an arrogant piece of SHIT. So he wants Punk inside of a steel cage. He will have his victory. He promises that. He will beat CM Punk inside of a steel cage if he has the sack to face him. Welcome to Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun. Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.
Out in the Rexplex as the ring is being taken apart, the Carnage Crew talk about a 4th of July BBQ that was at Loc’s house. The chicken was good but their wives sucked, etc. Credible asks Loc if his wife is easy and DeVito says of course she is. They say the best part of the party is when they left to go to the nudie bar. Hell yeah. They brag about the weapons match tonight, not caring they lost, etc. you know, play the hits. They bring misery into other lives just like they have it every day. With their ugly wives and nagging kids. Loc says there's some other kids around here with no respect who get everything handed to them. Loc says he drives a 1985 Ford Escort and it has the hubcap held on with a coathanger type gimmick. These Special K kids get brand new BMW keys when they turn 16. That's no justice. Devito says they have issues with Special K. Mikey is a crippled old man, and Credible says he's seen some amazing athletes in ROH, but Special K is a damn joke. He then says the Carnage Crew has just become just incredible. NUDIE BAR. LET'S GO. This gimmick covers a very specific type of person that I know, that we all know, who mainly existed from the late 90s thru the early 2010s, but are definitely still around to this day. I can’t think of a word to describe it. It just simply is.
Christopher Daniels cuts a final pretape from Japan recapping the whole night. Lotta nothing happening here except he says when he returns to America he’s targeting the #1 contenders trophy and he will get the belt from Joe.
And lastly, Colt Cabana is in “the locker room” (it appears to be an office inside the Rexplex) with Punk, who’s got his head down. Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein comes in and really starts hassling them to try and get an interview to fill out the last of the tape. Cabana tries to tell him it’s not a good time. Feinstein finally mentions that Raven cut an interview where he’s challenged Punk to a cage match. Punk’s head shoots up and he shoves RF to the floor. He moves at him and RF crawls backwards. Punk asks if he saw what he did to him? If he thinks this is funny? He says he doesn’t care what Raven’s price is, how much it costs to bring him in, where it has to happen even if it’s on another planet, you make the fucking match happen. Nobody does that to him and gets away with it. Nobody.
That show was obnoxiously long. Took me three viewings to fully get through. Zero reason it has to be almost five hours on tape. Live in person? Sure. Whatever. On tape? Fuck off. Die.
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