Tuesday, May 21, 2024

ROH END OF THE YEAR AWARDS - 2003


Just like after I completed reviewing ROH 2002 (Check it out here!), I am again doing the ROH END OF THE YEAR AWARDS 2003! Because I am wholly unoriginal. I used to do these on the old BQ board after my WCW and ECW reviews in a more condensed fashion, and of course, the style was copped entirely from the OG Simon (@elhijodelsimon / @handwerkreviews over on Twitter). Let’s see where 2003 has taken us!

SHOW OF THE YEAR

To note, in order to come up with these rankings, I simply took the total sum of the match ratings and divided it by the number of actual reviewed matches (e.g. – stuff like the Bunkhouse Riot which was great but unrateable or some of those mostly clipped pre-show matches that usually featured the very shitty Slyk Wagner Brown, things like that won’t count.)


#3: ROH: RETRIBUTION: ROUND ROBIN CHALLENGE II – 4/26/2003 (2.45 Star Avg.)
This show came smack dab in the middle of a really hot run for ROH in 2003. ROH felt like it had finally found itself in those first 5-6 months of 2003 as things were cooking mostly up and down the entire card. Even the bad stuff wasn’t always otherworldly bad. Joe had just won the belt, ending the dark times of Xavier’s reign, and AJ/Red were having exciting matches as the tag champs. On top of that, we were in the middle of the Prophecy/Group feud and in the early stages of Corino/Homicide. This show itself featured a sequel to the previous years round robin challenge, this team having Chris Daniels, Paul London and Amazing Red squaring off. While none of the three matches in this year’s tournament were as great as 2002’s, they were still very good and again had a collective story flow throughout them. Elsewhere, Punk and Homicide square off for the first time for the #1 contenders trophy in a great bout, and in the true surprise of the show, the Carnage Crew & Masada took on Hernandez, Fast Eddie and Don Juan in a Fight Without Honor that absolutely stole the show. It was brutal, it was violent, and it was bloody as hell. Lastly, while the main event of Joe defending the belt of Doug Williams wound up being underwhelming, it was still fucking Joe vs. Doug Williams in 2003. A fine show.


#2: ROH: MAIN EVENT SPECTACLES – 11/1/2003 (2.60 Star Avg.)
The first half of this show is very tame and a bit boring. The Field of Honor tournament continued, an anger inducing match of Xavier/Nigel vs. THE PURISTS~ took place, there was a Justin Credible singles match against Gabe’s latest overpushed pet project and the Briscoes won the tag belts in a fine enough match. The cringiest part was the FIGHTING SPIRIT~ match between Homicide and BJ. The rules were stupid, the match was presented even stupider, and worst of all – BJ Whitmer was the first person to kick out of the Cop Killa. You’d think we’d be on the road to an all time bad ROH show. But then the second half of this show kicks off with one of the craziest things you’ll ever see in the extremely infamous Scramble Cage Match featuring Teddy Hart and Jack Evans, among other teams. Not only was the match infamous, but it spurned a lot of controversy in its wake (which you can read about HERE!). And just as you come down from that, you get one of ROH’s better four corner survival matches to this point with Punk/Corino/Joe/Daniels! Of course, it has a disputed finish and there’s ZERO follow up with it, but that’s to be expected with Gabe at the helm at this point, I suppose. AND THEN THE MAIN EVENT, my god, the rematch of AJ Styles and Bryan Danielson and they blow the roof off the joint. This was also the match that includes the famous WHAT THE FUCK DO YOU KNOW ABOUT PRO WRESTLING? moment from Dragon. This show’s review also wound up being the most viewed entry on BustedQuad thanks to some help from SHIMMER legend Nicole Matthews!


#1: ROH: NIGHT OF CHAMPIONS – 3/22/2003 (2.63 Star Avg.)
While it’s one of the weaker shows of the year in terms of angles/storylines, it’s far and away the best wrestling show of the year for the company. Christopher Daniels and Doug Williams tore the house down for both the FWA World Championship and the ROH #1 Contenders Trophy, Homicide and Da Hit Squad faced off with The Group led by Samoa Joe, Low Ki got a GREAT match out of Jody Fleisch, and AJ/Red had one of the best tag team matches I’ve ever seen out of the Briscoes. And to top all things off, Samoa Joe ended the torturous reign of Xavier while also getting the best match of Xavier’s ROH run out of him! Outside of a few low level things, this show rocked from top to bottom and deserves this honor, without question.

MATCH OF THE YEAR

First off, let’s start off with some honorable mentions outside of the top ten and/or some “hell yeah brother” style recommendations. 

Honorable Mentions/Hell Yeah Brother Watches:

  • Backseat Boyz vs. Carnage Crew vs. The SAT vs. Special K vs. Teddy Hart/Jack Evans, Scramble Cage – ROH Main Event Spectacles, 11/1/2003
  • CM Punk vs. Raven, Dog Collar Match – ROH Death Before Dishonor, 7/19/2003
  • AJ Styles vs. Low Ki vs. Paul London, #1 Contender’s Trophy – ROH One Year Anniversary, 2/8/2003
  • Samoa Joe © vs. Homicide, ROH Title – ROH Do or Die, 5/31/2003
  • Homicide/Dusty Rhodes/Julius Smokes/Iceberg/Louie Ramos/Becky Bayless vs. Jack Victory/CW Anderson/David Young/Bar Room Brawler/Guillotine LeGrande/Simply Luscious, Unsanctioned I Quit Bunkhouse Riot Match – ROH Epic Encounter, 4/12/2003

And now for the Top Ten…

10. AJ Styles vs. Paul London, #1 Contender’s Trophy – ROH Night of the Grudges, 6/14/2003

9. Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe – ROH One Year Anniversary, 2/8/2003

8. Christopher Daniels © vs. Doug Williams, FWA World Title / #1 Contender’s Trophy – ROH Night of Champions, 3/22/2003

7. Bryan Danielson vs. Paul London, 2 Out Of 3 Falls – ROH Epic Encounter, 4/12/2003

6. Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe – ROH Revenge on the Prophecy, 1/11/2003


5. AJ Styles vs. Bryan Danielson, #1 Contender’s Trophy – ROH Main Event Spectacles, 11/1/2003

4. AJ Styles/Amazing Red © vs. The Briscoes, ROH Tag Titles – ROH Night of Champions, 3/22/2003


3. Steve Corino vs. Homicide, No Ropes Barbed Wire – ROH War of the Wire, 11/29/2003


2. Samoa Joe © vs. AJ Styles, ROH World Championship – ROH War of the Wire, 11/29/2003


1. Steve Corino vs. Homicide, No Holds Barred – ROH Bitter Friends, Stiffer Enemies, 8/16/2003


TAG TEAM OF THE YEAR

Hey, you know the drill, man. 

#5: The SAT [17.50 pts.]


#4: Special K (Izzy/Dixie) [20.25 pts.]


#3: Backseat Boyz [22.50 pts.]


#2: Carnage Crew [24.25 pts.]


#1: The Briscoes [25.00 pts.]


ODDS & ENDS

Some loose superlatives before we wrap up with Wrestler of the Year:

Least Favorite Match: Da Hit Squad, Divine Storm, The SAT & Mikey Whipwreck vs. Special K, Scramble Match – ROH One Year Anniversary, 2/8/2003

Worst Cameo: TIE – Jeff Hardy and Konnan

Interview/Promo of the Year: CM Punk @ WrestleRave ’03, and it’s not even close. A generational moment.

Cringiest Worked Shoot/Reality Based Moment: Gullitone LeGrande calling “Brandon” for tips on Corino/Homicide

Stable of the Year: It COULD be The Group, based on star power. It SHOULD be the Prophecy, based on longevity. But fuck that…it’s Special K, yet again!

WRESTLER OF THE YEAR

Again, this is self explanatory, so yeah.

#10: Mark Briscoe – [37.00 pts.]


#9: Jay Briscoe – [38.00 pts.]


#8: TIE – Tony DeVito / HC Loc – [41.00 pts.]


#7: Dan Maff – [44.25 pts.]


#6: TIE – Colt Cabana / BJ Whitmer – [46.00 pts.]


#5: Christopher Daniels – [48.75 pts.]


#4: CM Punk – [53.75 pts.]


#3: AJ Styles – [55.75 pts.]


#2: Homicide – [61.75 pts.]


#1: Samoa Joe – [69.50 pts.]


END OF THE YEAR ANALYSIS

This was a strange year for Ring of Honor. I am totally understanding of the growing pains any company is going to face in its second year, and I am also aware that you need what happens in 2003 to set up for the incredible ride I’m apparently about to go on from 2004-2007. But this isn’t a blog post about those years, or even about company growth. This is about 2003, and that’s that. And what’s what? 2003 wasn’t really as great as I had hoped. There *are* moments of unbelievable highs like the Corino/Homicide feud, Punk’s growth, Joe’s run, the Briscoes getting it together, Bryan’s occasional appearance and AJ Styles as maybe the unquestioned best in the world. 

But 2003 is also showcase to a lot of the faults and cracks in Gabe’s booking that I was afraid of going into this project. He didn’t learn all of Paul E’s bad qualities, but he also didn’t inherit all of his good qualities either. Gabe’s obsession with trying to get a Pure Wrestling division over would be admirable if he had done it with literally almost any other group of technical wrestlers around at the time. But when you center a good portion of your programming on guys like Matt Stryker, Chad Collyer, BJ Whitmer, Xavier, John Walters, etc, you can’t be shocked when the crowd rejects it as harshly as they did. 

Much like it’s pseudo-predecessor, ECW, ROH has an ability to make new stars unlike any other promotion of its size (or maybe even bigger) during this timeframe. So when you’ve got guys organically getting over like Punk, Homicide, London, Cabana, you should be able to look at things logically as a booker and realize the aforementioned “Pure Wrestling” group you’re getting behind clearly do not have what these other guys have. 

Thankfully, it does seem like Gabe reboots the idea of the Pure Division and lets off SOME of his obsession with “technical wrestling” as we head in to 2004, which I know sounds ironic since I’m about 2 months away from the Pure Title tournament. But that tournament features a final of AJ Styles vs. CM Punk, which is such a far cry from the Field of Honor tournament final of BJ Whitmer vs. Matt Stryker, it’s not even fucking funny. Like it actually gets me mad to see Gabe clearly knew the right way of doing things, but constantly wanted to book his obsession over what worked in these early years. 

But I can’t be too mad, because like I said earlier, I’m about to go one hell of a ride in 2004-2007, and I can’t wait.

ROH FINAL BATTLE 2003

Pennsylvania National Guard Armory
Philadelphia, PA
December 27th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 8 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 3 Defenses)


On the un-broadcasted pre-show, the Briscoes successfully defended the Tag Titles against The SAT.  

Backstage, GMC is chatting with the camera guy about something he wrote about Jim Cornette in his book. Carnage Crew storm over and flip out asking where Special K is. They reference something that happened on the preshow. GMC tries to get answers but the Crew want answers first on Special K’s whereabouts. GMC says he’ll try to find them. 

Out in the ring before the show, Samoa Joe is standing by with the first ever edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. He kind of talks in circles for a minute before Oman Tortuga interrupts him because he’s the guest. He thinks this is supposed to be like Cabana’s show. But Joe says instead he wants to show the viewers at home some of the techniques the wrestlers use. Oman’s confused and before he can react, Joe takes him down with an over the shoulder throw and traps him in The Choke. He says what makes his choke the best is putting his other hand BEHIND the head and pushing forward, instead of just resting it on top, and says that's what makes them turn purple, and this is what happens to Mark Briscoe tonight in Philadelphia. Joe lets Oman go and he runs away screaming. Joe says that's not how he wanted to end it, but hey. Tonight, Mark Briscoe meets him, Samoa Joe. Your ROH World Champion.

On commentary at the start of the first match, it’s announced that on the first show of 2004, the Briscoes will defend the tag titles against Joe & Danielson!

Match #1: Bryan Danielson vs. Jay Briscoe
This was great! Good, solid exchanges in the early goings. Jay tries to keep up with Danielson, and in order to stay on top of him, Jay has to lock in every hold he applies super snug, using all of his weight against Bryan. Bryan’s able to escape but lacks the opportunities to do anything that could really catch Jay off guard and swing momentum in his favor due to the way Jay’s working him. There’s a fun moment a little past half way through where they’ve both frustrated each other so much they slap and spit at each other. Fuck yeah. From there, Jay uses his anger to start lobbing bombs at Bryan in hopes of wearing him down and ending this quick. But Bryan’s got him beat in that department, and just launches every thing he’s got. Jay can’t match it and starts to wear down. Bryan hits a Dragon Suplex and Jay gets the big kick out but literally immediately Bryan turns it into the Cattle Mutilation and gets the win. 
***1/2

Backstage, a pissed off Jay Briscoe is walking and Trent Acid approaches him. He kind of jabs him about the loss and then says the Backseats want a shot for THEIR tag titles back. Briscoe says he knows Cornette’s his manager and to go through his office and he walks off. 

Match #2: John Walters vs. Xavier [Fight Without Honor]
Well, it took months, but they finally had a good enough match. And yes it’s obviously because they were able to depend on the ooh’s and aah’s of a hardcore based match. They break out all the plunder — chairs, tables, ladders. It’s nothing otherworldly, all standard fare by this day and age’s matches, but it’s perfectly fine for the time. Plus Xavier gets color! The crowd still can’t fully buy into either of these guys which is really funny in Xavier’s case but it’s still a passable reaction. It gets sloppy at the end with shit like Walters randomly climbing up the ladder like he didn’t realize this wasn’t a ladder match or some shit. Plus there was a NASTY lungblower spot off of the ladder. Nana is suddenly at ringside and getting into it with the referee. But even with him out there and clearly helping Xavier, Walters still gets the win off of a shitty sunset flip. Not sure I understand the point of making Nana your new heel manager for Xavier, having him get involved and then having Xavier lose? Like yes the feud called for a Walters win. So then Nana should’ve been added the previous match, or waited til after this program was over. Dumb.
**3/4

Post match, Walters cuts a bland promo about their feud. Nana takes the mic to introduce Xavier as the first member of his EMBASSY. YEAH! Nana ensures that Xavier is no longer a part of the Prophecy and to show this, Xavier admits respect for Walters and shakes his hand. Should be a big moment but nobody gives a fuck about these two. 

Match #3: Matt Stryker vs. BJ Whitmer [Field of Honor Tournament Finals]
This was bad. So bad. BJ can be average more often than not and guided to pretty good stuff when he’s in there with someone who can actually structure a match properly, even a little bit. But in this case, he’s forced into a 20 minute slog with a dude who’s touted as a technician but is a cover band, at best. This was doomed to fail and, obviously, kills the idea off. Which is a shame because the idea of a tournament like this is perfectly fine - NJPW has done it for decades, AEW just did it in 2023. But when 75% of the dudes you put in it are complete ASS, regardless of how much Gabe likes to pound off to bland “shooter” wannabes like Stryker and Walters and Collyer, it’s going to fail. In reading, this whole tournament was designed as a launching pad for Stryker. As shown other times in wrestling history, booking something this big solely to get one guy over is almost always going to fail (Brawl for All, Survivor Series 2015, Mayhem 1999, etc). But unlike those examples, this one doesn’t even have a dude who can recover. Stryker is not talented. It’s simple as that. He would’ve never made TV in any major company. This feels like the first major failure in ROH’s run. There’s been other smaller level failures but they caught themselves early and brought the nose up. This was a full 12 months of pushing this goof, and the push would’ve probably continued if this didn’t get shit on so bad. The crowd is dead for this. They trade loose limb work back and forth to show the technical aspect this tournament was designed for, and while the limb work is harmless, neither man can sell to save their lives. So fuck this. Just gotta move on. Stryker wins with the Stryker Lock and the crowd only pops because the match is over. Zero reaction for Stryker being declared the victor. Good.
*1/2

Match #4: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Mark Briscoe [ROH World Championship]
Joe comes into this like a bolt of lightning and just lays into Mark almost instantaneously. Joe goes for the ole ole kick on the outside but Mark dives out of the way and gains control of the match via pure speed. Joe has to catch him and slow this down to a better pace for him to maintain control. This wasn’t a squash in a bad way. This was a designed squash to fit the Briscoes/Joe story and it worked so well. Every time Mark got a little bit of offense in, Joe would just come back at him twice as hard. He’d work him to the mat and just get brutal as hell strikes in while he was doing it. Jay comes out to lend his brother support at one point and Joe dives out onto him to wipe him out. Mark keeps trying to make comebacks til the very end but Joe eventually slaps him down and locks on The Choke for the win. A fucking blast.
***

Post match, Jay helps Mark to the back. AND HERE COMES CM PUNK. He grabs a mic and says now that the B show part of this card is over, and before they move on to the more important ROH/AJPW stuff, he’s out here to make good on his promise of ruining this show until he gets answers. BUT JOE COMES OVER AND PIE FACES PUNK. Joe says that unless Punk is here to fight him, shut the fuck up. He warns him not to EVER disrespect this belt, this ring or HIM ever again. Joe & Punk get into a stare down and the crowd is hot. Punk takes the mic back and says he’s not here to disrespect Joe, but his part of the show is over, so he thinks Joe should get out of *HIS* ring, BECAUSE HE’S HERE TO CALL OUT CHRISTOPHER DANIELS. Joe snatches the mic back and tells Punk he doesn’t get it. If he doesn’t leave the ring right now, he’s going to have 99 problems and that bitch Daniels won’t be one of them. 

Joe slowly moves in on Punk and corners him. Punk delays briefly but eventually gets out on to the apron and down on to the floor. Joe and Punk keep eyes locked. And as SOON as Joe leaves the ring, PUNK RUSHES TO GET BACK IN. Joe eyes him up from the entryway, BUT THE PROPHECY IS OUT AND THEY ATTACK JOE! So Punk rushes from the ring to go after Daniels. Maff and Joe brawl to the back while Daniels and Punk brawl into the ring. Daniels gets the best of it and sets up the Angels Wings. But Cabana runs out and attacks Daniels from behind to save Punk!

Punk and Cabana beat Daniels down, and then Punk grabs a towel and starts choking Allison Danger. Cabana gets on the apron to hook Daniels back into the ropes while Punk grabs a mic and threatens to break Allison’s neck if Daniels doesn’t cop to hurting Lucy. Daniels finally screams OKAY. FINE. THE PROPHECY DID IT. IT WAS THE PROPHECY ALL ALONG!

And WHACK. From out of nowhere, BJ Whitmer nails Cabana in the back with a steel chair! Punk let’s go of Danger and bails to the floor. Daniels grabs a mic and reveals it was BJ Whitmer that took out Lucy, and Whitmer is the newest member of the Prophecy! Punk helps Cabana up and screams that he’s going to fucking kill Whitmer. Whitmer grabs the mic and tells Punk that he didn’t forget about Punk trying to end his career here in Philly back in March, and Daniels says this plan has been in motion since then.

Maff comes back out and looks confused as to what’s going on. He grabs a mic and asks Daniels what the hell is going on? Maff had no idea about any of this, and says that by doing this, Daniels made him inadvertently lie when he swore TWICE on his dead father that they had nothing to do with this. Gabe also mentions Maff and Whitmer having tension from their “series of matches” in 2003. Daniels tries talking sense into Maff and eventually has to flip out on him, promising him it had to be done this way and it was all a part of the greater good. Maff eventually relents and throws up the Prophecy hand gesture with the rest of them and then they all pose. 

Incredible segment.

Backstage for intermission, and GMC is with the Briscoes. Mark says he stood up to Joe and took everything he got. He also mentions loss or not, they still got the tag belts. Jay then says Joe wants to choose a partner again to take the belts from them, but with Jim Cornette's guidance, they're the best tag team on the planet. They took all his beatings, and they outsmarted him and gave the beatings right back. Joe can get whoever he wants to come try. The Briscoes leave but the Carnage Crew run up on GMC again. They ask what he knows about Special K now after giving him half the show. He says they're supposed to be on Cabana's show later tonight. 

Match #5: Second City Saints (ROH) vs. Tumeric Storm (Tomoaki Honma/Kazushi Miyamoto) (AJPW)
By all accounts, Honma goes on to be pretty good but they both kind of stink here in this match. This isn’t seasoned vet Saints, so they’re not fully capable of carrying an inferior team to something really good. There’s some good exchanges in the middle as the Saints work over Miyamoto before Honma’s admittedly good hot tag. But there’s just not a lot else going on here. Punk hits the Pepsi Plunge on Honma to win, and it’s ROH - 1, AJPW - 0. 
**

Punk joins commentary for the last few matches.

Match #6: AJ Styles (ROH) vs. Kaz Hayashi (AJPW)
This is 15 minutes of pants shitting fun. There’s a fun story they work where Styles and Kaz have met once before, in a tag match on WCW, and in that match, Styles used the Styles Clash for the first time on Hayashi. I remember them facing off, I don’t remember or know if that last bit is true though. Anyway, they work this with Kaz wanting to get his win back these years later and also put over how the Styles Clash could instantly end it. It builds up from the start really well with trading of movez n’ holdz to establish a pace. In keeping up with the story they’re trying to tell, Hayashi has a lot of counters for Styles offense and does everything he can to avoid a Clash, and in a really nice touch, Kaz continuously reverses or finds ways out of the Styles Clash specifically. So Styles has to get creative, and being that this is “very beginning of his prime” AJ, he can do just that. He hits a series of huricanranas and on the last one, he rolls through like it’s gonna be a pin BUT SINCE HE HAS KAZ HOOKED HES ABLE TO LIFT HIM AND SURPRISE HIM WITH A STYLES CLASH TO WIN! 
***1/4

Post match, they shake hands and Kaz respectfully asks AJ if they can wrestle again. 

As the next match starts, Gabe notes that Homicide and Low Ki had a sit down behind the scenes, and Low Ki showed his trainer the proper respect and they’ve mended fences. Probably important. Ki is in Cide’s corner for this along with Smokes and Mack. 

Match #7: Homicide (ROH) vs. Satoshi Kojima (AJPW)
KOJIMA KOJIMA KOJIMA. LARIAT LARIAT LARIAT. This starts off really good. Stiff strikes and all that. But fairly early on, Homicide eats a belly to belly on the floor and lands on his head, and it kinda throws off most of the rest of the match. Which is a shame not just for people watching it but this dude is Cide’s idol. Kojima does a lot of fun stuff including a corner attack on Cide and the ref stopping him, but Kojima saying he doesn’t speak English, so he keeps the attack going and the ref starts counting him out and Kojima then yells at him in perfect English. Fun bit. This obviously doesn’t go as long as intended. Homicide does get the big honor of kicking out of Kojima’s lariat, so that’s huge. A second lariat by Kojima ends things though.
**1/2

Post match, Homicide is still dazed but shakes hands with Kojima. Kojima grabs the mic and politely thanks the fans for having him because he is somehow the nicest man in wrestling across many decades. 

Jerry Lynn cuts a pretape. Gross. Very nasty. He says some words about the newly announced Pure Title and the tournament to crown the champ. And he says he wants in because Pure Wrestling is what he’s about. Fuck off. 

Gabe informs Punk as the next match starts that it is official and it’ll be The Prophecy vs The Saints in a six man tag at the next show.

So it’s 2-1 ROH, and there’s only one match left, and it has Muta in it, so lol. 

Match #8: The Prophecy (Daniels/Maff) (ROH) vs. The Great Muta/Arashi (AJPW) 
Never heard of Arashi, but he stinks! And what’s worse is that this is a totally mailed in performance by Muta, so Arashi’s left carrying the load and fails miserably. Daniels & Maff are basically here to do a sell job for a legendary wrestler, and they do fine at it. But the few chances they get to throw anything back, Muta just no sells it. And not really in a cool way. Just in a dickish, didn’t really wanna be here kinda way. The whole layout though is boring and predictable. Would’ve rather have seen a card without Muta on it if this is the case. And then hilariously, Daniels is the one to drop the fall to Muta after the Shining Wizard. SO dumb. He just had a huge angle not even 90 minutes ago that kept him hot and now you beat him with a dude that won’t ever be here again. Gabe is a fucking dunce.
*

So the series ends at 2-2, because nothing means anything in ROH. Draws with no follow up, round robin ending in ties, inter promotional  match series ending in ties. I mean the very easy solution here is to not book this as a “Best of” series. You making this Best Of series is not adding any additional butts in seats or DVD buys. This is 2003/04. Fucking dope.

LIVE FROM CHICAGO, IT’S GOOD TIMES, GREAT MEMORIES. Colt says CM Punk will be on a little bit later, but first, he brings on Special K! Colt greets them and asks what their story is with all the partying. Dixie says it's not his problem that his dad has money and his mom has money. Hydro says people are just jealous. Becky then saunters in late and Cabana makes her sit in a chair so he can look down her shirt. Oh. AND THEN THE CARNAGE CREW RUNS ON AND ATTACKS SPECIAL K! They run off and Devito says this is no joke. He has a 13 year old daughter and she didn't come home the other night. She walks in at 8 am and looks like hell. She went to a rave, got slipped ecstasy, and now their lifestyle is in his fucking family. His wife might be lazy, might not cook, clean, vacuum, or do dishes. His kids might nag, but they're his. Loc says this is no longer about whipping their asses to teach respect. They're going to kill them. So wait is the implication that Special K got his daughter high? Or just that she did drugs and now he’s mad at people that do drugs?

Elsewhere, the Prophecy are together backstage. Maff says he's been kept in the dark too long now. He says he and BJ have been kicking each other's ass all year (they have?) so what gives? BJ asks what his deal is and Maff says he swore on his father's grave they had nothing to do with Lucy. Daniels steps in and says he NEVER told him to do that. He appreciates everything he's done, but this is HIS show. This is his play and he HAS to follow it. The camera man decides to pretend like he’s ready to go (even though the cameras been on the whole time, I hate this shit) counts them down for the group promo. Daniels says one year ago, this Group came around and said they were going to take ROH over, hold all the titles and power, and take out The Prophecy. Within six months, they were done, because of the Prophecy. A year ago, they had all the titles and all the power. He and Donovan Morgan ran the tag team division, but now he's off in Japan. He recruited a blue chip prospect in Danny Maff, and his heart and guts won the Group war. He is their backbone and Maff says he has his loyalty. And now that Xavier has decided he's out, he got another blue chipper to get them to the next level, and that's BJ Whitmer. BJ says he has his loyalty and he knows he'll take him to the next level. Daniels says in a stroke of genius, they killed two birds with one stone. Not only did they get rid of Lucy and send a message to the Second City Saints, but they got BJ at the same time. BJ says he hates the Saints. He'll never forget what CM Punk tried to do to him and him running his mouth on commentary all year. Daniels says in a year, they will once again hold all the power and all the titles. And once again, ROH will once again worship the ground he walks on. And that is not is not a promise, that is not a threat, that is the gospel according to the word of the Fallen Angel. 

UP NEXT: THE END OF THE YEAR AWARDS!

Friday, May 3, 2024

ROH: WAR OF THE WIRE - 11/29/2003

Framingham State College
Framingham, MA
November 29th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 7 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 1 Defenses)

ROH doesn’t really do/have a WrestleMania/Starrcade type show, at least not in this era, but this weekend of shows (and especially this show specifically) feels like one. Starts with two good showcase matches. You get Punk/BJ payoff in the gauntlet. Walters/Xavier, even though I hate them, has had a properly built feud. Daniels/Maff and the Briscoes has been built by Cornette association alone. Joe/AJ has been protected as a singles match and built to for a short amount of time but a decent enough build. And Corino/Cide is the first real blood feud ROH has had and the main story of it ends here (though there are a couple of epilogues, I am told.) So let’s see how it plays out.

To start the show, GMC gets a phone call that Steve Corino has arrived. GMC rushes outside with a camera, NO LIGHTING, to do an interview. Guys, you HAVE to be making better production decisions, come the fuck on. Corino puts over the dangerousness of the match tonight and keeps saying how it didn’t have to come to this. This all started because of an errant elbow after Homicide was too stupid to realize what needed to be done against the Backseat Boyz to send them packing back to CZW a year ago, but he couldn’t get the job done. He didn’t want this. He didn’t ask for this. He can’t hear out of one ear. He can barely see out of one of his eyes. And he’s not the one that started a riot in Queens. He’s not the one going around stabbing people in the eye! He’s done everything he’s done in that ring, good or bad. Homicide’s the one that let it get to this point. He says ROH doesn’t give a damn about Homicide, but they do give a damn about Steve Corino. Which is funny because he doesn’t give a damn about ROH. He promises that the so called legend of Homicide will be extinguished tonight and he will be forgotten. GMC says they’re going to have cameras following Corino and Homicide all night. 

Elsewhere, Samoa Joe cuts a promo to hype up his title defense against AJ. He mentions comments from critics about him not being a worthy champion and not doing things right. But I gotta tell ya, I was chronically online in 2003 on many wrestling message boards, and I don’t think I ever saw anything like that. Everything I saw was telling me Joe was the second coming. And he was! So not sure what this promo is referring too. But he hypes up the match with AJ. I am so hyped for this. First singles bout in ROH/first time I’m seeing them in a non TNA/WWE setting where I feel like they’re gonna have more freedom. 

In the parking lot, GMC finds Homicide, Smokes and the gang all arriving. Smokes yells that they’ve been hanging with Master P and UHHHHH, SOMEBODY GOTTA DIE TONIGHT. YEAH YEAH YEAH. BBBBBBBBBDAT. GMC asks for comments about the match and repeats what Corino says. Homicide says Corino acts like he's the President of Zero1, but screw him and screw them. He's gonna hurt him and hurt him bad tonight. GMC mentions the cameras following him tonight and Cide says he doesn't want to be bothered at all, for real. Homicide says they'll see his violent side. ROH is nothing to him right now. Steve Corino is the only thing, and Steve Corino is a dead man. SOMEBODY'S GONNA DIE TONIGHT. BBBBBBBBBDAT. YEAH YEAH YEAH.

PUNK’S ON COMMENTARY ALL NIGHT! YES!

Match #1: Backseat Boyz vs. Fast Eddie/Hotstuff Hernandez
The Backseats have started to suck so much lately that they actively thought down the otherwise usually fun Eddie/Hernandez team. Just nothing really clicked and it seemed to be a match mostly led by the Backseats. They dump Hernandez out and finish off Eddie with the T Gimmick and that’s just kinda it. Alright. 
*1/4

In the back, the camera is in Corino's private locker room. He has LeGrande, his son Colby and some other dude with him. Guillotine says this is different than Funk and he has so many advantages having been in there before. Corino says he says he's nervous but not worried. He has to keep it short, and Guillotine says that Cide feeds off the crowd and he's unpredictable. Corino says Homicide has to be nervous too, and at least he's been here before. Corino asks Colby if he's ready, and he says he knows his dad will win and Homicide will be done. 

Elsewhere, Homicide is in the dressing room with the rest of the roster, off in the corner, and he pulls out the old orange prison jumpsuit gear. HELL YEAH. 

Match #2: Carnage Crew (DeVito/Loc/The SAT/Slugga vs. Special K (Dixie, Hydro, Angel Dust, Lit & Hijinx) [Ten Man Scramble Match]
Not sure why Slugga’s bookings have become so sparse. This was sloppy and kind of a smelly piece of shit. I’m fine with Special K being this seemingly never ending group but when it comes time for in ring stuff it probably should be kept to like 4-5 dudes. They should also bring Slim J back. Oh, Slugga is bad. That answers my initial question in this match review. He teases a big man plancha but stops short so he can climb up top instead. And rather than dive, he sort of just falls on everyone and it looks like everyone was hurt. Some neat spots. At one point both the Crew and SATs each have two Special K members  in these crazy bullshit tandem submissions while Slugga sort of holds Lit up and plays him like an accordion. DeVito also does the Spanish Fly with one of the Maximo’s. The melee continues and I think Angel Dust ends up getting a cheap quick roll up on DeVito to win.
*1/2

Before the Gauntlet Match starts, Punk grabs the mic. He says last night, he vanquished his greatest foe and both of his drug free feet hit first, and he won the feud. He won because he is vigilant and abstains from the poison that controls their lies. He won the feud because he is drug free, which means he’s better than you. However, he still doesn’t know who took out Lucy. He turned the locker room inside out last night and still has come to no single conclusion. After he pins Jimmy Rave, BJ Whitmer, Colt Cabana, and Matt Stryker to win this gauntlet tonight, he'll get his shot at the ROH title, and before the night is over, he will know who took out Lucy.

Match #3: CM Punk vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Colt Cabana vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Matt Stryker [#1 Contender’s Gauntlet Match]
Punk starts this out with Rave and it rules. They get over ten minutes to work. Rave does some awesome work on Punk’s knee, and Punk sells it incredibly well. Rave again struggles with having any big moves to throw at Punk to keep the attack going and thus has trouble transitioning out of limb work, so Punk takes over all while selling the knee so well. The whole layout of this is reminiscent to Punk’s work in the 2004 TPI, knee work and all. Jimmy finally ticks the aggressiveness up a bit and is able to counter some late stage Punk stuff and go back to work at the knee, but again falters when it comes time to try and put him away. Rave sets Punk on the top rope to try something, and Punk sensing danger just resorts to the last possible option. He stops Rave short and hits him with the Pepsi Plunge and it saves him as Punk gets the win. Wondering if this whole bit with Rave just blatantly inspired his TPI 2004 run because even the finish is identical. 

Punk’s now hurt the knee even worse by doing the Pepsi Plunge, so when Matt Stryker is out next, that’s his immediate target. It’s boring work but it’s sensible. Punk is working on one leg, legit, and it feels so authentic. He can’t even run the ropes. LOVE THAT. Stryker is able to rather easily get him in the Strykerlock to make him tap. 

Cabana is out next and he stops to talk with Punk in the entryway. Punk tells Colt to target Strykers neck. Cabana goes in and gets all his quirky shit out of the way, including leaving the ring and re-entering through the curtain to his music I guess to “restart”. Lame. Cabana does some big moves that seem to have Stryker on the ropes but of course, this is one of the “Pure Wrestlers” that Gabe slaps the ham to, so Stryker wins almost out of nowhere with a DVD. ZERO reaction for Stryker in any of this by the way. 

Whitmer is out last and we’re “treated” to a preview of the FoH finals for Final Battle next month. They exchange movez~ n holdz~ for a bit without really building to anything. First and only fun moment is the end, where Stryker is heading up top for a high risk move and Whitmer shoves him off. Stryker takes a NASTY bump to the floor and sells it like he broke his neck, complete with refs and agents checking on him. Whitmer feigns concern before pushing everyone out of the way, grabbing and sending Stryker back inside and hitting him with a GROSS looking Wrist Clutch Exploder to get the win.

Fun booking throughout but Matt Stryker sucks and BJ is very mid so it’s brought down tremendously by that. Otherwise I might’ve gotten crazy with this rating.
***

Backstage, it’s intermission and GMC reminds us of the show last night where he saw AJ Styles flipping out at Jimmy Rave. He wants to see what happens tonight after another Rave loss. He goes in to AJ’s locker room and AJ is bent over in Rave’s face as he sits in the locker room, forehead to forehead, and AJ’s speaking through gritted teeth like Sid on a bender. Rave screams he’s had enough of this SHIT AJ! And shoves him against a locker before storming out! AJ immediately smiles and says “there’s that fire.”

CORINO CAM: He’s dressed in his gear and warming up. LeGrande gets a phone call, says it’s from Brandon (which is Low Ki’s real name). LeGrande tells Corino who it is and they ask BRANDON how he thinks Homicide is right now and if they should expect him to use the fork tonight. LeGrande signals to Corino that BRANDON said yes. Corino takes a deep breath. My guy. I know he used the fork to blind you but you’re about to be surrounded by like 200 feet of barbed wire or whatever and you’re sighing over the fork? Just bring a gun! Corino doesn’t feel bad about reaching out to BRANDON or about Homicide using the fork because all is fair and Corino says ear for an ear.   

HOMICIDE CAM: Cide is warming up in his old ring gear and J-Train is singing YOU’REEE NOOOOBODY TIIIIL SOOOOMEBODY KILLS YOOOOU. Smokes says the anticipation of death is worse than death itself. Homicide says Steve is a dead man and Smokes says to dictate the pace tonight, baby. Homicide says he IS Mike Tyson. He's gonna eat his soul. He's gonna eat his children. ELEVATE YO HATE. YEAH YEAH YEAH.

Match #4: Outcast Killaz vs. Slyk Wagner Brown/April Hunter
This thankfully lasts all of a minute and the Killaz actually win after dumping Slyk out of the ring and hitting an Acid Drop on April.
1/4*

Xavier comes out laughing. He says Slyk just lost because he’s from Boston and Boston sucks. And John Walters is from Boston and he sucks too. Because he’s from New York and he’s a winner. What a GREAT promo you fucking dong bag. 

Match #5: John Walters vs. Xavier
It’s probably not a good sign for a wrestler that everytime you run a show in their hometown, you have to do everything you can to try and get his hometown fans to cheer him, and they still don’t. You’d think Gabe would get the hint but lol. Just a bunch of nothing here. Do you care? Are you even reading this part of the review? Are you even reading this review? Have you read any of the reviews? How much filler text do you think I can put in this match review before someone calls me out? Does anyone give a shit about either of these two? I know it’s not nice to speak ill of the dead but apparently Xavier was kind of a shit head anyway so I mean…whatever. Walters wins this. Please be done.
*

Post match, an irate Xavier comes back in the ring and nails Walters with the chair. Walters does a really shitty blade job that results in only like a small, small amount of blood on his forehead and he clearly reaches up and smothers it over at one point. Bad job. ZERO reaction for Walters as he’s helped up to his feet by the way. I really fucking hate Gabe Sapolsky.

Match #6: The Briscoes (c) vs. The Prophecy (Daniels/Maff) [ROH Tag Team Championships]
The next logical step in the Briscoes growth here. Last night they faced two singles guys who had never teamed before and were able to show their growth in chemistry. Tonight, they’re facing a somewhat seasoned team (one of whom is a very experienced tag guy) and needing to show that that they can grow beyond just the need for big double team maneuvers. Do the disadvantage in seasoning, this is a largely Prophecy controlled match, and the Briscoes are working de facto babyface. They get their shots in and again can excel when they’re able to hit double team maneuvers. But Daniels is able to outsmart them at most any turn and gets a few near falls out of it. Prophecy eventually slow things down and keep Mark isolated, working over his head and neck region. Jay gets the hot tag and the match breaks down for a super fun finishing run. Jay is eventually able to get Daniels to himself for just enough time to hit the Jay Driller and get the 3 count to win.
***

Match #7: Samoa Joe (c) vs. AJ Styles [ROH World Championship]
This was fucking incredible. There’s a feeling out process to start, and both men are quite unsure on how to approach the other, which adds another layer here. Since both of these men have debuted in ROH, they’ve been built similarly but different. They’re both mostly dominated, but AJ’s done it through speed, agility and just an insane moveset, while Joe’s done it through power, striking and size. Neither has faced anyone yet like the other, nor should they since both are two of the most unique wrestlers maybe in history. And so in that initial feeling out process, what it adds is a real time visual of these two trying to game plan in the ring as opposed to backstage as most would do within kayfabe. The advantage AJ has is that he clearly is very good at planning out match strategies, and they laid this piece of the puzzle out for us for weeks with the Rave segments. Joe, as we know, doesn’t need to game plan too often because he can rely on brute force in most scenarios. This may not be one of those scenarios. Sorry to geek out, I just love small details like this. Both men rely on what’s brought them to the dance: power vs. speed. After the first few minutes, the niceties are out the door as Joe kicks AJ through the ropes and AJ takes a brilliant bump to the floor and sells it like he’s been run over by a van. AJ makes a crazy comeback pretty early with a few teases of the Styles Clash, and it becomes clear what his end game plan is here. If he can connect with the Clash, that should end it (which is again a beautiful relation to the Rave story, since he does not have that move that would save him in a situation like this, but he soon will). AJ, however, in the process of building up to the Styles Clash, finds himself putting a lot of miles in quick because Joe is much larger than the opponents he’s used to performing his offensive moves on, and it adds up after a while. You notice it because he starts to slow down and become very calculated with each step due to tiring out. This allows Joe to get some shots in and really use his power to the advantage. AJ is able to build up enough energy in reserves to be able to FINALLY hit Joe with the Styles Clash…AND JOE KICKS OUT. That was it. That was AJ’s killshot, and Joe fucking ate it. Joe makes his monster comeback and hits the Island Driver, but AJ survives that, and Joe has to resort elsewhere since that’s the 2nd or 3rd time recently someone’s survived the Island Driver. So for the first time in a while, Joe breaks out the Muscle Buster on AJ. BUT, for added insurance, Joe immediately applies THE CHOKE on AJ, and really wrenches himself in to the coquina clutch position you’d later see him do in TNA. AND SOMEHOW, AJ JS FIGHTING IT AND STARTING TO GET OUT OF THE CHOKE. HES CRAWLING TO THE ROPES, AND JOE FUCKING PULLS BACK ON AJ LIKE A FRESH STICKER AND AJ FINALLY PASSES OUT. JESUS. 

There’s some sloppiness in the early parts where they’re selling how they’re trying to figure some stuff out, and I would’ve liked to have seen maybe 2-3 minutes tacked to the beginning of the middle right when things start to turn up in the power vs. speed battle, but other than that, this is near perfect. One of the better matches I’ve seen in this project. And I dunno if it goes anywhere, but I fucking love how much AJ and his game plan and his failing relates to Rave’s story. So good.
****1/2

Backstage, Corino stretches a bit more in full gear and puts his stupid little entrance mask on. LeGrande reminds him to be brutal. 

In something kind of weird, Gabe does a voice over and they show still photos of something that happened while the ring was being set up for the main event. Punk threatened to hold the show up again and prevent the main event unless he got answers on Lucy and he was again blaming the Prophecy. Daniels came out to confront him, punched him and they brawled all around, and the brawl ended with Punk hitting Daniels with the Last Rites. This sounded and looked awesome but I am super confused why they didn’t just film this and air it since the “photos” they show are clearly just video stills?

So confession time: this feud and specifically this match are the only reason I ever even decided to do an ROH watch through finally. Not that there isn’t a ton of other great stuff I’d have liked to see, but more than likely, I would’ve taken some stuff in random doses like I’ve been doing with PWG and other companies. Reading more about this feud and this match, paired with these two guys already being well into my top 50 wrestlers ever because of their work elsewhere, it felt like a no brainer. So this match feels like the culmination of me doing this review. I am definitely and obviously going to continue it beyond this. But I’m just pumped for the match here. Bitch. 

After the entrances, Bobby Cruise goes to do the typical introduction for Corino, but LeGrande stops him and the camera picks him up saying “let’s just do the regular introduction and get this over with”. Really adds to the atmosphere. LeGrande and Smokes are both there as corner men with the towels. 




Match #8: Steve Corino vs. Homicide [No Ropes Barbed Wire] 
Alright, where to begin, where to begin. This is incredible, this is a work of art, this is everything that pro wrestling can be when done right. They spend the first few moments of the match getting the stipulation over and they do a tremendous job of it. Corino slips out of the ring and is aghast and narrowly missing being cut and how he can’t out his weight on any part of the wire. Homicide has to baseball slide out to avoid it and grabs a fans piece of pizza and rubs it over the wire to show how easily it slices. They do all the typical “WHOA-OH ALMOST” spots where they ALMOST go into the wire. The match stip is its own character here. It’s what WWE did originally with Hell in a Cell before bastardizing. Homicides the first to go into the wire and it’s gnarly right from the start. He’s cut on the head and is gushing bad. He gets caught under the ropes and Corino sort of monkey flips him up into the wire. Corino then works the cut on Homicide’s head, putting his fingers into it, just like Cide did to him back in the summer. Homicides big comeback, of course, involves the fork and he gashes Corino with it quick and easy. AND THEN HE STARTS STABBING AWAY AT CORINO’S BAD EAR JESUS CHRIST. AND THEN HE DDT’S CORINO ONTO A BARBED WIRE BASEBALL BAT. FUCK. Corino ends up taking over and it’s kind of how it goes the rest of the match. Corino teases using the barbed wire table that was pre-set up in the ring but flips the fans off because they annoyingly spent the whole match chanting “we want tables” (fuck the WWE Dudleys forever, man). But they finally get their wish when Corino tries to lock on the Cobra Lock but has to revert to a sleeper as Homicide fights back. Corino ends up getting on his back, so Cide stands up AND THROWS THEM BOTH BACK FIRST INTO THE BARBED WIRE TABLE. Then there’s just this insane succession of spots, I may have already described some, but it’s honestly just better left to some gifs and pics, man:






Eventually, Homicide makes his final comeback after some of those brutal spots, and he’s got Corino in the STF. He’s fighting to make it into the Torture STF, BUT LEGRANDE THROWS A BOTTLE OF RUBBING ALCOHOL ON HOMICIDES CUT UP HEAD! AND SMOKES RUNS OVER AND FINALLY BEATS THE FUCK OUT OF LEGRANDE! But the damage is done! This gives Corino his shot to finish this off. He hits Homicide with repeated piledrivers. He then has LeGrande toss him gloves, AND CORINO THEN WRAPS THE WIRE AROUND HOMICIDE’S THROAT. YOU CAN SEE IT PIERCING HIS NECK JESUS CHRIST. Corino does this with the Cobra Sleeper on, and Smokes teases throwing the towel in. Cide starts trying to fight to his feet and sees this. And in the split second he takes to try and wave Smokes off, Corino’s able to readjust himself to YANK HARDER ON THE WIRE WHICH SENDS HOMICIDE BRIDGING ALL THE WAY BACK WITH HIS FEET FOLDING UNDER HIM! AND SMOKES THROWS IN THE TOWEL!

This is where I come to a crossroads. I suffer from severe recency bias. I’ve gotten better with age. But when I see something I really and truly love, like this, I immediately want to give it five stars. So after reviewing, I put my review aside for a bit and just stewed. 

Part of me still wants to give it five stars. I know that’s not necessarily a popular thing to do in the modern wrestling review community, I feel like, but I like what I like and I shy away from it. That being said, I immediately have to compare this to a match like Joe/Necro I. I initially rated that **** not because I didn’t think it was incredible, but because I overthought the rating. So I’ve retroactively changed that to ****1/2. I’ve also made sure to keep my Joe/AJ rating in this review at ****1/2, because it deserves it. 

I can settle, after thinking about those two comparisons, at rating this at ****1/4. I cannot say this was better or on the same level as Joe/Necro. And while this is truly special, it’s not an actual wrestling match at the end of the day like Joe/AJ in this review was. Does this all sound weird and contrived? Yes. Absolutely. It’s all in my head. 

So fuck it.
****1/4


Post match, Punk leaves commentary to “go down” and help Corino. Both men’s “teams” storm the ring to help them. 


There’s a bit of a time jump and we cut to Homicide and Corino crawling towards each other and slowly getting up while staring at one another. Corino slowly reaches out his hand and offers a truce. Homicide sells the conflict within so well. He teases, he might do it, annnnnd…he just can’t. He cannot bring himself to do it. And he leaves.


The cameras then join Team Corino back in his locker room. Corino legitimately looks and sounds like he’s on deaths door. Colby is terrified but he’s taking it like a champ. LeGrande just keeps ranting about Homicide not being worth it and how Corino’s got nothing left to prove in ROH. Corino says some words in between long, pained gasps for air, but it doesn’t really amount to much outside of him declaring the war over, and saying Homicide should’ve just shook his hand but it doesn’t matter anymore. 

Wow. 

There’s, for some reason, a Good Times Great Memories that closes this out where Colt is with the SAT. I dunno who’s bright fuckin idea that was but I skipped it. Reading about it, nothing important except “Red is on track to return by the summer” but lol. 

NEXT MONTH: IT'S FINAL BATTLE 2003! Danielson/Jay! Joe/Mark! FoH Finals! ROH vs. AJPW!

TNA: SACRIFICE 2006

Impact Zone
Orlando, FL
May 14th, 2006

NWA World Heavyweight Champion: Christian Cage (Since 2/12/2006)
TNA X-Division Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 4/10/2006)
NWA World Tag Team Champions: America’s Most Wanted (Since 10/11/2005)


So by this point, I was watching TNA weekly for about 7-8 months but I was never watching the PPVs. The only match I’ve ever seen on this show is the tag title match but I mean, I haven’t seen it in over a decade, so we’ll see how things go!

Super overdramatic TNA opening video to start, per usual, with a heavy subtext that somebody (or everybody) is gonna die (legit).

Match #1: Jushin Thunder Liger vs. Petey Williams [World X Cup Tournament - Second Round Match]
Maybe I was just blinded by the Destroyer, or maybe I just didn’t realize it, but someone at TNA was just insistent that Petey was on the level of or close to the level of some of these others legit studs they had on this roster, and I just don’t get it. He’s flippy BJ Whitmer. Liger is still awesome though. And he’s got his whole Team Japan squad with him of Black Tiger (Rocky), Goto and Minoru Tanaka. They do some basic exchanges and Liger gets to control the majority of this. He’s got some real solid back sentons and other acrobatic shit he pulls out. Petey makes a lackluster comeback and is building towards the Destroyer but Tiger distracts the ref and I think Goto gets in and attacks Petey from behind, allowing Liger to hit a front face slam for the win. 
**1/2

In the on going World X Cup, the standings are:

USA - 5 pts
JAP - 3 pts
MEX - 2 pts
CAN - 0 pts

Backstage, we get a shot of Sting’s locker room door, and then of Samoa Joe getting ready in the back. Main event is hyped. 

Jeremy Borash is with AMW, Gail & Jackie Gayda. Jackie’s crying and everyone keeps telling her to shut up. AMW put over their tag title defense and Borash finally asks Jackie why she’s crying. She blurts out that she’s pregnant. AMW leave pissed off, and Gail Kim says that everybody in Planet Jarrett hates her, so she’s fired. And that’s the end of Jackie Gayda in TNA. One of the weirdest, unsolved storylines of all time. 

Match #2: America’s Most Wanted (c) vs. Phenomenal Angels (Daniels/Styles) [NWA World Tag Team Championships]
In a shocker to probably absolutely nobody, this holds up and is still awesome. AMW, I feel, don’t get brought up enough as a great time because there’s obviously better teams from the 2000’s all across the globe but I don’t think that should diminish the work these guys did together. James Storm, specifically, is an awesome tag team wrestler. AJ & Daniels are a rarity for me because I usually hate the “two enemies become partners” bit but this works so well because they’re two of the best at this time and two of my favorite wrestlers ever. After the initial set of exchanges, AMW isolates Daniels and has a really good control segment all to build to an otherworldly hot tag by AJ. AJ hits an INSANE springboard flying forearm from the ring out into the fucking crowd on Storm. The match breaks down and the ref gets distracted on the floor, and out of nowhere a night stick just drops into the ring? The camera pans up and we see that Gail Kim was up in the rafters and dropped it down. I’m not sure I remember the reasoning behind this spot or the night stick? AJ doesn’t see it and hits Storm with the Styles Clash, but Harris grabs the stick and nails AJ with it before putting Storm on top of AJ to get the win.
Prior Rating: ***1/2
2024 Rating: ***1/2

Backstage, Jeremy Borash is with Larry Zbyszko and they recap the feud with Raven. Larry says all of these problems that Raven has in his life are all of his own doing and tonight will be no different. 

Match #3: Raven vs. A-1
Larry is there with A-1. This is bad. Beyond just A-1 being bad, this is the end for Raven really. He came out of the fed with some juice in 2003, but there’s nothing left in the tank here. He looks awful, his skill has just deteriorated beyond belief. It’s a bummer. He gets the win. Just moving on.
3/4*

Post match, Larry goes and tries to shake hands with Raven in the ring but they end up having a shitty brawl. 

Backstage, Borash is with Jarrett and Steiner to hype their match later. Jarrett talks about the really bad seg from Impact where Sting teased partnering with his old friends/WCW guys and kept listing their real life troubles with the law. So bad. Anyway, Jarrett says Sting didn’t choose any of them because they can’t handle TNA and he only picked Joe out of desperation. But Joe will turn on Sting, just like everyone else Sting has trusted in his career. 

Match #4: Bobby Roode vs. Rhino
This was certainly a match. Roode is good here but he’s not what he would be later on. 2006 Rhino is only a few notches above 2006 Raven at this point. It’s sad how he fell off the way he did because 99-01 Rhino felt like a new big star on the rise. And then lol nope. I dunno. I don’t think he ever fully recovered from that neck surgery and he wasn’t a good enough worker to adapt successfully to a varied style post surgery like Austin. I know that’s not a fair comparison but it’s the only one I had. Roode does some good work on Rhino’s neck, speaking of that, in his control segment. Rhino made his comeback and it was painfully bland and clunky. D’Amore sacrificed himself and took the Gore in lieu of Roode, and Roode hit the Northern Lariat on Rhino quickly to win.
**

Backstage, Borash is with Team 3D and they hype up the match with the Outlaws. I don’t care. I don’t care about post 2003 Dudley Boyz. At all. Fuck off. 

Match #5: Team 3D vs. The James Gang
This is pig shit. This ain’t even pig shit, this is the mud that the pig shit sits in and becomes one with and then the pigs roll around in it and eat off it and then shit it out back onto the shit and mud cocktail they live on. I hate it so much. The Outlaws were cool as shit in 97-99 and it might be one of my favorite tag team runs ever. The Dudleys from 97-03 are one of the best teams of all time, in my opinion anyway, and I’ll always love them for that. But neither team had business in a wrestling ring at this point. I am willing to sacrifice the mostly cool early Bully Ray stuff if it means the Dudleys just retire after One Night Stand. I am not even going to bother recapping this. I should’ve chosen Double or Nothing 2019 when these two shows tied on the Twitter poll. The Outlaws win after using a lead pipe in a callback to No Way Out 2000. Great.
1/2*

Backstage, Sinister Minister is with an angry Abyss and he says some sp00ky stuff.

Christy Hemme comes sauntering out simply to kiss the World X Cup trophy because TNA hired her without a single idea to do with her since she wasn’t a wrestler and TNA is very dumb. One of the more pointless hires TNA made in this era.

So the next match has the chance to be a points grab in the World X Cup. This is more like a Royal Rumble or the Casino Gauntlet AEW just did as opposed to a typical gauntlet match. The two final men in the match each get 2 points for their team, and the winner gets 3 extra points. However, if the final two men are from the same country, that team gets 7 points and would most likely win the the whole thing.

Match #6: World X Cup Gauntlet Match
Match starts with Minoru Tanaka up against Puma (TJP). They have some pretty decent chemistry and put on a decent spot show for the crowd with the couple of minutes they’re given. Petey Williams is out 3rd because life sucks. He actively brings the match down each time he’s squaring off with one of the others. Chris Sabin’s out 4th and things pick up a teensy bit. And they get even better when Goto comes out 5th. Some really high paced stuff. Typical oh’s and ah’s but it’s a blast nonetheless. I’ve only seen modern Goto which is fine but he’s really crisp here in the mid 00’s. Incognito is out at 6th. Things slow a bit. Petey still sucks. Johnny Devine is out 7th because they’re determined to make this match as bad as possible whenever they can. He’s so bad. Him and A-1 were the reasons I could never fully get into Team Canada back in the day. I think it’s also why I had blinders on to Petey for a long while. Sonjay Dutt is out at 8th. Jesus Christ. Never got Sonjay. Everyone got mad at Nash’s comments on cruiserweights (before they did the incredible Paparazzi Productions stuff as a bit) but he honestly was at least 50% right and the proof is here in dudes like Sonjay Dutt. I hate to sound like a ROHbot in training but any flippy/high workrate indie guy that didn’t get used/used enough in ROH before/during their TNA run, I don’t trust. There’s a reason ROH didn’t book them a ton. Black Tiger is out at 9, this is Rocky Romero. He picks things back up a tad. And then Magno is out at 10 to bring things crashing back down to earth. No idea who he is but he’s sloppy as fuck. He literally slips and or falls on every thing he attempts. Eric Young comes out at 11, and this is back before we had to pretend he was a great worker so he does the comedy stuff and bumps like a maniac. Sonjay and Icognito tumble over and out together for the first eliminations and Sonjay appears to tweak his ankle pretty bad. But hey that’s two shitty dudes out of this. ALEX SHELLEY OUT AT 12, YEAH! Devine tosses out Sabin and in quick succession Shelley throws out Devine. Liger is out at 13, and things pick the fuck back up to what they were at the beginning. Shelley/Liger have SUCH a good exchange and Liger has taken this match over. He’s so good. Shocker is out at 14 to again bring this back down I guess. Liger throws Magno out while Shelley/Shocker have an okay exchange. Tyson Dux is out at 15 and almost simultaneously, Shocker eliminates Black Tiger. Goto stumbles off the top but Shelley kicks him and falls to the apron. Jay Lethal is out last at 16. Lethal almost immediately eliminates Goto. Shelley takes Shocker out. Team Canada has the most members left and they begin working together which is fun. They throw out Liger so then it becomes less fun and I am angry. Lethal answers by sending EY out and Shelley sends out Dux, but then Petey tosses out Lethal! It’s down to three with Petey, Shelley & Puma. They have some fun spots and work a little bit until Petey eliminates Puma. Shelley carries Petey through some decent stuff but it’s all mediocre on Petey’s end, which naturally means Petey wins the Canadian Destroyer. Some fun stuff sprinkled throughout. Even the bad stuff wasn’t out of this world awful. It’s half a royal rumble with flippy dudes so it’s hard to be truly shitty. Fuck it.
***ish

Nobody gets the full 7 points. So instead, the updated standings for the World X Cup are:

USA: 5 POINTS
CAN: 5 POINTS
MEX: 4 POINTS
JAP: 3 POINTS

BIG KEV IS HERE! Nash comes out and he DESTROYS Puma with a Jacknife to a huge pop. He grabs the mic and says that a mediocre big man will always beat the best small men, and he’s a pretty good big man. Size does matter. And then he poses. Fuck yeah, Paparazzi Productions.

They air a REALLY fucking good video package on the tag match. This must be when David Sahadi left WWE to join TNA. Because this is an awesome video that puts everyone over, including the story, and does a really good job selling Joe as a legit main event guy. Seek it out. 

Match #7: Jeff Jarrett & Scott Steiner vs. Sting & Samoa Joe
This was way better than I thought it was going to be. Sting is still very much Sting, Jarrett’s good, Steiner’s surprisingly good and Joe is fucking Joe. Jarrett & Steiner feed into all of the babyface offense so well. The heels get control segs on both Sting and Joe. Setting this up to be Joe’s first big heavyweight challenge in TNA was really smart booking, give the devil his due. There’s not too much to complain about here. It’s a solid 14 minutes or so. Everybody gets their shit in. One nasty moment was Sting putting Jarrett in the Scorpion, but Jeff didn’t roll fully, and Sting still sat to set the move in, and he accidentally created a super cool submission that someone should use (if they don’t already:


All hell breaks loose after Sting’s hot tag to Joe. Sting takes Steiner out. Jarrett gets Joe on the second rope and tries for a SUPER STROKE~ but Joe hops down and takes Jarrett’s head off with an enzuiguri. Jarrett falls back on the turnbuckle and Joe grabs him for the muscle buster to score a HUGE pinfall.
***1/4

If Joe wasn’t a made man before he is now. Can’t wait to see TNA totally not mess this up!

Post match, Joe and Sting slowly shake hands to tease that Joe might turn on him but instead Joe pulls him in and says thank you and Sting does the kliq point to Joe as he leaves. AND THEN STEINER NAILS STING IN THE HEAD WITH A CHAIR! Joe’s always up the ramp way and has his back turned and seems conflicted about going back as this is not his problem. The delay allows Jarrett to then hit Sting with the guitar too! Joe then slowly turns around and stares Jarrett and Steiner down — AND THEN LEAVES?! Wtf. That was dumb. The heels keep the work up on Sting til the Outlaws, Sabin, Daniels & Lethal chase them off. 

Hype video airs for the main event.

Borash interviews Christian backstage. This interview reminded me that Abyss stole the NWA Title after their match last month at Lockdown. He also talks about the stalking video angle they did. 

Really cool moment of the camera following Abyss through the backstage area to the tunnel. And dude fuck yeah Abyss’ classic theme. A top 5 TNA theme for me. 

In classic TNA fashion, the audio is fucked up because you can hear the Spanish announce team as loud as you can hear Tenay and DW. 

Match #8: Christian Cage (c) vs. Abyss [NWA World Heavyweight Championship / Full Metal Mayhem Match]
This was alright. Full Metal Mayhem is just TNA’s version of a TLC match, for those unaware. I think the issues with this are mostly based on the fact that they’re trying to do too much in too small of a space. The six sided ring is obviously shaped as it is and it cuts down the area in the ring, so you can’t do some of the spots you might normally do in a match like this without running a risk of severe injury. Not to mention, Christian is a great wrestler, but he’s not exactly a great athlete. I mean, he wasn’t really one of the guys doing the super high risk, pretty spots in those original TLC matches. And I get it, every promotion any of those six have been in has tried to recreate the magic of the original two TLC matches and usually failed horribly. But with this just being Christian against a largely uncreative Abyss, it doesn’t amount to too much on the spectacular side of the things. There are some fun spots. Christian chokes Abyss with his chain from the top rope and Abyss yanks Christian off the top through tables on the floor. Christian hits the Killswitch on Abyss onto a ladder. Mitchell takes an STO from Christian into thumbtacks to a HUGE spot. Finish comes when Abyss mysteriously rolls himself on a table as Christian is climbing the ladder. Christian is torn about finishing Abyss or guaranteeing himself a win. He ends up doing the frog splash off the ladder on to Abyss. That was dumb. Abyss getting on the table should’ve been a trap where Abyss moves or whatever. Idk. Christian then climbs the ladder again to get the belt. Anticlimactic. But it’s passable fun.
***ish

Post-match, Christian sits atop the ladder and poses with the belt to close the show. 

A very missable show. When I picked this for this weeks Retro Poll over on Twitter (@BQReviews), the card looked awesome on paper. But when ya watch it and really realize who’s in this show and what time this takes place in, it’s really a very weak show with 2 good matches that honestly you didn’t NEED to see. And I think that was one of TNA’s major problems. Russo booked them as a TV-first company like this was still the height of the Monday Night Wars, and it made some of their PPVs very missable.