ROH: THE LAST STAND 2004

Michael’s 8th Avenue
Glen Burnie, MD
January 29th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 10 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 4 Defenses)

Backstage to start the show, GMC greets J Train and we see Homicide is sitting in trance. GMC introduces ROH’s newest backstage correspondent, SUGAR SEAN PRICE. Okay. Price & J Train dap each other up, and Price tries to greet Homicide but Homicide doesn’t move. J Train says he’s marinating and serenading. Homicide says tonight feels like his biggest match in ROH yet and he can’t focus. GMC asks J Train what’s up and J Train says he’s lost. 

Out in the ring, Samoa Joe welcomes us to another edition of Samoa Joe’s Ring. He says that he normally demonstrates technique here in this ring, however tonight, Jim Cornette is back in ROH to manage his boys the Briscoes against himself and his new partner, Jerry Lynn (UGH). You see, Cornette crossed him and thought he had it all figured out, but Joe put him out. He was supposed to be in Ohio a few weeks back, but he didn't make it. Maybe he was afraid. People ask what type of a thing he could do to make someone not show up for a show. He could have hit him, punched him, knocked him out, but that's too easy. He stretches out the young boy in the ring and asks Jim if this looks familiar. This is what he did to him, and tonight, the ROH WORLD Champion walks in and walks out a double champion. The Briscoes got their bullets back, time to see if they can use 'em. He is Samoa Joe. And he is pro wrestling. 

Elsewhere, Maff and Whitmer are arguing over what happened at the last show and Allison Danger is trying to maintain peace. Danger says Christopher Daniels left her with a plan, and they need to concentrate on one of them becoming the #1 Contender tonight. One of them needs to get it, so they need to work as a team, and then  one of them will get it. Danger says people might think the loss of their leader has devastated them and kept them from going on, but they will persevere. Maff says they've taken this pain and turned into hatred. Every minute Chris isn't here just makes it worse.

Match #1: John Walters vs. Chad Collyer [Pure Tournament Qualifier]
God damn man, I am so tired of these dudes and Stryker. This match just simply exists. There’s no story, there’s no focus, there’s nothing going on but dudes throwing holds. No reason for anything. So I don’t give a shit. They run out of the allotted amount of rope breaks a Pure Rules match has, so in the finish, Walters puts Collyer in a Liontamer through the ropes, like a reverse tarantula almost, and since the ropes can’t cause a break, Collyer taps. 
**

In a pretape, Christopher Daniels cuts a promo at home, with his sleeping baby held to his chest. He says instead of being there, he's here recuperating from a neck injury. It would be easy to blame CM Punk for this, but this is just as much on him for thinking the Second City Saints would be as easy to eliminate as Steve Corino and The Group. That one shot would be all it would take. He underestimated CM Punk's tenacity, and pays for that now. So he's at home taking care of his newborn daughter instead. The more time he spends with her, the more that he realizes what a petulant little child CM Punk is. The Saints can't have their way in ROH, and every road they want to take is blocked by the Prophecy, so they throw a tantrum and try to crush them. The Prophecy has a clear agenda in Maryland though, and either BJ or Maff will become the #1 Contender. And when he returns from this, CM Punk will see a side of him that his daughter will never see. And that’s not just a promise. That is the gospel, according to the word of the Fallen Angel. 

Match #2: Chris Sabin vs. Jack Evans vs. Caprice Coleman vs. Hydro vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Slyk Wagner Brown
This isn’t bad but not as fun as I thought it was going to be. I’m normally a big dumb sucker for the ROH multi man spotfests but this just wasn’t clicking for me for whatever reason. Brown was inoffensive and the other four did quite well. Evans especially stuck out with some sick bumps and his usual acrobatic maneuvers. This was Sabin’s match though. He just has way more presence than anyone else in the match at this point although Hydro (Jay Lethal) is really coming along well already. A lot of near breakout talents in this match which is cool. Sabin wins with the CRADLE. SHOCK. DRIVER. on Hydro.
**1/2

Colt Cabana comes out to the ring for the very first live edition of GOOD TIMES, GREAT MEMORIES. Look, maybe there’s something in me that hurts these bits. Maybe it’s that I’m much older now. Maybe it’s that I haven’t posted on a message board in well over a decade. Maybe it’s what happened with the Punk/AEW stuff. I don’t know. But like 90% of Cabana’s humor on these ROH shows is the bargain bin worst type of comedy. He plays the bit of big dumb deer in headlights with shit like “whats the deal with babyfaces? Are they babies?” And nerds in the crowd just eat it up. Different time, I guess. I honestly cant say truthfully I would’ve 100% been into this schtick back then or not. It’s 20 years ago. 

But anyway, he powers through some really bad stand up before welcoming out his guests, Dunn & Marcos. They do their schtick now too. Colt then rags on them for being a shitty team and lists off a bunch of great teams like the ‘85 Bears or the Ghostbusters. Then suddenly, Maff & Whitmer rush out and attack Cabana from behind. They set him up for a double team move but Dunn & Marcos step in the way and start air guitaring to Twisted Sister before Maff & Whitmer kill them. Cabana uses this chance to bail to the back. They hit their pose with Allison Danger but then some dude with a mullet yells at her “YOU DYED YOUR HAIR AGAIN YOU FRAUD?!” And she got really hot about it, and that was funny to me. 

Backstage, Suga Sean Price is outside of Homicide’s locker room and is still hoping for an interview before his match later on. 

Match #3: The Backseat Boyz vs. Carnage Crew (Credible/Loc) vs. Special K (Izzy/Dixie) [No DQ Match]
Super fun six minute brawl between all three teams that started even before the bell rang. Wasn’t crazy about Credible being in this instead of DeVito given the story they’ve been telling specifically with DeVito’s daughter, but whatever. Special K are great stooges here that only have their real offense come on ratty shit. Backseats look the most motivated they have in a long while. Fun finish where the Crew are more focused on getting at Special K so even after they hit the Carnage Driver, Credible goes out to the floor to keep the beating going but Loc gets trapped by the Backseats who hit the T Gimmick and a quick pin to win!
***

Match #4: BJ Whitmer vs. Dan Maff vs. Matt Stryker vs. Xavier [#1 Contender’s Trophy]
In standing with tradition with this trophy, it makes no sense why this particular match is happening. This wasn’t great either so it’s double bad. Stryker is beyond awful and the crowd is finally turning on him, getting a hearty “boring” chant numerous times. Whitmer is someone who can be carried to good, solid stuff, but when he’s in there against guys like Stryker and Xavier, it brings the absolute worst out of him and automatically turns him into one of the worst wrestlers on the roster. It’s sort of like how former Philadelphia Eagle RB Boston Scott was a pretty mid tier RB, if not worse. But whenever he played the Giants? He looked like the best back in the league. Ending has a lot of basic move trading that gets the crowd back into it but it’s nothing you haven’t already seen twice on this show already. Neat ending when Maff misses a shot on Stryker and hits BJ. Maff recovers and immediately lariats Stryker but then BJ super kicks Maff, and both Whitmer and Maff fall on top of Stryker and the ref counts 3.
**

Post match, there’s some confusion but then the ref seemingly just says to hell with it and raises the hands of both Maff and Whitmer. Whatever. 

In a pretape, James E. Cornette and The Briscoes cut a promo. Cornette says he's thinking about who else in the ROH he needs to get even with. First, there was The Prophecy and Christopher Daniels, who they took care of, and now it’s Samoa Joe, who left him in a hospital bed in NJ. He doesn't take what happened from a guy who's one generation removed from eating raw fish with his hands and taking a dump under a tree. Jesus Christ. So tonight, Joe and Jerry Lynn will feel the wrath of the racket and his World Tag Team Champions. And by the end, one of the Briscoes is gonna beat Joe directly, earn a shot at the World Title, and one of these boys will be a double champion. Jim asks them who's left in the tag division anyway? The Briscoes mention the Backseats, and Jim says all they can do is rip off the Midnight Express' music and should be sued for gimmick infringement. Jay says the Carnage Crew, and Jim says they're Al Bundy wannabes and last time he checked he wasn’t Christina Applegate. What? Mark names the Saints, and Cornette says he has no time for holier than thou preachers, because you need to be dirty in this business to get ahead. He says ROH needs to get some honest competition for these men who are establishing a new dynasty.

Backstage, GMC is standing by for intermission. He talks about the finish that just happened in the #1 contenders trophy match. He goes into the Prophecy’s locker room where they’re arguing. GMC says he’s here with a ruling from the ROH management. He says that based on precedence with the four corners survival match last year where Corino & Punk both pinned Daniels, ROH is siding with the referees decision that both men scored a pinfall victory tonight. So at the 2YA show next month, it’ll be Samoa Joe vs. Dan Maff vs. BJ Whitmer. And that’s where it gets dumb. GMC continues by saying in that match, Joe will NOT be defending the title. If Whitmer or Maff want to become #1 contender, they can ONLY pin or submit each other, not Joe. And if one of them pins or submits the other, they’ll earn a future world title shot. But if Joe wins, neither man is the #1 contender. Maff & Danger hate this but BJ’s okay with it and god damn man this sucks. 

This is just an astoundingly bad creative decision. Gabe, for some reason, just insists on overcomplicating things for the hell of it and I don’t get why. The double pin finish is fine, but then just make it a 3 way for the title at 2YA. Like the way they have it set up now, what the fuck is the point of even having Joe in the match?! I guess you can say to avoid having any #1 contender at all, but that’s not something Samoa Joe would do or has done at all in this reign. He’s literally inserted himself into matches to try and make someone pin him so they could earn a title shot. Why the fuck would you book him like this now?!

Match #5: Alex Shelley vs. Jimmy Jacobs
This was a lot of fun! From what I’ve seen, 2004 Alex Shelley is in the conversation for being a legit top 25 guy in the world at that point. He’s great at not only the nitty gritty of structuring a match, working a body part (like the head and neck here), etc. On top of that, this match gave him a chance to start to showcase his heel theatrics a bit to audition for what’s to come later this year. Jacobs is really solid here, too. He sells the neck and head really good and gets Shelley with a few good strikes and dives to keep him off kilter. Shelley tweaks his knee on a tope and Jacobs gets a little bit of work in on that. But in pretty quick succession, Shelley gets Jacobs with a flying Knee Trembler and the Shellshock before locking in the Border City Stretch to get the submission victory. Great showcase.
***1/4

J-Train is out with Homicide for the next match, while Colt & Traci Brooks come out with Punk. 

Match #6: CM Punk vs. Homicide
You know how I know both these dudes were ready for Prime Time? Because they already know how to phone in a total house show effort. Good lord. It’s not bad. I think at this point both of these two are incapable of having an outright bad match. But this is a far cry from their match roughly a year prior in West Mifflin. They are going through the motions and that is it. Basic moves and holds. No rhyme or reason. No story. Nothing. Just a wrestling match that exists to exist. So I mean if they didn’t put the thought into it I’m sure as shit not going to waste my typing here. Some near falls at the end but Homicide trucks through Punk with a big lariat for a really close near fall, and then follows with an Ace Crusher and Cop Killa to get the win. 
**1/2

Post match, Maff & Whitmer run out and attack Colt on the floor, including running him shoulder first into the steel post. They get in the ring to go after a still downed Punk, BUT HOMICIDE GETS IN THEIR WAY. And he ain’t doing it to defend the Saints, no, he just hasn’t forgotten what Maff did. Homicide dares him to step up but Danger calls them both off and they leave. Punk shakes Cide’s hand for the Code and then goes to check on Cabana with Traci. 

Cornette is out with the Briscoes for the main event as promised. 

Match #7: The Briscoe Brothers (c) vs. Samoa Joe/Jerry Lynn [ROH Tag Team Championships]
This is alright. I guess I get it. There are people that do consider Jerry Lynn to be this great, all time wrestler (not me, never) so the logical step for Joe after failing with two other partners before is to go with someone like Lynn. The issue is, I feel like even the sick fucks who do hold Lynn up on a pedestal even wouldn’t be crazy enough to say Lynn is or was ever at the same level as AJ Styles or Bryan Danielson, then, now or before. So it falls flat. Plus, it’s not like Maryland is some special area for Jerry Lynn to where he’s going to boost ticket sales. Minnesota definitely, Philly maybe. But not fuckin’ Maryland. Match is fine. Joe starts off the same as he did the last two matches by just bombarding both Briscoes with his tank like offense. But when Lynn comes in, he fails prey early to the Briscoes team work and they start building up the hot tag from Joe. Lynn is bland as hell, just nothing really added to the match at all. At one point, he’s in a hold and some fan yells “JERRY WHAT ARE YOU DOING?!” and Lynn yells back “WRESTLING, WHAT THE WWF FIRED ME FOR!” and I can feel the fucking skin want to crawl off my body. Fuck you man. You’re the most bland, average dude ever who got lucky into having two above average series of matches ever with one of the best in ring dudes ever in Kid and arguably one of the best ever in some people’s eyes, RVD. And that’s it. Nothing else about your career stands out yet we’re supposed to hold you in some sort of reverence. Fuck off. ANYWAY. Joe does finally get the hot tag and all four men just start brawling, ref loses all control. Joe has Mark pinned but Cornette gets in the ring and throws the racket down when Joe goes after him. The ref gets Cornette out of the ring and JAY BRAINS JOE WITH THE RACKET AND COVERS TO WIN!
***ish

Post match, the Briscoes and Cornette get the hell out of dodge. Joe comes to and Lynn tells him what happened, SO JOE HITS THE REF WITH THE ISLAND DRIVER! And then like a fart at a picnic, Lynn adds nothing to the party when he does his shitty little Cradle Piledriver. Really hoping this is his last ROH date until the Really Bad Thing happens in 2009. But it probably won’t be. 

Backstage, Joe is pacing around and annoyed when the camera asks for comment. Joe rants about what happened but says you know what fuck it. Jay pinned him, so Jay wants a title match? He’s got it. But this time: no Cornette, no rackets, no partners, no inbred brothers. Just Joe, Jay and a steel cage. He then turns his attention to the Prophecy both winning tonight in the contenders match and what the 2YA match is now, and he’s happy to end this Prophecy war once and for all. Just then, Maff & Whitmer attack Joe and lay him out. 

Elsewhere, we rejoin the Prophecy later on. They’re proud they went 3 for 3 tonight and say it’s all for Daniels and they love him. They vow to get the job done at the 2YA show. 

And finally, Suga Sean Price finally catches up with Homicide as hes leaving. He’s hoping for a word finally. Homicide is pissed off and says tonight may have been his last match in ROH because he doesn’t know where he’s at mentally anymore. He’s going away for a bit. He might miss one, two, three, hell, even more shows than that. But ROH is his heart and his strength. And when he comes back, he’ll rain down hell on everyone in his way. YEAH YEAH YEAH WHAT THE BLOODCLOT BABY. BBDDDDDDAT. 

NEXT MONTH: THE PURE TITLE TOURNAMENT! JOE/MAFF/WHITMER!

ROH: THE BATTLE LINES ARE DRAWN - 1/11/2004

Roberts Center
Wilmington, OH
January 11th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 10 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 3 Defenses)

On the JAPW/ROH joint show the night before, Joe defended the belt against BALLS MAHONEY and retained.

To start the show, the newly revamped Prophecy is backstage standing by. Daniels talks about the war with the Group that was started with one shot and then ended with one shot and how Michael Shane and CW Anderson were victims, and how Joe had his shoulders to the mat courtesy of Maff and almost lost the belt to Daniels. So the Saints should take that as a warning since the first shot was already fired in their war when BJ took out Lucy. Tonight, much like they did against the Group? They end this before it starts. And that is not a promise, that is not a threat. That is the gospel, according to the word of the Fallen Angel. Amen, Hallelujah.

Daniels cold open promos would segue PERFECT into the mid 90s ECW Hardcore TV opening.

It’s time for another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. Joe’s got a couple of job guys in there and he’s going to demonstrate an abdominal stretch and toss. He sets one guy up but Danielson shows up and says he’s doing it wrong and shows the right way of doing it. And they both stretch and toss (hot???) the job guys before getting in each others face. They talk about being partners tonight because Joe needs someone he can rely on to get the job done against the Briscoes and take those belts. Danielson says that WHEN they win tonight, those belts will be the first to go around his waist. But they won’t be the last, because he’s taking Joe’s World Title belt. Joe is fine with him trying but suggests they get through tonight first. He offers Bryan a handshake, but Bryan says he will NOT shake Joe’s hand until right before their world title match, and AFTER he beats him for that belt.

Former member of the NEW Heavenly Bodies, Chris Nelson, is now on commentary with Gabe. Are they already moving Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein out?

Anyway. Nelson used to guest star on the old Between the Ropes podcast because his tag partner Vito was the co-host, and he once made a joke that I stole and use in my real life often til this day. In reference to writing his life story, he said it would be called “First to Come and Last to Arrive: The Chris Nelson Story”.

Match #1: Alex Shelley vs. Matt Stryker [Pure Rules Match]
This is a preview of the 2YA show which will feature a one night tournament to crown the first Pure Champion. Rules are each man has three rope breaks and there’s no closed fists. Shelley is so god damn good. I’ve always been a fan, but my GWE project has helped me look at him in such a different light. He’s able to not only carry Stryker to maybe his best ROH match yet, but make him actually look good too! Stryker does his bland offense but the way Shelley sells it, and then the way Shelley is able to evolve his style throughout the match to not only showcase his wide array of skill, but to force Stryker to have to get just a smidge creative with his counters and holds. Stryker does some decent work on Shelley’s knee. Nothing otherworldly but Shelley sells incredibly. On a comeback, Shelley runs up the corner to seemingly go for a moonsault, but his knee buckles and he goes down! Stryker immediately goes back to work on it and the pain causes Shelley to burn through his rope breaks and eventually tap to the Stryker Lock.
***

Match #2: Nigel McGuinness (c) vs. Cody Hawk [HWA Heavyweight Championship]
This wasn’t great but it had a brutal moment. Nigel gets showcased here and he’s definitely either hired or about to be hired so hell yeah. But in this throwaway showcase for another company, he fucking breaks out the infamous Nigel/Bryan ring post spot and gets a NASTY fucking cut and is bleeding profusely. Nothing much after that as Hawk isn’t very good but he’s able to at least string together decent work on Nigel’s cut. They exchange some stuff and Nigel gets a leverage pin to retain his belt.
**1/4

Backstage it’s time for another episode of GOOD TIMES GREAT MEMORIES. Colt says they’ll have CM Punk on another time but he brings on his first guest Ace Steel. They do some lame comedy bits that I really don’t feel like repeating including presenting Ace with a trophy for a bowling tournament. Colt asks Feinstein to bring the trophy on but another kid is there in place of RF. This is not a joke. Just…what the fuck man. Anyway, more bad comedy happens until CM Punk storms on and starts flipping out about these dumb jokes and this waste of time of a talk show and how tonight’s important to him and important to them and he needs crazy eyed Ace Steel and he needs the wrestler Colt Cabana. Oh also, Traci Brooks is randomly there. No explanation on why. Punk continues to gaslight both men before they agree he’s right.

Match #3: Chris Sabin vs. Jimmy Jacobs [Pure Wrestling Tournament Qualifier]
Maybe it’s because I just finished watching AEW Collision, but this felt like a match that would’ve been on the heyday of that show. What I mean by that is, it’s very clear Sabin was winning this, and while it was by no means a squash, it was definitely more of a Sabin showcase. This started kind of meh when they were trading MOVEZ N HOLDZ~ on the mat and that, specifically, isn’t Sabin’s strong suit. However, this picked up once it shook the Pure bullshit and got quite fun. At one point this goes to the floor and Sabin drug Jacobs like 3/4s of the way around the ring and threw him HARD into the guard rail. Jacobs gets some time to shine after that but not much. Sabin blocks a hurricanrana off the top and hits a SUPER. CRADLE. SHOCK. (Sorry) to get the win.
***

Match #4: Jimmy Rave vs. Caprice Coleman vs. Rainman vs. Todd Sexton
I saw Caprice Coleman and immediately got PTSD of him doing ROH commentary. But that’s in the present and this is the past. So I’m getting PTSD on something from the future while in the past and writing in the present and I think I’ve just shit my pants. Anyway. This was what it was. I do not know Rainman and was disappointed he did not work a Dustin Hoffman gimmick. I also do not know Sexton. But they are mostly inoffensive compared to a lot of other one-off’s ROH has had up to this point. Coleman was a pretty fun high spot guy that the crowd really got into. Rave is finally showing flashes of what’s yet to come later this year and next. Actually to go back a second, I do remember Rainman from the 2004 TPI now. My fault. I may have made that same joke too in my 2004 TPI review. Back to Rave. He runs this match in the last 1/4 of it and he hits a Basement Knee on Sexton during an attempted roll up sequence which was really cool. Rave gets a big win finally!
**1/4

Backstage, AJ Styles greets Jimmy as he comes thru the curtain. He says he’s proud of him, he finally got a big win, and now he’s ready. Rave asks for what, and AJ says for HIM. Uh oh.

Match #5: AJ Styles vs. Homicide
I was really looking forward to this but I have to admit that it was very disappointing. There’s something about Homicide at this point where, and I don’t know if there’s more to it, but sometimes when he has big matches like this, he just doesn’t deliver. Maybe it’s me. I love the guy. But outside of the last two Corino matches and one of the Joe matches thus far, a lot of his big stuff falls flat. It’s not bad it’s just missing that extra something to make it feel special. These two specifically are capable of better and will do so across TNA television for like 6 months in about 2 years time. The LAX/Phenomenal Angels matches is what hooked me into TNA at that time, so I know they’re capable of better. The match itself isn’t bad. It opens with an extended escalation of trading may work and it’s fine. They build up good to the big spots. Styles is still probably BITW at this point and everything he does looks so crisp, clean and inventive. Cide starts to amp it up towards the end and gets extra stiff which is fun. He hits an INSANE dive where he bounces off the guard rail and goes into the crowd like the first Corino match. Just brutal shit. Styles is able to focus now on Homicide’s injured upper body. Cide tries fighting back but it’s just delaying the inevitable. AJ catches him with a huricanrana and goes right into a Styles Clash to score the W. Again, this isn’t BAD, it’s slightly above average, and to me that’s the let down.
***ish

Backstage, Les Thatcher is here filling in for GMC. Tremendous downgrade. Les puts over the AJ/HOMOcide match, as he pronounces it which I’m sure sent AJ spiraling, and then he brings on his guests the Carnage Crew. He says he has a scoop for them that tonight Special K has a new member but they haven’t said who. Carnage Crew don’t care. DeVito is so pissed about his daughter being a Special K fan and following that lifestyle. Loc says he had to work double overtime all week just to have gas money to get to the show, meanwhile Special K are all flying in on their mommy and daddy’s money. Tonight they’re going to beat some respect into them.

I low key love this feud so much.

Match #6: Carnage Crew/Dunn & Marcos vs. Special K (Dixie/Hydro/Slim J/Matthews) [Scramble Match]
So I guess Joey is the new member? But he was already a member he just hadn’t been booked idk. But this is a great lineup for Special K so I’m hyped. All of Special K die on everything and Joey gets to be the workhorse a bit. Slim J gets to shine in his first appearance I think since the Red match. Dunn & Marcos are fine but the Crew are fucking beating the shit out of these dudes. Naturally, DeVito blades on kind of a random spot on the floor. Big dive train happens until the Crew corner Dixie and hit him with the Raven Bomb ‘98 (that’s what I am calling it). They go to pin Dixie but the ref is pulled out. Just then, two extremely hot women lead out ABYSS?! FUCK YEAH. ABYSS HITS LOC WITH THE SHOCK TREATMENT AND MY GOD ABYSS IS THE MYSTERY MAN. Abyss destroys the entire babyface team and Slim J covers Loc to win. Fun stuff.
**3/4

Post-match, Abyss hits all of the babyfaces with Black Hole Slams while Special K parties. Sadly I’m reading this is Abyss’ last appearance for a while due to what’s coming behind the scenes in ROH.

Joe and Bryan have matching gear for the next match and I just think that’s neat.

Match #7: The Briscoe Brothers (c) vs. Samoa Joe/Bryan Danielson [ROH Tag Team Championships]
Now this is a match that fucking delivered. The tension between Joe/Bryan is great and there’s obviously a ton of similarities between this and the match a couple weeks back when Joe teamed with AJ. But there’s natural evolution here because A, Danielson works this like two singles matches against each Briscoe, B, because Joe’s learned his lessons against the Briscoes thus far and also tries to work this like two singles matches where he’s absolutely brutal on offense which rules, and C, because as I’ve often brought up in these reviews, the Briscoes story being their evolution as brothers into evolving as a team is really good and nuanced with each match. They also keep the Cornette stuff alive by having the Briscoes break out a lot of 1980s territory tag team cheating techniques. The part of this match I like the most is the differences between Joe and Bryan’s styles and how it plays into the match. Joe gets a hot tag and just murders the Briscoes in quick fashion. Bryan gets tagged back in on the finishing run, and Bryan is not really a tag guy, and he sticks to that “treating this like a 1v1 match” which ends up leaving Joe on an island on the outside as the Briscoes, as a unit, are able to change places intermittently between Joe on the floor and Bryan in the ring. And eventually it pays off as Mark takes a bullet on the floor as Joe hits him with repeated Ole Kicks, leaving Bryan open to that one moment in time when someone’s able to out wrestle him where Jay traps him with a Jay Driller and gets the win! Good match, tremendous nuanced booking. Love it.
***1/2

I have a lot of issues with some of Gabe’s long term booking goals and even some show-to-show momentum stuff, but I can’t argue that his really nuanced stuff that usually takes place during matches is so damn good.

Match #8: The Second City Saints (Punk/Steel/Cabana) vs. The Prophecy (Daniels/Maff/Whitmer)
This fucking RULES. It totally deserves when honestly it probably shouldn’t. ROH has had quite an issue delivering on matches like these in the past and on top of that there’s a lot of guys in this match with less than stellar histories in these situations, or no history at all. It has a huge fight feeling right from the start and they play it right  by keeping this as a straight tag match to start. A lot of different good to great combinations go down. Great Punk/Daniels stuff as Punk keeps going in and out to avoid Daniels, and Daniels avoiding a lot of BS thrown at him by the Saints which is stuff Daniels had the Prophecy doing a year back. Great touch. There’s a time killing brawl on the floor but it leads to Maff getting cut and the Saints spending the rest of that match working the cut over really good. Colt even breaks out some Freebird Hayes offense and strutting at one point. Daniels gets the super hot tag and cleans house on everyone and it’s great. The match really starts to break down into a pier six brawl and in the melee, the ref gets hit with an accidental chair shot and the match gets thrown out.
***1/4

This gets fucking wild now. All six men are brawling all across the arena. They’re in the crowd throwing chairs. The refs are out to control it but Punk throws another ref into the steel post. Maff has Ace choked with the camera cable and then starts dragging him around ringside with it. In the ring, Traci Brooks attacks Allison but BJ stops this and HE TAKES OUT TRACI WITH THE WRIST CLUTCH EXPLODER! BUT THEN A HOODED FIGURE SLIDES IN AND LOW BLOWS BJ…IT’S LUCY! The Saints hit Whitmer with a Doomsday Blockbuster to take him out, but then Maff comes in with a chair and clears house briefly before the Saints gang up on him as well. They take Maff to the floor and Ace/Punk pick up a piece of the guard rail and RAM IT into Maff who’s up against the post. It’s 3 on 1 against Daniels and he’s just full babyface at this point as he fights back tremendously at first. Punk cuts him off with a cheap shot and now they dive on him like a pack of wolves. They bring a table in and…MY GOODNESS, PUNK HITS A PEPSI PLUNGE THROUGH THE TABLE ON DANIELS.

The Saints pose over top of a face down, motionless Daniels and both Maff and Whitmer are laid out on the floor. The Saints celebrate to the back as Allison screams to get an ambulance while a ton of officials come out to check out on Daniels.

A few thoughts here:

• ROH has a tendency to run their super cool stuff the last year in new towns. Part of me gets that. You need something new to hook that new town in and keep them coming back. They are a touring brand after all. But, it also kind of sucks because this match/angle would’ve been 100% better in Philly or Boston or the RexPlex. Not bumfuck Ohio.
• If Punk wasn’t a made guy before he’s definitely a made guy now.
• This rules because Daniels has lost countless times but because this is ROH and *HE* was the one to bend the rules, he’s never lost like this. This was a complete wiping away of Daniels and all of his pomp and frills by a despot even more despicable than he. The original booking, as I am to understand it, was that Daniels would be out of action in ROH for a while to sell this and then return for the big singles match against Punk in the summer. But obviously, that doesn’t happen.

Backstage, Alex Shelley is on stand by to officially introduce himself. He says he has talent on loan from God and 2004 will be his year.

Back out in the arena, the crowds been sent out of the arena. They have the ring crew taking off the bottom rope as Les Thatcher and others tend to Daniels, who’s still KO’d and not moving.

Backstage, Punk is with the Saints and they’re all showing their own cost of war style injuries. A soft voiced Punk tells Daniels that this is what war brings and he made a proclamation to end Daniels and the Prophecy and his Saints didn’t let him down. Colt has two injured shoulders, Traci survived BJ’s deadly finisher, Ace is battered and beaten but nobody makes him as proud as he is of his Lucy, returning to the scene of the crime to earn her vengeance. He says that 2004 is the year of the Saints, and next, they may go after all the belts, all the power and then the world.

Back in the arena, more people are tending to Daniels. They have the bottom rope off now and are loading Daniels onto a table as a makeshift gurney. They start taking him out of the ring and Allison has them shut the cameras off.

Backstage, Dan Maff is pissed at the Saints and blames it all on BJ Whitmer trying to beat up on a woman again instead of focusing on the task at hand. Maff says this issue is now personal as his mentor lay in a hospital bed, and this will be a different Prophecy moving forward.

IN THREE-ISH WEEKS: BACKSEATS/SPECIAL K/CARNAGE CREW! PUNK/HOMICIDE II! JOE GETS ANOTHER SHOT AT THE TAG TITLES WITH ANOTHER PARTNER!