Sunday, March 17, 2024

ROH: BITTER FRIENDS, STIFFER ENEMIES - 8/16/2003

ROH: BITTER FRIENDS, STIFFER ENEMIES

Sacred Heart University
Fairfield, CT
August 16th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 5 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 4 Defenses)


Sorry for the brief absence (if there’s anyone actually reading). Work was busy this week plus the last two ROH shows were boring and bad, respectively, and I needed a bit of a break. This show *looks* stellar. Let’s see if it delivers.

The show starts with a shot of an arm tattoo that reads “RUST NEVER SLEEPS”, and the camera pulls back to reveal it belongs to RAVEN. Raven says it’s come to his attention that he’s been fingered as the prime suspect for Lucy’s beatdown last month because somebody left a note behind that says “Rust Never Sleeps”. Well while we’re at it if you’re gonna blame him, blame Neil Young too. Hell, maybe blame Crazy Horse as well. He says he has nothing to do with Lucy’s beatdown, but he doesn’t hate that it happened. He quite enjoys it. He wasn’t in Dayton though. As far as Punk’s weasel ass, a cage isn’t violent enough he’s starting to believe. Running his skeezy little face across the cage until it bleeds isn’t enough. And there’s only way to turn up the violence. So therefore, he welcomes him to Raven’s Clockwork Orange House of Fun Cage Match. Quoth the Raven, Nevermore.

Elsewhere, Convicted Sex Offender RF is talking to Gabe who’s holding the camera, telling a clearly false story about a woman he slept with. Keep reaching. Punk storms up and shoves RF. He says he was gone ONE MONTH, he missed ONE SHOW since last November, in his absence, his people are dropping like flies. Punk says Ace and Cabana were too afraid to show up tonight because somebody left behind a note with Ravens tattoo on it. Punk wants to know why someone hasn’t been brought to justice. A nervous RF says he’s aware and he will investigate further into it. The Outcast Killaz walk up and interrupt Punk, and Punk says he’s not going to stand here and be interrupted by Special K. The Killaz introduce themselves, and they tell Punk to relax and drink a beer. Punk beats the shit out of both of them and then leaves.

Special K are in the hallways and they say they need more women in the group. They turn a corner and see Alexis Laree. They start trying to flirt with her and she goes on some diatribe about honor and respect. Meanwhile, Becky Bayless sneaks behind her and drops drugs into the drink Alexis had. But Alexis turns in time to see this and kicks the cup out of her hand. She tells Becky to meet her in the ring tonight.

Prince Nana comes out for his match, BUT HOMICIDE GETS OUT TO THE RING AND GRABS A MIC AND HE STARTS SCREAMING FOR CORINO TO GET HIS ASS OUT HERE NOW! Guillotine LeGrande comes out (still no idea who this dude is) and he is representing Corino. GMC runs over with a mic. LeGrande says he'll erase the confusion here. He's been insulted, CW Anderson's been insulted, Jack Victory's been insulted, but Homicide has insulted Steve Corino most of all. He brings Corino son into this, and that's disgusting. Still no recollection of that happening. He says Steve Corino is here and ready, but he's in the back getting a massage and he'll be 100% to kick his ass LATER tonight. LeGrande says he had always admired and respected Homicide, but he's turned out to be an ROH puppet lately. Homicide starts to jaw at him but then NANA SPINS HOMICIDE AROUND! Nana challenges Homicide to face him, and Gabe notes that Nana’s opponent was set to be Tortuga but he was a victim of the Punk beatdown. Homicide laughs and accepts.

Match #1: Homicide vs. Prince Nana
It’s noted that Homicide does not have Smokes with him being true to his word. Dude did I miss a whole Homicide promo or something where he makes this promise and insults Corino’s kid? Nana gets a few surprising shots in right away to take Cide off guard. All of Nana’s offense is centered around his gigantic ass. Cide quickly makes his comeback and this turns in to a fun quick squash. Cide wins with his Torture STF.
**

Post-match, Homicide gets back on the mic. He says Corino is dead tonight, and actually, HE WANTS IT RIGHT FUCKING NOW. CSO RF comes out and says he'll get him now and Homicide yells that he wants him NOW! GMC comes out instead and says Corino WILL be out later on and says to relax, and the match will happen. He leaves and Homicide says Corino is a dead man tonight, and you're gonna fucking see it. Then he says FUCK YOU BITCH to the camera.

Backstage, the Carnage Crew are talking. DeVito says he couldn’t make it to the Dayton show because he got called in to work. But he had off Saturday night and he wanted to relax but the kids were crying and his wife was nagging him and he couldn’t stand it. Loc says at least he wasn’t there to get pinned by those Special K shitheads like he was. They do a lot of yelling about Special K’s wealth and lack of respect, and they’re pissed off and they’re gonna take it out on everyone in their match tonight.

There’s a Purists vs. Dunn/Marcos match but THANK CHRIST, it’s a clip job.

In the back, Dan Maff is standing by. Maff says to go through with your future, you have to deal with your past. That's exactly what he'll do tonight to Low Ki. In 1998, they didn’t meet as Dan Maff and Low Ki, they met as two regular people trying to get to the same place. Throughout the years, Low Ki got bigger, faster, and stronger. He went and became an international superstar. An indie wrestling god, larger than life. Everyone looks up to him. He went to Japan before anyone else did. He got the honor of walking down Madison Square Garden. He became the first ROH Champion! And recently, he fulfilled his dream and teamed with the Great Muta. And Dan Maff was always walking behind him, always held back and in his shadow. But it's finally a new day and a new age. Because Maff grew up. Maff got bigger and badder and turned into the biggest badass that ROH has to offer. It's them for the first time here tonight, and it's in Low Ki's house, ROH. But Low Ki is yesterday's news. He's the original demon from Bed-Stuy DO OR DIE. He's the hired assassin, under the eye of the Fallen Angel. He's tired of hearing and reading about Low Ki. He's tired of his stupid music and people chanting his name. PISS ON LOW KI. PISS ON HIM. HE'S SICK OF THIS GARBAGE. IT'S HIS TURN AND HIS TIME. The sickest thing was when he went home, IN HIS OWN GOD DAMNED HOUSE, and he goes to tuck his daughter in and he asked who her favorite wrestler was, just joking as her daddy. AND SHE SAID LOW KI. AND FOR THE FIRST TIME IN TEN YEARS, HE FELT LIKE SMACKING THE SHIT OUT OF HER. SHE DISRESPECTED HIM AND LOW KI, HE WILL NOT BEAT HIM. HE'LL HAVE TO KILL HIM. Holy shit, a would-be career defining promo, but alas.

At the start of the next match, it's announced that the Field of Honor is an  8-man tournament with two blocks of 4, round robin style. Still no idea what its purpose is.

Match #2: BJ Whitmer vs. Matt Stryker [Invitation to Field of Honor Match]
This wasn’t any good. Not that I was expecting a hidden gem with these two but it just stunk. Felt like a fight with no real reason to be one, i.e. little to no limb work or selling, no psychology. Just two dudes throwing moves at each other. And it goes on doing that for absurdly long as they end up drawing at the 15 minute mark. Whatever.
*1/2

Post-match, GMC comes out and announces that due to the draw, both men will be in the Field. Crowd goes mild.

Match #3: Special K (Dixie/Izzy) vs. Backseat Boyz vs. Carnage Crew vs. The SAT [Tag Team Scramble]
I honestly think there’s an argument to be made for the SAT being one of the worst teams of the 2000’s. They actively drag down every match they’re in. This would’ve probably been a solid three star affair without their involvement. But they botch and slip around all over the place and don’t have it in them to recover properly like Special K do. Carnage Crew and Backseats carried this to at least being passable. Finish came when Carnage Crew hit Izzy with the Carnage Driver but all of Special K breaks it up with NO DQ being called. In the melee, the Special K members switch around and Kashmere hits who he thinks is Dixie with the Cradlebreaker but the real Dixie in another persons big fuzzy hat rolls Kashmere up for the upset win. Nice.
**

Post-match, Special K and their girls start to rave again but it’s interrupted by Alexis Laree coming out for her match.

Match #4: Alexis Laree vs. Becky Bayless
Awful. Becky is Jenna Morasca levels of bad. But I don’t know why she’s being put into this situation. Special K keep attacking Alexis behind the ref’s back, which eventually leads to some HIJINX SPOTS~ where Alexis keeps evading them causing them to collide. Alexis finally catches Becky and hits her with an Inverted DDT to win. Poop.
1/4*

Before the next match, the two men face off in the ring. Xavier gets on the mic and says everyone here thinks that Christopher Daniels is the leader of The Prophecy. But in reality, HE was the real leader. HE was the ROH champion for 6 months, and he beat the best. They chose HIM to be champion because he was always the better man, better athlete, and better wrestler. So as good as friends as they may be, Daniels should just lay down and let Xavier bring The Prophecy back to greatness. Daniels doesn’t like this. Daniels gets the microphone and says Xavier was only the ROH Champion because he LET him win that belt. He was ROH Champion BECAUSE IT WAS HIS PLAN, THE PLAN OF THE FALLEN ANGEL. AND IF THERE'S SOMEONE IN THIS RING WHO HAS THE BRAINS FOR A PLAN LIKE THAT, IT CLEARLY ISN'T XAVIER. HE is the leader of The Prophecy, HE makes the decisions, and HE won't ask Xavier to lay down for him…because he doesn't need him to lay down for him for him to win. GET HIS ASS.

Match #5: Christopher Daniels vs. Xavier [#1 Contd’rs Trophy]
The Fallen Angel is a miracle worker because he drags probably the best match Xavier is ever capable of having out of him. He’s still lacking in so many basic fundamental departments like just the idea of learning how to sell. But on offense, he’s a bit tighter with his work. He focuses on Daniels’ neck, which is always a weak point. At one point, he sends Daniels off the apron head first into the guard rail and it opens the match up for a long AND SURPRISINGLY NOT AWFUL control segment. Daniels keeps attempting comebacks but his own offensive arsenal causes him to hurt himself. Additionally, to play off the “the former partners know each other too well” bit, both men do a great job at finding ways out of or avoiding altogether the big moves of the other man. They do a double lariat spot where they both go down and Daniels sells the shot to the neck like death. Xavier tries to go the extra mile by using the ropes on his finishing run, but the ref catches him. BUT MOMENTS LATER, DUE TO POSITIONING, THE REF TOTALLY MISSES DANIELS GETTING A FISTFUL OF TRUNKS ON AN O’CONNOR ROLL TO WIN! DANIELS FINALLY GETS HIS WOLRD TITLE SHOT AND THE CROWD LOVES IT!
***1/4

In the back during intermission, GMC is standing by a door with a crudely drawn sign that says “KEEP OUT - ZERO ONE TALENT ONLY”. GMC says it’s Steve Corino’s locker room and they’re going to go in and find out why Corino wasn’t ready for the Homicide match earlier. GMC goes to enter the locker room, BUT CM PUNK COMES OUT OF IT. FORESHADOWING~ Punk is screaming for Chris Daniels and GMC says he doesn’t know where he is so Punk leaves. GMC heads in and asks Corino if he's ready for tonight’s match and he's also heard about his neck. Corino says his neck is fine and LeGrande says all he said was he wasn't ready when Homicide was out there, and Corino says he only works main events. He determines when he works, and they kick GMC out. Nice.

Match #6: Deranged vs. Hydro vs. Jonny Storm vs. Slyk Wagner Brown [Four Corner Survival Match]
Slyk sucks so much ass. But he had a funny spot where he tosses both Special K guys from the ring and calls for Storm to do a running leap off his back to the floor, but as Storm hits the ropes Wagner takes his head off with a lariat. I LOVE THAT. The rest of this is what it is. Some fun spots from the Special K guys but the other two really stink. Finish comes when Storm whiffs on an SSP attempt and Deranged hits him with a poisonrana to win.
*3/4

Punk comes out for his match and is welcomed with chants of “YOU DRANK BEER!” Punk grabs a mic and asks if anyone here knows what it's like to almost have everything you've believed in ripped away from you, and then have the thing you fought the most against poured down your throat in a shithole state like New Jersey. HEY! Punk says he almost did, because of a washed up has-been and a fat never-was. The chants continue and Punk says he expects that from them, but he wants to talk to his soldiers. For those brave enough to stand in the face of oppression and hold up an X. It's that pride, integrity, discipline, faith, and heart that makes them part of something bigger than the rest of them will ever know. In 21 days, you will witness the first ROH steel cage match and it might not be the last one, but it will be the most violent, brutal, unforgiving, bloody, sacrificial match you will see in Ring of Honor. Raven has 21 days to live his life how he sees fit before he smashes his spirit under his boot. He finishes by saying those of you who follow Raven to drugs, depravity, and debauchery can step in this ring, and he'll stamp you out just like he will Raven.

IT’S TIME.


Match #7: Samoa Joe vs. CM Punk [Non-Title Match]
I’d be lying if I said this wasn’t disappointing. It’s certainly not bad it’s good, I enjoyed it. But I also know this isn’t a part of The Trilogy, and I can see why it’s not called a Quadrilogy or whatever dumb internet buzz word. Both men are legit banged up going into this as well, so that adds to the somewhat disappointing nature. Joe busts Punk’s mouth open pretty early and they work around that. Joe goes to set up for the Ole Kick on the floor but PUNK GETS UP AT THE LAST SECOND AND DOES RAVEN’S DROP TOE HOLD TO THE CHAIR BIT AND THEN HITS HIS POSE! I love that this spot is hilariously the only legacy Scotty Riggs left behind in the business. Going back to them both being banged up, commentary notes that Joe’s working through an elbow injury and Punk with a knee injury, and naturally that’s where these two sickos focus on hurting each other the most. Still, the overall match lacked the passion and umph later matches would provide. Again, that doesn’t make it a bad match. Just not a match up to the incredibly high bar they set together in the next two years. Joe continues the knee work til the end, eventually getting Punk to tap out to a vicious looking single leg crab.
***

Post-match, Chris Daniels runs out to attack Joe. Joe tries to stop him with an Enzuiguri BUT DANIELS DUCKS AND HITS JOE WITH THE ANGEL’S WINGS! Daniels holds up the ROH Title to a big pop and then drops it down on Joe. Daniels then looks at Punk and laughs as he struggles to stand up, and Daniels leaves before anything goes down.

Homicide comes out alone for the next match as promised. But of course, Steve Corino comes out with an entourage of Guillotine LeGrande, some of his very own young boys and Bobby Cruise, who’s his personal ring announcer! He’s also draped in all the gold he currently has from around the world. Bobby Cruise takes the mic and introduces LeGrande and then goes on with maybe the greatest ring introduction I’ve ever heard, listing all of Corino’s accomplishments…literally:

A FORMER:

A FORMER:

  •     BCW JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION!
  •     IWA JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     ECWA TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     MEWF LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     MEWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION,
  •     WWC JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     UFCW TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     MCW JUNIOR HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     IPWA TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     IPWA LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     EXW LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     IWF AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     IPW HARDCORE HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     IWA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     MID ATLANTIC CHAMPION
  •     OMEGA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     IHPW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     MCW HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

THEN HE STOPS AND TAKES A WATER BREAK AND THE CROWD BOOS THE HELL OUT OF HIM? Fantastic.

  •     NWA PENNSYLVANIA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     NWA 2000 LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     NWA 2000 AMERICAN HERITAGE CHAMPION
  •     NWA FLORIDA HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     NWA US TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     NWA WORLD LIGHT HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     NWA NORTH AMERICAN HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     PWF TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     PWF UNIVERSAL CHAMPION
  •     PRO WRESTLING ZERO1 U.S. CHAMPION
  •     NWA WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION
  •     AND ECW WORLD HEAVYWEIGHT CHAMPION

HE IS THE CURRENT:

  •     NWA SOUTHERN CHAMPION
  •     NWA INTERCONTINENTAL TAG TEAM CHAMPION
  •     AND MLW WORLD CHAMPION

FROM SEA ISLE CITY, NJ. HE IS THE EXTREME HORSEMEN, THE KING OF OLD SCHOOL, AND THE **FUCKING GOD** OF PRO WRESTLING, STEVE CORINO!

AND THE YOUNG BOYS THROW STREAMERS IN BUT THEN IMMEDIATELY SLIDE IN THE RING TO CLEAN THEM UP!


And it’s on!


Match #8: Steve Corino vs. Homicide [No Holds Barred]
One of the craziest, bloodiest matches I’ve ever seen. This has such a huge feeling to it from the get go, and it’s so ultra stiff, violent and filled to the brim with hatred. Early on, they’re exchanging basic holds but it’s done with such force and disregard for each other that it comes across like an actual fight. Corino keeps one upping Homicide and refuses to acknowledge him as a peer. For instance, Homicide tries to get in a slap battle but Corino won’t even dignify that BECAUSE IT WOULD BE ADMITTING HOMICIDE IS ON HIS LEVEL. SO HOMICIDE BELTS CORINO WITH THE STIFFEST, LOUDEST, MOST BRUTAL SLAP ACROSS THE SIDE OF THE HEAD THAT I’VE EVER SEEN/HEARD. Corino IMMEDIATELY crumbles down in pain and rolls out, holding the ear. The story is that til this very day, Corino has hearing problems in that ear. I dunno if that’s a work or not though. A frustrated Corino tries to leave but as he gets to the entry way, JULIUS SMOKES IS HERE AFTER ALL! And he’s got Grim Reefer and Slugga with him! Commentary points out the question of why Slugga is with the Rottweilers and I guess that’ll be answered at another time.

Corino’s forced back to the ring and Smokes stays at ringside now. Homicide begins working Corino over in and out of the ring. Homicide focuses on Corino’s bad arm/shoulder/neck area, AND THEN TAKES OUT A STRAND OF BARBED WIRE AND REPEATEDLY SLICES CORINO’S BAD ARM! AND THEN TAKES OUT A FORK AND STARTS STABBING HIM ON IT. *AND THEN* STARTS BITING THE OPEN WOUNDS, AND HIS MOUTH IS FILLED WITH CORINO’S BLOOD. JESUS.


Corino ends up fighting Homicide off and gets lucky with a strike that busts Homicide open on the forehead. So Corino repays the favor by first, DIGGING HIS FINGERS INTO THE WOUND AND PEELING IT OPEN, MOTHER OF CHRIST.


THEN HE USES THE BARBED WIRE ON HOMICIDE TOO!  Homicide is bleeding so much that if he lays anywhere for literally more than 5-10 seconds, a LARGE pool of blood pours onto the floor/mat.



Homicide kicks out of a piledriver in the ring and rolls to the floor immediately but accidentally rolls onto the ringside table instead, SO CORINO GOES OUT AND HITS THE FUNK STYLE PILEDRIVER ON HOMICIDE THROUGH THE TABLE!

Homicide refuses to stay down and starts to get his second wind. He gets Corino up against the guard rail and then goes back in the ring for a Tope Con Hilo attempt, BUT JUST LIKE IN FEBRUARY, CORINO MOVES AND HOMICIDE LANDS WITH ONE OF THE NASTIEST THUDS EVER ACROSS THE BARRICADE!


Jesus Christ. AND THEN TO CAPITALIZE ON IT, JUST LIKE HE DID AT THE 1YA, CORINO LOCKS ON THE COBRA CLUTCH SLEEPER. BUT HOMICIDE FINDS A WAY TO THE ROPES! Homicide fights off a second attempt when they’re on their feet and gains his third wind, going on a crazy comeback. The match starts to become a little long in the tooth and a little ridiculous with just how much big stuff they start throwing at each other just for the repeated kick outs to happen. But it also kind of works because it helps get across how much these two HATE each other and are not willing to lay there for even three seconds to give the other the satisfaction. They both really start to sell the exhaustion well. Corino does a superplex that ends up hurting not only his already bad neck, but aggravates the ear injury from earlier. This gives Homicide time to recover and NAIL Corino with a stiff lariat. Homicide has him down and locks on the Torture STF! He’s got it on for a WHILE and Corino just WILL NOT TAP. Eventually, someone comes to their senses and LeGrande throws in the towel for Corino to end it. Homicide wins, but Corino was NOT pinned and did NOT tap, and this is NOT over.

God damn. Easily the best match I’ve seen yet in ROH and probably one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. Like with one viewing, this immediately may have shot up into my top 25-50 matches ever.
****3/4

Post-match, a decent amount of time passes before anyone gets up to their feet. Homicide is helped up by Smokes while the young boys, LeGrande and some refs are checking on Corino. Homicide celebrates like a mad man to a standing ovation. He grabs a bottle of water and sips from it before standing over Corino and pouring it down on Corino’s face as a final insult before leaving.

I don’t know how you follow any of that. Zero clue how that wasn’t the main event.

Match #9: Low Ki vs. Dan Maff
This was alright but it didn’t need to be the main event. Like this is truly a baffling decision to me. Crowd is dead for it, too. Ki is extra stiff here, probably because he’s a dick but maybe because it’s his friend and he didn’t want to look like he was mailing it in? In fact, he’s so stiff that around 8-9 minutes in, he hits a springboard gamenguri on Maff that legitimately knocks him out. The ref checks on Maff who is not moving and commentary tries to move things along (which is super weird because everyone knows this is post recorded commentary.) Ki quickly covers to win.
**


Oof.

Maff’s heel turn has been pretty unfortunate. First, Joe gets the knee on him in that angle that legit injures his jaw but alright fine sets up a match. Then his dad unfortunately passes away and of course he’s rightfully going to get some babyface love for that. Now in his big match against his former best friend, he gets knocked out a little less than halfway through. Just a bummer all around.

Backstage, Special K are tending to Becky Bayless. They go into the locker room to find Alexis Laree and she dares them all to fight right here. Becky says she comes in peace. She verbally lathers Alexis up long enough that one of the Special K members is able to slip behind Alexis and spike her drink. Special K then leave and we see Alexis drink her drink. Okay.

In the back, Christopher Daniels cuts a promo. He says it was another stellar night for The Prophecy, as he got one step closer to winning the ROH Title. As for Dan Maff, he proved his value to The Prophecy. Not only did he end The Group, but he took Ki's best shot tonight, THE KICK HEARD ROUND THE WORLD, and he still survived, and that is why he's the toughest wrestler in Ring of Honor. Daniels also notes that tonight he may have had a problem with Xavier tonight, but it's a spat between family to be dealt with in due time. Danger interrupts to say she thought it looked pretty bad but he quiets her down. Daniels says that he is one step closer to his DESTINY. Not only did he win the trophy, but he left Samoa Joe on his back.

But then, CM Punk comes over! He gets in Daniels face and asks if he did it to Lucy. Daniels warns Punk that he's in no condition to mouth off like this with that bad knee, and he should worry about September 6th and Raven, not Lucy. He warns Punk that Raven has promised that it will be the most violent match of his career which is saying something. Punk says he's not done with them and they’re little Prophecy, and then takes over the camera.

He says that on October 25th, 1997, he made his debut and he X'd out his hands as a symbol. He lived under the guise of a drunken father in a broken home, seeing things that no child should ever have to see, and he’s got to relive that because of Raven and a fat never-was pouring beer down his throat. He hates Raven, and 21 days from now, Raven claims violence, but he has no idea. Be careful what you wish for. Punk says that he beats Raven again and again and again, and still he comes back for more. But after he stands on his throat and listens to his death rattle in 3 weeks, he will know his name is CM Punk and that straight edge means he's better than him. Punk leaves, and Daniels laughs maniacally.

IN THREE WEEKS: THE FIELD OF HONOR BEGINS! PUNK/RAVEN IN A CAGE!

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