St. Paul, MN
April 23rd, 2004
ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 12 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 6 Defenses)
In the aftermath, TNA immediately pulled Daniels, Styles and Lynn from any ROH dates for the foreseeable future. Daniels was supposed to return on this weekends shows to keep the feud with Punk going, Styles was Pure Champ, and now that title has been shelved indefinitely, and Lynn was supposed to stick around for a while. Daniels returns in the summer, Styles doesn’t return until *I think* the end of this year, and thankfully Jerry Lynn doesn’t return for like 4-5 years.
Raven was supposed to return to ROH here but that got shelved and I don’t think he ever makes another appearance with the company. No idea what the creative plans for him were supposed to be.
And CM Punk, who was under a deal with TNA, opted to stay with ROH over TNA, and he’s basically a made guy to the ROH fanbase (if he wasn’t already). As I understand it, this also started the somewhat low-laying beef between AJ/Punk that was last brought up by AJ this past WrestleMania XL weekend.
On paper, ROH is in a bad spot here. This probably would’ve killed a lot of other independent companies, but with this all happening, it ends up creating a ton of room at the top of the card, and Gabe fires off a number of absofuckinglutely right calls in a row that brings ROH into its golden era.
So as I said in the tweet to hype the last review, At Our Best felt like the end to Act One of ROH. And while these next few shows don’t exactly start Act Two, they serve as good connective tissue between the two eras to set everything up that is yet to come.
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To start the show, we got a pretape with Homicide. He’s pissed at Samoan Joe for attacking Smokes at the last show when he was just trying to deliver a message. Cide reminds Joe of what happened when they last met in the Fall, and says his days are number (for such a scary man his speech impediment is just adorable!). Ichiban, motherfucker.
Elsewhere, the Carnage Crew talk about how great it was to main event the last show. All their hard work paid off and when they got backstage it all went to shit LITERALLY. They’re really mad about someone pooping in their bags and they’re gonna find out who. They have Dunn & Marcos tonight and they like them, but, even if it wasn’t them who did this, they’re gonna get hurt like they were unless they can name names.
Out in the arena, it’s another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. Joe has two students with him and wants to talk about various chokes since he faces Homicide tonight and last time they faced he choked Joe out. Except Joe doesn’t need a noose to do it. Bryan Danielson interrupts and says he doesn’t think Joe has credentials to be teaching this class because chokes in professional wrestling are ILLEGAL. He shows what to really do, and pulls one of the students over and shows the proper way to do a front face lock and breaks it down well in a bit of a cool inside baseball moment. Joe steps up and says he’s got a big problem with Danielson and Danielson mentions how the last time they were in the ring together, Joe was too busy cheerleading to come and help him in the ring. Joe says that Bryan was the one who lost and that’s not his problem. Bryan says the next time he sees Joe in this ring, he dates Joe to put the belt on the line. Because the next time he sees Joe in this ring? He’s beating him for it.
Outside, Dunn & Marcos hype the crowd up.
Match #1: Nigel McGuinness vs. Matt Stryker
Obvious that Stryker isn’t going to lose here because he’s got that title shot against Joe on the next show. Whatever. Least offensive Stryker match in a long while. Nigel is good here. Nigel sells really the knee really well, but Stryker isn’t coordinated or focused enough to know how to capitalize on the gift Nigel is giving him here. Sure that could be because the majority of people Stryker’s worked with this past year are really bad. But I choose to think of it as Stryker being bad. As he is one of the most incomplete and incompetent wrestlers I’ve ever seen. Anyway, they get into a pinning combo exchange and Stryker gets the best when Nigel tries a bridge but his knee buckles. Good touch.
**
Backstage, Ricky Steamboat is here! And he’s giving off huge divorced dad energy with his pleather jacket and goatee. But I love him. Anyway. He says he’s signed on with ROH to oversee a series of matches that involve the Prophecy and the Saints. He says it reminds him one of his greatest, bloodiest most hardcore feuds…against Don Muraco and Mr. Fuji. Hahaha what. He says ROH has given him the call and he’s gonna make sure he maintains order.
Match #2: Carnage Crew vs. Dunn & Marcos
If ROH had a weekly tv show at this point, this is a perfect match for that. Unfortunately this is really just here to fill a hole in the card I’m sure with so many people no longer booked. And it’s fine. Goes on a little long but it’s fine. At one point, DeVito is beating the hell out of Dunn and he keeps yelling DID YOU SHIT IN OUR BAGS?! WHO DID IT?! Dunn & Marcos get a brief hope spot and a near fall but the Crew regroup and take Marcos out with a Carnage Driver to win.
**
Backstage, it’s time for another edition of GOOD TIMES GREAT MEMORIES. Colt comes on screen and has added a monologue to this bit. And it’s really bad. Like even by 2004 edgelord standards, it’s bad. He plugs the new ROHWrestling.com and then talks about ROH’s tag division growing. He mentions their newest signees the Havana Pitbulls and makes a bunch of really lame jokes. The Pitbulls walk on and are very serious and clearly very nervous but they power through. They’re not happy Colt’s making fun of them or their country. They say they’re here for one reason: to make money and to win the belts (this wasn’t a typo). They leave so Cabana calls on his emergency guest, Becky Bayless. Absolutely. She says she hasn’t been able to get in touch with any of the Special K members in weeks since the last show and she’s hoping her appearance on the show today will spread awareness. Colt then tricks her into various ways of showing off her boobies.
Match #3: Justin Credible vs. John Walters
VERY BAD. I’ve oft remarked in these reviews that while I find the entire “Pure” contingent Gabe’s brought in to be mostly abhorrent, Walters is usually the least offensive. That being said: no chance in hell he’s carrying a pilled up Justin Credible to anything even remotely decent. This match is remarkably bad and even at 9 minutes felt like it went 18. Walters escapes the THATS INCREDIBLE and gets Credible with a decent Lungblower to win.
*1/4
Match #4: Alex Shelley vs. Danny Daniels vs. Jack Evans vs. Jimmy Jacobs vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Masada
This was a good time. There’s probably nothing to this, but to me, this felt like a rehearsal to see what newer guys from out on the scene could take ROH to the next step with all these openings now, and obviously four of them succeed in impressing. Everybody gets their shit in and it’s a good time at varying degrees. Obviously the main four are the ones who stand out but I didn’t think Daniels or Masada were terrible. But they definitely don’t fit the mold in ROH. They make sure to keep coming back to the Shelley/Jacobs friendship and they add tension to the relationship as both are really starting to stand out in ROH. Jacobs’ neck gets targeted through the match ending with an awesome package piledriver from Daniels. They then start one of the famous dive trains that builds to the crescendo of Jack taking everyone on the floor out with a Phoenix Splash in an incredible sight. Shelley is in the ring to do his dive but he looks and sees Jacobs still down on the mat from the move by Daniels, and instead of diving to the outside, HE LOCKS JACOBS IN THE BORDER CITY STRETCH TO GET THE WIN. YEAH!
***
Code of Honor observed by all and Shelley takes his victory lap around the ring. The camera follows him to the back, and as soon as he comes through the curtain he sees Jacobs sitting up against the wall holding his neck, and Shelley immediately starts holding his neck. He bends down and says he’ll take a knee since Jimmy can’t get up. He tells Jimmy not to be upset about losing to him, because he’s got TALENT ON LOAN FROM GOD, even if HIS neck hurts him a bit but he can tough it out. He says on tomorrow nights show, they’re part of a tag team scramble, and he wants to know if Jimmy’s gonna be good to go? Because it would really upset him if he had to cut some excess baggage. Jacobs hesitates but looks up and says they’re good. Shelley is glad and stands up and throws a HUSS at Jacobs in a super mocking way. Jacobs does his own HUSS under his breath and Shelley hears him as he leaves but Jacobs says he didn’t say anything.
Two extremely exciting paths just started. Hell yeah.
Ricky Steamboat comes out in stripes to ref the Cabana/Whitmer match. Cabana’s music hits and he comes out with Punk. Now listen to me. I’m watching this really late at night so this was lost on me at first but when I realized what was going on, I legitimately cackled. It popped me. Cabana comes out with a cabbage patch doll and I’m like what the fuck is this goof doing now? This shits corny. And it wasn’t until he got in the lights of the ringside area and walked up to Steamboat I realized he was mocking the Ricky/Richie entrances from WWF & WCW in ‘88 and ‘89 respectively. That fucking got me. The Saints get into the ring and Colt DROPS THE BABY. It even pops Ricky. Good shit.
Punk gets on the microphone and says it's time to talk about past, present, and future. They have the past here in Ricky Steamboat, presently the greatest tag team in wrestling in the Second City Saints, and the future is tomorrow when they travel to a superior city (Chicago) to beat the Briscoes to become the new tag team champions. He says Christopher Daniels is gone, and he doesn't care what you read, it's because of HIM. The Prophecy is dead and tonight, one more member gets the nail driven into his cheap coffin, and he's talking about Hillbilly Jesus, BJ Whitmer. And when they leave Minnesota, just like the North Stars did, they'll go to a better city and he's never coming back.
BJ comes out for the match and him and Colt circle up, and just as Steamer gets in position, PUNK TRIPS HIM FROM THE FLOOR! HE PULLS HIM OUT OF THE RING AND THROWS SOME PUNCHES BEFORE RUNNING STEAMER INTO THE POST! He yells that Steamboat should think twice before he fucking got one over on him, that was for what happened in Jersey! Officials come out and force Punk to the back. Three other refs come out. One gets into the ring to now call the match, and the other two tend to Steamboat. He wants to get back in the ring at first but the refs say he can’t so STEAMBOAT RUNS OFF TO BACK AFTER PUNK.
I *HATE* THAT I KNOW THEY NEVER HAVE A MATCH BUT THIS BUILD IS GREAT.
Match #5: Colt Cabana vs. BJ Whitmer
There’s no Maff or Danger this weekend and obviously no Daniels. If BJ wins this, he gets Ace Steel tomorrow night. One of my bigger criticisms with ROH is that they put the company philosophy over the actual booking constantly. And while that’s worked in most cases, other times it’s caused things to feel rather flat. The last time members of these two factions were in the same ring, they had a huge brawl. So realistically, especially with the enforcer/ref taken out at the start of the match, this should IMMEDIATELY break down into a brawling scenario. But it doesn’t. It starts as a normal wrestling match. I hate that. This DOES course correct because it spills into the crowd with some light weapon usage in the middle of the match, but then that pisses me off too because now it kills the ref and the promotions philosophy. If you’re gonna commit to a bit then commit to it. But look at the end this is reason just for me to rant and fill space that nobody actually reads. So who cares, right? Yeah man. The match itself is pretty good. The brawl into the crowd did help pick things up a bit and added to the back and forth once they were both back in the ring. In a callback to DBD 2003, Whitmer catches Cabana up top quickly and hits a Super Wrist Clutch Exploder to win.
**1/2
Backstage, DAVE PRAZAK debuts and interviews Alex Shelley. He says Shelley was a part of a show stealing match earlier and he wanted to get his thoughts. Shelley puts over his each of his 5 opponents (but kinda doesn’t put over Jacobs) and says while they all have their strengths, he’s the best all around wrestler in that group. He says if anyone watching thought any different then they clearly weren’t thinking. He says that on 5/22 in the city of Philadelphia, ROH is holding a show called GENERATION NEXT. He says that due to “recent events” in ROH, the deck has been shuffled and everything is up for grabs. And HIS TIME will start on May 22nd.
LETS GO.
On a side note, while I’ve grown fond of GMC, PRAZAK is an immediate upgrade on literally anyone (with the exception of Punk) that’s held a mic or put on a headset since ROH has started.
Match #6: Matt Sydal vs. Delirious [Do or Die Match]
Daizee Haze is in Sydal’s corner. This is ROH debuts for both men. And a Do or Die match, as Gabe explained it, is if you look good and you win, you’re going to be entitled to more lucrative booking opportunities in ROH than if you don’t win. I know Sydal quite well, he’s on the borderline of being “one of my guys” if you will. I’ve never seen a Delirious match and the most I know about him is my friend Andy used him as an efed rep once, and when he eventually books ROH, I believe it is when a lot of my friends stopped watching the product (I could be wrong.) This was fun though. Sydal is definitely the better of the two but Delirious was better than I thought. Obviously the gimmick overtakes a lot of the work which is fine. Sydal looks so good. Clean, crisp offense, smooth movement with flips and quick transitions with holds. They battle to the top and Sydal gets the better of Delirious with the Sydal Special to win!
**3/4
Match #7: Briscoe Brothers vs. Havana Pitbulls [Non-Title Match]
The Pitbulls are the first really unique team that the Briscoes have gotten to face and it’s a perfect building block in the ever growing run of the evolution of the Briscoes. They spent the AJ/Red series learning how to become a team, they spent the Joe matches learning how to perfect it, and now in a match like this, they’re getting a chance to use all that they’ve naturally learned against an international team that’s unlike any team they’ve faced yet. On top of that, they’re the first ACTUAL team they’ve faced in a while, especially one at this level, so it adds another wrinkle into this. And what’s great is that while the Briscoes control this early, they’re not getting the partner breakdowns in communication like they’d have with past opponents, they’re operating against a far more well oiled machine than they are. And it frustrates them so they have to resort to just throwing bombs in order to regain control AND keep it. Again, this is shown perfectly with the finish because in the first meeting between two teams in a non-feud (as of now), the Briscoes have to resort to a Spike Jay Driller on Reyes to get the win. Loved everything about this except maybe the run time, went on a little long, but I figured some much had to because the first half of this show had a lot of shorter, sub-11/12 minute matches.
***1/2
Punk comes out first, then Bryan with a shirt that says “I MUST BREAK YOU”. They’re about to start, BUT STEAMBOAT COMES BACK OUT. He grabs mic and says ROH paid him to come here and referee a match and since that opportunity was taken from him earlier tonight, he’s here to ask the crowd if they want him to referee this match. They all go nuts. Steamer asks Bryan if it’s okay with him and he says it is. Punk is flipping out as the original ref agrees and Steamer is now in charge! Steamboat checks Bryan and then goes to check Punk, who refuses at first, but then is drawn out to the center of the ring by Steamer. Ricky then METICULOUSLY checks Punk to piss him off. Punk mouths off so Steamer grabs a mic and asks him what he said. Punk laughs and says that he’s old and broken down and he’s just a referee. Steamer comes back at him with “well this referee is gonna be up your ass all night”. HELL YEAH.
Match #8: CM Punk vs. Bryan Danielson
This is chronologically speaking their first encounter ever but obviously I’ve seen them wrestle before in both WWE and at the TPI which happens later in this year. The TPI match was decent but left me feeling kind of wanting for more, which made sense because it was on night two of a big tournament. This is better than that, however, it still left me wanting for more. I wouldn’t call this a total house show effort but there’s points early on where it really feels like it. Like they do some real 1980’s WWF stuff like trying to get bigger reactions than each other from the crowd and Punk stooging around to get heat. Punk picks things up and tries getting his shit head heel stuff in like he did in his last few Pure matches but Danielson’s able to catch that pretty early. What’s more, Danielson then returns the favor ten fold to show Punk he can go that route too if desired, so it sort of forces Punk to work honest on top of him already having to deal with Steamboat there as ref. Once this gets to the mat is when it really picks up. Danielson chooses to work Punk’s entire body over rather than focus on one body part, and it’s a sound strategy because it forces Punk to over exert himself in defense thus costing him offensively, i.e. he starts throwing that winded, defensive offense, if you will. Punk does make a valiant comeback but he keeps having to deal with the idea of Steamboat keeping him in check, and Bryan’s able to surprise him with a beautiful mid air drop kick. Bryan gets him with a quick Dragon Suplex but Punk kicks out. They roll around exchanging holds out of the pin until Danielson traps Punk in a gruesome looking sit-out abdominal stretch, forcing Punk to tap out! Again, this is better than their match at the TPI, and is a good match overall, but I wouldn’t call it great. I know their WWE stuff is better, and I’m going to be checking out their FIP stuff as well, as this is their one and only meeting in ROH, which is insane to think about.
***1/2
Post match, Punk begrudgingly shakes Danielson’s hand and he leaves. Steamboat goes to leave but Punk pulls him back in to yell at him, and he says he didn’t tap he was just scratching himself. They get into a heated argument with Steamboat being really animated to show the frustration boiling over, which is a great touch. But this all proves just to be a distraction as Colt Cabana runs out and attacks Steamboat from behind! Punk & Cabana take turns beating him down and Punk hits a little rope a dope action on him. But the Briscoes run out after what feels like an eternity to make the save and the Saints bail out. We’re reminded the Saints challenge the Briscoes for the belts in Chicago tomorrow night (thanks to Bobby Heenan, but…). Good stuff.
During the introductions for the main event, the crowd does the streamers, and Homicide goes out of his way to kick and punch the streamers and push them out of the ring as a sign of disrespect.
Match #9: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Homicide [ROH World Championship]
Listen, on paper, I should love this match anytime it happens. Like it makes too much sense that I should be rating almost all over their matches off the charts but I don’t know what it is, these two are probably in my top 25 of all time (with Joe being substantially higher), but their matches in ROH thus far just haven’t quite hit for me yet. They’re objectively good, just disappointing. It’s like they work a somewhat similar style, two stiff bruisers, but Joe’s just a level above Homicide so it’s like yeah anytime Homicide has this kind of match with almost anyone else on this roster, it slaps. But because Joe’s just so much better than him at it, it’s like maybe Homicide just struggles to keep up. I dunno. It doesn’t matter anyway because this is clearly happening for the angle. The story in this is that Homicide is quick and ruthless, he stays on top of Joe with everything and he tries numerous times to get Joe with surprise pins, which have proven to be his weakness. Joe is able to overpower and out-hit Homicide but Cide is resilient more than ever here. They do a callback to Glory by Honor II when Homicide sidesteps the knee strike combo and gets Joe with a surprise roll up, putting ALL of his weight on Joe in the pin, AND THE REF COUNTS THREE AND THE BELL RINGS…BUT…THE REFS HAND DIDN’T HIT THE MAT FOR THREE BEFORE JOE GOT HIS SHOULDER UP! Joe immediately sits up to protest but the ref is on his side. Homicide starts celebrating around the ring and raising his arms but the ref is FRANTICALLY trying to tell him what’s up. Homicide is beside himself and refusing to believe it, constantly belaboring his point to the ref by raising his arm. The ref really has to step up and get in Homicide’s face about the non-decision, SO A FRUSTRATED HOMICIDE DECKS THE REF AND THAT MATCH IS THROWN OUT!
***1/2
Post-match, Samoa Joe is back up and he attacks Homicide immediately! He kicks him down to the mat and goes to move in for the kill. BUT THE LIGHTS GO OUT —
IN AN EXTREMELY COOL VISUAL, HOMICIDE THROWS A FIREBALL AT SAMOA JOE IN THE DARK!
The lights shoot back on and Gabe is yelling WHO TURNED OUT THE LIGHTS? Referees run out to tend to Joe, BUT HOMICIDE ATTACKS THEM! AND THEN HE ATTACKS THE YOUNG BOYS THAT COME OUT TO HELP TOO! HE’S NOT LETTING ANYONE TEND TO JOE’S BURNS!
The locker room clears out, led by the Briscoes, and they tackle Homicide down and force him out of the ring and to the floor while medics tend to Joe. Homicide is being pulled to the back and raising Hell. Punk, who’s on “commentary”, says he’ll be right back because he sees the Briscoes down there, so he “leaves commentary”.
And within seconds, the group holding Homicide back is broken apart by PUNK AND CABANA RUNNING OUT TO BRAWL WITH THE BRISCOES! All Hell has broken loose and the two teams are now brawling around ringside. MARK GOES UP TOP AND HITS AN SSP OUT ONTO ALL OF THEM!
The entire roster is now split between holding Homicide back and trying to keep the Saints and Briscoes apart. AND NOW CABANA HITS HIS ASAI MOONSAULT ON TO EVERYONE!
AND THEN DUNN & MARCOS BREAK FROM THE PACK IN THE AISLE WHEN THEY SEE THE CARNAGE CREW DOWN AT RINGSIDE TRYING TO KEEP THE OTHEE TWO TEAMS APART, SO DUNN AND MARCOS STAGE DIVE ON TO EVERYONE.
AND NOW JACK EVANS JUST WANTS TO HAVE FUN SO HE HITS A SPRINGBOARD CORKSCREW MOONSAULT ONTO THE ENTIRE PILE!
THIS IS INSANE.
The whole ringside area is brawling now. Punk & Cabana have to slide into the ring just to break free. AND NOW, STEAMBOAT RUNS BACK OUT TO GET INVOLVED! He attacks both Saints with big chops and the arm drags and the crowd EATS it up! The Saints end up retreating and the Briscoes join Steamboat in the ring. Steamboat raises both of their arms as Punk flips out. Mark looks in the camera and warns the Saints to get ready for Chicago tomorrow.
Wow. What a show. Not the strongest in ring stuff but the stories/angles are up there with some of the best the company has ever done up to this point. The main event post match, especially, is incredible and is probably only #2 to the Queens Riot at the 1YA. So much to look forward to coming out of this. I’m pumped.
TOMORROW: WILL STRYKER STILL GET HIS TITLE SHOT AGAINST JOE?; BRYAN/HOMICIDE; SAINTS/BRISCOES FOR THE BELTS!
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