ROH: AT OUR BEST 2004

RexPlex
Elizabeth, NJ
March 13th, 2004

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 13 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 6 Defenses)
ROH Pure Champion: AJ Styles (Since 2/14/2004 - 0 Defenses)

So let’s get this out of the way, especially since I’ve made a reference to it in almost every review I’ve done on this site for ROH.

Rob Feinstein is a sex offender.

A little over a week before this show on 3/4, Rob Feinstein was caught by the show “Perverted Justice”, a product of its time in the era of the extreme popularity of Dateline’s “To Catch A Predator”, and in their investigation they found that Feinstein had attempted to solicit sex with underage boys on AOL/AIM.

ROH, as a company, cuts ties with Feinstein immediately. Cary Silkin steps in to buy ROH, and Gabe has full control of the pencil (even though he mostly had that in recent months anyway).

To save face, a lot of people pulled out of this show. Low Ki was scheduled for a match, Abyss was supposed to come in, Heenan was supposed to do something with the Saints, and Cornette was going to be in Jay Briscoe’s corner. Now, after literally just returning, Ki is gone again for 3-4 months, Abyss doesn’t appear at all until the Summer of 2005, and Heenan’s appearance is delayed, and  *think* Cornette is done until like late 05 or early 06.

This scandal doesn’t end here. Something more happens between this show and the next one that causes some major exits. We’ll get to that on the next show, however.

On with the show…

We start with another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. He has a bunch of the trainees of the ROH Academy with him in the ring. Joe shits on the Pure Title more and even the idea of that title insults him since there’s only one worthy singles championship in ROH and it’s the one he’s holding. He demonstrates on one of the trainees what he would do to some of these so called Purists if they got into the ring with him. He brutalizes them and chokes them out, etc etc. Kind of a nothing segment tbh.

Footage from the fan convention before the show where Dusty Rhodes is signing autographs, AND OX BAKER SHOWS UP TO YELL AT DUSTY! HELL YEAH. He tells Dusty that he did NOT run him out of Florida and he’s tired of him having said that the last 30 years. Ox starts following Dusty around the convention so eventually Dusty gets into the ring and dares him to come in. Security “holds” Ox back and Dusty gets on the mic. Dusty says VKM called him and said to come up this way for WrestleMania, but he came to the Ring of Honor instead, and that other place can kiss his ass, baby. He says Ox Baker is an old codger but he’s picked a mighty fine day to get his ass kicked if he’s got the gumption. Baker eventually waves him off and leaves.

FLORIDA BELONGS TO OX BAKER.

YOU WILL HATE ME.

Elsewhere, Suga Sean Price sees Julius Smokes arriving. He rushes up to asks Smokes if there’s any updates on Homicide’s whereabouts. Smokes says he knows Cide’s been silence of the lambs as of late but he kicked it with him, and if Price can get him some time in the ring tonight, he’s got a message to deliver on behalf of Homicide.

Match #1: Amazing Red vs. Jack Evans vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Mark Briscoe vs. Sonjay Dutt vs. Teddy Hart
Red is back! But strangely, so is Teddy Hart? wtf. I thought he was banned for life after the Scramble Cage stuff but alright. The crowd is super hot for this, which helps, but I think they would’ve had the crowd no matter what because these guys pulled out all the stops. It was like someone had 6 CAWs whose entire movesets were finishers, just spammed over and over (non-derogatory). Everybody got a shot here to really look good, the match did such a good job in that regard. Red slowed down a bit post knee injury but he’s still good. He’s just not Red. Towards the end, Rave traps Dutt in a crippler crossface. Across the ring, like the LOOONG WAY, Teddy does a SSP that is just so far away from where it needs to be so he just lands on his feet and falls back hard and it was very funny. If he wasn’t a scumbag he’d be very funny. Slows down and becomes a bit too choreographed at the very end, which was weird. They started moving like they were in molasses and not like it was a PWG bit. Red hits Mark with some super kicks, then hits Dutt with the Beach Break and Red Star Press to get the win.
***ish

Backstage, Cabana & Ace are about to cut a promo but Punk walks up to interrupt them. He says he needs them hyper focused on the Prophecy and only the Prophecy tonight. No jokes, no bits, no talk shows. Colt says there is no talk show tonight because he’s out for blood against the Prophecy and Punk can count on him and Ace. Punk says he can always count on Ace, it’s Colt he has to worry about, but fine, this is what he likes to hear. He excuses himself because Ricky Steamboat has asked to talk to him, how cool is that? Cabana says to get his autograph. Punk leaves with Traci, and Cabana says they’re ready to start the promo. And just as him and Ace go to talk, the camera cuts off.

GMC is in the ring and welcomes out Julius Smokes. GMC again asks, but this time in public, about the whereabouts of Homicide. Smokes says Homicide sent him here tonight with a personal message for Samoan Joe, FAT ASS SLOPPY JOE. HE’S TALKIN BOUT YO ASS YEAH YEAH YEAH. He says Homicide destroyed him in NY back in the Fall. And Homicide wants him to come get him some so he can stomp his ass out again. Then he randomly starts singing “Papa’s Got A Brand New Bag” for some reason. GMC seems legitimately confused (as am I) and asks again where Homicide is at? Smokes says Homicide is chilling, and if Joe wants some, 187 is gonna stomp his ass out.  

So I mean, I have no fucking idea what this was meant to accomplish. Did Smokes forget what he was supposed to actually do? Did they convey it properly to him? Felt like him and GMC were on two completely different wave lengths. But god damn if Smokes don’t know where that camera was every second of that segment. Love him.

The back half of this card is legendary but look at this absolute mud pie they’re gonna force me through in the next three matches to get there. Holy shit.

Match #2: Xavier vs. Slyk Wagner Brown
Only nothing notable here is Nana is back. ROH is so weird with appearances in these early years. They do the angle with Nana taking Xavier in as part of the Embassy, and then you don’t see Nana for months, even though you see Xavier. Just weird. Anyway, yeah man, I ain’t gonna hold you. No one’s reading this anyway. This match sucks. Xavier wins with a Full Nelson Camel Clutch, which was my efed characters submission finisher. I was so dumb, I thought I created that back in the day. Dummy.
*

Match #3: Jerry Lynn vs. Nigel McGuinness
Thankfully, this is Jerry Lynn’s last appearance for like 4-5 years. Sadly, his next set of appearances are to build up to one of the worst decisions ROH ever makes. But that’s a future me problem. Nigel is here looking more like classic Nigel. Bleach blonde spiked hair, ripped soccer shirt, now we’re talking. This actually isn’t awful but it’s still a Jerry Lynn match and Nigel isn’t *there* quite yet to be able to turn this into something great on his own. Nigel doesn’t really seem to have it figured out, in character, how to throw that one big shot yet that’ll end a match, and Lynn almost gets him a couple of times on it, before finally hitting the Cradle Piledriver to sadly get the win.
**1/4

There’s a segment where two dudes in matching singlets who are a team (I’m
sorry but I have no idea who they are) and they’re mad they’re not booked so Dunn & Marcos attack while Twisted Sister plays. I’m tired of these segments. It feels like ROH has grown beyond the need for them.

Backstage, Steamboat meets with both Punk & AJ and goes over the rules. AJ is calm and Punk is being a shit heel, and there’s some tension with Punk and Steamer.

Match #4: John Walters vs. Matt Stryker [#1 Contender’s Trophy]
Whyyyyyyyyy. Why is this for the #1 Contenders Trophy? That makes no sense! And! These two suck! Gabe is the worst man. God damn. You know what? This is a pointless exercise. Nobody really reads these reviews like I said above, and it’s not like these guys are going to make a dent in my GWE stuff, so fuck this. Stryker wins somehow. Moving on.
N/A

Yes, I am in a mood and down on myself because this show has taken me 48 hours and four attempts to watch because that three match run almost killed me. Fuck.

Match #5: Second City Saints (Cabana/Steel) vs. The Prophecy (Maff/Whitmer) [#1 Contendership for Tag Team Titles]
This was around ten minutes and was a fine brawl but it could’ve been better. I think the disconnect here is that Maff is really the only one of the four that is a skilled brawler. BJ’s okay but very faulty and Colt & Ace simply aren’t that type of wrestler. I can appreciate what they accomplished here. It’s a bit of an overcompensation since the feud is about to lose one of its two main guys essentially forever (or so it felt at the time) but it was still decent. Lot of big strikes by Maff, cheap shots by all. It eventually gets out of control and goes into the crowd. Chairs start getting used, it’s a pier 6. The ref tries to maintain order but BJ throws him down and the ref throws the match out finally.
**1/2

Post match, the brawl keeps going and they really do a good job at making things feel raucous. Maff MURDERS Ace with a chair shot to the head. Like holy shit it sent a shiver up my butt hole (???), it was NASTY. Refs try getting order and the two teams fight through them, so now the locker room clears to try and keep the teams apart. Good pull apart action. And they have to do it a second time because the teams burst through! Ace and Cabana escape to the floor finally, AND ACE COLD COCKS A REFEREE AND SHOVES GABE DOWN HARD! FUCK.

WHY DOES ACE STEEL KEEP ATTACKING BOOKERS?!

Match #6: AJ Styles (c) vs. CM Punk [ROH Pure Championship] [Sp.R/ Ricky Steamboat]
This was great! Good evolution from the last match last show with Punk now understanding the idea of the Pure Rules more. In a great example of this, he baits AJ early and gets into a side headlock up against the ropes where AJ just as muscle memory grabs onto the ropes and it costs him a rope break. Fantastic bit. Punk/Steamboat have words throughout this, building tension there, and that’s probably something important! They build up urgency in this match, if that’s the right term, in that it starts very scientific and on the mat. Some good holds and reversals. But it builds up naturally and this spills to the floor when AJ takes a nasty bump through the ropes off a missed clothesline, and then takes a header off the apron to the rail off a dropkick right after that, god damn. But Punk then whips Styles far into the guard rail, and Styles CLEARS it again, AND THIS TIME HE CATCHES PUNK’S QUICK DIVE OVER THE GUARD RAIL WITH A SUPERKICK! They battle back in the ring with Punk on the defensive, and he tries unsuccessfully to get Styles to use his last two rope breaks but Styles is cognizant of this and traps Punk in a Muta Lock. Love when he does that. Punk uses his first rope break. He goes low on AJ and gets him in quick holds to burn through his last two rope breaks in somewhat quick succession. Every time Punk’s done this, he’s tried to keep the hold on too long, and Steamboat gets on him about it and Punk curses him out. AJ makes a quick comeback off of one of the arguments and goes for a lariat but Punk wraps him up in a Sleeper and seemingly has it won as AJ appears to be fading out. But when Steamboat goes to check one last time, Styles FINGERS are still moving, so Steamboat won’t call it! I LOVE THAT. Punk keeps the hold on but focuses more on yelling at Steamer, and it allows Styles to slowly fight out of the sleeper and eventually breaks free. He hits a couple of his strike combos and then a quick succession of hard lariats with some pin attempts, the third lariat into a pin being enough to get the win. This was great! It grew logically from their last match, it helped evolve the match type and started Punk/Steamboat.
****

Post match, Samoa Joe immediately stomps down to the ring and gets in AJ’s face. Joe holds the World Title up in AJ’s face, and AJ returns the favor. Steamboat tries calming them down and wants them to shake hands. Joe is handed the mic and goes to speak, and Punk, who is sitting in the corner, tears off his wrist tape and throws it at Joe. Joe turns to glare at him and *I Think* says “there’s a reason you’re sitting over there and not standing here” but the audio is kinda shitty. Steamboat puts focus back on Joe/AJ and tries to get them to both accept that they are both champions that represent ROH, and begrudgingly, they shake.

After they leave, Steamboat stays behind and Punk gets up and grabs the mic. He says he doesn't know how Ricky's eyes are, BUT RAY CHARLES COULD HAVE SEEN THAT AJ'S HAND DROPPED THREE TIMES. HE IS THE PAST, AND CM PUNK IS THE FUTURE AND THE NEW KING. He was robbed tonight and he's going to hand this mic over, AND HE WILL ACCEPT RICKY'S APOLOGY! Ricky says he's called him old man all night, backstage and in this ring, and to let him tell Punk that he can't rain on his parade and capture some minute bit of glory tonight. In over 20 years and 6000 matches that he's had, he's probably forgotten more than Punk remembers. He calls him a Ric Flair look alike (although I think he means wannabe). Steamer says to let that be a warning, young man. He goes to leave, BUT PUNK GOES TO ATTACK HIM, AND STEAMBOAT FIGHTS BACK WITH CHOPS AND AN ARM DRAG, AND ANOTHER CHOP AND PUNK BAILS OUT. GOD YES. I’ve gotten to see Steamboat wrestle since then (we all have) and this is a 20 year old segment, but I still got fucking chills. Hell yeah dude. Steamboat celebrates to “Sirius” - Alan Parsons Project. Fuck yes.

Backstage, GMC is standing by with Matt Stryker. This shithead. Anyway, I missed earlier that apparently his match with Walters wasn’t for the #1 Contender’s trophy per se, but the winner gets to pick either a shot at the World or Pure Titles. Stryker is asked his choice. He says he’s going to wait til after tonight’s show, because if Joe wins, he wants Joe. And if Jay wins, he’ll just face AJ. Wow. He says it’s because if Joe retains, he’s gonna be so beat up and worn down after a year of defenses that he’ll be easy to beat. This was a REALLY bad way of getting from point A to point B.

Elsewhere, Suga Sean Price finds Samoa Joe, who’s on the phone. He talks a bit about the cage match tonight and he’s nervous but determined etc etc. SSP asks about the stuff Smokes said earlier in regard to Homicide. Joe gets heated and says if Homicide or Smokes has something to say to come find him after the show. SSP also brings up what Stryker said and Joe just laughs it off and says that makes sense because HIS TITLE is the one that matters.

Elsewhere in the back, GMC is with the Briscoes now. GMC asks about the match and Mark says they're not worried, they’ve gotten a plan from Cornette (who’s not there as mentioned above). Jay says since the start, Joe tried to bully them, and that won't work. They fought back harder than him, and time and time again, Joe couldn't get it done for their tag titles. You think he's scared of the cage? He's not scared of Joe, and he's not scared of the cage. Their war ends when his feet hit the ground and he's the first double champion in ROH history.

Let’s go.

Match #7: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Jay Briscoe [ROH World Championship] [Steel Cage Match]
This was fantastic, this was everything that was promised and then some. Mark is in Jay’s corner. Match starts immediately with Jay diving for the door and Joe catching him. Joe punishes Jay about for a bit and they work around Jay trying to escape through the door numerous times. Joe punishes Jay by throwing him repeatedly into the cage well. With Jay down, Joe goes over and digs out a chain that was hidden in the bottom turnbuckle, and he LOCKS the door shut! Hell yeah. We now see that Joe’s previous punishment has caused a NASTY gash on Briscoe’s forehead and yeah man, it’s this all-timer of a cut. It’s just pouring blood out by the gallon, you can smell the copper just by watching it on tv. Joe puts on a master class of how to elevate your opponent while also not turning the crowd against you in terms of face/heel. The crowd is very much Pro-Joe in this, but as time passes by and the beating becomes more severe, they get to a point of openly cheering for Jay now. And that doesn’t make Joe a heel or cause him to start acting (more) heelish, he just continues the beating because in terms of the feud, it’s fucking deserved. This has been eight months in the making and Jay’s getting his comeuppance but it allows the audience to ask “does the punishment fit the crime?” and it’s so nuanced and so well done. Joe works the cut and uses the cage to scrape it up even more, it’s actually nauseating (which rules). He does the Ole Ole kicks in the corner a bunch and blood is literally splashing out of the cage on to the floor! But this strategy also backfires because Joe is hitting the kicks so hard, THE BOTTOM OF THE CAGE BUSTS OPEN AND LIKE A MAD MAN JAY STARTS TRYING TO CRAWL OUT AS MARK PULLS THE CAGING BACK! But Joe catches him just in time. Jay starts making some fiery comebacks, and Joe starts chasing Jay up on the top rope because now Jay’s trying to climb out. But in a nice touch, since Joe is so out of his element up top, Jay bests him each time they go up until the end when there’s just nothing left, which we’ll get to in a second. We start to notice now thanks to a super gratuitous camera angle that the blood coming out of Jay’s head HAS STARTED TO FUCKING CLOT. JESUS CHRIST. At one point, Jay gets a SUPER dramatic rope break off of an STF from Joe and on his comeback, he nails Joe with the Jay Driller — BUT JOE KICKS OUT OF THE JAY DRILLER AT 2.999999. Jay is completely spent at this point and Mark tries climbing up the cage to help his brother, who started climbing up one of the corners. BUT AJ STYLES COMES OUT, AND IN ONE SWIFT MOTION, PULLS MARK OFF THE CAGE AND RIGHT INTO A STYLES CLASH ON THE FLOOR! Jay is out of options up top, and Joe’s caught up to him and finishes him off with a SUPER Muscle Buster. Wow. 

One of the best cage matches I’ve ever seen, and maybe one of the best matches I’ve ever seen. Had just the right amount of MOVEZ~, perfect amount of story, and just a ton of fucking bloody, gory, violence. An absolute out of body experience watching this. Honest to god, I put it up there with Magnum/Tully Steel Cage I Quit from Starrcade ‘85, which if you know me (which you don’t, why would you) you probably know that’s my favorite match of all time.

A well deserved rating.
*****

Just some of the imagery from this instant classic:

Post-match, Joe gets on the mic and yells to get up. He says a lot of people out there said the Briscoes don't have the heart and desire to win this belt. God damnit, he was one of those people, BUT NOW HE'S NOT. SHAKE HIS FUCKING HAND. And they shake! Big pop from the crowd.

Joe goes to leave the ring and he notices AJ still at ringside, AND JOE KICKS THE DOOR INTO AJ! It didn’t hit hard enough to hurt, more of an insult than anything, and they get face to face in the aisleway and have to be pulled apart.  

I’m not sure how that’s not your main event? Like why is this next match happening here? Whatever.

Match #8: Carnage Crew/Masada/Justin Credible/Dusty Rhodes vs. Special K (Angel Dust, Deranged, Hydro, Dixie & Izzy) [Scramble Cage Match]
I’m not even sure who the official entrants are in this. I see various answers on different reviews and results. This thing’s a pig fuck but in a good way. I got mad at first because this was a War Games style match where the faces had the man advantage and that shit fucking mortally wounds my soul when I see it. But that dies down pretty quick by the time it’s 2v2 and suddenly, ALL OF SPECIAL K storm the cage and now they’re just beating the shit out of all four Crew team members. Dusty Rhodes then marches out in ring gear and I guess officially enters the match. He starts helping the Crew clean house but then Special K gang up on Dusty now and get him on the mat near the cage door. AND THIS BRINGS OX BAKER BACK OUT. OX BAKER IS IN SPECIAL K. Ox attacks Dusty and drags him out of the cage but then Dusty fights back with bionic elbows sending Ox to the back. The tides turn and Carnage Crew slowly start getting rid of a lot of the Special K members from the ring. Two of the Special K guys do spots from the top platform to the outside of the ring but nothing that touches the Evans/Hart insaneness from last year.  Eventually, it’s down to pretty much the Crew and Angel Dust and they get him up on the top platform, AND THEY HIT THE CARNAGE DRIVER THROUGH TWO TABLES IN THE RING. GOOD LORD. Crew get the win. Whew.
**3/4

Post match, Dusty comes back out with beers and celebrates with the Crew.

Backstage later, the Crew and Dusty are still drinking in the locker room and they celebrate finally ending the battle with Special K. Dusty says it smells in here and he thinks someone popped in their bags. He puts on his sunglasses and leaves and they do find (but don’t show) poop in their bags and Loc is pissed they can’t have one night of happiness and they wonder who did this. Weird.

Elsewhere, SSP finds Samoa Joe at the Pepsi machine and says he tracked down Smokes if he wants to talk to him. Joe goes around the corner and Smokes is kind of just chilling and folding shirts, and Joe just rushes up on him and nails him with a few forearms to send him to the ground and Smokes keeps yelling WHY JOE?! Joe sits with his knees on Smokes shoulders and says to tell Homicide and his Rottweilers that if they want some, come get some, and he accepts.

NEXT MONTH: JOE/HOMICIDE! BRYAN/PUNK!