Roberts Center
Wilmington, OH
January 11th, 2004
ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 10 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Briscoes (Since 11/1/2003 - 3 Defenses)
On the JAPW/ROH joint show the night before, Joe defended the belt against BALLS MAHONEY and retained.
To start the show, the newly revamped Prophecy is backstage standing by. Daniels talks about the war with the Group that was started with one shot and then ended with one shot and how Michael Shane and CW Anderson were victims, and how Joe had his shoulders to the mat courtesy of Maff and almost lost the belt to Daniels. So the Saints should take that as a warning since the first shot was already fired in their war when BJ took out Lucy. Tonight, much like they did against the Group? They end this before it starts. And that is not a promise, that is not a threat. That is the gospel, according to the word of the Fallen Angel. Amen, Hallelujah.
Daniels cold open promos would segue PERFECT into the mid 90s ECW Hardcore TV opening.
It’s time for another edition of SAMOA JOE’S RING. Joe’s got a couple of job guys in there and he’s going to demonstrate an abdominal stretch and toss. He sets one guy up but Danielson shows up and says he’s doing it wrong and shows the right way of doing it. And they both stretch and toss (hot???) the job guys before getting in each others face. They talk about being partners tonight because Joe needs someone he can rely on to get the job done against the Briscoes and take those belts. Danielson says that WHEN they win tonight, those belts will be the first to go around his waist. But they won’t be the last, because he’s taking Joe’s World Title belt. Joe is fine with him trying but suggests they get through tonight first. He offers Bryan a handshake, but Bryan says he will NOT shake Joe’s hand until right before their world title match, and AFTER he beats him for that belt.
Former member of the NEW Heavenly Bodies, Chris Nelson, is now on commentary with Gabe. Are they already moving Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein out?
Anyway. Nelson used to guest star on the old Between the Ropes podcast because his tag partner Vito was the co-host, and he once made a joke that I stole and use in my real life often til this day. In reference to writing his life story, he said it would be called “First to Come and Last to Arrive: The Chris Nelson Story”.
Match #1: Alex Shelley vs. Matt Stryker [Pure Rules Match]
This is a preview of the 2YA show which will feature a one night tournament to crown the first Pure Champion. Rules are each man has three rope breaks and there’s no closed fists. Shelley is so god damn good. I’ve always been a fan, but my GWE project has helped me look at him in such a different light. He’s able to not only carry Stryker to maybe his best ROH match yet, but make him actually look good too! Stryker does his bland offense but the way Shelley sells it, and then the way Shelley is able to evolve his style throughout the match to not only showcase his wide array of skill, but to force Stryker to have to get just a smidge creative with his counters and holds. Stryker does some decent work on Shelley’s knee. Nothing otherworldly but Shelley sells incredibly. On a comeback, Shelley runs up the corner to seemingly go for a moonsault, but his knee buckles and he goes down! Stryker immediately goes back to work on it and the pain causes Shelley to burn through his rope breaks and eventually tap to the Stryker Lock.
***
Match #2: Nigel McGuinness (c) vs. Cody Hawk [HWA Heavyweight Championship]
This wasn’t great but it had a brutal moment. Nigel gets showcased here and he’s definitely either hired or about to be hired so hell yeah. But in this throwaway showcase for another company, he fucking breaks out the infamous Nigel/Bryan ring post spot and gets a NASTY fucking cut and is bleeding profusely. Nothing much after that as Hawk isn’t very good but he’s able to at least string together decent work on Nigel’s cut. They exchange some stuff and Nigel gets a leverage pin to retain his belt.
**1/4
Backstage it’s time for another episode of GOOD TIMES GREAT MEMORIES. Colt says they’ll have CM Punk on another time but he brings on his first guest Ace Steel. They do some lame comedy bits that I really don’t feel like repeating including presenting Ace with a trophy for a bowling tournament. Colt asks Feinstein to bring the trophy on but another kid is there in place of RF. This is not a joke. Just…what the fuck man. Anyway, more bad comedy happens until CM Punk storms on and starts flipping out about these dumb jokes and this waste of time of a talk show and how tonight’s important to him and important to them and he needs crazy eyed Ace Steel and he needs the wrestler Colt Cabana. Oh also, Traci Brooks is randomly there. No explanation on why. Punk continues to gaslight both men before they agree he’s right.
Match #3: Chris Sabin vs. Jimmy Jacobs [Pure Wrestling Tournament Qualifier]
Maybe it’s because I just finished watching AEW Collision, but this felt like a match that would’ve been on the heyday of that show. What I mean by that is, it’s very clear Sabin was winning this, and while it was by no means a squash, it was definitely more of a Sabin showcase. This started kind of meh when they were trading MOVEZ N HOLDZ~ on the mat and that, specifically, isn’t Sabin’s strong suit. However, this picked up once it shook the Pure bullshit and got quite fun. At one point this goes to the floor and Sabin drug Jacobs like 3/4s of the way around the ring and threw him HARD into the guard rail. Jacobs gets some time to shine after that but not much. Sabin blocks a hurricanrana off the top and hits a SUPER. CRADLE. SHOCK. (Sorry) to get the win.
***
Match #4: Jimmy Rave vs. Caprice Coleman vs. Rainman vs. Todd Sexton
I saw Caprice Coleman and immediately got PTSD of him doing ROH commentary. But that’s in the present and this is the past. So I’m getting PTSD on something from the future while in the past and writing in the present and I think I’ve just shit my pants. Anyway. This was what it was. I do not know Rainman and was disappointed he did not work a Dustin Hoffman gimmick. I also do not know Sexton. But they are mostly inoffensive compared to a lot of other one-off’s ROH has had up to this point. Coleman was a pretty fun high spot guy that the crowd really got into. Rave is finally showing flashes of what’s yet to come later this year and next. Actually to go back a second, I do remember Rainman from the 2004 TPI now. My fault. I may have made that same joke too in my 2004 TPI review. Back to Rave. He runs this match in the last 1/4 of it and he hits a Basement Knee on Sexton during an attempted roll up sequence which was really cool. Rave gets a big win finally!
**1/4
Backstage, AJ Styles greets Jimmy as he comes thru the curtain. He says he’s proud of him, he finally got a big win, and now he’s ready. Rave asks for what, and AJ says for HIM. Uh oh.
Match #5: AJ Styles vs. Homicide
I was really looking forward to this but I have to admit that it was very disappointing. There’s something about Homicide at this point where, and I don’t know if there’s more to it, but sometimes when he has big matches like this, he just doesn’t deliver. Maybe it’s me. I love the guy. But outside of the last two Corino matches and one of the Joe matches thus far, a lot of his big stuff falls flat. It’s not bad it’s just missing that extra something to make it feel special. These two specifically are capable of better and will do so across TNA television for like 6 months in about 2 years time. The LAX/Phenomenal Angels matches is what hooked me into TNA at that time, so I know they’re capable of better. The match itself isn’t bad. It opens with an extended escalation of trading may work and it’s fine. They build up good to the big spots. Styles is still probably BITW at this point and everything he does looks so crisp, clean and inventive. Cide starts to amp it up towards the end and gets extra stiff which is fun. He hits an INSANE dive where he bounces off the guard rail and goes into the crowd like the first Corino match. Just brutal shit. Styles is able to focus now on Homicide’s injured upper body. Cide tries fighting back but it’s just delaying the inevitable. AJ catches him with a huricanrana and goes right into a Styles Clash to score the W. Again, this isn’t BAD, it’s slightly above average, and to me that’s the let down.
***ish
Backstage, Les Thatcher is here filling in for GMC. Tremendous downgrade. Les puts over the AJ/HOMOcide match, as he pronounces it which I’m sure sent AJ spiraling, and then he brings on his guests the Carnage Crew. He says he has a scoop for them that tonight Special K has a new member but they haven’t said who. Carnage Crew don’t care. DeVito is so pissed about his daughter being a Special K fan and following that lifestyle. Loc says he had to work double overtime all week just to have gas money to get to the show, meanwhile Special K are all flying in on their mommy and daddy’s money. Tonight they’re going to beat some respect into them.
I low key love this feud so much.
Match #6: Carnage Crew/Dunn & Marcos vs. Special K (Dixie/Hydro/Slim J/Matthews) [Scramble Match]
So I guess Joey is the new member? But he was already a member he just hadn’t been booked idk. But this is a great lineup for Special K so I’m hyped. All of Special K die on everything and Joey gets to be the workhorse a bit. Slim J gets to shine in his first appearance I think since the Red match. Dunn & Marcos are fine but the Crew are fucking beating the shit out of these dudes. Naturally, DeVito blades on kind of a random spot on the floor. Big dive train happens until the Crew corner Dixie and hit him with the Raven Bomb ‘98 (that’s what I am calling it). They go to pin Dixie but the ref is pulled out. Just then, two extremely hot women lead out ABYSS?! FUCK YEAH. ABYSS HITS LOC WITH THE SHOCK TREATMENT AND MY GOD ABYSS IS THE MYSTERY MAN. Abyss destroys the entire babyface team and Slim J covers Loc to win. Fun stuff.
**3/4
Post-match, Abyss hits all of the babyfaces with Black Hole Slams while Special K parties. Sadly I’m reading this is Abyss’ last appearance for a while due to what’s coming behind the scenes in ROH.
Joe and Bryan have matching gear for the next match and I just think that’s neat.
Match #7: The Briscoe Brothers (c) vs. Samoa Joe/Bryan Danielson [ROH Tag Team Championships]
Now this is a match that fucking delivered. The tension between Joe/Bryan is great and there’s obviously a ton of similarities between this and the match a couple weeks back when Joe teamed with AJ. But there’s natural evolution here because A, Danielson works this like two singles matches against each Briscoe, B, because Joe’s learned his lessons against the Briscoes thus far and also tries to work this like two singles matches where he’s absolutely brutal on offense which rules, and C, because as I’ve often brought up in these reviews, the Briscoes story being their evolution as brothers into evolving as a team is really good and nuanced with each match. They also keep the Cornette stuff alive by having the Briscoes break out a lot of 1980s territory tag team cheating techniques. The part of this match I like the most is the differences between Joe and Bryan’s styles and how it plays into the match. Joe gets a hot tag and just murders the Briscoes in quick fashion. Bryan gets tagged back in on the finishing run, and Bryan is not really a tag guy, and he sticks to that “treating this like a 1v1 match” which ends up leaving Joe on an island on the outside as the Briscoes, as a unit, are able to change places intermittently between Joe on the floor and Bryan in the ring. And eventually it pays off as Mark takes a bullet on the floor as Joe hits him with repeated Ole Kicks, leaving Bryan open to that one moment in time when someone’s able to out wrestle him where Jay traps him with a Jay Driller and gets the win! Good match, tremendous nuanced booking. Love it.
***1/2
I have a lot of issues with some of Gabe’s long term booking goals and even some show-to-show momentum stuff, but I can’t argue that his really nuanced stuff that usually takes place during matches is so damn good.
Match #8: The Second City Saints (Punk/Steel/Cabana) vs. The Prophecy (Daniels/Maff/Whitmer)
This fucking RULES. It totally deserves when honestly it probably shouldn’t. ROH has had quite an issue delivering on matches like these in the past and on top of that there’s a lot of guys in this match with less than stellar histories in these situations, or no history at all. It has a huge fight feeling right from the start and they play it right by keeping this as a straight tag match to start. A lot of different good to great combinations go down. Great Punk/Daniels stuff as Punk keeps going in and out to avoid Daniels, and Daniels avoiding a lot of BS thrown at him by the Saints which is stuff Daniels had the Prophecy doing a year back. Great touch. There’s a time killing brawl on the floor but it leads to Maff getting cut and the Saints spending the rest of that match working the cut over really good. Colt even breaks out some Freebird Hayes offense and strutting at one point. Daniels gets the super hot tag and cleans house on everyone and it’s great. The match really starts to break down into a pier six brawl and in the melee, the ref gets hit with an accidental chair shot and the match gets thrown out.
***1/4
This gets fucking wild now. All six men are brawling all across the arena. They’re in the crowd throwing chairs. The refs are out to control it but Punk throws another ref into the steel post. Maff has Ace choked with the camera cable and then starts dragging him around ringside with it. In the ring, Traci Brooks attacks Allison but BJ stops this and HE TAKES OUT TRACI WITH THE WRIST CLUTCH EXPLODER! BUT THEN A HOODED FIGURE SLIDES IN AND LOW BLOWS BJ…IT’S LUCY! The Saints hit Whitmer with a Doomsday Blockbuster to take him out, but then Maff comes in with a chair and clears house briefly before the Saints gang up on him as well. They take Maff to the floor and Ace/Punk pick up a piece of the guard rail and RAM IT into Maff who’s up against the post. It’s 3 on 1 against Daniels and he’s just full babyface at this point as he fights back tremendously at first. Punk cuts him off with a cheap shot and now they dive on him like a pack of wolves. They bring a table in and…MY GOODNESS, PUNK HITS A PEPSI PLUNGE THROUGH THE TABLE ON DANIELS.
The Saints pose over top of a face down, motionless Daniels and both Maff and Whitmer are laid out on the floor. The Saints celebrate to the back as Allison screams to get an ambulance while a ton of officials come out to check out on Daniels.
A few thoughts here:
- ROH has a tendency to run their super cool stuff the last year in new towns. Part of me gets that. You need something new to hook that new town in and keep them coming back. They are a touring brand after all. But, it also kind of sucks because this match/angle would’ve been 100% better in Philly or Boston or the RexPlex. Not bumfuck Ohio.
- If Punk wasn’t a made guy before he’s definitely a made guy now.
- This rules because Daniels has lost countless times but because this is ROH and *HE* was the one to bend the rules, he’s never lost like this. This was a complete wiping away of Daniels and all of his pomp and frills by a despot even more despicable than he. The original booking, as I am to understand it, was that Daniels would be out of action in ROH for a while to sell this and then return for the big singles match against Punk in the summer. But obviously, that doesn’t happen.
Backstage, Alex Shelley is on stand by to officially introduce himself. He says he has talent on loan from God and 2004 will be his year.
Back out in the arena, the crowds been sent out of the arena. They have the ring crew taking off the bottom rope as Les Thatcher and others tend to Daniels, who’s still KO’d and not moving.
Backstage, Punk is with the Saints and they’re all showing their own cost of war style injuries. A soft voiced Punk tells Daniels that this is what war brings and he made a proclamation to end Daniels and the Prophecy and his Saints didn’t let him down. Colt has two injured shoulders, Traci survived BJ’s deadly finisher, Ace is battered and beaten but nobody makes him as proud as he is of his Lucy, returning to the scene of the crime to earn her vengeance. He says that 2004 is the year of the Saints, and next, they may go after all the belts, all the power and then the world.
Back in the arena, more people are tending to Daniels. They have the bottom rope off now and are loading Daniels onto a table as a makeshift gurney. They start taking him out of the ring and Allison has them shut the cameras off.
Backstage, Dan Maff is pissed at the Saints and blames it all on BJ Whitmer trying to beat up on a woman again instead of focusing on the task at hand. Maff says this issue is now personal as his mentor lay in a hospital bed, and this will be a different Prophecy moving forward.
IN THREE-ISH WEEKS: BACKSEATS/SPECIAL K/CARNAGE CREW! PUNK/HOMICIDE II! JOE GETS ANOTHER SHOT AT THE TAG TITLES WITH ANOTHER PARTNER!
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