This is a match I can’t even call a dream match, because it’s something I would’ve never even considered to exist.
Plus, to be a dream match, I think you have to like all of the participants, and I could really take or leave Dory Jr, if we’re being honest. But that’s not with this reviews about!
Again, AJPW’s production value and overall “feeling” feels so much bigger than pretty much any other American promotion at the time outside of obviously the WWF, and maybe Crockett. So to have this whole, complete package PLUS an insane match like this? Hell yeah dude.
Terry & Dory make their entrance and, well, just look…
Terry’s flavor saver era is absolutely unhinged. Meanwhile, Dory looks like a school bus driver who’s fled to the Far East to avoid catching a charge.
And now the Road Warriors come out, AND HELL YEAH.
The match begins and it’s not completely clear who’s working what role at the start, but I think once they got a feel for it, the Funks decided to work heel although not overtly. As a side note, Terry looks to be in the best physical shape of his career, but standing next to the Road Warriors at the peak of their steroid usage makes him look like a sickly, old man.
The Road Warriors dominate early on. Standard fare, nothing you wouldn’t normally see. A cool moment was Hawk hitting Terry with a piledriver, and Terry no-selling it like Hawk would normally do, and Hawk actually sells being spooked a bit by that!
Dory tries to work an actual match with the Road Warriors, and I don’t know man. I know I’m hard on Dory, but I just don’t get how this man got away with spending his 40’s and 50’s working like he was in his 60’s and looking like he was in his 70’s. He never really changed up his style, and sure, he’s a seasoned vet, former World Champ — it’s clearly worked for him. I think I just compare him too much to Terry, who obviously changed with the times constantly and, in my opinion and I’m sure others, made him way more of a legend than Dory.
LOD continue to dominate using sheer power, but eventually the Funk’s are able to wear them down some and start working a regular wrestling match. However, it’s clear via their displayed strategy that they’re working on the fly and have to work quick, because they know that their kill shot is going to come from a technical wrestling maneuver. So with that, they break down and start trying to FIGHT the Road Warriors, even going dirty trick for dirty trick with them, as shown by this:
And that’s where this breaks down! You think okay, hey, they’re going to the floor, they’ll do a quick brawl and that’ll be it. Double DQ or whatever.
But what follows is an absolutely INSANE arena brawl!
As you can see in the below gifs, what starts out as throwing fists turns into Funk throwing a guard rail at Hawk, and Hawk throwing Funk into a randomly placed desk. AND NOW THE REAL FURNITURE STARTS GETTING THROWN!
This was CRAZY to watch at just after midnight, I got all pumped up. It was one of those moments where, for a second, I go “Okay I’ve watched wrestling for 30+ years, I know this is a work, but…” because this looks like a LEGIT brawl.
But then you’re brought back down to earth by remembering that Hawk and Terry Funk are two of the most certifiably insane people to ever wrestle, and they both fall into a pro wrestling schtick coma when they’re at their best. And I will always love that.
Match ends in a double count out, the crowd is a mix of loving it and kinda horrified, and that’s that.
This was not a great match. But it was a fun as hell spectacle, and I would strongly recommend this if you’re having a few beers or maybe just need a pick me up. Pro wrestling 101, baby.
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