ROH: RETRIBUTION - ROUND ROBIN CHALLENGE II
CCAC South Campus
West Mifflin, PA
April 26th, 2003
ROH Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 1 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 2 Defenses)
The show starts with another Prophecy pretape. Donovan Morgan finally decided to show up, I see. How unfortunate. Daniels talks about how the last time ROH came to Pittsburgh, the Prophecy held all the cards. But by the end of that night, they were set up and beaten into a pulp, beaten so bad they named the show “Revenge on the Prophecy”. But tonight is the Prophecy’s night of retribution. Donovan Morgan speaks up and asks what the deal with ROH is anyway? He decided to show up tonight for the paycheck but sorry he’s got a better paying full time job in NOAH wrestling all time greats. He doesn’t care about this Pure Wrestling 4-way in tonight but he’s gonna win it to prove a point. Daniels says that the Group is now the dominating faction in ROH with Samoa Joe as the champion. He tells Joe that there’s no elaborate scheme or mind games here: he’s coming for him and the title. And Corino better not get in his way. He blames Corino for starting all of this back at Final Battle and then reminds Corino he has his sister now. Allison poses a bit and then reveals that Corino’s girlfriend when he was 14 left him because he was a chronic bedwetter. Oh. Random. Anyway, Daniels says after last month they got stronger and recruited an assassin from the streets, Dan Maff. Maff walks in and says for far too long he followed this code of honor crap and it got him NOWHERE. But now, with a fallen angel on his shoulder, he will make his name. And he tells Daniels if he needs a hit put on someone to consult him. Daniels says the focus tonight is on retribution and the second round robin challenge. He calls Red a fluke champion and vows to take London’s spot in the contender rankings. The hunt begins, the Prophecy will have its retribution, and that is the gospel according to the word of the Fallen Angel.
Second year in a row where I’m still not sure why they’re having a round robin tournament or what it’s for, or if it’s even booked properly. But here we go.
On a positive note, ROH has definitely started cultivating a hot new town for the territory. When they were here 3 months ago, I don’t care what the internet says, there couldn’t have been more than 200-250 people here. Now? I’d say it’s an easy 400-450. Doesn’t sound like a lot, but it’s noticeable, it adds to the energy, and is a big enough trend in the right direction.
Match #1: Christopher Daniels vs. Amazing Red [Round Robin Series - Match #1]
Very good 10 minute or so match. Not that Red needs it, but Daniels makes him look incredible here. There wasn’t much substance to it in terms of working any thing close to a complex story. Simply put: Daniels has been in a rut, Red wants to prove he’s not a fluke. And that’s fine! Red starts to run away with it and it looks like a moderate upset is coming. Red goes up top and Daniels throws an errant leg into the ref, knocking him into the ropes and crotching Red. Daniels then quickly hits the Last Rites to go up 1-0 in the tournament.
***
Someone named Scott Chong comes out to be the special guest timekeeper. Apparently he was on the third season of Tough Enough. No recollection of him.
As a reminder, the next match was announced prior to DHS splitting but they’re honoring the commitment of one last match. I guess the general idea of that works, plus Maff didn’t really turn on Mack, he just turned heel by helping another heel. But at the same time, the general idea here is a member of the Prophecy honoring anything ROH makes them do, so it’s pretty flawed.
Da Hit Squad come out but Mack comes out alone and sad and stands in the aisleway to look back. Maff walks out with a shit eating grin and Danger in tow, and he glares at Mack as he walks on by. Oh and Mack is trying to go by The Brooklyn Bull Steve Mack.
Match #2: Second City Saints (Cabana/Steel) vs. Da Hit Squad
I enjoyed the story progression here although it ultimately goes nowhere as I am fairly certain this is Mack’s last ROH show. The gist of it is essentially the DHS still work really well together. And every time they get an advantage or pull something off, Maff gets angry and resists the urge to dap his partner up or get hyped. Maff is also working more aggressive than usual here to get over the heel turn. The Saints play their part and drive Maff from the ring and they beat Mack with a Rude Awakening/Colt 45 combination.
**1/2
Post-match, Maff flips out on the floor and breaks a table by throwing it. He looks back to a downed Mack and seems both sad and angry. But Allison Danger keeps telling him to forget it, he’s got the Prophecy now. And eventually, she gets him to walk out on Mack, and that’s that.
Earlier today, while the ring was being set up, Dunn & Marcos take a second to tell the camera that THEY ARE DUNN & MARCOS, THEY ARE THE TOP TAG TEAM IN RING OF HONOR, AND THEY WILL ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE. The cameraman walks over and the Outcast Killaz stop them. They are apparently ring crew as well, and the one guy was the one Carnage Crew beatdown last show. Oh. Anyway. They say they’ve been in ROH since the beginning and they’ve been paying their dues but they’re done waiting in line for their turn.
Match #3: The SAT vs. Dunn & Marcos vs. Special K (Hydro/BrianXL) vs. EZ Money & Sterling James Keenan [Tag Team Scramble]
HEY! HOW DO YOU MAKE EZ MONEY EVEN WORSE? YOU TEAM HIM WITH VERY SHITTY WRESTLER COREY GRAVES. BrianXL has put on weight. He hasn’t gotten fat, but he’s not bulked up either. He just got kind of out of shape. Jay Lethal isn’t there yet (some would argue he never actually gets there but I digress). Without a better/more fun team to sort of choreograph the mayhem (DHS, Carmage Crew, better members of Special K), this really doesn’t do much for me. EZ Money is noticeably trying super hard here after his last two legit stinkers. Was probably told this was a last shot or something. After the typical spots you’d see in this match, the rest of Special K come out but EZ dives on all of them which allows SAT to hit Dunn with the Spanish Fly unopposed and secure the win.
*1/2
Post-match, Slugga gets in the ring and beats up the SAT. Everyone is still fighting at ringside. The other larger black gentleman comes out and gets in the ring for another stand off with Slugga. Hydro pulls Slugga back and the larger black man hits Angel Dust with a choke bomb. When he gets back up, Deranged and another Special K member I couldn’t make out because of the camera angle superkick the larger black man in the PENIS, and when he turns to sell it, SLUGGA PICKS THE LARGER MAN UP AND SLAMS HIM DOWN WITH A SKY HIGH!
CM Punk comes out for his match but a random dude hops the guard rail and slides into the ring. He sits in the corner but then gets up and hits Raven’s pose in Punk’s face. Suddenly, a woman hops the railing and attacks the random guy and plants him with a DDT, and when she turns we see — IT’S DAFFNEY FROM WCW! Punk grabs the mic and says that’s another shot in the war that will be settled in the coming months. That piece of shit was sent by someone this crowd calls a hero, Raven. He was expecting that nasty hobgoblin Trinity so he came prepared tonight and he introduces us to the newest Second City Saint, LUCY. Daffney is a way cooler name but whatever.
AND TO COUNTERACT PUNK HAVING A MANAGER HOMICIDE COMES OUT WITH JULIUS SMOKES. YEAH YEAH YEAH BBDAAT BBDAAAT. MY FLESH MY FLESH MY BLOOD MY BLOOD.
Match #4: CM Punk vs. Homicide [#1 Contd’rs Trophy]
This crowd has been awesome all night but they are SUPER FUCKING HOT for this, baby. Reading about this on other folks reviews, it appears that at the time, this was a breakout match for both men. For Punk, it was his first truly great singles match. For Homicide, it was his first truly great non brawling style match, proving he can fucking go. On the surface, this is just two young hungry dudes going at it to become #1 contender for the top prize. There isn’t much substance below that. It’s one of those deals where it’s like if wrestling was a real sport, one team has to beat the other team every night, and it doesn’t get more basic than that. I kinda love that about ROH. Smokes plays a vital role in this as a hype man, really getting over not just the fact that he has the power to motivate Homicide to come back from anything (as proven by an overabundance of kick outs, including a rather egregious one on a Pepsi Plunge) but also gets over the role of the manager in ROH so well. Nowadays in wrestling, it feels like managers are just there to be heaters, cut promos and half the time not even get to be at ringside (see: almost everyone in AEW except Nana). But Smokes is great at the little things. Making sure he’s near whatever corner Homicide is, hyping the crowd up to get behind him, barking at the ref, barking at the opposition. Anyway, Homicide does not stay down for anything Punk throws at him and eventually Homicide catches him on a comeback, trapping Punk in the Torture STF and making him tap for the win!
***1/2
Match #5: Carnage Crew (DeVito, Loc & MASADA] vs. Fast Eddie, Don Juan & Hotstuff Hernandez [Fight Without Honor]
This was fucking insane. First off, it’s one of the bloodier matches I’ve ever seen. Loc gets cut on the crown of his head early, and as a result, blood is POURING down through his thick hair and covering his face and neck. Fast Eddie gets cut about half way through and while it’s not the most gruesome crimson mask ever, I think it’s because the guy spent half the match face down on the mat or floor, because there’s legitimate puddles of blood EVERYWHERE. Hernandez rules shit again in this. Fast Eddie even wins my support by dying on everything and willing to take some risks. At one point he gets Masada up on the top rope and does a SICK Frankensteiner all the way down to the floor:
And then moments later, he gets back in the ring and tells Hernandez to throw him so Hernandez fuckin BORDER TOSSES HIM FROM THE RING ALL THE WAY OUT INTO THE AISLE ON TOP OF DEVITO AND LOC.
Look at the fucking blood CAKED on the floor. Hernandez then lines up for his big dive, but DEVITO CATCHES HIM IN MID AIR WITH A CHAIR SHOT TO THE SKULL AND HERNANDEZ LAWN DARTS INTO THE FLOOR JESUS CHRIST. The Crew 3 on 1 Fast Eddie back in the ring, hit him with the prototype of the Magic Killer and then with the DOUBLE SUPER SPIKE PILEDRIVER to end it. Holy shit what a match.
***1/4
Post-match, the Carnage Crew go after Scott Chong at ringside and beat him down until Rudy Boy chases them off with a chair.
Paul London comes out for the next Round Robin match in an “X-STYLES” t shirt.
Match #6: Paul London vs. Amazing Red [Round Robin Series - Match #2]
London gets to adopt some stuff from both Danielson and AJ here, which is a nice touch. For the first time I can remember, London has the size advantage in a match and he uses it. Red puts on another masterclass in bumping like he did earlier and it helps get London’s offense over even more. London starts to get too cocky, pretending to be AJ and bullying around Red like Danielson did to him, and it backfires as Red gets an opening to mount his comeback. Red does a super code red again like the first Briscoes match and London kicks out of that. I don’t like that but I’d probably be less annoyed if that wasn’t the second super finisher on this show alone to be kicked out of. Red tries to move quick and goes for a springboard hurricanrana but LONDON HOLDS ON AND PLANTS RED WITH THE STYLES CLASH TO WIN!
***
So with two losses, RED IS OUT OF THE TOURNAMENT. A TOURNAMENT WITH ACTUAL PROPER BOOKING?! YES!
Post-match, London seemingly drops the bullying schtick to observe the code of honor and put over Red. But once Red leaves, London puts the X Styles shirt back on. Daniels/London later will face off to crown the winner, although technically they should be facing off at least twice to try and get the other to two losses. Or make it a 2/3 falls match.
Backstage, GMC is standing by with Matt Stryker. Stryker says his match tonight is the most important match of his career. Hey dick head you faced the world champion last show? Anyway, Collyer walks up and says he’s already made Stryker tap twice and he’ll do it again tonight and then makes fun of his unibrow. Stryker says that Collyer will be the one tapping tonight.
GMC then walks up to Michael Shane and Simply Luscious. Shane notes he’s not booked tonight (because without explanation his match with Daniels was cancelled and never mentioned again) but that doesn’t mean he can’t have some fun. He asks Luscious if she knows what match is up after intermission and she smiles. They walk off and GMC notes the women’s match is what’s up next.
Match #7: Alexis Laree vs. Persephone
Go watch this. Not for the match, that stunk. But because Gabe Sapolsky is the creepiest human alive. His commentary on this match honestly rivals almost ANYTHING Jerry Lawler said on commentary during the Attitude Era. He keeps remarking about Alexis’ sexy, flat stomach. He lets out moans and says mmm when she does certain moves. He keeps talking about adding the T&A factor to ROH. Just a total fucking weirdo. I don’t have a problem if it was just him remarking on how attractive she was or whatever. But to overshadow the match by just making extremely creepy comments and sounds, that’s not even “being a guy”, that just plain weird. Deviant type shit. Laree wins the match by the way but who cares.
1/2*
Post-match, Simply Luscious blindsides Alexis and hits her with a DVD. She hits another on the other girl. Shane grabs a chair and sits in the middle of the ring like Corino did at Final Battle and Joe did last month. GMC comes out to get answers on what he’s doing just like he did with the other two. But Gabe flips out on commentary about the Group trying to book themselves to do whatever so he cuts it and throws it to the back for a promo.
We go backstage to the Second City Saints for a SPECTACULAR promo. I usually don’t/wont post videos here but I didn’t have the energy to transcribe it and it’s just too special not to see:
This entire show has been a breakout for Punker. Not to mention I love the similarities in this feud between him and Raven. The Saints as of right now feel like a true successor to Raven’s Nest.
Coming back to the ring we see that Shane’s words were apparently used to book himself in the previously scheduled four way match to make it a five way match.
Match #8: Michael Shane vs. BJ Whitmer vs. Chad Collyer vs. Donovan Morgan vs. Matt Stryker [Scramble Match]
Monsters of the MID way ass battle royal ass match here. See what I did there Tone? I made a pun to call them mid, because none of them are more than average. Heh heh. Hey man. This went 20+. Get the fuck out of here with that. They try to make it a big deal because Shane is in the Group and Morgan is in the Prophecy but it’s the two guys in both groups with ZERO heat right now due to ROH inexplicably cooling Shane off TREMENDOUSLY after the London feud, and Morgan consistently choosing NOAH over ROH. The Stryker/Collyer bits were fine enough and honestly I would’ve rather of just had another singles match with those two. BJ Whitmer also exists. This was such a slog to get through and almost made me stop watching because I couldn’t pay attention due to how boring it was. But if you listened to Gabe on commentary he’s damn near messin’ in his lil panties over this. Fuck you dude. Stryker finally beats Collyer getting him to tap to the Strykerlock. The crowd goes the definition of mild but Gabe reaches full climax and it’s very upsetting.
*3/4
Match #9: Christopher Daniels vs. Paul London [Round Robin Series - Match #3]
I liked this, I just didn’t like this as much as I thought I would. I dunno. It just wasn’t clicking for me. They did great mat work in the opening and built up nicely to Daniels working on London’s ribs and midsection. London isn’t exactly selling as well as he did against Danielson last month but whaddya gonna do. Daniels has a tough time keeping up with London for obvious reasons but the more he can stall and do little other old school heel tricks mixed with the rib work, he slowly starts to wear London down. London’s offense then becomes Daniels’ key to victory, as the more times London dives, the more he aggravates the rib injury, and it leaves him prone to attacks. Finish comes when Daniels gets his knees up on London’s London Star Press attempt, and that was London’s last gasp, no pun intended, as he’s gassed and Daniels ends it with the BME.
***
Daniels has now won the round robin challenge, ending the Prophecy’s losing streak and being the first person to ever actually win the ROH RR Challenge even though I mean it should be double elimination but whatever.
Time for the main event. Reminder, Williams earned this shot as a result of winning the #1 contenders trophy against Daniels a couple months back.
Match #10: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Doug Williams [ROH Championship]
Kind of bummed that this only got around 10-11 minutes but also I get it. You’re building Joe up as sort of an enigma as champion. Nobody has had an answer for Samoa Joe in ROH yet (except for Low Ki) because any other loss could be chalked up to simple dumb luck by the opponent. Williams has been built rather well in the last year, and feeding him to Joe is the right move as it helps elevate Joe, your full time guy. Williams realizes pretty early on he’s going to be hard pressed to out wrestle Joe, so he tries to throw big shit his way and take him either by surprise or by sheer force. It has its moments of “maybe maybe maybe” but in the end, not really. Joe eventually just smothers Williams offensively. He gets him laid out and starts throwing those hellacious knees to set up for and execute The Choke to win.
**1/2
Post-match, Dan Maff and Donovan Morgan run out and attack Joe to keep that feud going. Michael Shane runs out to help his stablemate and they start clearing house until Daniels runs out and takes them out and it’s 3 on 2. Daniels grabs the mic and says this time around in Pittsburgh, the Prophecy got their Retribution. They head to the back and Daniels looks into the camera to say he hopes Corino is watching.
In a pretape that the screen says was cut before the next months show, Carnage Crew hype up their match at Do or Die which will be a scramble against Punk/Cabana, the Briscoes and Izzy/Dixie (holy shit). Loc keeps askin DeVito why that night will be special and DeVito keeps answering reasons like who they’re facing and why they suck. But then he figures out it’s because they’ll be able to get out of the house again to escape Loc’s fat ugly wife and DeVito’s skinny crackhead wife. And they embrace. Dudes rock?
Backstage, the Prophecy enter the locker room and are celebrating. Daniels asks ROH what their next move is since last time in Pittsburgh they rushed to advertise the show as Revenge on the Prophecy? Maybe now they have to name this show Retribution by the Prophecy (so close). Daniels puts over Morgan as the top technical wrestler in ROH (lol he’s not even the top technical wrestler in the room currently) and congratulates Maff on shedding the dead weight. Morgan suggests they go get their paychecks. Daniels checks on Allison Danger and says the WORST/BEST line ever “when I come back from getting paid we’re gonna do something that rhymes with getting paid.”
Samoa Joe cuts a pretape and his nose is swollen as FUCK. He asks Daniels if it’s a war he really wants? The first shots have been fired and Samoa Joe won’t stop now. He may think this (points to his nose) is cute but now that this has started he’s not gonna stop when he breaks Daniels nose, or when he breaks Daniels neck. He won’t stop until he’s broken him in half and then broken every little thing in his body. And THAT’S the gospel, according to Samoa Joe.
NEXT MONTH: That insanely good Scramble! JOE/HOMICIDE!
No comments:
Post a Comment