Monday, March 4, 2024

ROH: DO OR DIE - 5/31/2003

ROH: DO OR DIE

Murphy Rec Center
Philadelphia, PA
May 31st, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 2 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: AJ Styles & Amazing Red (Since 3/15/2003 - 2 Defenses)

ROH/FWA held a joint show in between the last ROH show and this. Joe defended the title there, thus giving the ROH Title its World Title status. I will not review that show for this project because it is an FWA promoted show with ROH talent and also because it looks like a smelly piece of shit.

Backstage, we see Homicide with Julius Smokes smoking a fat blunt. Homicide says 10 years ago he wasn't Homicide, he was a gangster named D. He robbed, he stole, he got locked up, he did everything you can imagine. In 1996, he had one of the best moments of his life when he had his son, Nelson Jr. Back in 1994, he could have had a scholorship with the U, but he was hard in them streets, selling drugs, running with a gang and just surviving. Now he has to make sacrifice. Miami is gone.  And now, Samoa Joe has what he wants. It's the #1 belt in this company and that means a lot of money. He can't get a job because of the scars he has, and people think he's still too hardcore, but tonight he's gonna be the next ROH champion. He'll do ANYTHING to win that belt. Today is Do or Die. He's from Bed Stuy, so he KNOWS DO OR DIE. HE AIN'T DYING. THE NOTORIOUS 187, THE NEW CHAMPION. LET THE GATES OF HELL OPEN. BBDAAAT BBDAAAT YEAH YEAH YEAH MY FLESH MY FLESH MY BLOOD MY BLOOD.

Elsewhere, a special camera courtesy of Special K called the “Are you hizzigh?” Cam is filming them partying backstage. They say something about needing a bigger place to rave. They go upstairs to try and get into the arena area but the ring crew force them out.

UPDATED CONTENDER RANKINGS:
#1: Homicide
#2: Christopher Daniels
#3: Paul London
#4: Low Ki
#5: CM Punk

On commentary with Gabe tonight is CM PUNK FUCK YEAH.

ROH HAS RETIRED THE PLASTIC FENCE GUARDRAIL. The best seller in the company in its first 16 months of existence. RIP.

Match #1: Dan Maff vs. BJ Whitmer
Man they make it PITCH BLACK now when wrestlers have their entrances. Uninspired but totally harmless stuff here. Good to give Maff a chance to shine as a singles guy. BJ is better here than he’s been yet on the singles stage. Some fun drops by Maff and BJ sells well. No real story or psychology here. Just a match. And that’s fine. BJ goes up top and Maff has the ref distracted allowing Danger to slip in and crotch BJ up top. Maff gets up and picks BJ up off the corner and hits the Burning Hammer to win.
**1/4

Post-match, Julius Smokes comes out. He’s holding the shirt Maff threw on Homicide two months ago. Smokes tells Maff he forgot where he came from and asks why he’d turn his back on Homicide like that. He also very excitedly calls Maff a word I cannot repeat ever. And that enrages Maff. BUT NOW LOW KI COMES OUT WITH HIS ARM IN A SLING. I guess that explains his recent absences.

Maff bails to the floor as Ki gets in the ring. Low Ki tells Maff he sees him now. He sees him as a little boy wanting to prove he’s a man. Ki asks Maff if he realizes what he’s done. Maff yells from the floor that he got ahead and he wants to make money. Ki says what he’s done is guaranteed that one day it’ll be him vs. Low Ki, and if Maff chooses to wear Prophecy colors at that time, may god have mercy on his soul. Maff leaves, and Ki immediately switches focus to say AS FAR AS JULIUS SMOKES GOES, HE’S STANDING IN A RING THAT IS FOR RING OF HONOR NOT THUG LIFE. Ki says the streets don’t belong here and neither does Smokes. Smokes takes his shirt off and he’s ready to have it out with Low Ki.

Homicide runs out to try and keep the peace between the two of them. Low Ki says tonight is a very important night for Homicide’s career. It’s a night for him to finally get the credit he deserves. He needs to stay focused, but to do so, he needs to get Julius Smokes out of ROH, AND HE GETS IN SMOKES FACE. Homicide again keeps the peace and Ki leaves. BUT THEN FROM THE CROWD, TRENT ACID SLIDES IN AND NAILS HOMICIDE WITH A YAKUZA KICK! Gabe says that Acid and Homicide have been feuding over the BJW Junior Heavyweight Title, and Homicide recently showed up on a CZW show to attack Trent Acid, and now Acid’s done the same here tonight on the worst possible night for it to happen to Homicide!

So from what I can gather, Do or Die is and essentially becomes more so later, a proving ground show for a lot of talent not currently signed to ROH or maybe newly signed. In later years, it looks like Do or Die is its own stand alone show that strictly has unsigned/unproven guys wrestling each other or wrestling ROH guys. Tonight, the first edition, it appears that these matches occurred with the lights on before the show started. We’re shown clips of Slugga/Hydro facing Dunn & Marcos.

Oh no. This piece of shits back. And he’s coming out to a techno version of “Speak Softly my Love (Theme from the Godfather)”.

Match #2: Tony Mamaluke vs. Jason Cross
I don’t care. I don’t care about any of this. Gabe really fucking loved Tony Mamaluke and it’s just baffling to me. Jason Cross is a Wildside guy who’s done some TNA stuff, too. Mamaluke wins with a guillotine choke.
3/4*

Backstage, Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein is talking to the camera when Iceberg walks up, telling Rob he appreciates the chance to work here tonight. When he turns around, we see that he’s got ROH spelled in his big thick forehead with thumbtacks. Okay. Outcast Killaz walk on bitching again about not having a spot so Rob tells one of them to go fight Iceberg tonight.

Match #3: Iceberg vs. Oman Tortuga
Oh brother this stunk. When Iceberg was in the bunkhouse riot match I thought, hey, seems like a fine big man brawler. But I was WRONG. He can barely move and Gabe says on commentary he’s nearing 600 pounds. This goes all of 3 minutes and he wins with a running back senton.
1/4*

Post-match, the crowd chants DON’T COME BACK at Iceberg. Tortuga’s partner comes in to check on him and Iceberg beats him down too. He then pulls out a prison shiv and goes to get stabbed but the RCX run out and chase Iceberg away.

We see clips of earlier today with Alexis Laree in a rematch against Persephone. And Persephone actually won this time.

Match #4: Matt Stryker vs. Tom Carter
This is the second or third time you’re asking Stryker to go out there and fill twenty minutes and he just doesn’t have it in him. Not saying he never will, but right now it seems detrimental to keep putting him in these positions unless you’re going to test him out against guys like Dragon or Williams who can go that long like it’s nothing.

The former Reckless Youth isn’t that guy. I get he was like one of three indie darlings in the 90s, which given the state of the indies then doesn’t say much to me, but he’s not going to be who I rely on to go out there and have a 20 minute technical wrestling match with another guy who is still fairly new. This isn’t an awful match, but it is long and dull, and sometimes that can be almost just as bad. Stryker is positioned to be an indie technician but some of his matches come across like he only knows what he saw Chris Benoit or Kurt Angle do on TV that week, and he’s trying to emulate it. There’s no real passion or meaning behind any of it.

Some people need to trace a photo to make a good picture, others can draw from memory. Stryker is the former, at least night now, and definitely when he has to rely on his own device against a mostly washed mid 90’s indie guy who’s grasping to his last moments of name value by…well, changing his name, which may have been the only thing of value left on him. End of the match sees Carter going for the Kondo Clutch but Stryker reverses into an inside cradle for a moderately sized upset, but nothing more. Gabe is happier on commentary than anyone in the crowd is. The match gets a respectful golf clap. But nobody really cares, because they haven’t been given a reason to care.
*3/4

Post match, GMC comes out and puts both men over for the match. Carter won’t shake Stryker’s hand. Carter snatches the mic from GMC and says that ending stinks. He was robbed of his tap out finish by that cheap pin. He calls Stryker “boy” and says he doesn't know who he is. He says he is Tom Carter. Reckless Youth, the king of the independents, OMG. He's a man that created this style that all the MARKS in the locker room stole from HIM. ROH gives him a shitty lil four way survival match on his debut and then he gets cheated of his tap out win here tonight. He talks trash on all the marks, smarks, smart marks and wannabe bookers. Okay let’s wrap this up. He then challenges Stryker to a tap out match to do this right and Stryker accepts…if he shakes his hand right now.

BUT ALLISON DANGER COMES OUT. Danger tells Carter not to shake his hand…BECAUSE CHRISTOPHER DANIELS IS REQUESTING HIS PRESENCE. Carter thinks about it but then turns and shakes Stryker’s hand and breezes past Danger. Pointless seg but I dug the idea of The Prophecy sending out a recruitment team whenever they hear someone voice displeasure with ROH.

Punk is off commentary for the next match.

After the entrances for the next match, just as the match is starting, Gabe throws it backstage because something is happening.

Backstage, Samoa Joe approaches GMC and the camera and says to follow him if he wants a scoop. GMC gleefully follows along and Joe walks into a locker room. We see Dan Maff sitting there and JOE RUNS AND SENDS A KNEE HARD INTO MAFF’S FACE! Maff is on the floor and holding his jaw, seemingly badly hurt. GMC yells to get help and Joe leaves by saying to not EVER sneak up on him again (referring to last month).

Match #5: Second City Saints vs. The Briscoes vs. Carnage Crew vs. Special K (Izzy/Dixie) [Tag Scramble]
They immediately cut back to the match but like at the EXACT second they had cut away, so it didn’t give the impression like we missed any action. Kind of a weird choice. This was fun though! The Briscoes really shone, the Saints were good, Carnage Crew were solid and Special K were flashy. They fucked up once on a botched dive but it kind of works for the gimmick I suppose. As long as it doesn’t hurt anybody when it happens, I really don’t care. Briscoes really get to beat people up with some dives and good, solid throws. Briscoes/Saints work well together and I know they square off later in the year/next year so I’m looking forward to that. Finish comes when Cabana hits Dixie with the Colt 45, AND PUNK HITS IZZY WITH THE PEPSI PLUNGE DOWN ON TO THE LAID OUT DIXIE MY GOODNESS. Saints win.
***

Post-match, the Saints quibble a bit with the Crew before shaking hands on the floor. Same with the Briscoes. Punk grabs the mic and goes on to cut another promo of a fucking lifetime.

"What you just saw are the first two casualties in a revolution! I'm gonna get these pieces of trash out of MY ring right now, but before I do, I've got one simple thing I'd like to tell them. Deranged! Izzy! CONGRATULATIONS KIDS! STRAIGHT EDGE MEANS I'M BETTER THAN YOU!"

Punk shakes the hands of the KO'd Special K guys before throwing them out.

"I used to think I was alone in this world, but every time I come to Philly, I look out and I see some independent thinkers that are just like me. I see those disenfranchised with how the world works. You see when I walk out and throw up the X, I see people just like me are in this crowd. Let me see those X's! Oh some of you might hate what I believe in. But look around, those people throwing up the X are drug free, alcohol free, and they are better than you. The rest of you are weak! You depend on a pill or maybe smoke a little weed to get through your lives. Yeah, come on, who here smokes weed? Cheer for weed! I'll take the responsibility here for birthing the minority, I AM THE VOICE OF THE VOICELESS! Those of you who didn't cheer, you are my soldiers. This is my revolution, and you....you, Raven, almost 10 years ago, started a revolution of your own. But those who sip from your Kool-Aid, where are they at right now? Oh look, here's one right now!"

Punk then looks over and points out ECW Hat Guy, who is sitting in the front row.

"10 years ago, you followed Raven down a path of drugs and debauchery, and where are you now? Wearing that same ratty ass hat and a stupid ass shirt, paying to see ME wrestle! LET ME SEE THE X's! THAT IS THE YOUTH OF TODAY! Those who throw up the X's, those are my soldiers, THAT is the youth of today, and on June 28th, right back here in Philly, we're going to be across the ring from each other again, Raven, my revolution is going to destroy yours!"

Cabana, who had been trying to get the mic away from Punk to calm him down, finally grabs it and says he knows what will cheer everyone up and that is TO GET ON THE BOAT THE CABANA BOAT! He asks who’s with him, and Lucy dances and says she’s with him! This makes Colt blush and he sheepishly asks Lucy if she’ll be his girlfriend? She says she can’t be. And when he asks why not, some guy in the crowd yells “SHE LIKES CHICKS!” and whatever Lucy said back was kind of muffled.

Punk grabs the mic back and reminds the crowd THAT HE IS CM PUNK, HE IS STRAIGHT EDGE, AND THAT MEANS HE’S BETTER THAN YOU! “Copacabana” plays and Punk screams at Cabana what is up with the fucking music and Cabana just dances. Hopefully these two never have a falling out!

Backstage, GMC is standing by with BJ Whitmer to talk to him about his bad luck. But before he can really talk, Christopher Daniels walks up pissed off screaming that Maff just got taken to the hospital with a broken jaw and he’s pissed, this will not stand. Whitmer interrupts and asks what’s the deal with Danger getting involved in his match earlier? Daniels says it’s unfortunate for BJ that he was in the wrong place at the wrong time. Fire with fire. But this is the type of hypocrisy that is Ring of Honor. There’s this Code of Honor but apparently it’s okay that their champion Samoa Joe attacks a defenseless man while he’s changing his clothes. Daniels tells BJ that maybe when his luck changes, he’ll bring him into the fold of the Prophecy. But in the meantime, he tells GMC to deliver a message for him. Tonight, after the show, he wants Joe to face him in the empty arena after all of the fans leave. HE WANTS JOE IN AN EMPTY ARENA MATCH TONIGHT! And after he beats his ass tonight, the next time they meet, he’ll take his title.

Match #6: John Walters vs. Andy Anderson
Walters is okay but nothing incredible. I didn’t like much of anything from Anderson. This is being dubbed a tryout match for both men. A few minutes in, Punk returns to “commentary” and asks who the hell these two are. He brags about his promo and says he’s got another match to go tonight when he faces Daniels, Rave & Kazarian in a four way. Gabe also announces that in two months, it’ll be Raven/BJ vs. Punk/Cabana but Punk isn’t worried. Anyway, Gabe goes back to jacking himself off to these two bland ass tech guys and the crowd couldn’t care less. Anderson wins with a whirly bird and I don’t mean the LBJ trick.
*1/4

During entrances, I should note, Daniels is starting to get substantially more of a babyface pop these last two shows.

Match #7: Christopher Daniels vs. CM Punk vs. Frankie Kazarian vs. Jimmy Rave [Four Corners Survival Match]
I don’t really understand why, so often, ROH double books guys like this. Like hey cool I’m fine with getting two Punk matches in a show. But it seems to happen alot without any rhyme or reason. This match could’ve been better. The main issue is that Rave is still a little wet behind the ears, and Frankie Kazarian is not a good wrestler. But the Daniels/Punk parts break through and they tease a lot of future interaction throughout the match. Daniels works like he has something to prove against Punk and while he stays on top of him he never really quite one ups him. Daniels/Kaz is the pairing for the finishing run and it’s whatever. Daniels pins Kaz after the Last Rites.
**

Post-match, Daniels grabs a mic and tells all three men to hang around a second. He says since Steve Corino put together his Group, he's been on the hunt for people to join The Prophecy. Those who feel like he feels, and he says that there are 3 prime candidates right here.

He says he saw Frankie at the ECWA Super 8 and he also saw him kick ass tonight, and he almost got him a few times, and it was very impressive. He looks over at Rave and says that he saw Jimmy Rave take one hell of a beating tonight and he still came back to show fire and heart, and that is very impressive. The crowd cheers for Rave and he looks legit moved and that just has me sad now.

And as far as CM Punk goes…BUT PUNK IMMEDIATELY GETS IN DANIELS FACE. Daniels says that it is time to talk. A fan then yells something from the crowd and it sounds like the same fan who yelled the lesbian joke at Daffney earlier. Daniels turns and calls him an asshole and says if he wants any shit from him he’ll scrape his tongue and there’s a reason why he’s got a microphone and he’s in the last row.

But back to Punk. There's a lot about him that he likes. He's from Chicago, just like he is (legit had no idea Daniels was a Chicago guy). He says Punk knows how to kick ass, just like he does. The most important thing he thinks is impressive is that he follows his own set of rules, his own code. In fact, he has one question for him…what would he say if he offered him membership in the Prophecy RIGHT NOW?

Hypothetically speaking, of course.

Punk gets on the mic and says MAYBE…he would say he can smell the fear coming off of him. MAYBE he would let him know that he looks into Chris Daniels eyes and he sees wheels turning and Daniels sees Punk and his Second City Saints surpassing his Prophecy in 3 months time. MAYBE he would say…that he's afraid to wrestle CM Punk one on one in an ROH ring!

Hypothetically speaking, he does respect him. But ever since he was a little Punker, everyone has pushed things on him to get him to do things he swore he’d never, ever do. So…not hypothetically, but really…Yeah, he'll join under one condition…

HE'LL JOIN THE PROPHECY IF CHRISTOPHER DANIELS SHAKES HIS HAND RIGHT HERE RIGHT NOW.


Punk says then somewhere down the line, DANIELS IS A DEAD MAN. Punk leaves and Daniels grabs the mic again to say that indeed, somewhere down the line, he's gonna drop him like a bag of dirt. And that is not a threat. That is not a promise. That is the GOSPEL, according to the Fallen Angel.

Fucking loved this segment. It was like David Koresh and Jim Jones having a meeting and realizing they are so similar that they hate one another. I love Raven and the Punk/Raven feud, but this Daniels/Punk feud feels substantially bigger in the ROH realm. Daniels has been one of, if we’re being honest, two actual top guys since the beginning (Dragon isn’t around enough in these early years) and Daniels has now not only acknowledged Punk’s existence, but pretty much put him over as an equal. And they’ve only just begun.

The next match is happening because two months ago, Special K wanted to challenge the Backseats. Carnage Crew and Dunn & Marcos did as well. So a triple threat scramble was held with the winners facing the Backseats tonight. Although hilariously, this was not the Special K team that won that Scramble. But whatever.

Match #8: The Backseat Boyz vs. Special K (Slim J/Jody Fleisch)
Gabe invents bastardizing the term “dream match” by labeling this one. I hate him. This was…something. A lot of involvement from the other Special K guys. Kind of nothing really going on in the ring but commentary is still treating this like it’s supposed to be a big deal. Kashmere does a dive onto all of Special K on the floor. They brawl into the crowd. Again, where’s those code of honor rules? Special K pulls a large scaffold up from the back corner. Slim J and Jody climb it and, good lord:


Jody very seriously injures his knee here. Slugga has to start physically carrying people back to the ring. Jody tries to tough the knee injury out but hurts himself further when he tries to go up top and falls to the canvas. This was all a shoot, the injury stuff, not some incredible selling. Which makes the next part crazy. His knee is busted so instead of hitting the finish on J, the Backseats hit the T-Gimmick on Jody to win. Feels unnecessary and the match as a whole was sloppy as hell. This is the type of match that people point to during this era of indie wrestling and trash it sadly.
*1/4

This match essentially ended Fleisch’s career. He worked one more match in England a month later trying to test the knee out and couldn’t do it. He ends up retiring for the next two years between the knee and some personal issues. He wrestles right around two dozen matches over the 18 month period that followed before retiring again for another 8 years. What a bummer.

Match #9: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Homicide [ROH World Championship]
This was WAY better than their 2002 match. It was Joe’s first truly great defense of the title, and it helped legitimize Homicide as a top guy even further. There’s a bit of story here since Homicide is one of three guys to ever beat Joe in ROH but much like Danielson he was only able to get it done with a fluke pin. Homicide tries to find ways to get back to that point again but each time he does Joe fights back harder and stiffer. And boy howdy was this a stiff fight. Both guys are kicking ass, I think it goes a near perfect amount of time. Not much for me to disagree on in terms of pacing or the ideas they attempt. This just felt like a natural fit to have happen right now in this moment between Joe’s rise and Homicide’s feud with The Group/Corino. Big spot comes when Homicide sends Joe through a table on the outside with a tope con hilo and it feels like the tide is turning but Joe makes a comeback and gets the Choke on. Low Ki comes out to hype up Homicide and even slaps him in the face, AND HOMICIDE STARTS FIRING UP HIS COMEBACK! He really starts laying in the shots and hits a brutal looking brain buster that sends Joe to the floor in A LOT of pain. His face is like immediately swelling up. That can’t be good. Refs are all out to check on him and he eventually gives the okay, so Homicide brings him back in and now they have to rush to a finish. Up top, Joe battles with Cide but it looks like he can barely see. And SOMEHOW, they still manage to pull off a SUPER MUSCLE BUSTER off the top for Joe to win and retain.
***1/2

Post-match, Ki and Smokes argue a bit on the floor before getting in to check on Homicide. Ki kneels at Homicide’s side and Joe grabs the belt and goes over. He crouches down and makes sure he’s in Low Ki’s eye line and they DO NOT break their stare, even as Joe lifts Homicide’s hand up to shake it. Joe backs out of the ring with the title raised and Ki stares him down. Cide eventually comes to and is near tears, saying he almost fucking had him.

Backstage, Joe talks to the camera and the whole left side of his face is swollen, his eye is almost completely shut. He says this is just a small sample size of what it takes to be ROH World Champion. And now that Christopher Daniels has decided to continue this war he will do everything in his power to end it. HE IS SAMOA JOE. HE IS PRO WRESTLING. AND HE IS YOUR RING OF HONOR WORLD CHAMPION.

Back out in the arena, the fans are gone and Daniels is sitting on the top turnbuckle nervously waiting Joe. Danger suggests to rethink this and he tells her to shut up, and he starts yelling for Joe. AND JOE COMES DARTING OUT OF THE BACK, AND HE SENDS THE CHAIRS IN THE CROWD FLYING IN AN INCREDIBLE GODZILLA-ESQUE VISUAL. He slides in and they immediately get into one of those roll around punch brawls that lasts for about 30 seconds until the ring crew and wrestlers from the back come out to break it up. Not sure what the full plan was but if there was to be more to this I am assuming it changed after Joe’s face injury. Daniels gets drug to the back saying this won’t happen when he gets his title shot. The camera pans back to Joe coming out of the ring and JESUS his eye is completely swollen shut now. He looks at the camera and says the fun is just getting started.

Backstage, we see Daniels getting dragged into a locker room kicking and screaming. He screams at everyone to get the fuck away from him and he slams the door shut. He tells the camera that he hopes ROH is happy because they’re getting what they wanted. He says next month is being called the Night of the Grudges and it couldn’t be more apropos. He wants Corino’s Group in a six man tag. He says that the war is just getting started but then a few seconds later says the Prophecy will end this in Boston. And looking ahead, this is the end. And Steve Corino hasn’t been around in four months lmao.

IN TWO WEEKS: RAVEN/WHITMER vs. PUNK/CABANA! STYLES/LONDON! PROPHECY vs. THE GROUP!

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