ROH: TRADITION CONTINUES
Michael’s 8th Avenue
Glen Burnie, MD
October 16th, 2003
ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 6 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: Backseat Boyz (Since 9/20/2003 - 0 Defenses)
This is an AWESOME looking venue, it’s like a wedding hall. Chandeliers and balconies and shit.
GMC is in the ring and goes over the history of pro wrestling in Baltimore. Prince Nana comes out and snatches the mic from GMC and bitches about being disrespected and wanting “his shot”. Samoa Joe comes out and asks Nana if he wants a shot at something he’s got it.
Match #1: Samoa Joe vs. Prince Nana [Non-Title Match]
The bell rings but there’s no ref. Nana gets to use his large ass based offends but then Joe takes him down and chokes him out and the bell rings again. Alright.
1/2*
Post match, Joe gets on the mic and welcomes Baltimore to ROH. he hypes up the card and what you’ll see tonight, and they will also see your ROH World Champ choke out Jay Briscoe! Jay comes out and SNATCHES the mic from Joe. He asks if he's gonna choke him out right now? AND SAYS HE CAN CHOKE ON THIS (HIS PENIS) AND JAY HITS A MAFIA KICK! They get pulled apart and Mark Briscoe gets Jay out of dodge. Joe is FUMING.
Another episode of GOOD TIMES GREAT MEMORIES airs inside of a hotel room and Colt’s guests are the new ROH Tag Champs the Backseat Boyz. Colt makes some Backstreet Boys and Britney Spears jokes. How timely. They hype up the match against Special K later tonight. Colt wraps up the show and says they’ll get to CM Punk next time.
Match #2: Slugga/Grim Reefer vs. Dunn & Marcos vs. Danny Doring/Josh Daniels vs. Sonjay Dutt/Slyk Wagner Brown [Tag Team Scramble]
Sonjay is here. Grim Reefer is here. Danny Doring is here but without Roadkill so fuck him. The highlight of this is Punk joining commentary and again asking Gabe if there’s any update from ROH on who attacked Lucy? And Gabe’s got nothing for him. This is an alright spot fest. But the tag scrambles have somehow gotten progressively worse since 2002 each show. Doring is in no shape to wrestle. Sonjay is fine. Slugga & Reefer are shockingly the breakouts here. Finish comes when Reefer hits Dunn with the Frog Splash and Slugga hits him with the body bag. Should’ve been done the other way around.
**
Match #3: Matt Stryker vs. Chris Sabin [Field of Honor Tournament Match]
Sabin is just interesting enough at this point that he’s able to drag Stryker to his best match in a while. Punk is still on commentary and demanding answers on Lucy’s attack. Back to the match, as much as Sabin improves this, Stryker is still not a good enough wrestler as evident by a scary botch where he drops Sabin straight on his head. And then again in the finish, he hits a really bad death valley driver that sees them hitting noggins and Sabin getting busted open. Stop pushing this goof. Sabin should’ve won here.
**
UPDATED BLOCK A RESULTS:
STRYKER - 2
XAVIER - 1
SABIN - 0
WALTERS - 0
Match #4: Colt Cabana vs. BJ Whitmer [Field of Honor Tournament Match]
Match of the night so far which isn’t that hard of a feat to accomplish. Colt relies on the comedy stuff which is fine, adds some levity to this dry ass tournament. Punk BURIES BJ on commentary for just being a big dummy. Whitmer proves him right by taking a belly to back suplex by Cabana straight on to his head. Cabana follows that up with a nice lil roll up to get the win.
**1/4
UPDATED BLOCK B STANDINGS:
CABANA - 2
WHITMER - 1
MAFF - 0
RAVE - 0
Backstage, Colt asks the camera if everyone laughed and had a good time tonight. That match was serious for him, and Cabana can change faces just like that. He's 2-0 in the FOH and he's glad people like his talk show, but when he's in the ring, this is serious and that's bad news for Dan Maff.
Elsewhere, AJ Styles is trying to give Jimmy Rave more advice on how to work the neck against Maff tonight, using his injury against him. Rave isn’t sure about that. Styles says it’s not about being a bad guy, that’s wrestling, and if he doesn’t do it, someone’s gonna do it to him when he’s hurt.
Match #5: Backseat Boyz (c) vs. Special K (Dixie/Izzy) [ROH Tag Team Championships]
Thankfully this is Special K Deluxe. This was a fun spot fest as expected but lacked any real substance. BSB beat Special K down but were thwarted from any real progress because the rest of Special K were there to cause havoc. Quick match though. BSB hit Izzy with the T Gimmick and it should be over but Hijynx pulls the ref out of the ring! Gabe screams about the code of honor being broken. Shut the fuck up. They chase Special K around, Kashmere gets hit with one of the tag belts on the outside, and Acid chases Izzy back in but Dixie cuts him off with a gourdbuster and Izzy hits a springboard 450 in quick succession and SPECIAL K WIN THE BELTS?! Holy shit I did not know this. Hell yeah!
**1/2
Post-match, Special K celebrate but the Carnage Crew run out to attack them. Soon thereafter, Slugga and Grim Reefer run out to attack everyone. I must’ve missed this earlier but Julius Smokes is dressed like one of Chalky White’s men. Hell yeah.
Important to note that for just the second time in ROH, AJ came out to YOU ARE YOU ARE I AM I AM.
Match #6: AJ Styles vs. CM Punk
This was really, really good. Best ROH match in a while. Great mat exchanges to start. Punk works this so smartly, targeting AJ’s lower back early and often, making some of AJ’s crazier offense less impactful or off the table completely. AJ’s selling starts out great but as the match goes on he starts to Hogan shit up just a bit which detracts from what the main core of this match has been. I can usually forgive some late match no selling but this was an eyesore. Punk starts working desperate, trying to land big shots and quick, and that’s his downfall as he tries a shining wizard and AJ catches him instead for a Styles Clash to win.
***1/2
It’s intermission time, and GMC tries to interview the Backseats about the loss, but they’re mad and Kashmere specifically walks out.
In one of the bridal suites, Special K is raving and Lit is throwing up in the toilet which is a laugh riot for all of them. Becky holds one of the belts and tells Dixie she’s never been with a champion before.
Wasn’t Raven a champion when you were only — nevermind.
Match #7: Dan Maff vs. Jimmy Rave [Field of Honor Tournament Match]
This was basically a squash with the sole purpose of getting Maff back on track after the injury since Rave is already mathematically eliminated and is working the loser pupil gimmick anyway. At one point, Rave goes and hits a flying knee off the ring apron and Maff sells it like he’s reinjured which causes Rave to back off. But he was just playing opossum and murders Rave. Rave dies on everything. Burning Hammer ends it. Good squash and continues Jimmy’s story. Solid booking.
**1/4
UPDATED BLOCK B STANDINGS:
CABANA - 2
WHITMER - 1
MAFF - 1
RAVE - 0
In the back, AJ Styles finds Jimmy Rave again, who’s moping around. He says he's not mad at him, he's just disappointed in him. AJ was born a 42 year old father of 3. He says Jimmy didn't work the neck or stay on the arm, and he can't show mercy like that. He repeats that if Jimmy got injured in a match, Maff would’ve been all over it. He needs to start listening to him, because he knows what he's talking about, and if he doesn't listen, nothing's ever gonna happen for him. Chill dude, damn.
Dan Maff is in the parking lot and yells BITCH, among other words.
The owner of Maryland Championship Wrestling comes out and says some stuff and I don’t give a FUCK.
Match #8: Raven vs. Justin Credible
Boy, talk about a house show effort from these two. Not that this would’ve set the world on fire at any point of their careers, but you can tell these guys had multiple fed runs because this is some fed house show laziness. Only good part is Punk coming back on commentary and saying Corino told him he thinks Daniels and the Prophecy were behind attacking Lucy. Gabe announces next week at the next ROH show he’ll be Punk vs. Corino. Punk also is told Raven wants another match. Punk says he doesn’t care he’s already beaten Raven but if he really wants another match, fine. Raven hits the Evenflow and ends this. Fuck these guys for this.
*
Match #9: Homicide vs. Xavier vs. John Walters vs. Mark Briscoe [Four Corners Survival Match]
This was good but honestly it’s a waste of Homicide. Xavier/Walters were surprisingly decent together. Homicide and Mark were the stars. Walters gets a lot of shine here, including a neat spot where he downs Briscoe, elbows Xavier from behind and traps them both at the same time, but then that leads to a spot that I haven’t been able to stop laughing at for like 20 minutes for some reason:
Incredible. they do the standard ROH dive train and it’s super fun from all four guys. Honestly the match is a blast. Didn’t really expect that. Awesome finishing run back inside the ring too. Walters blocks the low blow from Xavier now, but he gets a finger to the eyes and Xavier hits Kiss Your X Goodbye to win. Oh well.
***
That wife swapping piece of shit Jim Cornette cuts a pretape saying he’s back in ROH on 11/1 and that’s all you’re getting from me. I don’t have to listen to this.
Match #10: Samoa Joe (c) vs. Jay Briscoe [ROH World Championship]
The Briscoes, for some reason, have only been used sparsely in 2003 ROH. Because of that, a lot of their overness was drained away, and especially speaking, Jay as a singles act lost a lot of its intrigue. Enter: Samoa Joe. Joe makes Jay look like a MILLION bucks even with the obvious defeat on the horizon. Joe dominates early on and Jay is an incredible FIP. Jay won’t say die or stay down no matter what Joe throws at him. In a neat touch, Joe tries to end this several times, elevating how he does so each time to try and really figure out, in a sense, where Jay “fits on the card”, for lack of a better term. What I mean by that is, Joe starts throwing his moves out that have beaten lower card guys like Maff and Stryker and BJ, and Jay kicks out of all of them. But then the big shocker, not only does Jay ESCAPE the Choke…HE KICKS OUT OF THE ISLAND DRIVER. That has beaten nearly everyone including the tippy top guys like Danielson and Daniels. They sort of sacrifice that finish here at the expense of getting Jay over, and while I understand the discourse of protected moves and their importance, sometimes it’s as easy as “hell yeah dude”. Because the crowd is SUPER hot for Jay now. The simplicity of the finish is what I love best though. Now that he’s thrown his entire arsenal at him, you would THINK by wrestling logic, that may mean Joes about to debut something new or do a high impact version of one of his moves. But common sense logic says hey, Jay just got his ass kicked, one last shot should seal the deal, and Joe hits a pants shitting lariat to get the win. Fantastic.
***1/2
By the end of this, Joe was getting booed heavily for winning because god damn he’s good at his job. He’s not a heel but he got that crowd so far behind Jay, just a masterclass.
Post match, Mark Briscoe comes out to help Jay and Joe shakes Jay's hand while he's all groggy and loopy. Joe slaps Jay’s face a bit to sort of say “good try, kid”. Mark gets in Joe's face about that, SO JOE OBLIGES HIM AND CHOKES HIM OUT TOO. Joe lets go and leaves with the belt. The Briscoes are slow to get up and the look Jay shoots an exiting Joe signifies that this war has just begun.
In a pretape, Chris Daniels cuts a promo. He says just like always, The Prophecy is in the middle of it all in ROH. He can give credit where it's due. Samoa Joe was the better man LAST SHOW, but he was so close. The people in Philadelphia wanted to see Christopher Daniels win that title, but it was not meant to be that evening. He's in this for the long haul though, and it doesn't mean shots won't come later down the line. He's still committed to fulfilling his destiny as the ROH World Champion. He changes focus to Steve Corino, saying that Corino surprised him when he walked up and wished him luck in that match. He then says right now, Corino reminds him of a snake someone found in the snow and then goes into the whole “you stupid old man…” antecdote. Which brings him to CM Punk. He says Punk believes his Saints will surpass his Prophecy, which is a laugh, and doesn’t like how Punk accuses him of beating down Lucy in Dayton. He was too busy in Dayton with Jim Cornette to deal with some painted up floozie, and the next time he steps in his face…he won't laugh it off. And THAT is the gospel, according to the word of the Fallen Angel.
In the back, John Walters says there's a crime being committed in ROH and that's Xavier. This is the nerdiest fucking promo ever. Honestly? Fuck this dweeb. Promo is about honor and his father and pissing. I’m not joking.
Elsewhere, Johnny Kashmere is still leaving (must’ve gotten lost since intermission) and Acid tries to stop him. Kashmere tells him “maybe it’s just time” and walks out and Acid is confused. And that’s the end of the Backseat Boyz as a team, I think anywhere.
In the back, Xavier cuts a promo. DOOOOOON’T CAAAAARE. Something about a tag challenge for 11/1 where Walters is going to bring back Tony Mamaluke. FUCK OFF.
In the back, the Briscoes have recovered. Mark says Joe might have beat his brother tonight, but he found something out tonight about the Briscoes. He can hit them as hard as he likes, but they'll just hit him back even harder. Jay then proves I am prophetic by saying the war has just begun.
Overall, a rather boring show with two great matches and one fun indieriffic spotfest. Still not impressed with 2003 ROH as a whole, and begging PLEADING for a turnaround in quality soon.
NEXT WEEK: IDK! (I do know but nothing on the show was officially announced except the Xavier/Walters thing and FUCK THEM.)
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