ROH: ONE YEAR ANNIVERSARY SHOW
THE MADHOUSE OF EXTREME
Queens, NY
February 8th, 2003
ROH Champion: Xavier (Since 9/21/2002 - 3 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: The Prophecy (Since 9/21/2002 - 2 Defenses)
Show starts with a Low Ki pretape outside, sucking himself off and then jerking ROH off a lil bit. All you can do is be ready, etc.
A super long highlight video of ROH’s first year airs to awful techno.
And then a just as long video airs of the Danielson/Ki/Daniels match at the first show.
Outside, Paul London says he has AJ and Low Ki tonight and he can’t make them sound any better than they are. He got a taste of gold at Final Battle but let himself down. Tonight will be a different story.
Match #1: Colt Cabana vs. Michael Shane vs. Chad Collyer vs. EZ Money [Four Corner Survival Match]
Gabe bringing in EZ Money for this show for an ECW pop only to get absolute CRICKETS when he comes out fills my heart with joy. The idea of this match is fine for an opener but the execution was missing for me. Crowd was super hot so it really didn’t matter too much. Collyer continues to be slightly above average, Colt is coming along too. Shane had a really off night here. EZ Money is a smelly piece of shit. Last few minutes or so turns into some indieriffic nonsense (non derogatory) with some fast paced offense from all four, counters and reversals, etc. EZ Money sadly wins with the Cha-Ching on Chad.
**
A recap airs of that overly long Nommy appearance back at ASE.
Backstage, as AJ Styles arrives. He wants another title shot and another chance at getting the belt away from the Prophecy, but he’s gotta go through London and Ki, and he knows it won’t be easy.
Match #2: Carnage Crew [DeVito, Loc & MASADA] vs. Don Juan, Fast Eddie & Hotstuff Hernandez
Had no memory of Hernandez being a TWA kid much less being in ROH. This is fine. The babyface trio get the bulk of the offense to set up for the finish where a frustrated Crew break out the hubcaps and chairs for a DQ.
*3/4
Post-match, they keep the attack up and hit Fast Eddie with a spike piledriver from the middle rope. Rudy Boy gets in and punches off Loc and DeVito and gets in Masada’s face, his former student (although that has yet to be acknowledged, much like Masada being with the Crew intermittently has yet to really be acknowledged). Masada attacks his trainer and DeVito & Loc are back up to join in. Just then — the original Christopher Street Connection come out to a pretty decent pop and they do their really bad and offensive offense on the Crew to send them bailing. One funny spot though was a rope sequence where they both shot confetti shooters in the Crew’s faces. They then make out and the crowd pops again. Alright.
A recap of the first Briscoe/Briscoe match airs.
Match #3: Jay Briscoe vs. Mark Briscoe
So the story that Gabe says is that this match is happening because recently, Mark’s best friend died suddenly and it made him reconsider his time with the Prophecy and his beef with his brother. So he’s left the Prophecy, wants to make up with his brother, and this match was agreed upon to work out any remaining issues they may have. Not sure if any of the stuff about Mark’s friend dying is true, or if it’s just a lame way to dump the angle and unite the Briscoes now that Mark is 18, but whatever. I would’ve liked to have seen him with the Prophecy more than twice but whaddya gonna do. More important stuff awaits the Briscoes as a team. Oh, the match! It’s a bit jarring at times. They go from some really basic, safe hold exchanges in the ring to at one point getting into one of the more stiff striking battles I’ve seen in a while:
Of course, Gabe ruins it by immediately yelling “THERE’S NO SPORTS ENTERTAINMENT IN WHAT WE JUST SAW THERE”. Gabe has this inate ability to make the coolest things lame. They get even more aggressive as the match goes on. Mark has a fun control segment which perishes when he attempts a springboard cutter into the ring and Jay catches him off the middle rope for a crusher of his own. Finish comes where Jay can’t put his brother away so he has to resort to the extreme of hitting THREE consecutive Jay Drillers in a row to win.
***1/4
Post-match, we get a shot of Papa and Mama Briscoe watching on. Jay helps Mark up and they hug.
In a pretape, DHS is on the roof of the Elks Lodge with a cool backdrop of the sun setting on the city skyline. They put over ROH’s first year and stuff. They also hype tonight’s main event, which is either a 14-man or 30-man tag scramble, depending on which member of DHS is talking.
A recap of the incredible Ki/Red match airs.
Homicide cuts a pretape backstage. He hypes his match vs. Steve Corino tonight. He says he could’ve been the #1 Contender for the ROH Title but Corino took that away from him. So tonight he makes sure Corino doesn’t make it out of NYC. He says Corino may have his Group, but he’s got his gang of thugs out there too. Here we go!
Corino comes out with Luscious and Joe. Homicide comes out to a hero’s welcome. Corino grabs the mic and has Joe stand in front of him so Homicide can’t interrupt him. Corino shits on the NY crowd and gets the place fucking buzzing. He says no crackhead in this building has the guts to shut him up. He says he is a MAJOR INTERNATIONAL WRESTLING SUPERSTAR and these people need to show him respect when he’s talking. He introduces The Group, first with Luscious and then Joe. He then introduces the Group’s next member, a kid that reminds him a lot of himself…MICHAEL SHANE! Shane comes out in a Corino T-shirt. Corino then finds Gabe and Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein on the stage and tells them that HE calls the shots in ROH, not them, and he doesn’t care what they say about who works here and who doesn’t, so he brings out the NEXT member of his group, THE ENFORCER CW ANDERSON! Big heat for CW, and Gabe is pissed. Corino turns to Homicide and says there’s one more member, and then he turns to the entrance and yells “LOW KI…” but it’s a fake out as he just says he’s got his eye on Low Ki. Homicide finally steals the mic and yells that Low Ki ain’t down with him. He then says he ain’t afraid of nobody in this group because he’s got New York behind him ready to jump this guardrail, and a VERY large contingent of people stand up and are almost riotous in the crowd. Homicide then hits Corino with the mic, and it’s on!
Match #4: Steve Corino vs. Homicide
Oh I loved all of this. The first real GRITTY atmosphere in ROH. The crowd is hot. Joe, CW & Shane do a great job of antagonizing the fans (including the plants, one of whom is about to become very important). The match itself is fine, it’s more to set up the next stage of their feud than put on a classic encounter. Corino is great as a slow, methodical heel. Homicide continues to shine. The ref takes a bump when Homicide slams Corino and Corino’s foot hits the ref in the dick. The ref is on all fours and Homicide leaps off the refs back to hit Corino with a shining wizard that would’ve surely ended it but the ref was too late making the count. This went to the floor while the ref was still convalescing. Homicide grabs a chair and DARES Joe to make a move but Joe and the rest of the Group are strict observers of the Code of Honor so they will not attack Cide during the match. Just a great piece of storytelling there. Homicide throws a chair at Corino and the ref starts to get up so he basically sees the aftermath of what happened and lets Homicide off with a warning given the atmosphere. Homicide sits Corino down in the chair and goes for the tope con hilo, BUT:
Cide is OUT. Corino drags him back in the ring and tries several times to end it. He hits him with both the Old School Expulsion and the Northern Lights Bomb but Cide is kicking out almost on instinct. Finally, Corino locks in the Cobra Clutch Sleeper and Homicide passes out. Fun shit, man.
***
Post-match, the Group all get in the ring to celebrate. They desecrate Homicide’s Yankees jersey and Shane even rubs it on his taint/gooch. AND HOMICIDE’S CREW HAS SEEN ENOUGH! THEY JUMP THE GUARD RAILS AND START FIGHTING AND JOE GOES AFTER ALL OF THEM! ABSOLUTE RIOTOUS SCENE! More fans start to come over the guardrails and it’s an all out brawl. And from the looks of it, some REAL fans get involved!
The locker room clears out and starts going after the real fans that were fighting including Joe squaring up with and downing this absolute monster of a human who cowers immediately. Everyone’s after everyone! Carnage Crew, DHS, Low Ki & CSC all run out. It’s A NON STOP fight, this is fucking nuts. Corino gets Luscious out of there. CW looks lost. Gabe & Rob get involved to try and break everything up. Gabe does one of his really high pitched, shrill screams again which makes DeVito laugh behind his back. Gabe sucks.
Rob yells at Michael Shane to get the fuck out of here and SHANE GOES AFTER ROB FEINSTEIN! YES. KILL HIM! Rob yells they’re gonna get banned from here. Low Ki tries going after a specific fan (the future Julius Smokes!!!) and Homicide stops him and the announcers call sight to that. Low Ki starts throwing shit from ringside into the ring and the JAPW guys (Cide, Ki, DHS, CSC) all get in the ring. Gabe lets out another yell and runs to the back. Feinstein then yells at Homicide that this is his fault, AND HOMICIDE GOES AFTER FEINSTEIN NOW! He yells ain’t shit his fault and he don’t give a fuck if he gets fired. DHS try to hold him back, BUT CIDE SLIPS FREE AND RUNS TO THE BACK AFTER FEINSTEIN AGAIN! AND THE RIOT ALMOST BREAKS OUT A THIRD TIME IN THE BACKSTAGE AREA!
They then replay the riot from two different angles.
If you’ve never seen any of that, I strongly urge you seek it out. It’s one of the most damndest things I have ever seen in 30+ years of watching wrestling. Incredible.
A recap airs of the Tag Title tourney finals back in September.
A pretape airs of Christopher Daniels in Japan. He just repeats a lot of the same points regarding Corino and the Group. He dates Corino to fire the first shot.
A recap airs of the Crowning a Champion main event including the incredible Chaos Theory into Dragon Clutch spot.
Outcast Killaz vs. Dunn & Marcos is scheduled to happen next. But Gary Michael Cappetta comes out. He apologizes for interrupting but says a member of Steve Corino’s Group wants to come out and make a statement and he gleefully says what the Group wants, the Group gets. Wait a minute…has GMC supposed to have been a heel this whole time? CW Anderson comes out in his gear. He gets the crowd riled up again and says he came here for a fight and as you saw he just whipped on 30 plus northerners earlier and he’s still hungry for more. He tells the two tag teams to leave but they don’t so CW beats the shit out of all four of them. He then issues an open challenge to anyone here. CM Punk comes out! He says he accepts because at least CW showed up for work this time unlike “someone else” (apparently, Punk was supposed to face Reckless Youth on this show, but en route to the building, Youth was involved in a car accident).
Want to take a second to harp on Gabe again. During that brawl, on commentary (because remember, he’s not Gabe on commentary) he wouldn’t shut the fuck up about “throwing storylines out” and “breaking kayfabe”. Earlier during the Briscoes match, he had the sports entertainment comment. Then, as this next match starts, he continues the worked shoot shit with CW by saying “management said he was in line for a major push before he chose a Japan booking over ROH” and how he “went against the script that night he first returned”.
Shut. The Fuck. Up. Shut up shut up SHUT UP. Shut what they call the FUCK up. You may have a mostly good, creative mind, but you are the whiniest sounding little smarky troll I have ever heard in a non-late period WCW company. I would take Joel Gertner’s weird obsession with JFK Jr again before I EVER chose Gabe to do commentary. When he’s not trying to be ONE OF THE INTERNET FANS~ he’s honestly not half bad at commentary. But Jesus Christ, you fucking nasally little fucking “back when i was in the original ECW” troll, SHUT UP. You were Paul E’s errand boy no matter how many fake titles and duties you want to edit your Wikipedia to show. Shut up! You are actively taking away from maybe the best show ROH has ever done. SHUT UP. Rant over.
Match #5: CM Punk vs. CW Anderson
These two did not mesh very well unfortunately. It didn’t help that Gabe spent the entire match burying CW on commentary but I won’t get mad about that again. CW starts to work a bit spooked between not meshing and the crowd beginning to shit on the match. Finish comes when Punk stops CW’s spinebuster and rolls him up for the win.
*1/4
A recap airs of the London/Shane street fight.
Match #6: Bryan Danielson vs. Samoa Joe
They both got haircuts and somewhat newer gear and it’s weird because it looks like 2006 TNA Samoa Joe vs. 2011 WWE Daniel Bryan. Just a weird observation. I liked this a lot, only slightly less than their encounter at the last show however. Bryan works from the underdog spot well and Joe is likely overconfident after beating Bryan last month. They do some good mat exchanges building up to a striking battle which Joe wins again with the knee shot he won with last month. But this time, it’s not necessarily a knock out blow in a great bit of storytelling. Joe is still super cocky, thinking that’s it, and he does a Powerbomb followed by a lackadaisical pin that Bryan catches him on, turning in into an inside cradle to get the win!
***3/4
Post-match, Joe is in that “I can’t believe I got got” phase of disbelief and Bryan is selling the beatdown tremendously. They both observe the code of honor.
Clips air of the awful title switch where Xavier beat Low Ki and joined the Prophecy.
Allison Danger introduces Xavier in the ring and they’re out to watch the contenders trophy match. Xavier comes out to ZERO reaction. In the ring, they do a pretty loud “AC Slater” chant. Xavier cuts an awfully generic promo again and the crowd just shits on him. But you can tell it gets Gabe’s little schmeckle pulsating.
Match #7: Low Ki vs. AJ Styles vs. Paul London [#1 Contd’r Three Way Dance]
The crowd is hot for this. They obviously love AJ and Ki, but London gets a thunderous pop and has clearly emerged as possibly the top pure babyface in the company which is crazy. This is obviously a nod to the three way dance that started it at all a year ago. I don’t believe that this lives up to that in a lot of ways but that didn’t make this a bad match by any stretch of the imagination. I want to make points about all three of these guys.
First off, AJ Styles has arrived. This is the AJ that’s literally in discussion every year as Best in the World from this moment on probably all the way through 2016-2017. Everything he does is crisp, it’s clean. It’s insane to ponder what would’ve been if WCW stayed in business and still had AJ Styles under contract. But also scary because they likely would’ve mismanaged him more than TNA did later on.
Secondly, Low Ki. Out of all of the “main ROH guys” you think about, Low Ki is one I had the least amount of experience watching heading into this project. I knew he was good. I had seen a lot of his TNA runs and of course his ill-fated WWE run. But I didn’t know just *how* good he really was at one point. He’s a little over the top with his expressions and that ridiculous voice of his, but he fucking makes me believe in every move he makes in that ring. It’s something I first really picked up on in the match against Amazing Red, and something he’s only gotten better at in each and every match he’s had since then in this run.
Lastly, Paul London. I had never seen a single non WWE Paul London match in my life prior to this project. I knew he was very good, I knew he was (or became) a little crazy. But his rise in the early days of ROH has been such a treat and something that feels like the company’s first real organic thing. Ki, Daniels and Bryan, they’re brought in to be the guy. Joe’s on his way but he feels inevitable. Xavier is a totally failed experiment. Homicide is slowly getting there. Spanky would’ve been but he got signed. London was near the bottom of the TWA group when they first came in, and in the last six months, a switch was flipped and he’s stealing the show almost every time he’s in the ring and the fans LOVE IT. They are hot for him, it adds to the matches because you know it’s boosting his confidence since he’s just practically a kid, and it’s not going against the grain just because “that wasn’t in the plans”. I think London probably should’ve won the belt here and had a short transitional reign between Xavier and Joe. It would’ve legitimized him more, it would’ve given Joe a better opponent to beat, and it would’ve given the fans someone who THEY pushed to the top a chance to win the big prize.
The match is great, as I said. It’s not going to be as memorable as the first ROH 3 way a year prior for obvious reasons, but it’s great. London takes some crazy dives and bumps, and is giving it his all. AJ and Ki are carrying this so well. They work a story where London keeps trying to get the big win but either Ki is shutting him down or Styles is showing him up. At the end, Ki hits Styles with a Super Ki Krusher which should be it, BUT IN THE SPLIT SECOND AFTER HE LANDS, LONDON IS UP TOP TO HIT THE SSP ON STYLES AND HE STEALS THE WIN!
***1/2
Post-match, the camera catches Xavier, still at ringside, taking off his street clothes to reveal his gear was on underneath. Back in the ring, Styles and Ki pay respect to London and tell him to go get that belt back from the Prophecy. Such a great story this has been with AJ/Ki vs. The Prophecy and while they beat the fuck out of them last month, they’re relying on this young buck to step up and get the final bit done.
Xavier gets in the ring and says London will NOT get a shot at his title next show. The only way he’s honoring London’s #1 Contendership is if he faces him RIGHT NOW. LONDON AGREES AND IT’S ON!
Match #8: Xavier (c) vs. Paul London [ROH Championship]
Going back to what I said up there — this is where you have London win it. The place would’ve came unglued. It would’ve been such a huge moment. Then you give Xavier his rematch next show, and the show after Joe takes the belt off of London and starts The Reign. However, I also get it. London had some TNA dates coming and his ultimate goal was WWE, who’s probably already sniffing around after signing Spanky. Maybe Gabe had the foresight to realize they weren’t going to be able to hold on to London much longer, I don’t know. This match was what it was. Xavier really sucks. Allison Danger gets involved early and Alexis Laree comes out to neutralize her and stay in London’s corner. Xavier capitalizes on London’s exhaustion and beats him in and out of the ring even busting him open. But London stays resilient and is kicking out of everything. It kinda goes a bit too long for what it should/could be. London gets a second wind and has it won but Allison Danger pulls Xavier out of the pin so Mickie gets in a cat fight with her. London and Xavier brawl again on the floor and Xavier hits the 450 back in the ring and London kicks out again. He doesn’t know what to do. They got into a pinning combination but quickly Xavier grabs the tights on his part of the sequence and keeps London down for 3. Xavier still sucks but this was probably his best match.
**3/4
Crowd is silent. But I guess that’s the heat Gabe is looking for. Dope.
Recap of Eddie Guerrero’s ROH run airs.
Match #9: Da Hit Squad, Divine Storm, The SAT & Mikey Whipwreck vs. Special K (Angel Dust, BrianXL, Deranged, Dixie, Izzy, Jody Fleisch & Slim J)
Zero idea why this main evented. Other than the fact that the crowd peaked twice with the riot and the London stuff and are now completely dead, this just isn’t good. I have given Gabe a ton of shit but one thing I can’t even sit back and go “okay I can at least see where he was coming from” is his obsession with The SAT and Divine Storm. Was it just that he was boys with Mikey from ECW? Is it simple as that? Because these four are just ungodly bad wrestlers. And they bring everyone else in this match down because of it. Mikey turns on his kids and joins Special K. And somehow the match keeps going on and on after the turn? wtf. Even Gabe and Convicted Sex Offender start dunking on the match and how bad it is on commentary. What a joke. Maff wins with a burning hammer on Deranged. THEN WHY DO THE MIKEY TURN?!
1/4*
A recap airs of the shit kicking the Prophecy got from Ki and Styles last month.
In a pretape, Christopher Daniels talks more about the issues with Corino. This was at least more in depth than the last couple. He takes off his priest garb and says this isn’t the Fallen Angel talking to the King of Old School, this is Chris talking to Steve. He talks about their past and how they met in the WWF dojo and became lifelong friends, or so he thought. When Steve won the ECW World Title and the NWA World Title and became the biggest gajin star in Zero-One, there was nobody happier than Christopher Daniels. So imagine his surprise when Steve is standing in the ring across from him telling him he’s coming to destroy what he’s built and what he’s earned. He notes how Daniels took Luscious and Joe from him, and how he was able to get Michael Shane to join him after Shane turned the Prophecy down, and now they want to take the titles away from the Prophecy. So then maybe the lines have been drawn and the gauntlet has been thrown down. If he wants a war, cast the first stone, because if it’s a war he wants it’s a war he’s gonna get. And that’s not the gospel according to the Fallen Angel, that’s the word of Christopher Daniels.
Backstage, Paul London is sitting around looking dejected. AJ comes up and gives him props. He says neither of them are ROH Champion, and that’s fine. But maybe they can be Tag Team Champions together. This seems to lighten London up a bit and he says that would be awesome.
Elsewhere, CM Punk cuts a promo. He says he asked for this time to talk about respect. He respects CW Anderson who gave him a fight tonight. He even respects someone like Colt Cabana, as much as he annoys him. Cabana bursts onto the scene to try and hug Punk and Punk yells at him that he’s gotta get this done so they can get to the hotel and reminds Cabana not to forget who’s letting him sleep on his floor tonight. Punk restarts. He adds on that there’s a guy coming into ROH soon that doesn’t fit the bill of an ROH athlete, or an athlete at all. Punk says he himself is straight edge. He’s drug and alcohol free. He believes in that so much he’s even got it tattooed on his body.
On the 3/15 show, Raven is set to make his ROH debut. Everything Punk believes in, Raven is against. Punk stands for integrity, honor, and pride. Can Raven stand for anything, can he even stand? Raven is into debauchery and drugs He's a weak man who can't control his own demons. Punk says when he thinks about ROH, he thinks about skill like Low Ki, Danielson, or Samoa Joe. Raven doesn't belong in that sentence or even in a locker room with the likes of him. He's challenging Raven to a match on March 15th, unless he's afraid his first appearance will be his last, and he'll find exactly why he doesn't belong in ROH. And EXACTLY WHY Straight Edge means I’m better than you.
We’re here.
Raven sends in a pretape! Raven says that CM Punk reminds him what he used to think of the old timers when he first got in this business. They looked at him with disdain and disgust, wondering who this little smart ass was that was trying to make a name off of them. Now he finds himself in the exact position he used to scoff at and say to get out of the way. But actually, he's not that old. He's in better shape than he's ever been. The booze and drugs, they took their toll, maybe, but perhaps they just preserved him? He's in better condition, can run faster, and wrestle longer. CM Punk would have to knock him out, and after all he's been through, and that’s not going to happen. Punk's potential has not yet been realized and he's not the guy it'll be realized on. Maybe Punk’s on the clean and narrow, but also maybe he doesn't have the balls to take a walk on the dark side. Some would say he's a genius, or insane, but whatever flows through his head is a hell of a lot more than what passes through Punk’s. Sometimes in life, we make our own choice. Other times, a choice is made for us. Other times, there is no choice. Welcome to Raven's Clockwork Orange House of Fun. QUOTH THE RAVEN…NEVERMORE.
FUCK YES.
And finally, somewhere else backstage, Low Ki, London, Danielson and Maff are holding up a cake that says “ROH 1 YEAR ANNIVERSARY” and they are putting it right up to their mouths and eating it. Very nasty! And it’s not very nice. To make matters worse, Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein walks up and thanks everyone for a great year, so they throw the cake in Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein’s face.
Rob Feinstein is a Convicted Sex Offender.
NEXT MONTH: PUNK/RAVEN!
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