ROH: CROWNING A CHAMPION - 7/27/2002

ROH: CROWNING A CHAMPION

Murphy Rec Center
Philadelphia, PA
July 27, 2002

 

I’ve gotta be honest, full disclosure here, I’ve been putting off reviewing this show for like 3-4 days now because outside of like 2 matches it looks fucking dreadful. So if this is a straight to the point review, don’t hold it against me.

EARLIER TODAY: Low Ki cuts a promo in the ring in an empty Rec Center, very similar to Sid’s promo in the Alamodome. Only without any of the charisma or charm of Sid. He recaps his ROH run and hypes the main event, mostly focusing on Daniels.

Backstage, Steve Corino and Simply Lucious creepily confirm they’re dating and F U C K I N G. He makes some off hand remarks about her doing business with Daniels but keeping it personal with him. I wish I could describe this better but Corino really, REALLY comes across as a slimeball here haha. He asks her who the best boyfriend is and best announcer is and she says him. But when he asks who the best wrestler is she says Chris Daniels. Corino doesn’t like it but lets it slide.

Elsewhere, the Christopher Street Connection are eating bananas again. They hear techno music and enter a locker room where Brian XL and the debuting Izzy and Dixie are all raving. But they won’t let them in.

Backstage, Mamaluke and Guido are arguing again over the FBI gimmick. Homicide and Boogalou walk up and Mamaluke says the only shooting they know is when they take people in the alley to rob them. Jesus. Homicide says the only shooting they do is in the ring and they challenge the FBI to a match next month in Boston. Guido doesn’t want to team with Mamaluke anymore (smart man) but he also isn’t a bitch so it’s challenge accepted.

Match #1: Tony Mamaluke vs. Jeremy Lopez
See what I mean? What the fuck is this shit? It doesn’t even have commentary. Their shitty commentary team couldn’t even talk about how bad a Mamaluke match would be. And with match times being back loaded for this card because of the main, it’s even more torturous that this is one of the longest matches of the night at around 8 minutes. If you can’t tell, Mamaluke is one of my least favorite wrestlers ever. Hated him since I was a kid and he showed up in late era ECW. Anyway. This goof tries to guide this somehow less talented than him goof to something below average but they can’t even meet that low bar. Lot of forced SHOOTAH~ holds and transitions. The Lopez kid stinks. Mamaluke wins with a Guillotine Choke.
3/4*

Backstage, Divine Storm are talking to each other when the CSC show up AGAIN eating bananas. We fucking get it, Gabe. Jesus Christ. They mock DS because they saw Brian XL’s new friends and they’re not gonna like them. Then they throw bananas at them.

Prince Nana comes out for the next match with his new servant, Jacob Ladder, which is a hilariously bad name that would make even the NXT management cringe.

Match #2: York & Matthews w/ Alexis Laree vs. Prince Nana & Jacob Ladder
Hello, Mickie. Commentary sounds weird. Like Corino is doing it from a different studio in post production than Donnie B? I dunno. Anyway, Nana is still selling the head injury from last month so this is short. Nana leaves the match and heads to the back after his first bump. Y&M put Jacob away with whatever their neat lil tag finish is, sort of like an elevated veg-o-matic.
1/2*

Backstage, the camera follows Nana and he runs into the CSC. They try to check on him but he doesn’t want them touching him.

CSC then head out to the ring with Allison Danger. CSC hit on York & Matthews but Allison says they’re not butch enough for the CSC. She then hits on Mickie, so Mickie decks her, and then one of the CSC dudes punch Mickie. All six of them brawl before CSC gain the advantage. They hold Mickie down so Allison can spank her. York & Matthews recover and clear house.

EARLIER TODAY: The TWA gang arrives minus any of the actual good talent sans London. Michael Shane cops an attitude with Bio-Hazard. Rudy Boy calms Bio-Hazard down.

Match #3: Michael Shane & Bio-Hazard vs. Paul London & Don Juan [Winner Gets a Contract]
Such a stupid stipulation. It should be a four way if only one guy gets it. AND, what’s the point of doing a “winner gets the contract” stip when you still continue to book the dudes that don’t win anyway? Gabe is a dipshit sometimes. Corino does it a tiny bit of justice by putting over how long the drive is from San Antonio to Philly and when you win the contract like Spanky did you get to fly in. Still sucks. Solid enough tag match thats bogged down with stupidity, and basically breaks down to a four way because partners don’t want their partners to get the pin. Because why would they? London and Shane end up pinning the other two at the same time, but Shane was the legal man so he wins the contract. Stinky. By the way, Corino spent the whole match shitting on Rudy Boy on commentary.
*

Post-match, they all shake but Shane kind of clowns London. Shane grabs the mic and calls out Spanky, saying that HE not Spanky is the one true Showstopper. London comes back out and saying Shane’s attitude and saying things like that is a slap in the face, so Shane responds by legitimately slapping London in the face. They brawl a bit and Shane goes to hit his shitty rip off diving elbow drop but London rolls out of the way. Rudy Boy and the other students finally interject to break it up. They actually have a tremendous pull apart here with London looking unhinged. The cameras follow them backstage and they get into it AGAIN on the stairwell. Rudy Boy flips out at Shane and tells him he’s gonna talk to Gabe and get him booked in a singles match against London next month. Shane is pleased.

They recap the AWFUL intermission tag team segment from last month.

Match #4: Da Hit Squad vs. Divine Storm
This was actually fine. It was nice to see what DHS can do in an actual match and not a hate crime. Divine Storm bump around for them good and even get a few near falls. But this is mostly a DHS showcase. Maff pins Divine with a Powerbomb to win.
*1/2

Backstage, Xavier asks Low Ki to keep him in mind for a title shot if he wins since he was the only man in their tourney block that Ki didn’t beat. Ki agrees to this.

Match #5: James Maritato vs. Jay Briscoe
This was really good! I’m a Guido mark and I’ve really gotten into the Briscoes (finally) over the last 4-5 years, so this was a treat. They tell an awesome veteran vs. rookie story with Guido more than comfortable holding Jay at bay, waiting for him to just fuck things up and capitalize in a heartbeat, whereas Jay is so desperate for a win that he tries everything. Mark is great on the floor too. He wouldn’t watch the match when Jay was in control, and would yell at him the rest of the time. Jay has Guido down but notices Mark finally leaving the ringside area and flipping him off. This allows Guido to hit the kiss of death to win.
***

Backstage, Chris Daniels talks to a seated Simply Lucious from behind for some reason. Daniels puts himself over huge and shits on the Code of Honor, saying that when he wins the belt, he will destroy the Code of Honor, and that is the gospel according to the Fallen Angel.

Elsewhere, Doug Williams is stretching a young boy and calling him Spanky, Daniels or Ki at various points.

Match #6: Natural Born Sinners vs. Carnage Crew [Bunkhouse Brawl]
Well I certainly didn’t have Carnage Crew being partially responsible for saving an ROH show on my review bingo card but here we are. This RULED. This got way more extreme than I expected out of anything in early ROH. Tons of barbed wire shots and free wheelin’ chair shots to the head, baby. Homicide especially shone in this. Like if I was watching this live in 2002, he sticks out so much that you’d know even then how much of a star this dude is. This gets pretty damn bloody. Donnie B says this is the most extreme match he’s ever seen in Philadelphia and honestly I’m going to worship the devil in his front yard over that. Fuck him. NBS really start to take over with Boogalou decapitating DeVito with a barbed wire wrapped Lariat. Homicide then does this INSANE dive onto Loc:

My current favorite ROH feud is wrestlers vs. the fence. OH and then they end it with a nod to the Taz/Tajiri finish!

This match gets a very large “hell yeah brother”.
***1/4

Post-match, DeVito & Loc attack NBS with hubcaps and beat them down bad until DHS run out to clear house. DHS help NBS up but Homicide flips out on them saying they don’t need their help and to stop disrespecting them. Homicide throws a fit around ringside and to the back. Corino lets the fans at home know Homicide actually trained DHS.

EARLIER TODAY: Spanky hypes up the main event. He notes that he doesn’t have the experience or skill of the other three, but he’s beaten Daniels and Ki in singles matches before, and he was trained by Regal & Brookside and Doug Williams could only wish to have been. He puts his chances of winning at high because he has heart.

Backstage, 1/2 of the fake Boogie Knights is in a wheelchair with a neck brace. They’re supposed to be in a six man later against Brian XL and his new friends. The uninjured one says it was gonna be hard enough to find a third partner now he’s gotta find two and notes how everyone hates them. He calls the RCX over, not knowing who they are, to help carry the injured Knight’s chair down the steps. They run into Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein and Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein tells them he just booked the uninjured Knight with the RCX to face Brian XL and co. later. The uninjured Knight is very upset with Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein.

Rob Feinstein is a convicted sex offender.

Match #7: AJ Styles (c) vs. Adam Jacobs vs. David Young [NWA:TNA X-Division Championship]
My comrade Simon (@elhijodelSimon on Twitter / Handwerk Reviews linked over on the left hand side of website) told me ROH was really created to be a northeast super-hub for a bunch of different indies, to which I compared to almost like being a more competent SuperClash from the 80’s. So it’s cool to see very young TNA get into the mix on that, even knowing the wretched shit TNA pulls on ROH down the line. Corino says this is the first time an NWA sanctioned title has been defended at a non NWA sanctioned event. I’m not sure how true that actually is but I’m willing to believe it for now. This is an ECW style three way dance so someone will be eliminated before the final pinfall. I didn’t think much of Young or Jacobs here but AJ carries them and looks FANTASTIC doing it. After a sprint, in about 5 mins, AJ eliminates Young with the Spiral Tap. He takes on Jacobs for another 3 minutes. He tries the Styles Clash at one point but has to modify it into an elevated sort of pseudo Walls of Jericho which was cool. Styles ends up winning with a SUPER Styles Clash.
**1/2

Since this was an NWA:TNA match technically, does the Code of Honor have to be observed?

In ring, Stephen DeAngelis announces that ROH returns to Philly in two months on 9/21/02 with the ROH IN RING DEBUT OF THE KING OF OLD SCHOOL STEVE CORINO FUCK YES. There will also be a one night tournament to crown the ROH Tag Team champions. Oh and Mike Modest will be there. Rudy Boy Gonzalez comes out and commandeers the mic. He says he’s heard all of the shit Corino’s been saying on commentary. And he would love to kick his ass but he wants it to be really embarrassing for Corino so he’s going to make one of his trainees do it (that’s a…weird statement to make) so on 9/21, it’ll be STEVE CORINO VS. BRYAN DANIELSON.

So I already found out that the Danielson/Spanky match doesn’t happen on the Boston show next month. And then I found out that Danielson is in the tag tourney instead in September. AND Danielson/Corino don’t square off until 2005 (a match I just watched recently actually, prior to this website). ANNNNND, Corino doesn’t even wrestle on the 9/21 show, instead making his in ring debut two weeks later on 10/5 at Glory by Honor.

Match #8: Ring Crew Express & Mike Tobin vs. Brian XL, Dixie & Black Gordman Jr.
So for some reason Izzy doesn’t wrestle but he is at ringside. No idea who this Gordman dude is. And the match doesn’t even happen for us watching at home. It’s aired in a really quick clip package set to techno. RCX & Tobin win.
N/A

Post-match, Brian XL, Izzy & Dixie lay out Gordman. Then, a very, very large African American gentleman in a suit and sunglasses comes into the ring from the crowd and plants Tobin and the RCX with some 911 style chokeslams. I have zero clue who this guy is. He leaves through the crowd.

Backstage, Carnage Crew challenge DHS to a “Boston Massacre Match” for the Boston show next month.

They air a package highlighting Scoot & Xavier’s runs so far. They say if Scoot can’t beat Xavier tonight he’s vowed to leave ROH.

Match #9: Xavier vs. Scoot Andrews
This also gets clipped to death like the last match? Wtf. Scoot wins. Moving on.
N/A

Match #10: Christopher Daniels vs. Low Ki vs. Spanky vs. Doug Williams [Vacant ROH Championship] [Iron Man Match]
The rules states say it is 2 points for a decision and -1 points for a loss. Doug Williams carries this in the early going, and the main story is Daniels trying to avoid Ki at all costs which is great. This goes on for a bit and it allows Spanky & Williams to do Daniels dirty work, essentially. They do leg work on Low Ki, focusing on the leg he kicks with first and foremost, and Ki’s selling is incredible. Throughout this opening segment and beyond, Daniels arm is worked on, as is Spanky’s neck, which has been a target the last few shows. Daniels finally tags himself in and goes to work but immediately goes out when Ki shows any signs of life. Ki has to tag out after trying to truly iron man this thing so he can save his legs and he continues selling it. So good. The eventual Daniels/Ki stand off happens but Ki’s too hurt, letting Daniels work the leg and knee even more. Ki mounts a comeback but Daniels cuts off the Tidal Krush and hits the Last Rites on Ki to score the first decision, going up 2/-1/0/0!

We’re right around the halfway mark. The announcers (all night to be honest) have been noting that it’s nearly 100 degrees in the building, and it’s wearing on all the wrestlers but especially these four. Now, Spanky and Daniels go to work in cornering Doug Williams because he’s the only one in this match near 100%. In what may have been my favorite sequence of the match, Ki is back in and working Williams. Spanky hits a tag on Williams back as he’s setting up the Chaos Theory. You think maybe nobody noticed the tag. Spanky gets in the ring, Williams hits the Chaos Theory, BUT LOW KI FLIPS OUT OF IT AND GOES RIGHT INTO THE DRAGON CLUTCH ON SPANKY, MY GOODNESS. MY GOODNESS. Spanky taps!

Updated standings have it as:
Daniels - 2
Low Ki - 1
Williams - 0
Spanky - (-1)

All four guys look fuckin beat to death between going well over 35-40 minutes by this point and the temp in the rec center. And I dunno if you can call that selling because it ain’t a work. These men look like they’re on the verge of heat stroke. But it works! PRO WRESTLING. They battle on, starting to play the hits and get the really big moves in to be able to hit that home run shot. Spanky and Williams especially sell the desperation pretty well. Spanky eventually hits Williams with Sliced Bread #2 but before he can pin him, Daniels shoves him out of the way. AND KI ENDS UP COMING DOWN WITH A PHOENIX SPLASH ON WILLIAMS AND HE GETS THE 3!

Updated standings have it as:
Low Ki - 3
Daniels - 2
Williams - (-1)
Spanky - (-1)

They battle on and time is really starting to become a factor. The match spills to the floor, and using what appears to be their last gasps of energy, Spanky and Doug Williams take each other out on the floor and stay there, and we’re right back where it all began as this will seemingly end between Low Ki on the defensive and Daniels trying to get that one last decision. They have a TERRIFIC fight that feels raw and personal. Both these guys want to be the ace of this promotion in completely different ways. And they have to get through the other one directly to do it. Beautiful. Daniels keeps trying for the Last Rites but Low Ki keeps on blocking it. In revenge for last month, Daniels locks Ki in his own version of the Dragon Clutch! WE’RE DOWN TO A MINUTE. Low Ki is fighting desperately to get back to his feet and Daniels is locking it in tighter to try and get that last decision in order to win the belt. BUT LOW KI IS ON HIS FEET! HE HITS THE LAST RITES ON DANIELS! TIME EXPIRES! LOW KI WINS!
****1/4

Post-match, all four men are dead. Daniels has to have it explained to him that Ki did NOT tap out. Low Ki is then handed the belt.

Williams & Spanky get in the ring and shake Ki’s hand. The crowd is cheering for Daniels to do the same. Williams starts telling Daniels to do it too. Daniels gets back in the apron and makes the valid point of the fact that he was never pinned in this match, and HE pinned Low Ki. The crowd still wants him to shake everyone’s hands but Daniels again blows them all off and leaves to the back.

Ki then poses with the belt and this is a pretty cool shot.

The cameras follow Low Ki through the curtain where DHS and others are there to greet him. Low Ki immediately collapses, exhausted and emotional. DHS help him up as he cries some. He then turns to the camera and says he showed everyone for the last hour how much this means to him. Then he dedicates the match to Russ Haas, and tells Charlie this win was for him too. DHS try to Ki hydrated.

Elsewhere backstage, Mark Briscoe laughs at Jay some more. Jay gets in his face finally, YEAH. Mark tells him he can’t touch him because this is PA, he’s 17 and he don’t have a license. Jay says to hell with that because he’s his brother. AND, ROH goes to Boston next month where he doesn’t need to be licensed and he can touch him all he wants (pause) so he challenges Mark to a match in Boston! Mark looks scared but tells Jay he’s just gonna lose again.

Daniels in his locker room disturbed, rocking back and forth muttering “this isn’t the end of the prophecy” and Simply Lucious is consoling him. Daniels sees the ref of tonight’s match and throws him up against the wall and repeats his claim that he pinned Low Ki, he was never pinned, and ROH has screwed him but this isn’t the end of the Prophecy. He tells the ref to warn all of the ROH higher ups that they just put the nail in their very own coffin, because when he returns to ROH in a couple of months, the Prophecy will be fulfilled. He throws the ref down and storms off.

Well, the show ended up not being AS BAD as It thought it was going to be. Jay/Guido and NBS/CC were great midcard attractions and the main event is a true all time match up. I don’t think it’s like in the conversation of greatest wrestling match of all time or anything. But honestly? I’d probably put it in the top 2-3 Iron Man matches I’ve ever seen, and certainly ahead of the massively overrated Bret/Shawn piece of shit.

The Boston and next Philly show are set up nice. Boston, we get Styles/Ki II for the belt, Briscoe/Briscoe, DHS/CC and NBS/FBI. Not bad even if the originally announced Danielson/Spanky doesn’t happen. Then, at the next Philly show, even though Corino/Danielson doesn’t happen, you’ve already set up Ki/Xavier for the belt, the tag title tournament and the return of Christopher Daniels. So things are really starting to take shape after a really rough start to the company in those first 3-4 shows.

I also want to note that this was the first show in this review project where I actually enjoyed commentary! Donnie B and Corino did a stellar job honestly. So hilariously? I’m pretty sure this was their last or next to last show they commentate together.