ROH: EMPIRE STATE SHOWDOWN - 10/25/2003

ROH: EMPIRE STATE SHOWDOWN

Salmon Creek Country Club
Spencerport, NY
October 25th, 2003

ROH World Champion: Samoa Joe (Since 3/22/2002 - 7 Defenses)
ROH Tag Team Champions: Special K (Since 10/16/2003 - 0 Defenses)

Backstage, Samoa Joe is standing by with words. He says that war is an interesting word to him. It's the type of word that will send chills down a man's spine. There is only pain and suffering in war, no real honor or glory. A guy who was once an honorable, moral and respectful man, can become a heartless, immoral, killing machine. So for the life of him, he doesn't know WHY Jay Briscoe and his brother would want war with him. Do they think they can become those people? He doesn't think they can. But tonight, Homicide's challenged him to a match, and he's accepted. But it's not for the title, because Homicide hasn't earned that. But to make it interesting, he wants it No Holds Barred. Because he is Samoa Joe. And he is pro wrestling.

In the back, Colt Cabana is filling in for GMC to find the scoops, saying he’s putting the talk show on hiatus for today. He wants to find Homicide and Smokes, so he walks up to this curtained off area and knocks on a pretend door and lets himself in. He goes and tells them about Joe's challenge to make their march No Holds Barred, and Homicide laughs and says to sign the deal, it's on. Smokes tells Colt to tell his boy to ELEVATE HIS HATE. THEY'RE GONNA BE UP HIS ASS LIKE A G STRING OR A GERBIL. BBDAAT. BBDAAT. BBDAAT.

Match #1: BJ Whitmer vs. Dan Maff [Field of Honor Tournament Match]
If BJ doesn’t win here, it’s curtains for him in the tournament since Maff is still a match behind. They beat the fuck out of each other for about ten minutes and it’s honestly a lot of fun. Good strikes, throws and drops. Honestly the best BJ match in a while. Finish comes when Whitmer snakes his way out of the Burning Hammer and hits his wrist clutch exploder to get the huge win!
**3/4

UPDATED BLOCK B RANKINGS:
CABANA - 2
WHITMER - 2
MAFF - 1
RAVE - 0

So it will all boil down to the Cabana/Maff match at the show next week. If Cabana wins, the Block B final will be Cabana/Whitmer. If Maff wins, it’ll be a triple threat match for the final.

Match #2: Dunn & Marcos vs. Alex Shelley/Jimmy Jacobs vs. Outcast Killaz vs. Fast Eddie/Don Juan [Tag Team Scramble]
Lotta fun spots, but outside of what Shelley/Jacobs WILL become, this is just a showcase for the job guys that honestly should’ve been left on the cutting room floor as a dark match. Like it’s not bad at all, I just don’t know why it needed to make the DVD. Shelley/Jacobs are really fun as a team though. Surprisingly though (I guess), it’s the Ring Crew Express that win when Dunn hits Tortuga with a Cutthroat Driver. Wow.
*3/4

Match #3: Christopher Daniels vs. John Walters
An honest to god terrific Daniels performance which helped carry the mediocre Walters to maybe his career showing. Daniels underestimates Walters in the beginning, and he’s sure to show that through facial expressions, and Walters also does some good knee work that’s elevated by Daniels selling throughout the rest of the match. Refreshing to see at this point in ROH. Daniels mounts an early comeback though and stays in control for most of the remainder of the match with a lot of great lower back work, all the while still selling his knee! Daniels is also super over at this point which is nice. Walters claim here is that he stays in the match, causing a lot of near falls and what not. Eventually, after a number of quick moves and pin attempts in quick succession, Daniels hits the Last Rites to win.
***

Post match, Daniels goes to leave but gets back in the ring with a mic. He puts over Walters performance tonight and says it was good enough that he’d actually shake his hand. He goes to FINALLY shake hands in ROH…but pulls away at the last second, saying he will continue to NOT to do that simply because ROH wants him to do it. What he will do instead is offering his respect to Walters and offer him a spot in the Prophecy. Walters thinks about it as the crowd cheers him on. Xavier comes out and yells at Daniels, saying this guys a loser and he’s beaten him twice. Walters grabs the mic and tells Xavier something about being more honorable than him, so Xavier attacks him until Daniels pulls him off. Daniels and Xavier yell at each other but then Walters attacks Xavier and Xavier bails.

Daniels follows Xavier to the back and they continue to argue about what just happened. Xavier gets in his face, but Dan Maff is there immediately to get in Xavier’s way and warn him that any shot he throws at Daniels will have to go through Maff first. Xavier essentially quits the Prophecy and storms off and Daniels says to come talk to him again when his head is on straight.

In a pretape, Steve Corino cuts a promo. He said that he's had quite the past with Christopher Daniels, and he doesn't understand what he's doing or what he's said. He called HIM a snake?! Besides calling him a check bouncer, fraud, or a no good promoter, that's the worst thing to call someone in this industry (Paul E catching strays). They go way back together. Five years ago, they were in the WWF dojo together trying to win jobs in New York. Luckily, they didn't, but now he’s a snake? When he wished him luck in his title match, he was being sincere! When he brought his sister Alison in on all this, he was a little upset, sure, but now she's the top woman in ROH. He brought her to that level, and he's proud of that. He still considers him a friend. He sent him a card for his birthday, and it got sent back! Their friendship is no more, but he would NEVER stooge him out to CM Punk. He doesn't even care about Lucy. If he had his wish, all women in ROH would leave, but he's not that type of guy. And let's talk about Punk a second. He reminds him of a young Steve Corino, now that he's 30. He reminds him of a 23 year old Steve Corino, who wanted more, and let his mouth do the talking to get him out of the opening match and he disrespected veterans. But he's the wrong veteran to disrespect, given how obvious it is that he looks up to him. He’s nothing more than a young, tattooed Steve Corino. He's flattered, but he better not EVER think he's above him. He books him with Raven? COME ON. What did he even accomplish? he could’ve beaten Raven anytime they faced, and this time it only took him 10 mins to beat Raven. Punk needs to learn some respect, because he never needed his help. He's going down tonight, and he needs to be taught some respect. And the future? Well, for one thing, he’s DONE with Homicide. HE MAY HAVE TAKEN HIS HEARING. HE MAY HAVE LEFT PERMANENT SCARS ON HIS ARM. BUT HE NEVER PINNED HIM AND NEVER MADE HIM TAP. HE WILL ALWAYS BE BETTER THAN HOMICIDE. HE’S BETTER THAN BIG HEAD SAMOA JOE. HE’S BETTER THAN CHRIS DANIELS. HE’S BETTER THAN CM PUNK. HE'S STEVE CORINO, AND HE LOVES TROUBLE. BECAUSE HE'S BETTER THAN YOU.

So nice to have a true all time great utter that line instead of some overrated shithead like nowadays.

Match #4: Special K (Izzy/Dixie) (c) vs. Carnage Crew [ROH Tag Team Championships]
I was looking forward to this because both teams have become surprising bright spots in this project for me, but in no way did this need 15+ mins. Gabe does not know (at least yet) how to properly book and time things out. This becomes a long period of, mostly, the Crew beating the hell out of Special K and being unable to put them away. The other major part of this match is an overly long and not very good Special K control segment. They are NOT that type of team and are NOT in a type of match where that would make sense. Eventually, Special K start using the belts again to attack the Crew and magically pull off the victory when Izzy gets a sunset Powerbomb on Loc.
**

In the back, it’s intermission time, and with still no GMC it’s Colt Cabana and he interviews Dan Maff. He asks how he could lose to BJ Whitmer? Cabana says he beat him and people love him, and Maff says he doesn't like Colt. Cabana asks if The Prophecy attacked Lucy. Maff says it's not his business and says they didn't do it, but he doesn't care who did. He swears on his father's grave that they didn't do it. Whatever happened, happened, but they didn't do it. Cabana says The Prophecy is a group of jerks, and he's going to beat him in the last Field of Honor match next weekend. Maff says he's gonna kick his ass, because this comedy shit ain't working for him. He's gonna dump him on his fricking head if he sleeps on him. Maff yells to bring his A game and storms off as Cabana shrugs. He wipes the spit off and says he wanted the news, not the weather. You nerd.

Match #5: Xavier vs. Chris Sabin [Field of Honor Tournament Match]
This was just sort of whatever. Sabin did some fun stuff. Xavier existed. I really don’t care. Shit is mind numbingly boring. Xavier works the neck of Sabin, blah blah blah, and he hits a Cobra Clutch Suplex followed by a Cobra Stretch to win the match.
*3/4

UPDATED BLOCK A STANDINGS
XAVIER - 2
STRYKER - 2
WALTERS - 0
SABIN - 0

So Xavier and Stryker will meet in a match that will be a mix of the Block A finals AND a legitimate contestant for the absolute most boring fucking match ever. If you wanted this format to work, you couldn’t have picked worse guys.

It’s time for Corino & Punk. Corino does his typical overly long ring introduction and it’s fantastic as usual. Bobby Cruise has the mic and says wrestling is a sport rich in traditions, made up by the manliest of men. Men who abused other men, men who abused the occasional women, and men who abused themselves through substances such as drugs and alcohol. They are witness tonight to a man who holds close to him THESE VERY TRADITIONS. A TRUE MAN'S MAN LIKE SO MANY OF WRESTLING'S GREATS BEFORE HIM. MEN LIKE:

• CAPTAIN REDNECK DICK MURDOCH
• TERRY BAM BAM GORDY
• JACK VICTORY (high spot!)
• BOBBY EATON
• LORD STEVEN REGAL
• OUTLAW RON BASS
• JESSE BARR
• BRUISER BRODY
• SWEDE HANSON
• THE CUBAN ASSASSIN FIDEL SIERRA
• GENTLEMAN CHRIS ADAMS
• SEAN WALTMAN
• KILLER TIM BROOKS
• JEFF HARDY (crowd boos a TON)
• SABU
• SHINJIRO OHTANI
• ANGELO MOSCA
• DAVEY BOY SMITH
• MANNY FERNANDEZ
• PAUL BUTCHER VACHON
• MAD DOG VACHON
• BOB SWEETEN
• KINTARO KANEMURA
• TRACY SMOTHERS
• STEVE KIERN
• GENE KINISKI
• THE CRUSHER
• BUDDY ROBERTS
• DR. D DAVID SCHULTZ
• STAN HANSEN
• HOLLYWOOD JOHN TATUM
• ADRIAN ADONIS
• MARTY JANNETTY (strangely big pop)
• 2 COLD SCORPIO
• WAHOO MCDANIEL
• VADER
• THE IRON SHEIK
• HACKSAW JIM DUGGAN (crowd let’s put a big HOOOOO)

At this point, Cruise stops for his traditional water break. Cruise instead takes a drink from a flask and Corino makes him offer Punk some, and Punk flips out and and goes after Cruise and Corino, before it's calmed down by the ref. Punk's selling of all of this is FANTASTIC, as he looks so disgusted and Corino just keeps laughing harder and harder. AND WE CONTINUE WITH…

• CHRIS CANDIDO
• OX BAKER
• JACK BRISCO
• PLAYBOY BUDDY ROSE
• BILL DUNDEE
• HANGMAN BOBBY JAGGERS,
• RICKY MORTON
• MICHAEL P.S. HAYES
• ANDRE THE GIANT
• GINO HERNANDEZ
• THE JUNKYARD DOG
• MATT BORNE, THE ORIGINAL DOINK THE CLOWN
• BRAD ARMSTRONG
• NATURE BOY BUDDY LANDELL
• GUILLOTINE LEGRANDE
• DICK THE BRUISER
• HARLEY RACE
• THE DESTROYER
• RAY THE CRIPPLER STEVENS
• THE ROAD DOGG
• BIG CAT ERNIE LADD
• TERRY FUNK
• HOT STUFF EDDIE GILBERT
• BILL WATTS
• MAGNUM TA (Corino yells “oh you KNOW he drank”)
• BUZZ SAWYER
• SUPERFLY JIMMY SNUKA
• SCOTT HALL
• RAVEN
• SCOTTY THE BODY
• JOHNNY POLO (Punk LUNGES at Cruise at this point.)
• WILDFIRE TOMMY RICH
• JAKE THE SNAKE ROBERTS (HUGE pop)
• AND ALL OF THE VON ERICHS.

FOLLOWING THIS TRADITION IS ONE OF WRESTLING'S GREATS. WEIGHING IN AT 233 POUNDS OF COLD FILTERED FURY. THE EXTREME HORSEMAN, THE KING OF OLD SCHOOL, THE KING OF KINGS, THE KING OF BEERS, AND THE **FUCKING GOD** OF PRO WRESTLING, STEVE CORINO.

Punk, however, has a retort, and he brings DeAngelis in the ring to read A PARTIAL LIST OF DRUGS CM PUNK HAS NEVER DONE OR WILL EVER DO, WHICH ACCORDING TO HIM, MAKES HIM BETTER THAN EVERYONE IN THE BUILDING, ESPECIALLY THE OLD MAN.

• MARIJUANA
• CRYSTAL METH
• CRACK
• COCAINE
• VALIUM
• SOMAS (Corino almost LOSES it)
• DEMORAL
• PROZAC
• PAXIL
• WELBUTRIN
• AMBIEN
• ORTHOTRICYCLIN
• PRILOSEC
• ZYRTEC
• CELEBREX
• NASONEX
• PERCOCET
• PAYOTE
• HEROIN
• ECSTASY
• RITALIN
• CLARITIN
• FLONASE
• OXYCONTIN
• XANEX
• ZOLOFT
• METHADONE
• METAMPHETAMINE
• VALTREX
• KETAMINE
• PCP
• GHB
• LSD
• STD
• HGH
• THC
• PMA
• MDMA
• CODEINE

AND DEANGELIS TAKES A WATER BREAK TOO!

• VIAGRA
• NICOTINE
• IBUPROFEN
• LIPITOR
• ROHYPHNOL
• SUDAFED
• ADVIL
• VICODIN
• PERCODAN
• ALLEGRA
• PENICILLIN
• ADDERAL
• PROPECIA
• AND FINALLY, NYQUIL.

I missed a TON of the drugs listed because it was moving so fast, went so long and some of the mispronunciations threw me. But holy shit, that is commitment to the bit. FANTASTIC stuff.

Match #6: CM Punk vs. Steve Corino
I really enjoyed this. I understand it’s faced some critique over the years because maybe they didn’t mesh all that well, or because it was heel versus heel. But I had a great time. Corino is overly cocky but Punk is too, Corino is more experienced but Punk has more stamina, Corino is stronger but Punk is quicker. Punk starts to take over around the halfway point and is really hitting all of his strikes perfectly. Corino starts to sell the nagging injuries he has and eventually goes down holding his ear from the Homicide slap. He really sells it to the point where I thought something legit happened BUT THE FUCKER GOT ME TOO AS HE USED IT AS A CHANCE TO CHEAP SHOT PUNK! He then yells WHO’S THE FUCKING HEEL NOW?! Corino takes over and uses his experience as his edge, but he gets too cocky when he has a chance to end it. He instead yells ECW STYLE and goes for the Old School Expulsion but Punk reverses it and then hits an Enziguiri! They start going back and fourth with the lead and near falls, but neither can keep the other down, AND TIME EXPIRES AT TWENTY MINUTES. Interesting.
***

Post match, an additional five more minutes is teased, but Punk leaves the ring after a hand shake and Corino gets the mic, and says to get his ass back in here. Punk refuses. Corino calls him a drug addict and asks the crowd wants five more minutes. Punk says he wrestles for hours at a time, and he can do five more. Corino says he DOESN'T get paid by the hour, but he does have a guarantee, even though knowing Gabe and Rob, it isn’t a lot. If he loses, he still gets gas money to drive six hours home in his ex wife’s LeSabre. And if Punk loses, he goes back to Chicago empty handed, so let’s give them five more minutes so one of them gets paid more.

Corino gets the crowd to go crazy for it and says to listen here. He's been everywhere, done everything, beaten everyone around, done every drug, drank every alcohol, and nailed every girl, and maybe his too. One think Punk can never do is out-heel him. He's a younger Steve Corino, with a lot more tattoos and less fat. He likes that. So are they gonna do it? Punk gets in the ring and seems to be considering it. Corino says he'll tell Punk a secret, this is what you do. You look them (the fans) in the eyes and say, "SCREW YOU. PAY FOR IT NEXT TIME." HA! He shakes Punk's hand.

Punk gets the mic then and says ROH is about respect, and while they will not see eye to eye on a lot of things, they are on the same level, and he respects that. They both get up in the morning and go to the gym. He pauses and looks back at Corino’s physique and…Well, HE goes to the gym, at least. Corino says he went to Jim's Bar today and asks if that counts? The crowd starts the goodbye chant, so Punk says he'll wait and both sit down criss cross apple sauce style in the ring, and I believe that’s the first time Punk’s done that. Noteworthy. He says he hates these people. They pay to see them, but will never be able to dictate to them what they do or say. They get back up and Corino drinks from the flask. They shake hands again and leave together. Corino says he's so proud of him.

That was all just phenomenal. Pre match, the match and the post match. May have literally single handedly saved this review project.

Match #7: Colt Cabana vs. Jimmy Rave vs. Justin Credible vs. John Walters [Four Corners Survival Match]
This seems so pointless. Why is John Walters double booked? What is Credible doing here but not helping the Carnage Crew? Just lame booking in an absolute death spot between one of the greatest 45 minute periods in ROH history and the main event. It barely got any time either, I mean a 9 minute fatal four way is some fucking WCW 1999 stuff. Walters makes Credible tap with a sharpshooter. MOVING ON.
*

Match #8: Samoa Joe vs. Homicide [Non-Title / No Holds Barred]
I was beginning to type out a summation of this match by saying that whenever ROH goes to these one off towns or places they simply don’t have much of an audience in, they kind of put on this WWE House Show style events. I mean as great as the Punk/Corino stuff was, that was CLASSIC House Show time killer/send the fans home happy stuff, making it even more perplexing why it wouldn’t have closed the show. However, while this match wasn’t the best meeting these have had or will have, it’s certainly not for a lack of effort. It only goes a little over 10-11 mins, but it’s a fun fucking fight from start to finish. The only real hardcore element was a table spot in the corner. Other than that, this stip is there so these two can bend the rules and fight all while still having an actual wrestling match, and I love that. Pretty shocking ending when Homicide locks on his STF, but can’t quite transition to the Torture STF, so Smokes tosses him something that Cide puts on Joe — IT’S A FUCKING NOOSE! AND HE PULLS ALL THE WAY BACK ON IT WHILE STILL HAVING JOE IN A MODIFIED STF, AND HE GETS THE WIN! WHOA!
***

Post match, Homicide poses with the ROH Belt over top of Joe as the announcers say that with that non title win, Homicide just shot himself right back up to the top of world title contention.

Backstage, Special K celebrate their win by SNORTING LINES OFF THE TAG BELTS. Convicted Sex Offender Rob Feinstein comes in to let them know that they’re going to have to defend the belts against the returning BRISCOES. YEAH YEAH MAN UP SON.

There’s another Cornette promo, but fuck him. And fuck you. He’s coming back to The ROH soon.

NEXT WEEK: Styles/Bryan II; Special K/Briscoes for the belts; Cabana/Maff; and one of the more controversial moments in ROH history occurs with the debut of Teddy Hart.

Oh boy.